Chapter 34: Chapter 34: A Very Bad Idea
Cassian stared at her.
Marian smiled.
Neither moved.
The corridor suddenly felt much too narrow.
Much too quiet.
Much too aware.
Finally Cassian spoke.
"No."
Marian blinked.
"I haven’t said anything."
"You were about to."
"That’s hardly fair."
"It is when I already know the answer."
The audacity.
Marian folded her arms.
"You don’t even know what I was going to say."
"I do."
"You don’t."
"I do."
The infuriating man.
For a moment they simply glared at each other.
Then, to Marian’s irritation, Cassian won.
Mostly because he looked entirely too amused.
A deeply unfair advantage.
"Fine."
The word came out sharper than intended.
"What if—"
"No."
Marian stared.
"You don’t even know what the question was."
"I know enough."
The corner of his mouth twitched.
"Whatever follows those words is going to be a disaster."
The worst part?
He was probably right.
Marian hated that.
Deeply.
"You’re very dramatic."
"I’m realistic."
Silence.
Then Marian sighed.
Because circling the conversation wasn’t helping.
And because she was tired.
Very tired.
Not physically.
Emotionally.
The worst kind.
"What if," she said slowly, "someone needs a reminder?"
Cassian immediately looked suspicious.
"A reminder of what?"
"That not everything waits forever."
The amusement vanished.
Immediately.
For several moments he simply watched her.
The corridor felt strangely still.
Then:
"Marian."
She hated it when he used that tone.
The reasonable tone.
The one that suggested he was about to make an excellent point she didn’t want to hear.
"You are hurt."
The words landed gently.
Which somehow made them worse.
"You are angry."
Another pause.
"And you’re trying very hard to convince yourself those are the same thing."
Silence.
Because she couldn’t immediately argue.
Which was infuriating.
Cassian noticed.
Unfortunately.
"That wasn’t a denial."
Marian glared.
"You’re impossible."
"I’ve heard that."
Several times.
Usually from her.
The realization should not have felt as familiar as it did.
For one strange moment, Marian remembered the lake.
The leaves.
His ridiculous patience.
The way he’d simply sat beside her while she cried.
No advice.
No lectures.
No attempts to fix her.
Just presence.
The memory softened something inside her.
Dangerous.
Very dangerous.
Marian looked away.
Immediately.
Because that train of thought was headed somewhere inappropriate.
And she had enough problems.
"You’re avoiding the question."
Cassian laughed.
Actually laughed.
A low sound.
Brief.
Entirely too pleasant.
"I noticed."
The audacity.
Marian narrowed her eyes.
Then something occurred to her.
A truly terrible thought.
The sort that should have remained unspoken.
Naturally, she said it anyway.
"What are you so afraid of?"
Silence.
Complete silence.
Cassian froze.
Not visibly.
Not enough for most people to notice.
Enough for Marian.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
For the first time since the conversation began, he looked away first.
Toward one of the windows.
Toward literally anything else.
When he finally spoke, his voice sounded different.
Careful.
"I have excellent instincts."
Marian stared.
Then laughed.
A real laugh.
Warm.
Unexpected.
"That’s not an answer."
"It is the only answer you’re getting."
The laughter faded.
The moment remained.
Small.
Quiet.
Dangerously comfortable.
Neither seemed eager to leave.
Which was perhaps the most alarming thing of all.
Then footsteps echoed from the far end of the corridor.
Both turned instinctively.
A servant.
Nothing important.
Yet somehow the interruption shattered something.
The awareness.
The intimacy.
Whatever it had been.
Cassian stepped back first.
A deliberate movement.
A necessary one.
The distance felt noticeable immediately.
His expression returned to normal.
Polite.
Controlled.
Safe.
"Lady Marian."
Formal again.
The change irritated her.
More than it should have.
Then he inclined his head.
And left.
Just like that.
Marian watched him disappear around the corner.
For several seconds she remained where she was.
Thinking.
The dangerous thought returned immediately.
Persistent thing.
Perhaps Cassian was right.
Perhaps she was angry.
Perhaps she was hurt.
Perhaps she was both.
None of that changed the problem.
Adrian still assumed she would be there.
Always.
Waiting.
Understanding.
Forgiving.
The realization settled heavily inside her.
Then another realization followed.
Smaller.
Sharper.
More dangerous.
Cassian had never actually said no to the idea itself.
Not really.
He had only said it was a bad idea.
Marian smiled.
Slowly.
A terrible smile.
Because those were not the same thing at all.
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