The Simulacrum

Once again, the ebb and flow of my life slowly but surely found a casual rhythm. I would get up in the morning, have a nice big cup of refreshing breakfast tea… and then start putting out fires. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Lots of running around, approving or denying plans and operations, listening to endless meetings about political this and economic that and infrastructure whatever.

"Do the Speakers approve the Draconic Stimulus Package of the Abyssal Relief Plan?"

"Yes, yes. Just get on with it."

"Now, we just have to elect the members of the Abyssal Investment Committee to propose a budget to the Draconic Federation Fiscal Committee, then vote on that in the Draconic Council before forwarding in to the Portal Commerce Development Committee. Your signature, please?

"… Goddamn Draconian bureaucracy."

…

"Lord Peacemaker? Would you like your statue to be made of white marble or cast bronze?"

"I told you, don't make a statue of me. We have more important things to worry about."

"Then how about a memorial? Maybe something more abstract, like an obelisk or a stele or…?"

"No. No statues, no monuments, no memorials."

"Then how about a mausoleum? Just a small one?"

"… Do I look dead to you?"

"Um… no, but the pyramids weren't built overnight either, and… Oh! Actually, why don't we make one of those? Something imposing like that would certainly capture your greatness!"

"… Goddamn Abyssal sychopants."

…

"O Archon? I'm still of the opinion that we need at least sixteen bases to serve as a deterrent against the—"

"For the love of god, Mensah! If you don't stop scheming to turn this into a military occupation, I'll personally bury you along with Savir!"

"W-What did I do?"

"But Lord Archon! Please listen! We have to ensure that the Abyss would never pose a threat to— Prefect! Unhand me at once! I need to explain myself to the Lord Archon!"

"… Goddamn Celestials. Just, in general."

…

So yeah, something like that, day in and out. My mornings were kind of rough.

Then came lunchtime, which was usually in the company of a different segment of my rather wide inter-personal cycle. Dad-in-law, the Feilongs, the Knights, even the ex-Directors and Fidèle, along with various members of the Abyssal nobility… the list went on and on. Needless to say, these were also meetings, but at least they had the decency to keep most of the political topics out of the discussion. Not that there weren't enough other topics to choose from.

…

"So, Son? When are you going to hold the ceremony?"

"Abram, please don't pressure Leonard like that."

"Haha! Don't be like that, Arnwald! I'm just saying that, now is the perfect time to get married, before Naoren beats him to the punch!"

"It's not a contest, clan head."

…

"Listen, Celestial. This question was answered ages ago. According to historical records, countering a single Chimera required at least two Colossi. At least, meaning it could be more!"

"Bah! That's literally ancient history! Do you believe we haven't improved our Colossi over the centuries, Abyssal?"

"And do you believe that our Chimeras are the same as they were back then?"

"Maybe not. Maybe they're weaker."

"That's it! There's no need to talk about histories and hypotheticals! Bring your Colossus, Celestial, and we'll settle this debate once and for all!"

"Kihihi! Can we join, too? I've been itching to test our new Biomechanical Gigants."

"A new challenger?"

"Ha! We don't mind! Bring it on!"

…

So yeah, those weren't particularly quiet or peaceful either.

Then came more running around and paper-signing and whatnot in the afternoons, followed by some peace and quiet during the dinners. It was because I made it categorically clear that I was only going to spend them with my fiancées, so nobody bothered us during those times. Well, to be precise, we would be occasionally joined by my sisters, Arnwald and Morgana, and Ollie was a regular participant as well, but everyone had the good sense not to bring work to the dinner table, so things were peaceful. Mostly.

…

"Brotheeer! Snowy got a proposal letter again! Can I beat him up? Just a little?"

"P-Penny, please stop. You can't resol—"

"Penny-sama is right! We need to beat them up!"

"Yes! It's just another toad wanting to eat swan meat! Let's bring Bother Zihao along too, and beat them up!"

"Uuu… I got a letter as well."

"Oh no! Are they aiming at Ollie-kun, too!? Don't worry! Ichiko-oneechan will protect you!"

"Me too! Me too! I'll let them see Mount Tai!"

…

Then, once all of that was over, the girls would drag me to bed (sometimes in a more euphemistical way than just the literal, but I digress) and we would sleep together. Or rather, they would sleep, while I would… well…

…

"Argh! This is driving me crazy!"

"What's the problem, Fulgor?"

"The scenario! Or rather, what remains of it. I'm trying to archive it, to preserve it for later study, but the Simulacrum just isn't cooperating! It's like trying to negotiate with a cat!"

"Huh? Did you ever have a cat?"

"Erm… no, but I imagine this is what dealing with one would be like."

"… Have you tried asking Sol for help?"

"I would, but he's talking to the Venerate Benjamin right now."

…

"No, Benjamin. Just no."

"Why?"

"Because I say so. I know Oriole can be a handful, and even a bit annoying at times—"

"Hey!"

"— but it doesn't mean you can threaten to bite her."

"I wasn't threatening. I just announced what I was going to do ahead of time. I believe the term is 'fair play'."

"Doesn't matter. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. You're in my Domain, and I'm telling you; we don't bite people around here."

"Yeah! Take that, Venerated Benjamin! Bleee!"

"And you! Stop taunting him. What are you, child—? Wait, never mind."

…

So, yeah. Things weren't particularly peaceful on that side of the aisle either.

Like that, time slowly but inexorably marched on. Seconds dripped into minutes, minutes trickled into hours, hours streamed into days, days flowed into weeks, and the weeks into… Well, no, not months per se, but quite a lot of time had passed in the blink of an eye, and it took until the tail end of July for us to dot every 'i' and cross every 't'.

"Ah, finally!" Angie exclaimed by my side as our little group stood in front of the big portal leading out of the Abyss. "I can't believe we got stuck here for so long! Summer break is almost over, and we haven't done anything summer-break-y yet!"

Josh, standing by her side as usual, muttered a quiet, "I wish all our problems were that serious," yet somehow she still overheard him.

"Boo! It is a serious problem! It's our very last summer break!"

The fact that she could hear him over the background noise was almost impressive, considering we were standing in the middle of New Surratu Square. The freshly paved circular plaza took up roughly the same spot where Crowy's craters used to be. It was completely impeccable and flat as a pancake, with the remains of the old Castle Shamash already deconstructed, to be rebuilt at a different spot.

The Mana Well was nowhere to be seen, which was to be expected. It used to be underground, so the square was built on top of it, and now it had to be accessed by a secure tunnel starting from the construction site of the future Castle Shamash. And all of it was done in a matter of weeks. Give a sufficient number of sufficiently motivated Fauns sufficient resources, and watch the magic happen.

Sidenote: this, and all the other projects they've been involved in lately, made my impression of them being a Proud Construction Crew before they became a Proud Warrior Race all the more credible. Anyhow, the point was that we were standing in more or less the middle of the new plaza, surrounded by a capital-C crowd.

Not just hundreds, but literal thousands of people, Abyssal and Celestial and Draconians alike, held at a respectable distance by our security detail and lots of cordons, both the mundane and the magical variety. It kept the onlookers at bay, but not their voices, and in the noise, I could barely hear my thoughts at times.

"B-But, you know, we did a lot of camping!" Penny chimed in, picking up the thread of the conversation where Angie left it hanging. "That counts, doesn't it?"

The Celestial girl uttered an uncertain, "Maybe…" in response, and my other sister also tried to give her five cents.

"Also… um… technically speaking, we… I mean, you visited a foreign nation, in a sense, so…"

"Neige isn't wrong," the class rep chimed in on my other side. "The Abyss technically counts as its own country, and we did engage in cultural exchange as well."

"If you put it like that…" For a moment, Angie looked like she was going to accept that, but then she vehemently shook her head. "No, that still doesn't count! First, it was a rescue operation, then we were fighting, and then we had to sign papers and stuff! It wasn't a proper vacation; it's a business trip! It's not the same!"

"Ease up, silly-hedgehog," Josh cut in and put a hand on top of her head. "We still have almost a month of summer vacation left. Plenty of time."

"You're right, but…" Her eyes abruptly opened wide, and she ducked out from under his palm. "Wait, why hedgehog? Did my hair get frizzy again? I swear, I combed it properly this morning!"

Meanwhile, Judy tugged on my sleeve, and I turned to face her. She, Elly, and Ollie were sticking close to me, as if afraid to get lost in the crowd. Not the capital-C one, but all the dignitaries and nobles and whatnot who came to see us off in an official capacity, plus the mandatory security detail.

"Should we have another beach episode?" she asked, and while her tone didn't betray her excitement, the way she (and especially the princess) looked at me spoke otherwise.

"Technically speaking, since the scenario's over, it wouldn't be a beach episode, only a regular trip." I let that hang in the air for a moment, then amended, "But yeah, we could have another one. I had my eyes on a couple of really nice beach-front properties here in the Abyss."

A small part of me was still somewhat alienated by the idea, thinking that we already 'blew our load' with the beach trip in Elysium and doing it a second time would be repetitive, but that was probably just habit speaking. I spent the last year steeped in tropes and analysing everything in narrative terms, so it would probably take some time to unlearn all that.

More importantly, I noticed that Jaakobah was signalling to me from the direction of the Gateway, meaning we were in the clear. Honestly, all of this spectacle and ceremony was tiresome, but I promised Roland not to leave the Abyss on my own until everything stabilised and we've gotten an interim government in place, so I had to play along. Thankfully, at least I managed to get us out of giving a speech before we left. That took some effort, but none of us was in the mood for that. I just wanted to get home, put my feet up, and have a proper rest for once, and I was pretty sure everyone else shared my sentiment.

As such, we collectively marched over to the portal, listened to the security debriefing, and while that was going on, I decided to turn around and take one last good look at the Abyss.

That… might've been a bad idea, as it only made me slightly irritated. Why? Well, at the far end of the square, there was a semi-circular colonnade, with four prominent statues framed by the ancient Greek-style columns. From left to right, we had a generic Abyssal, a Magi, a Draconian, and a Celestial, each fully geared and transformed (where applicable) like they were preparing to take on an enemy. They weren't made in anyone's image, and were supposed to represent the supernatural races/factions in general.

However, the centrepiece was another story entirely.

Towering over the colonnade, standing on a tall stele in the middle, three bronze figures stood back-to-back. A Celestial with four pairs of wings nocking an arrow, an armoured knight wielding a sword and a spear, and finally an Abyssal with a shield and a sword raised over his head and pointed at the sky. Needless to say, those were supposed to be me, Deus, and Josh. It was tacky as all hell, but if there was a silver lining, it was that Josh's statue was the most prominent one when the whole composition was viewed head-on. Of course, that just drew attention to the fact that, since his black sword was destroyed in the battle and thus the artist had no reference, his metallic facsimile was holding an oversized, jagged monstrosity right out of some old MMO raid's drop table.

In other words, despite my best efforts, I couldn't stop them from giving me a statue. Oh well. It could've been worse.

"Leo! Hurry up, we're leaving!" Elly called out to me, shaking me out of my thoughts, and I hurriedly turned on my heel. Then, seeing they were all waving at the crowd behind us, I resigned myself to do so as well, and once our departure was at hand, we finally left the Abyss amidst thunderous cheers.

I made sure to keep my eyes closed until we reached the other end of the tunnel. I learned from the last time, so no magical flash-banging for me. Yes, when I opened my eyes on the other side, I was still a bit stumped and had to blink a couple of times.

"Welcome, Blackcloak."

The one greeting us on the other side was Brang, probably in charge of the security on the Critias end of the gateway, and behind him a smaller but by no means less excited crowd filling the large hall. In fact…

"Holy cow…" I muttered as I looked up.

So, for the record: we had a portalport in the underground base. To ensure fast mobilisation, I cooperated with Roland and even did some very subtle retcon-tweakery, so when the class rep opened the gateway, it would lead straight here. Except, the portal was pretty damn huge, meaning…

"Ah, surprised?" Brang asked with a toothy grin. "Large gate. Cut into ceiling."

At this point, another Faun chimed in, namely Pip, his wolfish ears twitching as he cheekily told us, "Not pleasing to eyes. Had to do remodeling."

"I can see that," Josh noted on the side, and nobody argued.

The portalport area was expanded to about double the original diameter and three times the height. I was sure there had to be some magical engineering going on here to keep the whole place from collapsing, but then I noticed something else, this time closer to the ground.

"Are those reliefs on the wall?"

It wasn't just one or two, but a whole ribbon of them, depicting battles and people with stylised, epic gravitas. There was someone fighting a Chimera, and then someone with a bunch of Fauns kneeling in front of them, then the same person with stereotypical ninjas and… Wait a minute…

"Aye," Brand spoke with thinly disguised pride. "History in stone."

"Aesthetically pleasing," Pip added, also sounding smug, and… yeah. That settled it.

The Fauns were absolutely a Proud Construction Crew race, and nobody could convince me otherwise.

Anyhow, once the gang was done gawking, we all headed to the main hall (which now felt oddly small, compared to the portalport), and then finally outside, where Josh had something to say.

"Goddamit."

"What?" I asked, glancing around to find the source of his displeasure. "Is there a problem?"

"Yeah." He pointed up, and when I still didn't get it, he let out an exasperated sigh and explained, "The sky, man. The red one in the Abyss felt so weird for so long, but then I got used to it, and now that we're back, the blue one feels weird!"

There was a long beat of silence, but then his girlfriend let out a giggle and playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"Oh, don't be a silly-hedgehog!"

"Wait, why am I the silly-hedgehog now?"

Ignoring the childhood friend couple's usual antics, I turned to my girlfriends and said, "We're leaving first. Any objections?"

Judy responded with a curt, "None," and sidled up to me, and she was hurriedly followed by the princess and, yes, Ollie as well. More on that later.

"W-Wait, Brother! What about us!" Penny stopped me just as I finished putting my phantom limbs around the girls, so I stopped and took out my wallet.

"Right. Here." I handed her a hundred-Jen bill. "Go and have some ice cream on the way home. My treat."

"That wasn't what I…!" Penny started, but then once she took the money, her tune immediately changed as she turned to my other sister. "On second thought, let's have some cake too!"

"Did someone say 'cake'?" Angie butted into the conversation by literally poking her head between the two, and while they were busy with that, I finished wrapping up my group and, after saying one last goodbye, we immediately reappeared inside my home.

"Ah! Let's open a window!" Elly spoke the moment we arrived. "Did Sir Arnwald and Lady Morgana not air the house at all while we were gone?"

"I don't know, don't ask me."

While my girlfriends were busy with housekeeping, Ollie was completely in awe.

"Wow! How did we get here so fast? Ah, what's that?"

And of course, the first thing he noticed in the whole living room was Penny's game console under the television. Kids be kids, am I right?

Anyhow, while the boy explored my home, I said my greetings to Pudding-kun (currently disguised as an ornamental vase on the kitchen counter), took Cal and Teeny out of storage and placed them on their usual racks in my room, checked my e-mails on the PC, and then… it was finally time.

I glanced at the clock. The time has finally come. The time to face the final boss. The last challenge. The true endgame, if you will. There was no turning back now, and—

"Someone's at the door!" Elly called out from downstairs, and I hurriedly called out to her.

"I'll be right there!"

Exhaling hard, I rushed down the stairs, passed by the slightly confused Ollie, came to a stop in the entryway, and, after steeling my nerves, I finally turned the doorknob in front of me. And then, on the other side of the door…

"Leonard? Care to explain yourself?"

… Judy's parents, with her dad looking especially miffed. Oh dear. This might be my greatest challenge yet.

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