The Wolf God's Unwanted Luna

Vivian’s POV

It started with me throwing up.

I had not eaten much that morning, but it didn’t matter everything I swallowed came right back up. I hate vomiting, mostly because once I start, I can’t seem to stop. This time was no different. By lunchtime, my stomach was completely empty, yet it clenched and twisted as if trying to force out every last drop of whatever little I had swallowed, even the water I tried to drink.

When the worst of it passed, I was left trembling and drenched in cold sweat. Lying on the bed only made things worse the usually soft silk sheets felt like coarse sandpaper against my skin. So, I moved to the cold floor and curled into myself, resting my head between my knees, desperate for relief. If I had slept with Zaliver recently, I might have joked I was pregnant given how much I was throwing up.

At least my sense of humor was still intact. That was, until the voice returned. She was back loud and relentless. Her voice rang clear and sharp inside my head, piercing through the fog of my thoughts.

"Missed me?" she purred, her voice dripping with mockery.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, desperate to drown her out. But I was too weak to block her. Her presence was unmistakable looming over my mind like a shadow, pushing my wolf deep into the background. Though blurred by the haze, I could make out her silhouette crouched there, head cocked to the side, watching me with cold amusement.

I brought my hands up, clutching my head as if I could physically shut her out. My fingers trembled, pulling at my hair in frustration.

"You know, it is really not fair how mean you are to me. After everything I have done for you," she said, her voice dripping with false sweetness.

"You’ve done nothing," I snapped through clenched teeth, her words bouncing cruelly inside my skull.

"Oh really? Then who gave you the strength and speed when you needed it most? Who gave you the guts to plan your revenge with cold precision? That was me. I am you!" she hissed, mocking me.

"You are not me!" I screamed, rage and fear bubbling over. The voice was trying to shatter my sanity.

"No, but you fear the beast, so you fear me. I am "

"SHUT UP!" I growled, cutting her off.

"I will not be silenced now that I have a voice. You will learn to accept me eventually. You’ll see," she said, cold and sure.

For what felt like five endless minutes, I struggled to ignore her, but she refused to fade. She pushed forward relentlessly, occupying every corner of my mind.

My wolf was lost beneath the beast’s heavy presence. My body trembled with aftershocks I couldn’t control. I was freezing cold, my bones aching deep in their marrow. When I tried to stand, it felt like my feet were filled with thousands of burning needles. I could see my legs, but they moved as if they belonged to someone else unfamiliar and uncooperative. My stomach twisted with every shift, tightening painfully. My lips and throat were dry and cracked. I lowered my forehead to the cool floor, desperate to steady myself, to find any anchor.

But my heart had already broken free, racing faster than I could keep pace with.

I thrashed wildly on the ground, my body convulsing completely beyond my control. My eyes rolled back until darkness swallowed my vision. My fingers scrambled to grab something anything but there was nothing near me. Still, I kept clawing frantically at the empty air, desperate to hold on.

Panic slammed into me all at once: fear, dread, shock, and a crushing loneliness I couldn’t escape. Was I dying? It sure felt like it. I didn’t want to die alone. My mind spiraled, thoughts scattered and confused. Each pounding heartbeat jolted through me like electric shocks, twisting violently inside my chest.

Zaliver! I screamed silently, clinging to his name like a lifeline.

My skin burned and chilled at the same time fire and ice raging through my veins. Every uncontrollable twitch felt like rolling on knives and needles, pain slicing through me. Then, a familiar but painful touch pressed against me. No. I couldn’t bear it.

It was as if every nerve, every cell, every beat of my heart was caught between burning flames and frozen ice, dragging me to the edge. I could feel the touch, but it stung like everything else around me and on me. I tried to stop my flickering eyes, but my body wouldn’t listen. Something else was controlling me. I was powerless. Weak.

No, don’t touch me. Please. I’m suffocating. Don’t touch me! Zaliver? Where are you?!

"No! Get off! You hurt! You all hurt!" I heard my own pained voice scream.

I felt myself moving, the air around me shifting confining, yet somehow freeing. Cold wrapped around me, and the ground beneath was icy. I lay flat on my back, the deep smell of rich earth grounding me amid the chaos. The painful touch moved away. My eyes closed tight as my fingers dug into the damp dirt, gripping whatever I could.

I gasped for air, realizing fat raindrops were hitting my bare skin, cooling the fire burning inside. The cold stung, but I didn’t care. I would rather freeze than be consumed by the internal flames.

An intense tingling spread through me, strongest at my lower back. I forced my heavy eyes open and squinted up at the stormy gray sky. Angry clouds loomed overhead, their dark shadows cast down on me. I turned my head slightly to shield my face from the driving, cold rain.

Beside me, a dark figure appeared a pale face framed by shadows. But it was his eyes that caught me: electric blue, sharp and glowing, like lightning cutting through the darkness.

A dark, beautiful angel with a sadness that reached deep into my soul.

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