System Certified Supervillain

Trampolines made things bounce.

This wasn’t a new revelation to Tiff, but an idle thought which came to her during the middle of Amy’s birthday party. They were durable sheets of material stretched tightly inside of a frame, held together by springs. When something heavy fell on it, naturally, it wanted to expel the object in the other direction.

Thus: bounce.

So long as it had sufficient weight, things bounced. Kids bounced. Adults bounced. Tiff bounced.

A portly little fellow who overindulged in donuts bounced.

Some of Amy’s friends, who were coming into their own…bounced. They might even need to invest in better bras.

But support and stability weren’t the only things on Tiff’s mind as she went up and down. The main question, which felt like a recording left on loop, was why am I doing this? Followed immediately by why is this so fun?

Many of Amy’s friends had scattered throughout the complex and Tiff didn’t even know where the birthday girl herself was. After checking in at the front door and paying for entry, everyone was given mostly free rein.

Mostly, because there were a few activities that weren’t something a parent would randomly let a child experience unattended.

The Trampoline Park wasn’t just a warehouse filled with sproingy-tarps that yeeted children violently into the air. It was a business, and as such, had a multitude of attractions. There was a full-sized basketball court, suitable for SlamBall. Dudes got suited up in padded shirts and kneepads to dunk stylishly on each other before they could get bodied.

There wasn’t a league game today, so it was open court where anybody could join a pickup game. Needless to say, the girls weren’t allowed to go in there by themselves, no matter how mature they were for 15-year-olds.

There was also an indoor skydiving attraction. While technically not a trampoline, it fit the theme of discovering creative ways to prolong one’s time while airborne. The girls couldn’t wander in there by themselves, but they signed up as a group and had a dedicated appointment where they could let a giant fan keep them hovering in the air for roughly 60 seconds.

Melissa and one of the other parents who’d come along slowly trailed after various groups to keep an eye on the 8 girls, while Tiff was content to park herself on the first basic trampoline and just…bounce.

“Not going to do any tricks?” Victoria asked. She also came along, but she was closer to a parent than a playmate, though she absolutely planned to school these kids when it came time to laser tag. Tiff gave her sister a flat stare, watching her head slowly tilt up and down as Tiff bounced.

“No.”

It wasn’t the first time Victoria tried to goad Tiff into doing something crazy on the trampoline. In fact, Tiff was fairly certain half the reason Victoria was hanging out with her was just to tease her. But Tiff was strangely content on this small, single-person trampoline. She could bounce up and down undisturbed, unworried about impact or colliding with another child.

She also found she could easily let go of all the barriers she put up at school. Not that she actively tried to be a different person while at school, but on any given day, she normally put her head down and tried to muscle through the day without causing any trouble or drawing any attention. According to Candice, Tiff’s strategy may have backfired, as she’d earned herself a reputation as “that quiet girl” in the back of the class, and all the stigma that came with it. Maybe that’s how her evil aura manifested.

But here, on the trampoline, Tiff could simply be herself. Which was currently a small 16-year-old going down…and up…and down…and up…in a seemingly inescapable pattern.

“C’mon, Tiff,” Victoria grinned. “How about a flip? It’s easy! I even showed you!”

“No, thank you,” Tiff said as she hit the height of her bounce. Yes, as her sister said, Victoria did do a flip. She got on one of the reinforced trampolines and somersaulted, rotating a full 360 degrees forward.

Then she proceeded to get creative.

She did a double flip. Then a backflip. Then a triple flip.

Victoria then took several big bounces to really prep herself, and pulled something Tiff could only call…a maneuver. It involved flipping, indeed, but it was also twisting. Tiff was fairly certain there were two full rotations involved, but just watching Victoria do it made her own head spin.

“How about a backflip,” Victoria bargained, as if that made it sound less frightening. “Technically easier, since you don’t have to worry about smashing your face with your knees.”

And this was the woman trying to convince her to flip?

“No,” Tiff said flatly, once again dipping below Victoria’s eye level. “I’m not suicidal.”

“Not saying you are,” Victoria grinned. “But I think you’ve got it in you.”

“I have bounce in me,” Tiff said, enjoying that feeling of gravity squishing her insides together as she came back down in a landing before suddenly letting everything free in a weightless launch. “That’s good enough for me.”

Victoria sighed but smiled softly and continued to watch Tiff go up and down.

All things considered, Tiff should be proud of how much time she spent bouncing on that trampoline. She’d been bouncing for at least a solid 30 minutes, and with her reduced stats and non-existent stamina, that might as well be a marathon. She was starting to sweat slightly and her legs were beginning to remind her of the consistency of jello, but for some reason, she couldn’t get off. Of course, since her sister had been watching the entire time, none of this escaped her.

“You okay there, Tiff?” Victoria asked. Tiff’s passive face revealed nothing, but her breathing was starting to turn into a ragged pant.

“To…ri…,” Tiff said, pronouncing a syllable each time she landed, “I…think…I’m…stuck.”

Tori let out a deep guffaw.

“What do you mean, stuck?” She chuckled. “It’s a trampoline. You just stop bouncing.”

“That’s…the…thing,” Tiff puffed with each bounce, “I…can’t…stop.”

“Really?” Victoria rolled her eyes. “Fine. Bounce this way.”

The thing about the trampoline park was that the trampolines were like normal ones found in stores or sometimes in wealthy kids’ backyards. They weren’t big tables raised above the ground with huge safety nets. For one, the park didn’t need the nets because the entire massive warehouse was padded. Almost every solid surface within 10 feet of a trampoline was padded. For another, they weren’t raised off the ground. In fact, the floor was dug out underneath each stretched tarp so the trampolines were the ground.

The trampoline Tiff chose to use was a small square patch over in a secluded corner. Since it wasn’t a busy section, she didn’t need to worry about running into anybody, but it also meant Tiff didn’t have much space to cover as she slowly bounced her way to the edge. Before she could reach a point where she feared tripping on the padded edge, Victoria thrust her arms out.

Now, Tiff wasn’t one to brag, but she prided herself as an expert in the Way of the Cat. It was an advanced technique utilized by small people when a really big person came around. The trick was to go limp and let them catch you…which Victoria did. Her big sister chuckled, pulled Tiff in for a hug, and swung her around for good measure.

Tiff remained limp, because she trusted Victoria (and she was too afraid to stand). What really signified a Way of the Cat master was knowing when to stay limp, but in Tiff’s experience, it was rather simple. It was also a matter of trust.

If the big person can be trusted? Stay limp. They’ll take the small person to safety.

If the big person can’t be trusted? Stay limp. They’ll be caught off guard by the limp body and a well-timed thrash-about can secure freedom.

If the big person can really not be trusted? Flail like mad. Use claws and teeth as directed.

Tiff was well attuned to the big people in her life, as Melissa and Victoria could pick her up like a misplaced stuffed animal whenever they pleased. Even Amy was getting big enough to cart Tiff around if she was in a playful mood, but Tiff was slowly teaching her when it was okay to pick up grumpy cats and when they wished to be left alone.

“Th…anks,” Tiff huffed as Victoria put her down. She wobbled away on unsteady legs like a newborn fawn before eventually shuffling like a grandma over to a chair and collapsing into it.

“That really took it out of you, eh?” Victoria mused. Tiff said nothing and waved her hand in front of her face. The intensely minor breeze it gave her only made her hotter, which irritated her further.

“Tori, have you seen a water fountain? I’m thirsty.”

“No doubt,” Victoria laughed. “You wait here; I’ll go get some water.”

Tiff remained seated at the bench and watched people run around. Most customers in the park were kids accompanied by a few parents, but there was a surprising amount of young adults, too. From where she was sitting in the main hall, Tiff could see a majority of the attractions available. It might be obvious, but the Trampoline Park wasn’t just a big patch of grass with several tall trampolines on it. Instead, it was a cross between a next-gen gym and proving grounds for future seasons of American Gladiator contestants. Everything was big...and loud.

Even the colors.

While most of the trampolines were black or very dark grey, all the padding and other objects were bright, primary colors, usually red, blue, or green. Sometimes there was a deep purple object here or there, and one of the tall towers was painted sky blue.

And why, exactly, would there be a tower in a jump park?

For idiots to jump off, obviously.

On top of a suicide tower, they also had a lovely mosh pit filled with hundreds of foam blocks, each a full cubic foot, with which to potentially suffocate or bury somebody under.

…needless to say, Tiff had opinions about many of the park’s attractions.

But that wasn’t to say she wasn’t having fun.

She felt a small smile tug at her lips as she watched the crowds of people congeal into indistinguishable masses. For a Saturday, this place was absolutely bumpin’...and not just because of the heavy electro-music. The place probably had a capacity of close to 500 people, and it was at least half full.

Now that Tiff had finally caught her breath and no longer felt a phantom bounce even when sitting still, she could really look around. She couldn’t spot Amy, her friends, or their mom, which wasn’t altogether unusual in a huge place like this, but something felt off. A tingle ran up her spine and she whipped her head around. Maybe 100 feet away, along the adjacent wall, were several employees. And they were staring at her.

Tiff frowned. With how many customers this place had, there was no reason 4 employees should be staring at her, subtly pointing her way. Tiff was about to get up and find someplace else to sit when Victoria returned.

“Hey, we leavin’?” Victoria asked, plonking a large, cold bottle of water onto Tiff’s table.

“Tori,” Tiff said under her breath, as if those men could hear her across the crowded room, “Do you see those guys?”

“What? Speak up, Tiff, it’s loud as heck in here.”

Apparently, Victoria couldn’t hear her either.

“I said,” Tiff repeated, almost at a shout this time, “Those guys. Do you see them?”

“The employees?” Victoria asked, sitting down and taking a deep slurp of a soda she bought. “Yeah. What about ‘em?”

“They’re watching me. Before you got here, they were pointing at me.”

“Huh,” Victoria frowned. She stared intently at the men, but either they weren’t looking at Tiff or her glare scared them off, because they soon retreated. “That’s weird,” Victoria said. “Did you do something when I was gone?”

“No,” Tiff rolled her eyes. “Amy’s the troublemaker, not me.”

“And yet,” Victoria tousled Tiff’s hair, “All the trouble seems to find you lately. Come on, let’s go find the troublemaker, see if she’s tuckered herself out yet.”

Regrettably, she had not. Amy was likely in contention for a Nobel Prize as a perpetual motion machine, and her friends were living batteries. They’d thrown themselves into a sunken, bouncy mosh-pit of hell and were giving elbows off the top rope.

Despite there being no rope.

Tiff was still feeling wobbly, so Victoria hoisted Tiff onto her shoulders and bounded her way across the room. They came across Tiff’s mom and the other parents, standing at the rim of the pit…and Melissa was making things worse.

“GIVE ‘ER THE CHAIR!!!” Melissa bellowed, to the terrified looks of one of the moms. A dad, on the other hand, was laughing his butt off. Especially because there were no chairs.

“Mom, are you being weird?” Victoria asked as she walked up. Tiff always liked riding on Victoria’s shoulders, because she was finally taller than her mom. Only by a little bit, but that was something.

“Oh, munchkins!” She beamed, turning to them. Her face was flushed, and Tiff was sure she’d been down on the trampolines herself, sproinging around.

“Mom, you’re sweaty,” Tiff grimaced as Melissa leaned forward and gave her a peck on her stabilizing hand. “Have you been terrorizing the kids?”

“Only a little!” Melissa laughed with a wink. Glancing at the other mom, Tiff had to wonder if she was regretting letting her child come to this party. Fortunately for her, the park charged by the hour and they’d only gone with 1. They still planned to go laser tagging after this, and they didn’t want the kids completely drained.

Tiff watched from the safety of Victoria’s shoulders as Amy and her friends literally bounced off the walls, screeching their heads off. At least they were having fun.

When it was close to their time being done, the group all made their way to the indoor skydiving station, where all the kids and Melissa (as the “responsible” adult) gathered for their minute of flight. The attendant explained the instructions, made them watch a video, and made them take off any loose accessories. Tiff didn’t always wear jewelry, especially when she went out to places where she’d shimmy out of it by jumping around, so she didn’t have much to remove.

As such, she glanced around idly, waiting for Amy and her friends…and noticed the employees from before. This time, two beefy dudes were standing next to them.

“Mom,” Tiff hissed, tugging on Melissa’s elbow. “Look. Look. Do you see those men? Are those thugs? They look like thugs to me.”

“Hmm?” Melissa muttered. She bent down, had Tiff repeat herself, and stood back up. When she did, she wasn’t smiling. “I wouldn’t go as far as to say thugs, Tiff,” she said with a frown. “But they do look serious. They’re looking this way. Do they have business with us?”

“I don’t know about the not-a-thugs, but the employees were looking at me earlier. I think they want something from me.”

“Do I need to go have words with them?” Melissa growled, stepping forward ominously.

“No!” Tiff panicked, latching onto Melissa’s elbow. “We’ll lose our place in line! We need to skydive first!”

“Hmmm,” Melissa grunted. She glared at the men as they walked away and turned a cheeky smile toward Tiff. “At least you’ve got your priorities straight.”

Skydiving, it turned out, was not for Tiff. While she didn’t scream like a baby, her stomach did all sorts of weird things as she felt like she was both falling and flying at the same time, and after the (very long) 60 seconds were over, she almost kissed the ground and promised herself, never again.

​

Skytropolis Trampoline Park was located in a large shopping center on 5th Street. Somewhere along the lines, city planning had tried to make an amusement complex without having an actual theme park. They’d given discounts on tenancy to businesses that fit the theme, such as Skytropolis, but it wasn’t the only company to take the bait. There was a Regal Cinema 16 movie theater, a John’s Incredible Pizza Factory, and Q-zar…a laser tag arena. There were, of course, regular businesses, such as a PetSmart and a Target, where Tiff was promised she could expect more while paying less, but she was doubtful.

Amy’s birthday party was centered neatly inside this shopping compound, which probably meant they fell right into the city planners’ trap. But Amy was happy, her friends were happy, and Tiff was having a good time. They’d jumped themselves silly, and now it was time for a few good rounds of laser tag and a trip to the ‘Za Factory for some aggressively mediocre pizza. What they lacked in quality they made up for in quantity, as it was an all-you-can-eat buffet that came with 5 bucks in tokens to the attached arcade for the birthday girl.

One of the other parents immediately detached from the group to confirm their reservation at the Factory. Melissa took charge of everybody else and led the way into laser tag. Each game was roughly 15 minutes, and they booked 4 games, so it was going to be another hour until they ate. While that wouldn’t affect Amy or the other girls, Tiff was getting tired and quietly pulled her mom aside and said she only wanted one or two games.

Melissa looked at her with a worried expression, but after rubbing her hand gently through Tiff’s messy hair, she gave her a fond smile and said the passes were there if she changed her mind.

Tiff was pretty sure she wouldn’t…until she got a brilliant idea.

“Tori, are you playing tag too?”

“I mean, I wasn’t planning on it,” her big sister said. “Not really fair to all the squirts.”

“I’m a squirt too,” Tiff grumped. Victoria merely laughed.

“I said what I said.”

“Fine!” Tiff huffed. “I guess you don’t want to hear my great plan, then!”

“You?” Victoria teased. “Plan? Trust me, it’ll be anything but great.”

“You’re right,” Tiff bragged grandly. “It’s genius.”

“Okay, Miss Smartypants, what’s the brilliant plan?”

“How about we make the teams a little more fair? Join my side, and it’ll balance us out?”

“That’s your genius plan?” Victoria chuckled. “Tiff, I coulda worked that one out.”

“Yes,” Tiff said, “But what if we cheat?”

Victoria paused, smiled, and nodded.

“Go on?”

Tiff grinned savagely.

​

So, the premise of laser tag was simple. It was like shooting each other, except not lethal.

Okay, so it was slightly more complicated than that, given how janky the guns were, the uncomfortable vests that didn’t sit right, and the fact that, technically, the lasers had to be able to hit the targets in order to register as a hit. Meaning: if a target was obscured, the hit didn’t count. And if it didn’t count, the player wouldn’t get penalized.

Tiff’s thought process was something like this. If she played normally, she’d struggle to put on her vest, lug the heavy gun around, and slog through the dark, fog-filled maze waiting for a teenager to jump scare her. She would then promptly get shot, have her gun disabled, and need to go back to base to refill her “lives.” She’d need to return to base eventually to refill her “bullets,” but realistically, Tiff didn’t think she’d ever get the chance to shoot them all in the first place.

But…what if Victoria was on her team? Victory would be assured! It was in her name, for crying out loud! And, to sweeten the deal, for science’s sake…what would happen if Victoria put on all the gear…and then summoned her armor?

From what both girls could tell, the armor did some pretty funky things with reality. It was practically a second skin, but Victoria’s original clothes were still technically there. With Victoria armored up, She’d be practically invisible in the really dark maze, and she’d be impossible to hit!

…except, it seemed, that Victoria’s suit seemed to have a sense of humor.

“Huh,” Victoria said as she and Tiff snuck off into a corner of their base during the first round. Victoria had all her gear on, but when she transformed…her chestplate was slightly different. The bright, glowing strips lining her chest had rearranged themselves into four arrows, each pointing to a corner of a box. A box that looked suspiciously like the laser tag harness target. Not only on her front, but on her back, too. For good measure, Tiff tried shooting it…and yes, it actually worked. Not only did the bright RGB strips practically beam Victoria’s location to anybody within sight, but Tiff got docked for friendly fire.

Needless to say, Tiff’s plan failed miserably. As soon as the first girl stumbled across Victoria, who hadn’t had the chance to de-summon the suit, she panicked. She wailed at the top of her lungs, used her gun as a club, and started beating Victoria.

They almost got kicked out.

Tiff did end up playing all four rounds, scoring a combined total of 3 points over all 4 games, and yet still ended up on the mostly winning side. Victoria was that much of a ringer, even without her suit.

Amy was no slouch either, racking up 48 points, the second-highest overall, and becoming her team’s MVP in three out of four games. Even though she lost, she refused to change teams, saying she wanted to beat Victoria fair and square. The biggest of sisters may or may not have thrown the last game.

After they were all thoroughly exhausted and tummies grumbled all over the place, they were finally headed into the final course of the day. Pizza and video games- what could be a better birthday combination? Tiff wobbled sleepily into the Factory, but the smell of so much mediocre pizza breathed fresh life into her. There were so many options to choose from! And they even had sides!

But what self-respecting teenager would ever choose broccoli at an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet?!

Melissa herded the kids into a special, closed-off room reserved for parties. It had a whole string of tables lined up end to end so all the kids could eat together, and several unused booths. The adults all took to a booth while Amy and her friends rushed for the plates and hit the buffet. Tiff, at a much slower, sedate pace, followed.

While she didn’t eat nearly as fast as everyone else, she enjoyed what she did—especially the "dessert pizza,” which was essentially a giant cinnamon twist.

They sang happy birthday, Amy opened some gifts, and the kids were released into the arcade. Tiff hung back with Victoria as they wandered around, content to listen to the crowd of kids having fun at an arcade and losing a small fortune in tokens to rigged ticket machines. Victoria saw an interesting-looking racing game that incorporated holographic technology. It was a two-seater, more of a driving sim than an actual racer, and Tiff was interested to see it in action. At the very least, she could enjoy Victoria’s driving, since she knew she wouldn’t crash in real life.

Walking around, they discovered that, as with any self-respecting pizza joint, one of the token machines was out of order. As such, they had to wander halfway around the hall until they found a second one. On their way back to the racer, they stumbled across Melissa.

She was frowning, had her arms crossed, and looked like a beacon of discontent.

Tiff and Victoria hurried over, and to Tiff’s growing unease, she saw what was making her mom so upset.

Standing several paces away, on the walkway ringing the arcade, was one of the men who’d been looking for Tiff at the Trampoline Park. And, as soon as she reached Melissa’s side, they spotted her. They pointed, started talking rapidly, and decided to close in.

Melissa instantly stepped in front of Tiff.

“You guys need somethin’?” She asked brusquely. The men looked up at her in fear…but Tiff wasn’t actually sure Melissa was the one they were afraid of.

The three men quickly put their heads together and had a mini conference. One guy stepped forward, the sacrificial goat- er, the elected leader.

“Miss VanDyne? Are you Miss VanDyne?”

“Mrs. VanDyne,” Melissa corrected. “I’m married.”

The men looked unsure, leaned close to whisper among themselves, and the leader spoke again.

“Are you…Theophania VanDyne?”

Melissa’s eyes instantly narrowed and the hair on Tiff’s arms began to prickle.

“Tiff is my daughter,” she growled, taking a menacing step forward while the men cowered back. To their credit, they didn’t instantly run for it, though, so Tiff gave them that.

“Then could we…have a word?” The spokesman asked hopefully. Though from his pitiful tone of voice, it didn’t sound like he wanted to ask it.

“No,” Melissa ground out. “Denied.”

“It’s, ahh, important,” the spokesman winced and whimpered. Melissa was leaning so far forward that the man almost toppled over backward. He clamped his eyes shut as a light layer of sweat started beading on his forehead, but he didn’t back down. “We need to speak with the Dark Queen! It’s business! Nothing more!”

“It’s…business?” Melissa growled, her voice low and threatening. “What makes you think you have business with my child?”

“It’s the 5th Street Gang!” The man practically wailed. “Don Lorenzo’s old turf! He’s been muscled out, but some of the men aren’t happy to have a new boss!”

Melissa started inflating her chest, like she was sucking in a great gust of air. But…Tiff didn’t want to see her huff, puff, and blow any house down…and besides, she’d heard what the man said. This was her business.

“Mom,” Tiff said seriously. “I think I need to hear them out.”

“No,” Melissa denied. “You don’t.”

“Mom,” Tiff tried again. “I do.”

Tiff closed her eyes and actively concentrated on her aura. She focused on all the times she’d been ticked off lately, all the times she’d been mildly inconvenienced. At least, as it applied to her status as a Supervillain. She felt…something pulse out of her, something cold, something frigid. Melissa stood up, looked at her with a shocked expression, and the men were frozen with fear. Tiff hardened her face, slapped her cheeks for good measure, and glared at the men.

“I will hear your case in the booth in 5 minutes. Leave us until then.”

“Yes ma’am, whatever you say!” He rattled on quickly and tripped over his homies as they fled.

“Tiff…,” Melissa looked down at her daughter, her voice full of mixed emotions. But Tiff wasn’t going to budge. If these men found her here…could they find her somewhere else? Better to nip this in the bud before it got any more serious.

“Mom,” Tiff said firmly. “Can you find Tori? I want her here. And will you stay? I feel safer with both of you by my side.”

Melissa didn’t look particularly thrilled, but she did as she was asked.

4 minutes later, Tiff found herself sitting in a raised booth, the remnants of several plates of pizza pushed to the side. It was a U-shaped booth, and Tiff was sitting at the far side of the table. Blocking both of the entrances to the booth were Tiff’s sister and mom. Melissa in particular stood like an extremely pissed-off bulldog, her arms flexed and tense as they crossed over her chest. With her wild mane of flaming red hair, she resembled an angry lion.

“Should I suit up?” Victoria asked. Before Tiff could answer, Melissa perked up.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, does that enhance your strength?”

“I…don’t think so?” Victoria shrugged. “It’s armor, not a buff.”

“I think we should test it. Let’s arm wrestle.”

“Really?” Victoria sighed in exasperation. “Right now?”

“Maybe…later?” Melissa asked sheepishly. At least she was cognizant of her own faults.

“You know what?” Tiff sighed. “Sure. Suit up.”

Victoria smirked, raised her hand…and transformed. Thankfully, she didn’t shout it out for the whole restaurant to hear, but at the same time, Tiff was kind of sad.

She was just in time, too, as several seconds later, three men walked into the private birthday room and approached Tiff’s booth. They made it all the way to three feet away from the table, but it seemed they would move no further. They stared at Melissa and Victoria, and Tiff wondered which one scared them more.

“Ah, Dark Queen Theophania,” the representative said, taking a step forward. He was about to bow and take a knee, but he seemed to realize that would put him under the table, and Tiff wouldn’t be able to see him. He settled for an awkward hunch, which honestly suited him, since all three men had their hats in their hands.

“Speak,” Tiff said lazily. Maybe if she really hammed up the act, they’d learn to leave her alone.

“It’s, ah, about the 5th Street Gang,” the man said.

“You said as much before,” Tiff waved her hand. “Don’t waste my time.”

“Right! I’m sorry…your excellency? Grace? What do I call you?”

Tiff merely gave him an unimpressed stare. The man gulped, his eyes widened, and he continued in a hurry.

“Right! Your Excellency, it’s the gang. Without Don, it’s in shambles. It won’t dissolve; it’s too big for that. Most of the lieutenants are continuing to work, but some of them are fancying a promotion. Since, ah, you haven’t chosen a replacement, or otherwise made your will known, some people are getting ideas. And you know what happens when people get ideas, right?”

Honestly? Not really. They made inventions? Created cool stuff? But that probably wasn’t the answer the guy was looking for…and Tiff was also tired of calling the guy…the guy.

“I think,” she said slowly, “I need more information.”

“Yes?” The Guy gulped.

“You,” Tiff pointed to him. “What’s your name? What do you do? What’s your role in the organization?”

“Me?” He asked rather redundantly. “I’m Frank Bean, and I-”

“Wait,” Tiff held up her hand. She wanted to laugh, but she didn’t. “Did you say your name was Frank Bean?”

“Yes?” Frank tilted his head, but Tiff could also see the light leaving his eyes. He must get this a lot.

But he’d never gotten it from her before!

“As in…franks and beans?” Tiff asked with an amused snort. Beside her, Victoria sighed heavily.

“Dark Queen,” she said in her deep, modulated voice, “This is not the time. The poor man had dicks for parents. Leave him alone.”

“Quite,” Tiff straightened up, stilling her quivering lips. “Mr. Bean, if you’ll continue?”

“I’m, ah, a grocery clerk. I work at the Hugh’s. Behind me, this is Marelli, and that’s Jim Bob. Marelli owns this place.”

“By this place, do you mean John’s?”

“Yes, Your Excellency,” the man said meekly. Once again, Tiff’s lips squirmed.

“Is your first name John?”

“No?” He said, confused. “It’s Luigi.”

“So this is Luigi’s Incredible Pizza Factory,” Tiff mused. Victoria sighed again.

“Boss….”

“Right!” Tiff coughed. “Mr. Bean! What do you do for the organization?”

“I’m an [Accountant].”

Tiff nearly lost it.

“Moving on,” she wheezed through clenched teeth. “What does that mean for the gang?”

“Somebody’s gotta tally up the receipts, right?”

“Indeed,” Tiff agreed. “I have a [Vizier] for those needs. It’s good to have competent people.”

“Ah, about that,” Frank said slowly. “Coming to the point, Miss Queen, if you don’t do something quick, I’m not sure you’re gonna have those people. Those people who want promotions? Plainly speaking, they’re planning on taking over. If you don’t want to lose your seat- not that that’s likely, mind! But if you don’t want trouble, you need to do something.”

“Me,” Tiff repeated. “I need to do something.”

Her icy tone froze the private room and the three men began trembling. Tiff stared them down until she heard them whimper. She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.

“Mr. Bean,” she said solemnly. “Mr. Marelli and Mr. Bob. You come to me on the day of my sister’s party. This is a special occasion, one that I hold dear. You know that I won’t do anything to jeopardize her special day…and this does not sit well with me. But what can I do? I’m not eager to see a war. In war, people get hurt. Good people get hurt. But to make sure my people don’t get hurt…I’m forced to hurt other people. I don’t like having to hurt other people. But…Mr. Bean…Mr. Marelli…Mr. Bob.”

Tiff leaned forward and lowered her voice to something barely higher than a whisper.

“I won’t allow my people to get hurt. If I do this…if you want to be my people…you will owe me. You will become mine. I own you. This is no longer the 5th Street Gang; you fall under the umbrella of the Dark Queen. I have expectations, Mr. Bean. Meet them. Do not fail. And you will be protected. If you do not?”

Tiff looked at Victoria and her mom. She didn’t know exactly what to say, but thankfully, she didn’t have to say anything. The two towering women spoke volumes through their imposing silence.

“I trust we’ve come to an understanding,” Tiff said, smoothing the front of her shirt. “That leaves one minor detail…dealing with the insubordinates. Obviously today is off the cards…but when can we meet with the troublesome members of the gang?"

“I mean, I can round them up as soon as tomorrow if you really want?” The man suggested.

“No,” Tiff said aloud, before muttering to herself. “Sunday is a school night. I still have homework.”

The men gawked slightly, but wisely stayed silent.

“Perhaps…Tuesday,” Tiff declared, pulling a random day out of her pants. “In the afternoon. I have class until 3.”

“Class,” Mr. Bean repeated. Tiff raised a solitary brow and dared him to challenge her. He gulped and dropped the subject. “Tuesday’s fine! Tuesday’s great! I’ll call for an emergency meeting!”

He nodded eagerly and Tiff smiled faintly. Perhaps now they would leave and let her get back to the arcade. Sadly, the man had more to say.

“Ah, just, um, one more thing, Lady Queen,” he stammered. “If I may be so bold?”

“What is it?” Tiff sighed.

“Perhaps…consider choosing something more…proper to wear? Not that your aura of Villainy doesn’t shine through when you want it! But when we first saw you, over at the ‘Park, it was hard to recognize you? I get wanting to stay hidden, but, ah, to impress the men- intimidate the men? Maybe wear something with more…punch?”

“I’ll consider it,” Tiff said tiredly, rubbing her temples. This called for the dress, didn’t it? “Now…I believe we’re through here.”

The men bowed quickly and hurried toward the door. Tiff glanced at her System and saw a notification about several businesses being added to her Territory. She suppressed a sigh, but there was one good thing about “owning” this place.

“Mr. Marelli,” Tiff called, making the man skid to a halt. “I believe one of your token machines is out of service. As a token of goodwill, as your new boss, I’ll have it repaired.”

¹

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