Sunset (20)

"I didn't realize it, but I guess I was looking down on that kid as if it were only natural."

Seraphina said.

She stopped laughing, got up from her seat, and picked up a liquor bottle that had been placed on one side of the room.

It was the one Levina had left behind.

She calmly poured the liquor into her own teacup.

The golden liquid filled the transparent glass.

And she approached me.

There was still about half the coffee left in my coffee cup, but she poured the liquor over it.

"Back when you used to insult commoners and talk down about Kyle, I used to scold you, but I wasn't much different myself."

Seraphina sat back down in her seat and took a gulp of the liquor.

Her face held no expression at all.

"Still, you know. No matter how much I think about it, for me, love is more important than friendship.

In that sense, Kyle has... become someone I shouldn't get close to."

"......What do you mean by that?"

Seraphina let out a small laugh.

Her eyes turned toward me.

"You know what I'm saying, don't you?"

I know it very well.

So much so that I wish I hadn't understood every word Seraphina said, so I could pretend not to.

I've become perfectly able to describe the feelings I've felt whenever I saw Kyle until now.

If I just revealed that Kyle is a woman, I'd rather blurt it out in front of Seraphina right now, just so I could simply deny that I'm a crazy homosexual like the rumors Levina started.

But I really didn't want to accept it.

Not because I'm a crazy homosexual, but because the person who might be the first friend I've ever made was, in fact, someone who could never even be a friend.

Even though she was full of secrets, even when she showed me that flustered, foolish side, I tried my best to look away and not see.

Even when she had such a unique hobby as sewing.

Even when her muscles were not just soft but tender.

Even when her skin, even from the slightest touch, felt somehow like silk.

And when she smiled brightly at me, my heart pounded without me even realizing it.

Honestly, I had vaguely thought that might be the case too.

If so, did the past me, the relatively normal me, know?

It seems I always had Kyle by my side.

But I don't think I loved Kyle.

After Seraphina died, I probably didn't have enough room in my heart to love anyone else.

Still, it's a bit sad.

Because I thought she was a friend.

The first friend I could get along with.

I must have firmly believed, on my own, that even if I couldn't open my heart completely, we could become a comfortable presence for each other.

Should I keep pretending not to know and live on, or should I reveal everything and find our own kind of distance?

"You were clinging to her so much, there's no way you couldn't have known. You're not an idiot."

Seraphina said.

"I wanted to keep not knowing, if possible."

"Why... Are you going to pretend not to know about Kyle too, like you did with your sister, and then jump her?"

"My sister is......"

"Judging by her expression when she's next to you, it seems like she'd accept anything if you just met her eyes and pushed her a bit."

I tried to answer something, but then closed my mouth.

Seraphina poured liquor into her glass again and drank it down.

I also drank the liquor mixed with coffee.

It wasn't particularly tasty.

It wasn't a very good combination, after all.

I stared at the empty glass, then sighed and sat down across from Seraphina.

And looking at Seraphina, I tried to say something, but eventually brought up a different topic.

"Kyle is just... a friend. And I'll continue to think of her that way."

"A friend? What kind of friend grabs the back of your shirt, blushes, and follows your footsteps, looking at you with those eyes?"

"I don't know. It's my first time."

"Ah, right. You didn't have any friends. That's right. Uh, um. Sorry."

Seraphina fidgeted her fingers and then spoke quietly.

"Still, the way she looked at you wasn't ordinary."

"Since when?"

"What?"

"I'm asking when you knew Kyle was a woman."

"......Two years, no, three years ago?"

"Almost from the very beginning, then."

My mouth felt dry, and I thought about filling the room with smoke, but then I remembered Seraphina was in front of me and decided to restrain myself.

"Do you remember how I used to hate it when you were next to Kyle?"

Seraphina pressed her lips tight and then nodded.

"You could have told me. If I'd known she was a girl, I wouldn't have been jealous."

"......Were you jealous?"

"I thought I was making it pretty obvious."

".......I had no idea."

"It's my fault for not saying anything."

"...No, it's just. I wanted only me to be in your life.

I didn't want to add even a single person.

I wanted to graduate, get married, have children, and live happily with you, and only you, without any trouble.

I think I just hoped that no one would ever get attached to you."

"And yet the engagement almost got called off."

"......I know. Somehow, why."

Seraphina poured liquor into her glass, drank it slowly, then, as if it didn't taste good, downed it, shook her head, and spoke slowly.

"I'm sorry. I came to apologize today, I came to make up, but I keep saying harsh things. I'm sorry."

"No, I also..."

As I trailed off, Seraphina spoke first.

"Why does it always end up like this? Nothing has ever gone my way. From when I was little until now."

"Same here."

"But there's always another woman by your side. Whoever it is, always, not even the same person, always someone different. While you won't even hold me."

Seraphina sitting here.

The Seraphina who used to hurl abuse at me.

The Seraphina who begged me, and said she couldn't break off the engagement because she loved me, they overlapped.

When I rubbed my eyes, only Seraphina, her face slightly flushed from the alcohol, was visible.

"Lavin, I was thrown out of the family.

It's practically the same as me leaving on my own, but I did it to marry you no matter what.

Even if I have to turn my back on everyone around me, friends, family, I want to be with you. I want only you."

Her voice was trembling slightly.

"But you're never alone."

"Nothing ever happened with Kyle. I only found out she was a woman today."

"Then hold me. Like you did with your sister."

"......How does that even follow?"

"It's just lucky that nothing happened with Kyle yet.

They say you shouldn't expect anything in return for love, but I want an answer."

"What answer?"

Even though I knew what she was going to say, I asked anyway.

"Do you love me?"

"I've always said I love you more than anyone."

"I know. But I wish you would love only me.

Every time I'm rejected, it feels like a piece of my heart is being shaved away."

Seraphina spoke calmly.

After that, we didn't say anything.

Only silence flowed in the room.

The bottle was almost empty, and so were our glasses.

We sat facing each other, holding empty glasses in our hands.

The smell of coffee mixed with liquor lingered faintly over the table.

A faint shadow hung over Seraphina's face.

Her blue eyes looked especially deep in the darkness.

As if she was about to say something, her lips moved slightly several times.

But no sound came out.

I was the same.

Something was stuck in my throat.

We just sat there.

So blankly that I couldn't even tell how time was passing.

I looked down at the empty glass in my hand.

A few drops of liquid left at the bottom of the glass caught the light and sparkled faintly.

Seraphina was also looking at her own glass.

Her fingers slowly traced the rim of the glass.

A very tiny sound was made, but in this silence, even that sound was clearly audible.

Our eyes met in the air again.

Again, no words.

We just looked at each other.

Seraphina stared at my face for a long time, then let out a small laugh.

And she gathered magic into the glass she was holding in her hand, then shattered it just like that.

But the glass didn't burst outward; it maintained its shape.

Seraphina touched the broken shards and then opened her mouth.

"Lavin, I've been thinking hard."

The glass fragments under Seraphina's hand crumbled into dust.

"When you said to proceed with the breaking off, I was quiet. Then suddenly I lost my temper, smashed the mansion that was doing fine, burned down the wheat field, and even punched my father in the jaw. But now, what right do I have to draw lines?"

She stood up, came close to me, and spread both arms.

Then she smiled and tilted her head.

I awkwardly stood up and hugged Seraphina.

She hugged me tightly and began to whisper in my ear.

"Marry me right after graduation. We can have children later, I'll let that slide. Hold me tight once a day and tell me you love me. If the time you spend with me overlaps with the time you spend with other women, put me first. No matter what Kyle wants from you, no matter what that heretic who got beaten a few times and turned sane says to you, no matter what the Saintess shows you, no matter what that crazy woman Levina wants to do with you, put me first. Things have changed a bit now, but the core won't change, will it? You're an indecisive, trashy, good person who loves the people who love you. The reason you love me the most is because I was the first to love you. I only have you, but you don't have only me. So, I have no choice but to do this. Even if I tell you to love only me, if there's someone who loves you, you'll love them back, right?"

Some of her words sounded a bit slurred.

Seraphina hugged me tighter.

"So, what if I kill Levina, the Saintess, the people of the Edelgard family who tormented you, Kyle, Lineta... all of them? Then there would be no one else to love you but me."

"......Would I still love you even if things went that far?

"Yeah."

Seraphina answered as if it were only natural.

And then, I recalled that Seraphina was fully capable of doing such a thing.

Her willpower aside, her ability was certainly there.

"So tell me I'm the most precious."

"...You're the most precious."

"Tell me you love me the most."

"......I love you the most."

"Are you happy with me? No, say you're happy."

"I'm happy with you."

"Do you mean it?"

"......Yeah."

Hearing my answer, Seraphina pulled back slightly, smiled, and then kissed me directly.

For a long time, just our lips pressed together, we didn't separate.

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you."

"You just have to listen to me. You should have been like this from the beginning."

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!

Report chapter

Use arrow keys (or A / D) to PREV/NEXT chapter