[GONG SEONGHWA’S POV]
“Manager-nim, please speed up a little.”
“…I’m going as fast as I can, but we’re stuck in traffic. What can I do, haha…….”
“Haa, I asked you not to schedule anything while I’m filming Legendary Singer, didn’t I? I hate performing on stage like this, when I can barely participate in practice.”
“I’m sorry, Seonghwa-ssi. The company forced the schedule, so there was nothing I could do.”
I was extremely stressed out at this moment. There were three reasons for this. The first was that despite Raize proudly taking first place in the first round of Legendary Singer, it was ultimately impossible to satisfy Prism-sunbaenims. The second was that, due to my schedule, I had to miss the mid-term evaluation and could only now head to the practice room. The third was…….
‘Han Seungbeom…….’
Something, something felt off.
I felt that Prism-sunbaenims were strangely fond of Han Seungbeom.
I put a moderate amount of pressure to keep the survival show aspect alive and to sort out the atmosphere among the cast, but that Yoo Jay-sunbaenim stepped in to stop me. Normally, he wouldn’t care at all about whatever fights his juniors had among themselves.
Jay-sunbaenim always maintained a friendly and likable image in front of the public, but in person, he never felt approachable at all. I guess you could say there was an extreme gap between his real personality and his on-screen persona.
He wasn’t like Seo Yutae-sunbaenim, who had a naturally cold impression from the start, but watching his gaze grow colder and colder every time someone crossed the line naturally made me break out in a cold sweat.
“Our Seonghwa has grown a lot. Now he’s even taking on the role of a senior to the juniors…….”
I never expected Jay-sunbaenim to openly show his displeasure toward me, so honestly, I got scared.
How many people had crossed the line in front of Yoo Jay-sunbaenim and disappeared without a trace? For me, who knew of their existence, there was no situation more horrifying than this.
‘Our Seonghwa!’
Even in the midst of that, I instinctively clenched my fist at the unfamiliar yet friendly way he addressed me, but I soon found myself frustrated.
‘What on earth is so special about Han Seungbeom…….’
Until now, Jay-sunbaenim had never gone out of his way to protect anyone besides the Prism members. So I couldn’t understand why someone like him was suddenly interfering for a junior who had no connection to him.
‘Because of their connection from Survive IDOL?’
Just how many trainees do you think were even on that show? As far as I knew, none of the trainees who appeared on that show had maintained a friendship with Jay-sunbaenim or exchanged contact information with him afterward. Was he just pretending to care in front of the cameras to build the image of a kind senior?
‘He did seem to pay unusually close attention to Han Seungbeom on that show too …….’
I remember he personally stepped in to stop Frick, whom everyone was distancing themselves from, saying, “He’s bound to cause trouble soon“. He even helped resolve conflicts among the trainees. That was something the Jay-sunbaenim I knew would never have done.
If it had stopped there, I would have just assumed he had taken a liking to a new junior and moved on. But the way they made him do aegyo during the introduction meeting and then giggled among themselves was a complete character analysis failure.
I clenched my fists tightly, shut my eyes, and screamed internally.
‘…You don’t like such, such cute stuff!’
People who averaged 186.2 cm in height and looked so cold that even talking to them felt difficult were melting over a junior’s meow-meow? There was something seriously wrong here.
‘Is it because Han Seungbeom is so pretty? His visual is kind of unreal.’
Have they been brainwashed by that adorable face?
These were people who had so little interest in juniors or seniority politics that they even stuck a huge sign on their waiting room door saying, ‘Not Accepting Junior Greetings‘1, and only ever stuck together like a wolf pack. Why on earth were they suddenly overflowing with love for a junior?
“Hello, sunbaenims! I’m Gong Seonghwa, the one who greeted you last time. Since you told us not to come to the waiting room, I came to the smoking area instead!”
“…….”
Even though I made such an effort to seek them out, they never even acknowledged me.
If that kind of affection could bloom so suddenly, I wish they would give me some too.
‘Ah, my true feelings slipped out.’
Anyway, is Han Seungbeom really worth that much attention from the sunbaenims?
When I thought about it, I decided the answer was no.
Honestly, the Han Seungbeom I encountered on Legendary Singer was completely below my expectations. It was absolutely not because of mere competitiveness or jealousy that I came to have such thoughts. Absolutely not.
The public and those who had actually worked with Han Seungbeom tended to overrate him. He was described using all sorts of grandiose titles, such as ‘Born-To-Be Center’, ‘Genius Idol’, or ‘The Rising Star who will succeed Seo Yutae and carry the future of the entertainment industry‘.
‘Hmph, what a joke.’
Han Seungbeom was undoubtedly the most talked-about idol at the moment. However, I didn’t think he deserved that level of praise and treatment.
To be honest, until not long ago, I also agreed with the public to some extent.
Looking at his performance on Survive IDOL and Pantheion’s activities so far, Han Seungbeom truly seemed like an exceptionally shining star. I was completely shocked when I found out that all of Pantheion’s activities, from composing to choreography, came from his hands.
But during the filming of Legendary Singer, I was disappointed.
Han Seungbeom was given the fewest parts in Pantheion, and even then, he seemed to just get through them without leaving much of an impression. He showed no interest in the center parts at all. In fact, it even looked like he was avoiding them.
“Do it in a way that makes you guys shine. I’m fine, so try everything you want to.”
Moreover, the producing he had hyped up so much was completely handed over to Nicholas, and the arrangements seemed to be handled by Baek Kiheon’s younger brother. Since the broadcast hasn’t aired yet, I wasn’t sure what was going on behind the scenes, but I was at a loss as to what he was actually doing. During Pantheion’s promotions, the other members were the ones criticized for not pulling their weight, but when I saw them in person, it was actually the other way around.
‘…He’s barely involved in the Legendary Singer stage, but he’s squeezing in time during breaks to work on Pantheion’s activities.’
Han Seungbeom lacked that sense of desperation and earnestness. Yeah, it was as if he were the one doing the evaluating, not the one being evaluated. I was putting my whole heart into this program, so I couldn’t tolerate that kind of attitude.
‘Does this program mean nothing more than a way to kill time for Han Seungbeom?’
The second round of competition was a position-based battle, where members from each group teamed up by position—main vocal, sub-vocal, main dancer, and rapper—and had to cover solo songs by Prism-sunbaenims.
In short, it was designed to expose the differences in skill levels between groups for each position.
Han Seungbeom and I were both in the center position, practically the face of an idol group, drawing the full attention of both the cast and production team. In that situation, if a group’s center were to lose to another group’s center, the group’s image would be directly hit.
Because of that, even I felt immense pressure, but Han Seungbeom didn’t show any signs of nervousness at all.
‘A mere 21-year-old making a face like he’s already seen it all…….’
Every time I made a mistake, I caught Han Seungbeom watching me with those ambiguously cold eyes, and I couldn’t help but feel frustrated.
At some point, whenever our eyes met, I found myself becoming self-conscious without even realizing it.
His gaze, as if seeing right through everything, perfectly embodied the phrase, “I have a lot to say, but I won’t say it“. It had gotten to the point where just making eye contact with Han Seungbeom made me start questioning what I had done wrong.
As I kept agonizing over it alone, I would always end up discovering a fatal mistake I hadn’t noticed before, which only frustrated me even more.
“…That’s actually a part I was already planning to fix!“
“Yes.”
“Don’t say anything. I’ll fix it!”
“Yes.”
When I hastily snapped at him while making corrections, Han Seungbeom just turned his back and walked away.
Did Han Seungbeom not know any answer other than “Yes“?
And did he not know how to make any expression other than a blank expression?
He was acting like an adult ignoring a young child’s whines, which just irritated me more. Of course, if he had answered back in an arrogant way, I wouldn’t have let that slide either.
‘…This just makes my desperation to win look ridiculous. Am I the only one who’s desperate?’
Be more desperate. Do whatever it takes to win, even if it means being selfish.
Han Seungbeom’s kindness, like putting off practicing his own parts and prioritizing my parts when I was finally able to attend practice because of my schedule, was even harder to understand.
‘His attitude seems to have changed in a weird way our conversation in the restroom that day. Is he thankful because I worried about him?’
No, it was really audacious of him, but I didn’t sense any gratitude at all. There must be another reason. But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out what that reason was.
“Seonghwa-ssi, we’ve arrived!”
“Thank you for your hard work. I’ll contact you once the practice is over.”
I quickly shook my head and hurriedly got out of the van, heading toward the practice room.
Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about those things. Until now, I hadn’t had the chance to properly check how the other members, especially Han Seungbeom, had prepared for the stage. I needed to find out as soon as possible what kind of evaluation Han Seungbeom had received from Jay-sunbaenim.
“Hello, sunbaenim!”
“Hello! Thank you for your hard work.”
“Hi, sorry I’m late.”
As soon as I hurried into the practice room, the other members who were taking a break greeted me. I responded to their greetings with a smile and immediately approached Han Seungbeom.
“Seungbeom-ssi, Jay-sunbaenim already gave his feedback, right?”
“Yes.”
“What did Jay-sunbaenim say to you, Seungbeom-ssi?”
It was a competition, after all, so everyone would understandably be reluctant to share information. However, it was also true that it was hard to dodge the question when a senior with a large seniority gap asked it so straightforwardly.
Come on, even a very small clue will do, so tell me.
As I pressed Han Seungbeom with such pressure, his expressionless face slowly turned toward me.
And then, a calm voice followed.
“He didn’t say anything.”
“…….”
Oh?
‘He didn’t say anything‘—what on earth was that supposed to mean?
For a moment, my mind went blank, and I looked around at the other members, but they only awkwardly avoided my gaze.
I started racking my brain again, desperately. Then, as I reached a conclusion, a tide of relief washed over me, and I held back the smile that unconsciously spread across my face.
‘Ah, so it was terrible?’
The evaluator was none other than Prism-sunbaenim. These were the same people who had harshly criticized Raize, even though we had delivered such a high-quality performance and received glowing reviews from the public based on just a short scene in the trailer.
There was no chance those people wouldn’t find something to criticize in a mere twenty-one-year-old’s performance. That meant it was likely the same case as Pantheion’s youngest member. Han Seungbeom must have realized it, too.
‘I’m sorry, but at this point, I need to properly crush his mentality.’
“Oh no, what are you going to do? At this rate, you might fall behind the other Pantheion members. Your group’s vocal line is seriously impressive.”
As I said that, drooping the ends of my eyebrows as if I were truly concerned, Han Seungbeom stared at my face for a moment before responding.
“…I hope that happens.”
He said it with a smile, as if he truly, genuinely wished for it to happen.
.
.
.
And then came the day of the second competition.
‘…Huh?’
In the middle of the performance, I was caught off guard.
[END OF GONG SEONGHWA’S POV]
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Translator’s Corner:
Prism is putting sign in front of their waiting room that they don’t accept junior greetings, so juniors don’t need to bother to line up to greet them (yes, you used to need to line up especially for the most respected seniors because everyone and their mother want to greet them, but it’s one group at a time situation). Greeting is a very important thing in Korea culture, so Prism is pretty unusual. Most groups with their level of fame and seniority will take offense (and rightfully so) if juniors didn’t greet them.
↩︎
If you asked if that’s important to do … well, yes. That’s the tradition, and basically just how manner works in Korea. They’re pretty serious about senior junior thing. You wouldn’t want to make an enemy out of your seniors. Although tbh, more and more old gen idols are saying the new gen idols are … impolite. I think a lot of veteran idols say juniors don’t do the waiting room greeting anymore, and even when they crossed paths with each other on hallway, the juniors didn’t even bother to bow to greet, only make eye contact. Crazy because you wouldn’t catch them do that in front of camera.
Either that, or they’re playing politics too much. I remember how Sejeong once basically said she was basically ignored by the juniors when she promoted as Gugudan, compared to when she was on I.O.I.
And about this visiting waiting room thing, there’s a controversy about it back in 2017 actually. SNSD made a comeback with Holiday Night. Hyoyeon uploaded a story saying thanking EXO for being the “only juniors who greeted them” (EXO was on their last promotion week at the time, I think). I remember the chaos because at that time, there were so many, SO MANY groups promoting at that time (pretty sure it’s Wanna One debut week too), and she outright spilled that only EXO (which at that time already daesang-winner seniors) greeted them …. the backlash was really crazy. I think GFRIEND got criticized the most (since they often said they looked up to SNSD since debut). And a day after that, the juniors all visiting SNSD with cakes …. so you can imagine just how severe the situation was.
(Even now I’m still dumbfounded because that’s not even a mid-popular group, that’s Korea’s National Girl Group???? I guess nugu groups just got openly ignored now then.)
Huh, but I was watching Seulgi on Hyoyeon’s show a few hours ago and she mentioned that among juniors, she was close with Winter (aespa), and Hyoyeon commented that she’s surprised with Winter because Winter always send texts like New Year wish etc …. now that I think about how the juniors nowadays are not following the “old manner standard” anymore, it suddenly makes sense to me why a lot of 3rd gen popular female idols are fond of Winter …
omg but that was a long rant, okay go back to the chapter….
Seonghwa-ya … Prism is crazy, but I don’t think there’s crazy enough to try lecturing their eldest brother…….
I always found this chapter funny because even Yutae only remembered Prism’s average height as 185 cm+ something, but this guy right here remembers even the decimal ….. and he’s so bitter about Seungbeom like, kid …. even if we forget the possession thing, that pretty boy is practically Prism’s nephew …..
Not to mention the whole situation is like:
Seonghwa: I really don’t like this guy, something seems really off about him
Yutae, in Seungbeom’s body: A princess … he tries to play politics ….. but he’s good on stage …. he really looks like Jay……
ANYWAY SORRY THIS WAS LATE, I FELL ASLEEP TOO LONG BECAUSE MY GASTRITIS (or i think that’s it, since my stomach keeps rumbling) KICKING IN (they seriously have no business being that painful?)
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