The Life I Refuse To Waste [Slow Burn | Isekai | Remastered ]

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Zeldryn was still holding his forehead where Kera had flicked him. The sting itself was barely worth noticing. What confused him was what Kera had said.

'Huh? Kill myself?'

He stared at the man in front of him as the warning echoed through his mind.

'Only absorb as much as you need, idiot!'

Zeldryn slowly shifted his gaze toward the mana particles filling the forest.

'Only absorb as much as I need?'

Now that he thought about it, something strange really had happened earlier. At first, Zeldryn had only wanted to get rid of the empty sensation in his Mana Hole, but the more mana entered, the more comfortable he felt. The strange thirst beneath his navel gradually disappeared, replaced by the satisfying sensation of something inside his body being filled again.

Because it had felt so comfortable, he had gotten carried away. He kept absorbing mana until he stopped paying attention to how much was entering.

Zeldryn frowned.

'Don't tell me... I absorbed too much mana?'

Rather than continuing to build theories on his own, Zeldryn decided to ask directly this time. After all, getting answers from Kera was the entire reason he had gone looking for him in the first place.

“What do you mean?”

Kera immediately let out a long sigh. “Good grief...”

He looked as though someone had just handed him an incredibly troublesome job.

“Teaching an idiot like you is exhausting.”

Zeldryn restrained himself.

'Can you explain something without insulting me first, bastard?'

He kept the complaint to himself. For now, Kera's explanation mattered far more.

Kera finally raised both hands. “Think of it like this. Imagine you have a glass.”

Zeldryn watched as Kera shaped his hands as though he were holding one.

“Then imagine mana is water, and that glass is your Mana Hole.”

Zeldryn gave a small nod. So far, the comparison was easy enough to understand.

“When you absorb mana from outside, think of it as pouring water into that glass,” Kera continued, moving one hand as though he were pouring something. “A little mana goes in, your glass fills up a little. More mana goes in, your glass gets fuller.”

Zeldryn continued listening until Kera raised one finger.

“But there's a problem. A Mana Hole doesn't actually work like an ordinary glass.”

Zeldryn frowned.

Kera repeated the pouring motion. “If an ordinary glass is already full and you keep pouring water into it, what happens?”

“The water spills out,” Zeldryn answered immediately.

“Smart.” Kera smiled slightly. “At least you still understand something that simple.”

'Bastard.'

Kera pointed toward Zeldryn's lower abdomen. “But a Mana Hole is different. The mana that has already entered doesn't automatically spill back out just because your Mana Hole is full.”

Zeldryn's expression became more serious.

“Think of it as having some kind of door that keeps the mana inside.” Kera closed his palm. “Mana enters, the door holds it in, then you absorb more and even more mana enters. If you keep doing that, your Mana Hole will continue accepting mana for as long as you keep pulling it in.”

Zeldryn fell silent as Kera's gaze settled directly on him.

“The problem is that once you've already reached your capacity and still keep forcing more mana inside, the consequences won't affect only your Mana Hole.” Kera pointed toward Zeldryn's body. “Your body will suffer too.”

The explanation immediately brought back the events of the previous night.

When Zeldryn had first tried seriously absorbing mana, everything had initially felt normal. Mana entered his body, then more followed, and the process continued without any obvious problem.

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Then the pain had started.

It came from inside his body and steadily became worse until he could barely think about anything else. Eventually, the pain overwhelmed him completely and he lost consciousness.

'So...'

Zeldryn began connecting Kera's explanation to what had happened, but the man was not finished yet.

“If you want to release the mana already inside your Mana Hole, you have to do it yourself.”

Zeldryn focused on him again.

“You have to control that mana and use it.” Kera pointed toward the tree Zeldryn had attacked earlier. “Like what you just did. When you move mana and create an explosion, you're using the mana you have. The more you use, the emptier your Mana Hole becomes.”

Zeldryn instinctively placed a hand over his lower abdomen.

'So that's what caused that thirst earlier?'

The explanation made sense. His first explosion had felt normal, while the second had consumed much more mana. Only after that stronger attack had his Mana Hole started feeling empty and dry.

Kera formed the shape of a glass with his hands again. “So imagine your glass is already full, but you keep pouring water into a glass that can't spill the excess out on its own.”

A faint smile appeared on his face.

“What do you think will happen?”

Zeldryn did not need to be a genius to understand where the explanation was going.

'The pressure keeps increasing.'

And if the container could no longer withstand that pressure...

'It could break.'

Kera lowered his hands. “Understand so far, brat?”

Zeldryn slowly nodded. “More or less.”

The explanation answered one question, but it immediately created another.

Zeldryn remembered the previous night again.

'Wait.'

It was true that he had deliberately started absorbing mana. He had closed his eyes, focused his mind, and allowed more and more mana particles to enter until the pain eventually appeared.

But there was one problem.

'I stopped trying to absorb it.'

Zeldryn remembered that part clearly. Once the pain became severe, absorbing mana had been the last thing on his mind. He only wanted the pain to stop. His concentration had already fallen apart, and even maintaining a coherent thought had become difficult.

Yet the sensation of mana entering his body had not stopped immediately. The absorption had continued even though he was no longer consciously focusing on it.

Zeldryn raised his head.

“Kera.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to ask something.”

Kera sighed almost immediately. “You ask way too many questions.”

Zeldryn ignored the comment. “Can a Manholer absorb mana even when they're not focusing?”

Kera suddenly fell silent.

Several seconds passed before the corner of his lips began to twitch.

“Pfft.”

Zeldryn frowned. “Huh?”

Then Kera burst out laughing.

“BUAHAHAHAHA!”

Zeldryn's face hardened while Kera continued laughing for far longer than necessary.

'What the fuck is so funny?'

When Kera finally managed to calm himself, he was still grinning.

“Your question is hilarious.”

Zeldryn's irritation immediately grew. “What's funny about it?”

“Alright.” Kera raised one hand. “Instead of answering you directly, I'll ask you a question.”

Zeldryn waited.

“Imagine you're fighting. A real fight. The enemy is right in front of you, and the mana in your Mana Hole is almost gone.”

Kera closed his eyes, put on an exaggeratedly serious expression, and stood completely still.

“If every time you wanted to refill your mana, you had to do this, close your eyes, stand still, focus, then slowly absorb mana one particle at a time, what would happen?”

Kera opened his eyes again.

Zeldryn imagined the situation.

An enemy was standing directly in front of him while his mana was almost empty. Instead of continuing to fight, he would suddenly ask the enemy to wait while he closed his eyes and concentrated on recovering his mana.

“...Die?”

Kera's smile widened.

“Or get beaten to death before I even finish?” Zeldryn added.

“Yup.”

Zeldryn frowned.

'That's true.'

If every Manholer had to do what he had just done merely to recover mana, combat would become completely absurd. They would turn themselves into easy targets every time their Mana Hole began running empty. An enemy would only need to wait for them to close their eyes before attacking.

'That would be fucking stupid.'

Kera nodded. “It's rare to see you not being stupid.”

Zeldryn decided to ignore that.

Kera pointed toward him. “That's one of the reasons why I still call you a Level 1 Manholer candidate.”

Zeldryn's attention immediately sharpened.

“A Level 1 Manholer is at least capable of absorbing a certain amount of mana without having to close their eyes and focus their entire consciousness like you just did.”

Zeldryn frowned. “So they can absorb mana while doing other things?”

“More or less.” Kera shrugged. “If you had to sit down and meditate every time you ran out of mana, what would even be the point of fighting?”

Zeldryn fell silent.

'Makes sense.'

Even when he considered what he remembered from Life Really Is Happy, Right?, Kera's explanation fit. The author had rarely explained the mechanics of mana in detail. Usually, there would only be simple lines about the protagonist gathering mana or replenishing what he had used.

There had never been a scene where the protagonist stopped in the middle of a battle, closed his eyes for several minutes, and focused entirely on absorbing mana.

'He'd die on the spot, damn it.'

Zeldryn sighed, but several seconds later, his thoughts abruptly stopped.

'Wait.'

His eyes slowly widened as one part of Kera's explanation connected with what had happened the previous night.

A Manholer could absorb mana without constantly concentrating.

Which meant Zeldryn had indeed started the absorption deliberately that night. He had closed his eyes, focused, and pulled mana into himself.

Once the pain began, however, he no longer wanted to absorb anything. His concentration had already fallen apart.

And yet, the mana had kept entering.

'So just because I stop focusing doesn't mean the mana absorption has to stop.'

Zeldryn's heartbeat quickened slightly as he began putting the pieces together.

That night, he had initiated the absorption himself. Once the process started, however, he had not known how to stop it. Mana continued entering his body, the pain grew worse, and eventually he lost consciousness.

Something similar had almost happened again earlier. When Kera ordered him to replenish his empty Mana Hole, Zeldryn had started absorbing mana and gradually gotten carried away. He kept drawing more and more into himself until Kera was forced to flick his forehead and break his concentration.

Zeldryn looked down at his hand as one possibility gradually became clear.

'So all this time, I really can start absorbing mana.'

But being able to begin the process did not mean he had actually mastered it. Knowing how to open the flow did not mean he knew how to close it, and being able to pull mana into his body did not mean he knew when or how to stop.

Zeldryn slowly looked back at Kera as his eyes narrowed.

'So the reason mana kept entering that night, and the reason I almost went too far again earlier... is because I still don't know how to control when the mana absorption should stop?'

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