Sorcerer in the Marvel Universe

"Take it for a spin."

The moment Evenson offered, Tony Stark accepted without hesitation.

It wasn’t often Tony encountered a car he’d never driven. With his wealth and reputation, he’d owned or tested nearly every exotic vehicle on the planet.

But Evenson’s vintage coupe was one of a kind.

Money couldn’t buy it.

After several exhilarating minutes of hard acceleration, aggressive cornering, and enough drifting to horrify any classic car collector, Tony finally pulled over and shut off the engine.

He leaned back with a satisfied grin.

"This thing is incredible."

He glanced at Evenson in the passenger seat.

"It’s over sixty years old, yet it drives like a modern supercar. You enchanted it somehow, didn’t you?"

"You noticed?"

Evenson wasn’t surprised. If anyone could tell the difference between engineering and magic, it was Tony Stark.

Tony laughed.

"Now you’ve got me curious."

He looked almost pained.

"I really want to pop the hood and see what’s hiding underneath."

"Not happening."

Evenson shook his head.

"Trade secret."

"I’m serious." Tony’s expression grew thoughtful. "We ought to work together."

He tapped the steering wheel.

"Magic is objectively real. Science is objectively real. Imagine what happens when the two stop pretending the other doesn’t exist."

"We could build things nobody’s ever dreamed of."

"It’s an interesting idea."

Evenson smiled.

"But that’s a discussion for another day."

"I actually wanted your advice about something else."

Tony relaxed.

"All right. Ask away."

He shrugged.

"You did save my life."

Ever since Evenson had pulled him back after he’d carried the nuclear missile through the portal above Manhattan, Tony had considered himself in debt.

"If I can help, I will."

Evenson hesitated.

For someone who had stared down demons and Hell Lords without blinking, this was unexpectedly difficult.

"So..."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"A little while ago... I started dating someone."

He meant Clea.

Whatever complicated relationship he currently shared with the Eredar Twins, he had never considered them girlfriends. If anything, the dynamic resembled a very strange relationship between owner and... pet.

Though, if he was being honest, he wasn’t entirely sure which side of that equation he belonged on.

Tony’s eyebrows climbed.

"Oh?"

A slow, knowing smile spread across his face.

"Relationship advice."

He nodded with complete confidence.

"You’ve come to exactly the right person."

Who was America’s most famous billionaire playboy?

Tony Stark.

Women were practically his elective field of study.

Evenson had come precisely because of that reputation.

"We were together for a little over a month."

He smiled faintly.

"It was... nice."

Granted, most of their dates involved staying up until ridiculous hours playing video games together.

Still.

He’d enjoyed every minute.

"Sounds promising."

Tony spread his hands.

"So what’s the problem?"

"She left."

Evenson’s smile disappeared.

"And after that..."

He sighed.

"Everything became complicated."

Tony nodded sympathetically.

"I know the feeling."

His experience mostly involved women refusing to leave after one-night stands, but emotional complications were emotional complications.

Before offering advice, however, he needed context.

"How serious did things get?"

Evenson thought carefully.

"We held hands once."

He paused.

"...Actually, twice."

Tony slowly turned to stare at him.

Then he looked away in visible embarrassment.

"What?"

Evenson blinked.

"I can’t believe I’m having this conversation."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.

If Evenson had cheated...

If he’d abandoned someone...

If he’d gotten someone pregnant...

Tony had strategies for all of those disasters.

But dating for a month and only holding hands twice?

He almost wanted to pretend they weren’t acquainted.

After taking a deep breath, Tony reminded himself that this awkward warlock had saved his life.

He owed him.

"Honestly," Tony admitted, "I’m still waiting to hear the complicated part."

"This is America."

He shrugged.

"You held hands. Nobody signed a blood pact."

Evenson coughed awkwardly.

"So... here’s what happened."

"She went back home for a while."

"Then the Chitauri invaded New York."

Tony nodded.

"I’m with you."

"After the battle..."

Evenson hesitated several times before forcing the words out.

"...I don’t really know how it happened."

"The very same day..."

"I somehow ended up sleeping with two other women."

Silence.

Tony stared at him.

Then he reached over and gave Evenson’s shoulder an understanding pat.

"Post-apocalyptic stress responses are... complicated."

He wasn’t exactly judging.

After surviving near death, people made questionable decisions all the time.

"So now..." Evenson groaned. "How am I supposed to explain any of this when she comes back?"

Tony waved dismissively.

"I don’t see the problem."

He pointed at himself.

"Look at me."

"I’ve spent years surrounded by beautiful women."

"And has Pepper ever caused a scene?"

Not really.

Pepper Potts tolerated far more than most people ever would.

She managed his schedule, cleaned up his disasters, and somehow remained by his side through all of it.

Evenson ground his teeth.

"Keep saying that."

He folded his arms.

"One day Pepper’s going to leave you for your bodyguard."

Tony snorted.

"Never happening."

He dismissed the prediction with absolute confidence before steering the conversation back.

"Forget me."

"Let’s solve your problem."

He began asking questions.

"Do you know when she’s coming back?"

"No."

"Do you know where she is?"

"No."

"Any way to contact her?"

Evenson hesitated.

"...No."

Tony stared at him.

"So what do you know?"

"I know her name."

There was a very long silence.

For the first time in years, Tony genuinely wondered whether Evenson was hopeless.

He finally sighed.

"My friend..."

He delivered the verdict with clinical certainty.

"She dumped you."

"...What?"

Evenson’s eyes widened.

The possibility had genuinely never crossed his mind.

"That can’t be right."

"Really?"

Tony began counting on his fingers.

"She didn’t tell you where she was going."

"No."

"She didn’t tell you when she’d return."

"No."

"She left no contact information."

"...No."

Tony spread his hands.

"What exactly do you think that sounds like?"

Evenson froze.

Looking at it that way...

It really did sound exactly like she’d broken up with him.

Tony gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"Look, it’s your first relationship."

"It happens."

"You clearly don’t know much about dating."

He smiled reassuringly.

"Turn the page."

"Tomorrow’s another day."

Unfortunately, Evenson barely heard a word after She dumped you.

The sentence echoed in his mind all the way home.

She dumped you.

By the time he reached the Sanctum, he was operating entirely on autopilot.

He leaned across the front counter, staring blankly into space.

She dumped me...

Several minutes passed.

Finally, he let out a long breath.

Well...

If Tony was right, then maybe this solved more problems than it created.

At least he no longer had to figure out how to explain the Eredar Twins to Clea.

Heartbreak was unpleasant.

Awkward relationship explanations were arguably worse.

His mood improved... slightly.

Then the front door slammed open.

"Evenson!"

A familiar female voice rang through the Sanctum.

"Hurry! Come with me!"

Evenson went rigid.

He slowly turned toward the entrance.

A graceful figure swept inside like a gust of wind.

His eyes nearly popped out of his head.

He immediately threw himself behind the nearest chair as though it could somehow hide him.

"C-C-Clea?!"

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