Hallelujah...
Evenson felt himself bathed in radiant light.
A handsome black-haired angel with wings stretched wide floated toward him, smiling warmly as he extended a hand.
"I am the Archangel Makoto Itou."
"Come. Join me in the Eternal Paradise of... unfortunate romantic endings."
Evenson reached toward the offered hand.
His entire life flashed before his eyes.
...
Wait.
A life review?
Isn’t that what happens when you’re about to die?!
He snapped back to reality.
Sure enough, he had been cornered.
The Eredar twins stood before him with folded arms.
There was nowhere to run.
Cold sweat poured down his face.
His survival instincts kicked into overdrive.
His eyes darted toward the left.
An opening!
I can escape through there!
Then Claire calmly walked over...
...and blocked it.
With a pleasant smile.
"How convenient," she said, looking down at him. "I was rather curious myself."
"I’d love to hear how you usually get along with these two ladies."
Evenson’s brain spun at impossible speed.
Then inspiration struck.
He suddenly leapt to his feet.
"Wait!"
"I can explain!"
He strode out from between the three women as though taking center stage.
With a mournful sigh, he began speaking in the dramatic cadence of a stage actor.
"When our little band first set out..."
He gestured solemnly.
"We barely had enough people to fill a room."
"Then we crossed paths with a terrifying old Sorcerer."
"I was completely overwhelmed."
He pointed dramatically at Claire.
"Fortunately!"
"Claire remained calm under pressure and risked everything to warn me!"
He clasped his fists respectfully toward her.
"I, Evenson, never forget a debt!"
"Such kindness must be repaid!"
The speech made absolutely no logical sense.
Its connection to the original question was nonexistent.
And yet...
It somehow stunned everyone into silence.
The three women stared blankly.
Mouths slightly open.
Aurecess mechanically reached into her pocket, produced a cigarette, and handed it to Saloras.
"Here."
"Have one."
Saloras accepted it in a daze and lit it.
Aurecess then absentmindedly offered another to Claire.
"You too."
Claire blinked.
"I... don’t smoke."
"Good."
Evenson hurriedly stepped in.
"Let’s keep it that way."
He knew perfectly well what the twins mixed into their cigarettes.
One puff was enough to knock out an ordinary human.
Unfortunately...
Opening his mouth broke the spell.
The twins immediately regained their senses.
Aurecess slowly exhaled a ring of smoke.
"So..."
"It was all about repaying a favor."
Her smile became increasingly dangerous.
"Exactly!"
Evenson nodded frantically.
"Think about it!"
"Claire secretly came to warn me behind the Sorcerer Supreme’s back."
"She was guaranteed to be punished afterward."
"How could someone as loyal as me ignore that?"
Aurecess smiled sweetly.
"I see."
"In that case..."
"We forgive..."
She vanished.
"...absolutely nothing!"
She launched herself into the air.
A split second later...
A cloven hoof slammed directly into Evenson’s face.
"AAAGH!"
He spun across the floor, rolled three full revolutions, and finally came to a stop clutching his nose.
"You take us for idiots?"
Aurecess pointed furiously at the crumpled Warlock.
Evenson was on the verge of tears.
What else was I supposed to do?
Did they expect one of those melodramatic romances where someone shouts, "Let me explain!" and the other person yells, "I don’t want to hear it!"?
Aurecess was still fuming.
She looked ready to stomp him several more times.
Then Saloras quietly tugged at her sleeve.
The sisters exchanged a glance.
Thousands of years of perfect understanding passed between them without a word.
Aurecess slowly calmed herself.
She looked first at Evenson.
Then at Claire.
Finally she took a deep breath.
"Remember your place."
"Behave yourself."
With that, the twins opened a portal.
They prepared to leave.
Saloras’s reasoning was simple.
Throwing a jealous tantrum was beneath them.
Pets tried desperately to earn their owner’s affection.
Owners did not compete with their pets.
Besides...
They had overwhelming advantages.
They were immortal.
Beautiful.
Powerful.
And there were two of them.
Still...
Just before stepping through the portal, Saloras pulled out her phone and deliberately raised her voice.
"Veronica?"
"Keep an eye on my cat."
"If it wanders off chasing strays again..."
"...make sure the problem is solved at the source."
The portal closed.
A cold breeze seemed to pass through the room.
Evenson instinctively crossed his legs.
Something suddenly felt very vulnerable.
At least...
The queens were finally gone.
He released a long breath of relief.
Then...
A hand landed gently on his shoulder.
Every martial arts technique involving dislocated joints and shattered bones flashed through his mind.
Claire’s quiet voice came from behind him.
"Evenson."
"You never answered my question."
She paused.
"Actually..."
"I don’t think you need to anymore."
"I already know."
Evenson stared at the ceiling.
Then sighed.
"Fate really does have a twisted sense of humor."
A short while later.
A black SUV pulled up outside the little shop.
An Asian woman in a tailored business suit stepped out.
Melinda May had arrived for their appointment.
She looked up at the storefront.
"This place always has a strange atmosphere."
She frowned.
It used to radiate nothing but crushing poverty.
Today...
It felt more like the aftermath of a battlefield.
She shook her head.
Not my problem.
Just as she reached the entrance...
Something came flying out of the shop.
Her instincts took over instantly.
Although she’d transferred to desk duty, years as a top S.H.I.E.L.D. operative hadn’t left her.
She sprang backward.
The object crashed onto the sidewalk.
Only then did she realize...
It was Evenson.
"Mr. Richter," she said with genuine concern, "we’re colleagues, not enemies."
"There was really no need to greet me with a full-body prostration."
"Please, get up."
Before she finished speaking...
A hand emerged from inside the shop.
It grabbed Evenson by one pant leg...
...and dragged him back inside.
His body scraped across the floor, leaving a thin trail of blood behind him.
May’s expression changed instantly.
Did someone just kill him?
Her hand instinctively reached for the pistol she normally carried.
Only then did she remember.
She wasn’t armed today.
"Evenson?"
A weak voice answered from inside.
"I’m... still alive."
A thoroughly battered Evenson staggered back into view.
May blinked.
"What happened to you?"
He looked catastrophic.
His clothes had been shredded into ribbons.
Fresh scratches covered his arms and neck.
Most bewildering of all...
There was a perfectly clear hoofprint stamped across his face.
Evenson sighed with the exhaustion of a man who had glimpsed the abyss.
"Life..."
"...is full of surprises."
I was only trying to communicate my feelings honestly.
I even consulted Tony beforehand.
How did everything go this spectacularly wrong?
From inside the shop, Claire narrowed her eyes as she watched Melinda May’s obvious concern.
...Another woman?
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