I was always afraid that Seo Yuseong might kill my father without me knowing.
Because that’s the kind of person Seo Yuseong had always been.
Seo Yuseong would always suddenly do something outrageous without a word of warning, then wait for me with a calm face as if nothing had happened. Looking back, I don’t think he ever once asked for my advice or tried to consult me about anything.
“Hello. You’re Yuseong’s older brother, correct? I’m Yuseong’s homeroom teacher. Did Yuseong happen to tell you about what happened?”
“What happened?”
“Since all the students in the class remained silent, we haven’t been able to figure out exactly what happened either. There was a student who kept picking fights with Yuseong, so the teachers had already been keeping an eye on him.”
“How exactly did he pick a fight? If it were just a typical level of provocation, Seo Yuseong would have tolerated it.”
“Since Yuseong is really popular, I think at first the student just wanted to get close to him, but when Yuseong completely ignored him, he seemed to have taken it personally. There were several instances where he insulted Yuseong over his family’s financial situation, but since Yuseong didn’t react, it seems like he recently went as far as loudly insulting his older brother.”
“…He insulted me?”
“That’s enough. So, what happened next?”
“But after that, that student suddenly started being ostracized by his classmates, and his behavior started getting more and more strange. Then yesterday, he said he was going to transfer schools.”
…He probably acted that way because he never had any intention of listening to anyone else in the first place. Compared to that, the fact that he joined RH Entertainment without even telling me was actually pretty tame by his standards.
“Seo Yuseong, I heard you had some problems at school. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s already been resolved, so there’s no need for you to know.”
“How exactly is it all resolved? I’m your guardian, I have the right to know what happened. Besides, I heard it even involved me.”
“…You should go inside and rest. You’ve been working all day. You look tired.”
“Seo Yuseong!”
Every time he did something wrong, I would point it out and tell him, ‘Don’t do that’, and he did make an effort to rein himself in a bit. But that particular aspect of him just never changed, not even by the very end.
Wasn’t it inevitable that I’d feel a chill in my chest whenever I saw someone like him just silently staring at the shards of a broken liquor bottle every time our drunken father was being abusive toward me?
“You can defend him like that because you don’t know the way Seo Yuseong looks at me.”
“That bastard’s the type who would even kill his own father.”
My younger brother was born different from others in some ways, so I couldn’t help but constantly worry that one day he might do something terrible somewhere I wouldn’t even know about. I loved him more than anything, but that love only made the fear worse.
And that same issue also manifested in Choi Jeokhyeon, the one I had felt was similar to Seo Yuseong from the very first time we met.
“Yes, it’s my gift for you. Do you like it?”
When a journalist started viciously insulting and defaming me, Choi Jeokhyeon, without so much as a word to me, quietly drove him to the point of suicide. That incident caused a serious rift in our relationship, and I’m sure Choi Jeokhyeon came to some realization because of it.
“When, when did I ever ask you to do something like this!”
When I learned of that journalist’s death, I was so shocked that I lashed out at Choi Jeokhyeon and pushed him away in anger. Yet, he didn’t say a single word. Looking back now, his expression wasn’t all that different from usual, but I think his pupils had widened a little.
He must have known I wouldn’t be entirely okay with it, but he probably never expected that I would express such strong repulsion.
“If you make someone die again, I will never appear in front of you again. And you’re not allowed to appear in front of me either.”
He did it for my sake, but all he got in return was rebuke and rejection.
“Are you going to order an innocent person to kill him? Or will you do it yourself? Go ahead, try that. If you do, it’s really over.”
From then on, Choi Jeokhyeon seemed to realize that while he could analyze people’s psychology, he couldn’t genuinely empathize with or understand their emotions and inner thoughts on a deeper level. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say that, until then, he’d simply never felt the need to empathize with anyone’s feelings in the first place.
He began to change little by little after we met again.
“Shall I kill him?”
It might sound a bit ridiculous to say this about that Choi Jeokhyeon, but compared to how he used to be, he really did change. He became much more restrained. He started waiting, as much as possible, to see how I would react before acting on anything. He probably didn’t want to make another mistake with me, even if it meant a slight delay in his response.
‘Thinking back to the day he brought Pantheion to the hotel, I guess his cautious approach doesn’t apply when my life is on the line.‘
Just bringing someone else’s child all the way here without the parents’ permission was already crossing the line … but if it had been the old him, an incident would’ve happened without me even being shown the child.
“You said you wanted to make Kang Hyukwoo suffer a pain worse than death. This is the only way, Yutae-ya.”
This was another option he presented to me, after I had refused the sweet temptation of ‘I’ll kill Kang Hyukwoo for you‘.
And what I truly wanted to keep hidden … was that this horrific option Choi Jeokhyeon presented wasn’t completely untempting to me.
“I’m not trying to control you or dictate your actions. I just want to help you live freely …. and happily, in the way you truly want. Because I believe that’s what an ideal family should be. So, just do whatever it is you want to do. Be honest with yourself.”
“…….”
“I can do anything you want. Even if it’s a crime.”
I never told him, but by now, I’d mostly come to accept the fact that deep down, I had hoped that journalist would disappear. That’s why I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t notice that Choi Jeokhyeon, every now and then, saw right through my ugly desires with eerie precision and, conveniently, relieved me of the burden and responsibility that should’ve been mine to carry—laying them before me like a perfectly wrapped gift.
“I looked into the Cyber Wrecker who uploaded the first video pointing out the similarities between Seo Yutae and Han Seungbeom, and it seems they were paid a considerable amount of money from some unknown source. As for who put them up to it, I’m sure you already know.”
“…….”
“I’ve been patient long enough, haven’t I? It was Kang Hyukwoo who crossed the line first.”
If you asked how that guy—a complete stranger—could read emotions that even I hadn’t been fully aware of myself, the answer would be that he had no hesitation when it came to looking straight into the depths of me. Whether what he saw was filthy or clean didn’t really matter. He accepted even the parts I tried to hide out of shame, the ones I pretended weren’t there, as part of who I am.
“You’re exhausted.”
“…….”
“So I figured maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to end it now. I’m just offering you the easiest way to do that.”
Choi Jeokhyeon wasn’t trying to torment me right now.
He had brought that child here for my sake.
‘No, no. The child didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it!’
Thump, thump, thump. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it was about to burst, and my consciousness seemed to fade.
And the memory of the day I heard that Seo Yuseong had gone missing started replaying in my mind.
“The weather has made the sea too rough for a smooth search. The water has risen, so there aren’t many traces left either. But we won’t give up hope and will keep searching.“
“…He’s not dead. He’s not dead yet!”
Who could possibly fathom the heart of a parent who has lost a child?
It’s a sorrow no one can truly understand until they’ve lived through it themselves.
…And I wished that Kang Hyukwoo would feel that exact same emotion.
After finding out that Kang Hyukwoo had killed Seo Yuseong, I think I must’ve thought about it at least once … no, hundreds, maybe thousands of times.
Can a life like Kang Hyukwoo’s ever be enough to fill the void of a loss so great that not even my own death could cover it?
Just as much as I had wished Kang Hyukwoo had no one precious to him, I had also desperately wished for that child to exist. I prayed again and again to make the bastard who killed my little brother suffer a pain worse than death, the exact same pain I had suffered. I wanted to take the one thing he treasured most and tear it to shreds right before his eyes.
If Kang Hyukwoo happened to have someone he held dear, I fervently hoped that person would be just as vile and despicable as he was—someone capable of driving a knife straight into his heart, just like he had done to mine.
Because only then would I feel less guilty.
But now, the revenge I had so desperately longed for was right before my eyes, in the one form I had least wished for.
I stared down at Kang Hyukwoo’s son, barely able to breathe through short, ragged gasps, unable even to blink. His face had already turned blurry. I could hardly see him anymore. It felt as if ‘Kim Chaeyul’ had vanished, and only ‘Kang Hyukwoo’s son’ remained in this world.
‘…How else could he have afforded to raise that child? He must have gotten the money by choking the life out of the members of Prism.’
Before I even knew what I was doing, I stumbled forward and grabbed the child’s arm.
Then, I felt his small hand, typical of children, fit snugly into my palm.
“Hold Hyung’s hand. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Okay.”
When Seo Yuseong was little, holding his hand always gave me this exact feeling.
The moment that memory came back to me, I broke down.
‘I can’t. Never…….’
Nausea hit me all at once, and I gritted my teeth to endure it.
The realization struck me,I was actually trying to hate a child this small.
Kneeling on the floor, I met the child’s gaze and asked in a hoarse voice, “…Wanna play with this uncle? It must’ve been boring being alone, right?”
“Hyung, you’re really gonna play with me? Yayyyy!”
Then the child lifted the hand clutching the hero figure and burst into a gleeful laugh before throwing himself into my arms. I slowly wrapped my arms around his small body and closed my eyes.
And Choi Jeokhyeon only stood there, silently watching me.
***
“Is this fun?”
“Yeah! These blocks are a new set, but Dad’s been so busy he couldn’t get it for me!”
I watched the child quietly as he built the blocks, sweat dripping down his face, and then asked, “What if … your dad was a villain who hurt people? How would you feel?”
The child seemed to think it over for a moment, then suddenly shook his head hard and shouted,
“My dad’s not a villain! He might not come home often, but my dad buys me the newest phone, never gets mad at me … He always tells me he loves me, and says I can do whatever I want.”
I know.
The only family this child had left was Kang Hyukwoo.
If Kang Hyukwoo were to die, this child would have to live on all alone.
Kang Hyukwoo must have been a much better father than mine, at the very least. I could tell just by the look on the child’s face as he talked endlessly about his dad. If he were to lose such a father … how would that child go on living?
“Hyung, if you hate my dad, then I will hate you too.”
I stroked the child’s hair back with my palm and answered, “…Yeah. I’m sorry, that was a strange thing to say.”
I don’t know. Why is it so hard for me to accept that the person who utterly destroyed my life could be someone else’s salvation?
I know how terrifying it is to be left all alone in this world, with no family at all.
…I will probably become the worst villain in this child’s life.
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Translator’s Corner:
Remind me again why I’m doing this to myself….
No the real question is, why author-nim doing this to Yutae???? Chat, do you think Yutae will continue his wish to kill Kang Hyukwoo now that he knows it would turn an innocent child into an orphan…..
But tbh, I like how they pointed out how that child was raised with Prism’s money … like, for example, you’d see real bad, wicked people in real life, people would say “Don’t hate the child, they did nothing wrong” … but then again, the child is enjoying the result of those bad deeds …. or, closer example, my neighbor long time ago claimed a part of my mother’s land and even built a house for his son on top of it … to this day i still hate seeing that family even down to the grandchildren, I even wished that house would just collapse …. like am I too petty as a person or is it just human’s normal emotion and Yutae is just weird? Well
(Also I found out why some HR just ghosted candidates. Yesterday I received a rejection e-mail. I didn’t even have any hope for it since it’s in the capital city and they definitely would prefer someone nearby, not in some remote place like me, but getting rejection email is apparently pretty depressing asdhfkjffl I, too, want to live in a big city…..)
and omg it’s such a pretty chapter number. 333. Happy Friday 13th too~
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