There Must Be Something Wrong With This Game!

She wore a white outfit resembling an evening gown, though it was mostly torn, revealing ghastly pale, inhuman-looking skin beneath.

Despite it being nighttime, she wore a large, wide-brimmed sun hat. It hid everything but a mouth painted bright red, which continuously emitted a "PO... PO..." sound, somewhere between a laugh and a cry.

What was most striking, however, was her height.

She was nearly two and a half meters tall. Her massive frame reminded Duan Fei of many horror legends, finally settling on...

The name was on the tip of his tongue, but a wave of confusion suddenly washed over Duan Fei. The next moment, a two-and-a-half-meter-tall woman seemed perfectly normal.

’Thinking it over, there’s nothing strange about a woman being out this late,’ he thought. ’After all, all the NPCs in Love City are women.’

’She’s wearing a white gown, so she probably just left a party. Then she must have tripped and fallen on her way, which is why her clothes are torn.’

’And the "po po" sound... she’s probably mute and that’s her only way to call for help. How pitiful.’

Just as he was about to ask if she needed help, Duan Fei suddenly remembered something and pulled Jinghong’s photo from his pocket.

Staring at the photo for a moment, a piece of common knowledge suddenly surfaced in Duan Fei’s mind.

It was virtually impossible for a normal woman to be two and a half meters tall.

This piece of common sense acted like an iron anchor. It grounded him in reality while simultaneously wrapping around him, yanking his scattered mind back into focus. He was struck by the realization that this was no normal woman, but a Pseudo-man.

Love City was filled with Shadow Energy, and this Shadow Energy could create Pseudo-men based on human consciousness. That meant the Lord Hasshaku before him was also a Pseudo-man.

Without a second’s hesitation, Duan Fei spun around and sprinted toward the villa.

Lone Ranger had said he was fighting the Ghost inside, but Duan Fei figured staying put was a surefire way to die even faster.

But before he could even make it inside, he heard the "PO PO" sound getting closer and closer.

He glanced back and saw Lord Hasshaku closing in on him at near-teleportation speed. Her ghastly white face should have been terrifying, but because Duan Fei’s Spirit Attribute was so high, he actually found the sight... invigorating.

’But danger is danger, and a Ghost is a Ghost,’ he thought. ’That doesn’t change just because she’s easy on the eyes.’

Just as he was about to activate his [Spiritual Armor], he saw her arms suddenly stretch out, wrapping around him like ropes and pulling him forcefully into her embrace.

The sense of confusion washed over him again.

He fought to look at Jinghong’s photo, but the creature had already pinned his arms. Then, it opened its gaping maw and lunged for his neck.

「Half an hour later.」

Covered in wounds, Lone Ranger walked out of the villa, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth.

The Ghost in the villa had been absurdly powerful, just as you’d expect from a being of potent Shadow Energy.

’But in Love City, a creature like that is only mid-tier,’ he thought. ’Far more powerful Ghosts are all over the place, ones that even I can’t easily defeat.’

’I definitely lowballed my fee.’

"Duan Fei, get over here and heal me! Then we can go turn in the quest and get our EXP. Duan Fei?"

"Don’t bother me, I’m talking to my lady friend."

"Lady friend? Since when do you have a lady friend?"

"Just made one."

"...I have a terrible joke in mind, but I’ll spare you for now. Not that you need me to spell it out. Wait... what are you with?"

Duan Fei was in the shadows, sitting on a roadside bench with a tall, white figure.

Even seated, the figure was slightly taller than Duan Fei.

It wore a white gown covered in filth. The skin beneath was unnervingly pale, and its face was a complete mosaic of pixels.

As a Shadow Assassin who needed to control Shadow Energy, Lone Ranger’s own Spirit Attribute wasn’t low.

But unlike Duan Fei, whose high Spirit acted like an automatic beauty filter, Lone Ranger’s way of coping with terror was to perceive things as pixelated.

Even as a block of pixels, he could feel the terrifying, oppressive aura emanating from it. This meant the creature was likely one of the few powerful Ghosts in the city.

But... why...

...was the Ghost’s head sprouting bubbles?!

Pink bubbles streamed out endlessly, forming a heart-shaped pink bridge that drifted steadily toward a distant tower.

The staff around the tower also witnessed this bizarre spectacle. Many were speculating about who could be producing such powerful Romantic Energy, as it had already reached one-tenth of the tower’s daily total.

And Lone Ranger knew: the source was right here!

The terrifying creature was nuzzling Duan Fei’s shoulder like a puppy. But because of the game’s 15+ age rating, it was prevented from making any more intimate moves, which only caused the pink bubbles to multiply.

You always want what you can’t have.

Right now, Duan Fei was the cookie Lord Hasshaku could never have, the little dress in the shop window she could never wear, the lewd indie game that had been delisted from the Steam platform. This only deepened her affection for him, and the bubbles above her head grew even more numerous.

Lone Ranger was speechless.

’I was in there fighting for my life, nearly died, and you’re out here messing around!’

’Thank god this game is rated 15+ and even taking a piss is pixelated, otherwise, you two would be going all the way!’

’Cuddling today... I don’t even want to imagine what you’ll be doing tomorrow! Are you guys gonna do it?!’

Lone Ranger’s mind was in chaos, but his linguistic skills had been greatly enhanced by the crisis. A torrent of complaints erupted from his mouth, much to Duan Fei’s surprise.

"Lone Ranger, I never knew you were so repressed!"

"Is that the point?! Is that the damn point?! Your ability to grasp the main issue can only be described as tragic!"

"Ah, so you’re a fellow man of culture."

"Culture?! Screw you! Listen here, Duan Fei! Screw you!"

Duan Fei could understand why Lone Ranger was so agitated.

It was late at night, and watching another player chat with a ghost about the stars, the moon, poetry, and faraway places was, admittedly, a little terrifying.

But this was his Talent; there was nothing he could do about it.

When Lord Hasshaku had grabbed him, Duan Fei had thought he was dead for sure and was prepared for his day to end early.

While he didn’t have to worry about dropping Equipment, the penalty for player death was being stuck in a black room for an hour. Some Skills could reduce this time, and the penalty timer would still count down even if you logged off.

Since the death penalty wasn’t severe, Duan Fei wasn’t too bothered by the thought of dying. Worst case, he’d wait an hour and then get back to it.

But he waited and waited, and the death he expected never came. Instead, Lord Hasshaku just held him in a death grip, and a flood of hearts started appearing above her head.

Seeing this, Duan Fei thought for a moment and mentally deduced his Talent Effect for this particular instance.

"Greatly increases your favorability with Pseudo-men of the Ghost and Urban Legend types."

As the words describing the Talent Effect materialized before him, Duan Fei sighed.

’Sigh,’ he thought. ’This irresistible charm of mine...’

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