The Perfect Knight and the Illusionist (BL)

MARIUS

I was experiencing something I knew was classified as a heartache—that distinct pang in the heart. Something broke—something lost. A loss. So it’s grief, perhaps. Like losing one of my uncles, or somehow more like Aunty Joan never coming back. Closer to the latter, I believed. How were they different? Different kinds of losses. But this time, I wasn’t sure what I had lost.

"Are you guys going to tell me what’s going on now?" Thomas asked as we left Skylark’s recovery room and returned to the hallway.

"Leo’s not quite himself," Isabelle said.

"Duh, obviously. But WHAT happened to him?" Thomas pressed again.

"Do you... know anything?" Isabelle asked me.

"I know as much as you do, Isabelle."

That was my honest answer.

"Care to tell me about it?"

There was irritation in Thomas’s voice, outweighed only by his sympathy for Skylark.

Isabelle stopped, turned to face me, and said,

"You know something, Marius. At least more than I do."

Friendship.

What a wonderfully empathetic and operationally troublesome thing it was.

Then suddenly, a voice came from behind us.

"I would be careful if I were you, Valenkraft."

I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was this time.

"You guys go ahead first. I’ll catch up with you later," I said firmly to Isabelle and Thomas, trying not to sound too cold so I could talk to Dorian alone.

My tone worked. Albeit with some hesitation, they headed toward the classroom.

"What are you talking about?" I asked Dorian.

"I see you’re already trying to climb the ranks now," he said mockingly.

"I have no idea what you’re implying."

"Mathias Falken. You know him by name now, don’t you?"

I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to confirm or deny it.

"You don’t need to answer what I already know," he said with a sneer.

"Then why ask?"

"I just want to hear a Valenkraft say it."

"What does it matter to you?"

"It would satisfy me—to hear a Valenkraft admit he’s become Falken’s dog."

My heart erupted in rage—a rage I could allow myself.

I grabbed Dorian by the collar and shoved him against the wall.

"I won’t allow you to disrespect the Valenkraft name."

"Names, names, names. They matter so much to you, don’t they? I’ll tell you one thing, though—once you learn Falken’s name, you don’t get to leave."

I yanked him toward me, then slammed him hard against the wall again. My blood boiled, screaming in liberation.

"I have no interest in solving your riddles. Say what you want to say directly if you’re not a coward."

Dorian looked into my eyes for a few seconds, then burst into laughter.

"But I am a coward. What can I say? Please let go of this lowly coward, Lord Valenkraft. I shall scamper away in shame with my tail between my legs."

His words defused me.

I loosened my grip for a moment, and Dorian used the opportunity to pull himself free.

"You and I are not different."

"You’ll see."

With that, he walked down the hallway toward the morning class.

I had to go too.

But I couldn’t anymore.

Instead of following him, I hurried toward Falken’s office.

When I arrived, I took a deep breath, then knocked on the door—stupidly—four times in a stuttering rhythm.

"Come in, Marius," I heard Falken say from inside.

When I entered, he sat in a rather unassuming chair with many sheets of paper scattered across his desk, which he was rearranging into different positions.

"Please take a seat," he said, giving me a quick smile. "I’ll be with you shortly."

He continued shuffling the papers several more times, arranging them into different orders. He stood to look at them, then sat down again. He tilted his head from side to side and even changed his position to view them from different angles.

My heart was racing, but my mind couldn’t help admiring the man’s thoroughness, although I didn’t quite understand what looking at documents from different angles could possibly accomplish. Written words didn’t change meaning simply because you read them standing up instead of sitting down.

"Right, I shouldn’t keep you waiting any longer," Falken finally said, setting the arrangement aside to return to later.

"So... what troubles your heart, Marius?"

I had come with questions.

But what poured out instead was a confession.

"Sir, I’m conflicted. I am troubled—yes, troubled by Skylark’s behavior. Not only does he seem to be hallucinating, but something about him has changed. Sir... I’ve thought about it over and over, and I still cannot make sense of what happened during our mission. The sudden storm, the rain that didn’t make the ground wet, fire flowing with water... none of it makes sense. And my frie—classmates... they’re concerned too. Sir, I feel like...I’m losing him, and—"

"Marius," Falken interrupted in the gentlest possible manner.

"I’m so sorry, Sir."

"I once lost a colleague who was dear to my heart."

I was startled and confused.

But those words gripped me instantly.

"We were colleagues, friends—or perhaps even more. Brothers? Maybe. The label didn’t matter. We were inseparable. We went to school together, graduated together, trained together, joined the Ministry together, and worked together. I was him, and he was me. At one point, we joked that it didn’t matter which one of us lived and which one of us died, because the one who survived would continue living for both of us."

My heart was no longer racing.

It was shivering instead, trembling, with only my trained body keeping it from bursting open.

"He was the unfortunate one—or perhaps the fortunate one. It depends on your perspective. He fell ill with a rare disease. He received the best medical care the Empire could provide, such was his contribution and loyalty. But his condition did not improve. He withered, growing frailer each day. Every time I visited, I could see life leaving him little by little."

I was overwhelmed by his story.

This had never happened to me before, but something about his words touched me deeply.

They were honest.

Blunt.

"Then... I lost him."

"I... I’m so sorry to hear that, Sir."

"You remember I said we used to think it was acceptable if one of us died because the other would carry on for both of us?"

I nodded.

"I kept that promise. I still carry him with me—in my veins, in my bones—but..." He inhaled deeply.

"Part of me died with him too."

For the first time in as long as I could remember, I found myself struggling not to cry.

I, Marius Valenkraft, was close to tears.

"That, Marius, is ’loss.’ That is grief. You are not only losing someone, but you are losing yourself."

He understood.

Falken understood me.

"Leo has suffered. We want to help him, Marius. You can be certain we will do our best. He may have changed, but we are not going to lose him."

"I swear we will look after him."

With that, Falken walked around the desk, approached me, and embraced me.

I sobbed.

For the first time since I was a child.

And I felt no shame.

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!