Surviving the apocalypse with a wife and a system! [GL]

It fell on her like warm sunlight. Not too heavy, not too cold, just steady enough to make her even more aware of herself. She kept asking herself whether Bai Li already knew. If Bai Li knew, then this whole thing was a little too embarrassing. But if Bai Li did not know, then why did it feel like Bai Li’s teasing was getting smarter by the minute? Yan Cijin thought hard about it while lifting one more box. Her chest felt tight in a strange way. She wanted to say something straightforward, but every time she opened her mouth, the words got trapped somewhere near her throat. It was not because she had no courage. It was because the person in front of her mattered too much. Anything said carelessly now might make things awkward for real. She was not in a hurry to make things official. She was not in a hurry to define anything. She only wanted to let things flow naturally and see where they went.

That thought calmed her a little. Nature take its course, she told herself. There was no need to rush. If Bai Li really had feelings, then she would see them clearly sooner or later. If Bai Li did not, then she would not force it. Yan Cijin told herself that with great seriousness, yet the moment Bai Li walked past her carrying another load of food, all that careful composure started wobbling again. Bai Li’s shoulder brushed near hers. The motion was brief, almost accidental, but Yan Cijin still stood frozen for a beat longer than necessary. Bai Li noticed and turned back. "What now?" Yan Cijin immediately said, "Nothing." Bai Li smiled and shook her head. "You keep saying nothing, but your face keeps saying something." Yan Cijin looked down and muttered, "You are imagining things." Bai Li did not bother arguing. She just carried on, but her smile stayed in place in a way that made Yan Cijin feel completely seen.

As the room got clearer, the air inside somehow got even hotter. The little mountain of supplies in the living room began to shrink little by little, replaced by a more orderly layout that made the whole place finally look like a place where a person could live instead of just survive. Bai Li moved the edible things together, the cleaning supplies together, the bedding together, and the tools together. Yan Cijin followed her lead more and more naturally now, though her thoughts were still bouncing around in a very unsteady way. Once, when Bai Li turned her back, Yan Cijin quietly reached up and pressed her own cheek with the back of her hand. It was still warm. Way too warm. She took a deep breath and tried to tell herself that this was just because she had been working hard. Yes, working hard. Nothing else. But the more she repeated it, the less convincing it sounded. Her eyes kept wandering back to Bai Li, especially when Bai Li bent over to move boxes. The sight made Yan Cijin’s pulse speed up for reasons she did not want to name yet.

Bai Li finally noticed that Yan Cijin was not only flustered but also visibly fighting herself. She almost felt sorry for her. Almost. Then she thought about the expression on Yan Cijin’s face earlier and decided that maybe a little more teasing would not hurt. "Dr. Yan," she said, "do you want me to work faster?" Yan Cijin looked over in a panic. "Why would I want that?" Bai Li put a hand on her hip and said in a very calm voice, "Because you look like you want to escape." Yan Cijin opened her mouth. Then she closed it. Then she looked away. Bai Li continued, "If you are really uncomfortable, I can stop joking." Yan Cijin heard the word joking and nearly understood everything at once. She stared at Bai Li with wide eyes. So Bai Li was teasing her? On purpose? Yan Cijin did not know whether to feel relieved or even more embarrassed. She heard herself say, "You knew?" Bai Li blinked in return, all innocent again. "Knew what?" Yan Cijin immediately regretted asking.

The room went quiet for a second. In that small quiet, all the things neither of them had said sat between them like little sparks waiting to catch fire. Yan Cijin looked at Bai Li, and Bai Li looked back. The two of them were both aware of something, but neither one was willing to be the first to name it. Yan Cijin secretly wanted to know if Bai Li had read through her thoughts, because she was starting to suspect that Bai Li understood more than she let on. Bai Li, on the other hand, was trying very hard to look calm while her own heart was a little wild. She had noticed everything. She had noticed the medicine packet, the way Yan Cijin panicked, the way she avoided looking directly at her, the way her ears went red for no reason. It was impossible not to understand at least a little. But understanding was one thing. Acting on it was another. Bai Li was not ready to cross that line yet. Not because she did not want to. Because she wanted it too much. Wanting too much made people careless, and careless people died early in a world like this.

Yan Cijin suddenly thought of something and almost wanted to laugh at herself. She had been imagining all kinds of messy things, and here Bai Li was just talking about moving chairs and cleaning rooms. How embarrassing. If the ground could open up and swallow her, she would have welcomed it right then. But because the ground remained stubbornly solid, she had no choice but to live through the embarrassment with her own two feet. She crouched down, picked up a few folded clothes, and muttered, "Your way of speaking is too easy to misunderstand." Bai Li looked at her and replied very honestly, "Maybe

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TO BE CONTINUED.

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