When faced with someone suffering from a similar experience to their own, people’s reactions usually fell into two categories.
One way was to worry about the other person, seeing them as their past self and fearing they would experience the same pain. The other was to take a detached stance, believing that since they had already overcome it, the suffering wasn’t as severe as it seemed; they would say things like, “It’s not that big of a deal” or “I’ve been through it, and it worked out in the end“.
“You still don’t know how to learn, Yoo Jay.”
Seo Yutae was closer to the former when it came to those within his fence, while Choi Jeokhyeon was unmistakably the latter.
Seo Yutae struggled with empathy due to his blunt personality and logic-oriented thinking, while Choi Jeokhyeon’s system for empathy was fundamentally flawed to begin with. So, there was indeed an absolute difference in their innate capacity for empathy. However, that wasn’t the decisive factor that led them to take different approaches.
The two simply placed importance on different values and treated people in different ways.
No one could perfectly understand another person’s character, past experiences, or how they would react to advice. Therefore, both approaches carried the flaw of arrogance; the mistaken belief that a person could completely understand others.
Seo Yutae could make the mistake of reading too much into pain, while Choi Jeokhyeon could make the mistake of disregarding another person’s pain.
Seo Yutae’s approach could provide deep comfort and instill the courage to keep going, but for some, it could also justify a retreat into resignation. Meanwhile, Choi Jeokhyeon’s approach could make pain feel insignificant in the moment, offering hope that “One day, I too can overcome this”. However, it also carried the risk of attributing all failures to personal incompetence, potentially leaving lasting scars.
“…Get out of the way. This isn’t your place to step in.”
“If I don’t step in, then who will? I’m his guardian.”
If that’s the case, then who can truly bring about a positive outcome for Yoo Jay?
The answer to that question was: neither of them.
“Haven’t I told you before? The best way you can help is by doing nothing.”
“…….”
“Live happily inside the cage, without knowing anything, not even realizing you’re being protected. That’s the most efficient way to avoid becoming an obstacle for him.”
Seo Yutae’s approach reduced Yoo Jay to something small. To give you an idea of the size … it would be just big enough for Yoo Jay to fit comfortably in Seo Yutae’s arms and be safely protected.
“Do you think such a one-sided relationship is right?”
“Of course. Because you’re incompetent.”
“…What?”
“There’s nothing more troublesome than an incompetent person overestimating their own limits and acting out. Look, you don’t even have the ability to push me away right now.”
“…….”
“You need to know your place. The situation isn’t in your favor, and neither are your abilities. Are you just going to throw a tantrum like a child, insisting on an equal relationship? Just because that’s what’s ‘ideal’ and ‘right’?”
There were certainly those who lived that way without major issues, so it was hard to blame Yoo Jay for choosing that path. Change required more pain and courage than one might think, and the outcome of change might not necessarily be better than before.
“You can talk like that because you don’t know anything. If this goes on, Hyung will eventually be completely worn out. Even right now, he could be in danger if I don’t help!”
“…Ha, so this is why the situation has gotten so bad.”
“So get out of the way. I still have something to say!”
But despite knowing that, Yoo Jay was not happy with how things were.
The desire to grow to Seo Yutae’s size and support him, the fear that Seo Yutae, who was carrying him, might one day collapse, and the discomfort stemming from the realization that his own existence was never meant to be small; all of these feelings made Yoo Jay act like this.
But…….
Bang!
“Don’t be arrogant, Yoo Jay.”
“Ugh!”
“I’m sure he told you clearly that he would handle this matter himself. Why won’t you listen?”
“…How am I supposed to believe that? He’s been lying that he’s okay all this time, as if it’s a daily meal, just to reassure me!”
“No, that’s not it. Stop making excuses. You just don’t want to accept the fact that he doesn’t need your help.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not that kind of person!”
“If not that … is it because you want to take control of the relationship? So that you can’t be abandoned one-sidedly like last time?”
“…….”
“The reason he’s worn out right now isn’t because protecting you is too much of a burden, but because you refuse to give up and keep stepping into danger. Your so-called help is nothing but another burden. As much as I hate to admit it, if you fail and end up in danger, he will do whatever it takes to protect you … Do you still not get it?”
The world surrounding them was far harsher and more ruthless than Yoo Jay had braced himself for. It was ruthless enough to wear down even someone as formidable as Seo Yutae until he eventually crumbled. And because Seo Yutae knew this better than anyone, he feared it all the more.
“Your courage comes from ignorance. You have no idea how police investigations and public scrutiny can eat away at a person, how far someone can fall … you know nothing.”
Seo Yutae had already judged that his surroundings had fallen beyond Yoo Jay’s ability to withstand. He was convinced that if he were to lose Yoo Jay, even his own survival would no longer be guaranteed. After all, Yoo Jay was one of the heaviest weights in his life; one of the few anchors holding him together. And he had already crumbled once before after losing one of them.
“Do you … do you even realize what you’re about to do?”
The thought of being unable to protect Yoo Jay struck Seo Yutae with immense fear, and Yoo Jay’s attempt to break away by taking risks for his sake left behind a wound—one that stung all the more because it had never been Yoo Jay’s intention.
“I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help!”
“That fact won’t change, no matter how many years go by, no matter what happens. So stop being stubborn like a child and go back!”
That was the root of this conflict.
“You’re always so caught up in the situation right in front of you. That’s the only thing you’re good at, seeing things for what they are. But when it comes to actually managing or resolving the problem, you’re hopeless. You let your emotions take the lead, and in doing so, you only make things spiral further out of control.”
Unlike Seo Yutae, Choi Jeokhyeon’s approach was more akin to an attack on Yoo Jay.
He forcibly made Yoo Jay confront the harsh truth he had been avoiding, cutting into him with ruthless precision. And in the process, he made him understand just how small he had been all this time.
“If only you were stupid enough to live happily without knowing anything, it wouldn’t be this painful … Don’t you agree?”
However, Choi Jeokhyeon couldn’t care less whether Yoo Jay was bleeding to death or not.
In his world, there was only one person left who mattered.
“…What do you think you know about me? Don’t talk nonsense.”
Even though Yoo Jay had surpassed his twenties, in Choi Jeokhyeon’s eyes, Yoo Jay was still a child. He viewed Seo Yutae, who was five years younger than him, as someone to protect, so how immature would Yoo Jay, who was another five years younger, appear in Choi Jeokhyeon’s eyes?
However, in his world, the distinction between adults and children was faint, and the most important criterion was whether the other person could be of help to him. And in his judgment, Yoo Jay did not meet that standard at the moment.
‘It would have been better if it had been Lee Chise…….’
If he was going to keep causing problems like this and have a negative impact on Seo Yutae, it would be better to just disappear, that’s what he thought.
“I will protect him so he doesn’t fall apart, so don’t do anything unnecessary.”
No, to be honest, he was even a bit pleased.
He now had a justification for getting rid of something that had been irritating him.
“You’re getting in the way.”
The moment he heard those words, Yoo Jay thought,
Why do I always end up like this?What on earth am I lacking?
‘…Would the situation have been different if I were older than you, hyung, like Lee Saehwa?’
And he were in tears, disheartened by the absurdity of that conclusion.
Because no matter how many years passed, he would never be able to catch up to Seo Yutae’s age.
“…….”
The opponent, whom he had been fighting without a second until just now, suddenly began to feel huge. The realization that he had never seen Seo Yutae make that kind of expression was what truly hit him.
‘If there’s a limit I can’t overcome, should I just give up?’
However, Yoo Jay couldn’t just wallow in that feeling of defeat, so he forced his numb mouth to move, despite the lingering sense of misery.
“…I admit that I’m lacking a lot right now. I also acknowledge that my approach this time was immature. So, I’ll leave for today. It seems like that’s what he wants as well.”
Yoo Jay was someone Seo Yutae treated as a crazy person, lumped together with Choi Jeokhyeon and Seo Yuseong. He wasn’t weak enough to simply give up on what mattered most, even in the face of Choi Jeokhyeon’s criticism, who tended to blame failures entirely on the incompetence of others.
“CEO-nim, it seems like you really don’t like me, but I’m not going to give up.”
“…….”
“You must have had a time when you were immature too, so I believe you’ll understand, right?”
People are shaped by their circumstances.
Even in the harshest of circumstances, Yoo Jay was born with the ability to adapt and the courage to rise to the occasion.
Even if reality was harsh, what else could be done? He had no choice but to stubbornly push through the given situation.
The fact that he desperately fought with his lacking talent to stay in Prism until the end was part of that aspect of him.
“I’ll try to be more thoughtful and careful in how I help. If the only person my hyung can rely on is someone as strange as you, that’s when things might become beyond repair.”
With tear-filled eyes, Yoo Jay glared and retorted before leaving, and Choi Jeokhyeon watched him go with deeply sunken eyes. Then, he soon lost interest and walked toward the passenger seat where Seo Yutae was sitting.
“…….”
Something was off.
No matter how conflicted the situation was, Seo Yutae wasn’t someone who would just sit back and watch Yoo Jay be attacked. He would have definitely rushed out almost from the start, telling them to stop and even pushing Choi Jeokhyeon away. The fact that he had remained silent until now only meant that something was seriously off.
“…….”
But, isn’t it too quiet?
Choi Jeokhyeon, feeling his heart sink at the sudden question that popped into his mind, hurriedly opened the passenger seat door.
Then, he saw the figure of a young man with his head lowered and eyes closed, his pale face clearly visible. Since Han Seungbeom had extremely fair complexion to begin with, anyone else might have thought he was simply asleep.
But Choi Jeokhyeon knew too much about Seo Yutae for that to be the case.
“…Yutae-ya, can you wake up for a moment?”
“…….”
Seo Yutae was a light sleeper, so under normal circumstances, he should have opened his eyes the moment the passenger door was opened.
Seo Yutae forced his body to move under the tension brought by the pressure of being in Yoo Jay’s presence during a severely stressful situation. And as always, the moment he stood before Choi Jeokhyeon, that tension melted away. But could Han Seungbeom’s body truly withstand such an extreme shift?
The moment he realized that, Choi Jeokhyeon grabbed Seo Yutae’s shoulders and shook them hard with desperation.
“Seo Yutae.”
But the tightly closed eyelids didn’t open.
As Choi Jeokhyeon shook him, the unresisting body swayed helplessly before slumping into his arms. Choi Jeokhyeon managed to catch him in time, but his hands instinctively trembled a moment later.
“…….”
His entire body was drenched in a cold sweat.
After confirming his condition, Choi Jeokhyeon cursed, something unlike him.
“…Damn it!”
Seo Yutae was unconscious.
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Translator’s Corner:
Haha …. I’m going to blame CJH for whatever happened after this /jk
My other series (already finished) now has a mnhw adaption ……. I’m very happy because it’s so brightly cute T_T BUT AT THE SAME TIME I’M NOW [SCARED] ASDFHJKFLDLDS Please let this blog stay unharmed T_T I’m very embarrassed too since now a lot of new readers are coming to read the novel after finding out the manhwa, but ….. my English was pretty terrible 3 years ago … I legit had no idea you have to consistently use past tense in narratives until someone pointed it out a year later asdfhjkls very sorry for the readers … it makes me realize how kind the readers back then for sticking with me even though I made so many mistakes with grammars and sentence flow …..
But I guess that’s just what happens when you got older and knew better …. maybe in 3 years I’ll look back to this series translation and think wtf why is this so bad ….. and I always talk too much and oversharing too much …. why am I still doing this even though I know I will want to bury myself deep in a hole when I read it again years later…..
Anyway, the regular daily update will be back in April, so please read other series in your reading list until then~
Thank you Nurul Hidayah for the lightstick!
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