Strategy for Dealing with Problematic Girls

Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the barbecue dinner. The Gold-Rimmed Overlord Squid really was worth the five million Eris the owner of the fishing grounds had offered for it. That fragrance unique to good seafood seemed to be concentrated in every last piece of its flesh, and grilled over charcoal with no seasoning at all, it smelled so good it made people want to swallow their own tongues.

Luckily it was big enough that, aside from the grilling, Jhin had gone to the trouble of making fried squid rings for the girls to sample. Megumin liked fried food best of all, since it paired so well with cola.

Her soft pink tongue flicked across her oil-glossed lips. "Jhin, let's go buy a whole lot more Overlord Squid at the seafood market tomorrow!"

"Let's finish everything Pecorine caught first. And are you sure you won't get sick of deep-fried food if you eat that much of it?"

"As long as I've got cola, I will never get sick of it!"

Cola. That reminded Jhin that Megumin's intake had been running a bit over the line lately - six bottles a day, on average. A girlfriend putting on a little weight was no problem at all, but it was probably better to give her a gentle warning now, so she wouldn't turn around and pin the blame on him later.

He wiped the grease off his hands with a napkin, picked up a skewer of grilled meat, walked over to Megumin, and gave the soft flesh at her waist a squeeze through her clothes.

"Eek!" She let out an adorable yelp, and the meat tumbled out of her mouth - only for Jhin's quick hand to catch it.

"Megumin, did you eat too fast and burn yourself?"

"Ah... mm, that's right."

Pecorine waved her tongs. "There's plenty more here, so you can slow down."

"Okay." Then Megumin's face darkened and she dropped her voice at Jhin. "You jerk, what was that for, out of nowhere?"

"Have you noticed you've gained a little weight lately?"

At those words the skewer in her hand lost all its appeal. She went quiet, set down her bowl and chopsticks, and asked, half-doubting, "R-really?"

"Would I lie to you about something like that? Didn't we just take a bath together?"

"Then... then why didn't you tell me while we were in the bathroom?"

"If you hadn't brought up cola, it wouldn't even have crossed my mind."

"What does this have to do with cola... never mind. Where exactly did I get fatter?"

Megumin was quietly panicking. "Getting fat" was the mortal enemy of every girl alive, and on top of that she was a young woman in the middle of a passionate romance - words like that hit twice as hard.

Jhin pointed at the little belly hidden under her clothes. "Right where I just touched."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not that bad. It feels nice, actually."

After hearing Jhin's assessment, Megumin carried off an entire bowl of grilled meat and walked away with a worried frown, already working out how to launch a diet plan in the days ahead.

"Master, say ahh." Kokkoro held a piece of meat up to his mouth.

"Mm. You should eat more too. This meat is special ingredients I gathered at the Red Dragon Volcano just for this."

"Elves aren't all that fond of meat."

"Right, of course..." Jhin reached back into his storage space and pulled out a strange ingredient that looked like a chili pepper but was actually an apple. "This is a chili apple. Apart from being shaped like a chili, it's got nothing to do with one, and it's especially sweet."

"Master really has collected quite a lot of special ingredients I've only ever seen in the encyclopedia."

"That's because a kindhearted Red Dragon keeps supplying them to me. Anyway, never mind that - if you like it, I've got plenty more here."

"I'm already full." Kokkoro turned down her Master's feeding and began feeding him instead. "Master, you're a boy, so you have to eat more."

Pecorine stopped grilling and stared at Kokkoro and Jhin's little exchange, then started shoveling food down at light speed. The mountain of meat piled high in her bowl melted away under her dancing chopsticks.

With the barbecue dinner finished in high spirits, Jhin - reeking of smoke from head to toe - decided to take another bath. This time he hauled a mewling, protesting Kyaru into the bathroom with him and raised a wind element barrier on the way in. About an hour later, the two of them came back out.

Seeing no flush on her face and nothing clouded about her eyes, Kokkoro and Pecorine exchanged puzzled looks.

You said an hour meant certain other activities. Why does it feel like you were lying to us?

"Wh-what? He just helped me wash my hair..." Kyaru broke out in goosebumps under their stares, though her black hair - now so smooth it practically gleamed - made a fairly convincing argument.

"Long hair does take forever to wash... Kokkoro, I'm going to go take my bath now."

"Of course. Master, why don't we take a little walk along the shore afterward?"

"Oh. Sure."

For some reason Jhin had the persistent feeling the girls were plotting something. But he trusted every one of them, so he let the groundless hunch go.

Come on. As if a white-haired loli would ever do me harm!?

Once they left, Pecorine poked her head out of the bathroom. "Are they gone?"

"They are. Let's hurry up and set everything up!"

"Mm!"

Jhin held Kokkoro's small hand, soft and boneless and smooth, as they strolled through a sea breeze carrying that strange coconut scent. The beach at night wasn't as lively as by day; nearly everyone had gone up onto the shore to eat and drink. The people still ambling along down here were mostly couples, and they lent the place a rose-colored atmosphere.

Kokkoro bent down and picked a hollow, triangular conch shell out of the fine golden sand. "Master, look. There are shells like this on the beach."

"The shape really is interesting. Are you going to keep it?"

She shook her head. "It's only that seeing something from the encyclopedia in real life for the first time is a bit novel."

She tossed the shell back into the water, brushed the last grains of sand from her hands, and slipped her small hand back into Jhin's palm. "Let's keep walking."

She didn't seem to have any destination in mind. She simply led him back and forth along the shoreline. Compared with the couples they passed now and then, wrapped up in each other's arms, the two of them looked rather out of place.

No displays of affection. No lingering looks meant to convey feelings. He didn't put an arm around her shoulders; she didn't press herself against his arm.

Jhin enjoyed this plain, unhurried kind of walk. When he was with her, time always slowed down of its own accord. Maybe that was the languid air unique to a long-lived race.

After who knows how long, Kokkoro stopped walking on her own. "Master, do humans all have a custom of celebrating birthdays?"

"That's right. Basically everyone celebrates the day they were born, once a year. At least, that's how it is where I'm from."

"When is Master's birthday?"

"November. Come to think of it... the continent of Astraea uses the same years, months, and days as back home."

"Then I'll have plenty of time to prepare a gift for you." Kokkoro smiled, visibly relieved.

"Mm, I'll be looking forward to that day. Oh, right - what would you like for your birthday present today?"

She blinked, then smiled shyly. "It really is too hard to keep anything from you."

"Because you're not the type to ask a question like that for no reason."

"I want to give you a small gift."

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