“…Seo Yuseong?”
In a trembling voice, I called his name, and I saw him nod right away.
I wondered if I was out of my mind, if I was hallucinating. Maybe I was just too mentally fragile to endure this situation, and my mind had conjured up Seo Yuseong as a last resort to survive.
The hand I used to lift Seo Yuseong’s chin was trembling.
I was afraid that if I gripped him too tightly, my hand would just pass right through him, so instead, I gently moved my thumb and brushed it against his cheek.
It was warm.
I could feel the warmth of someone who was alive.
As soon as I sensed him, I dazedly muttered to myself, “…You’re alive.”
“Yes, I’m right here.”
I felt like if I allowed even a single doubt to creep in, this dreamlike moment would shatter. Just the fact that Seo Yuseong was alive was enough to make me feel like I could die from sheer gratitude. What more could I possibly wish for?
Even if this whole situation turned out to be some elaborate illusion meant to deceive me, I think I still would’ve gone along with it, as long as it meant Seo Yuseong could come back.
Time and again, I prayed for this miracle. Shameless as it was, deep down I kept wishing and hoping that the miracle that had happened to me would happen to Seo Yuseong as well.
‘Was this how the Prism members felt?’
I could never forget that memory—of having no choice but to quietly look at him, cold and lifeless. And yet now, he was right in front of me. Everything about him felt so precious: the curl of his hair, the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, even the way a single eyelash softly fluttered down each time his eyelids moved.
“…Seo Yuseong, Seo Yuseong.”
Who could possibly understand this feeling? This sense that the greatest loss of my life, one I thought would never be filled again, was suddenly being made whole? There were too many words piling up inside me, and I had no idea where to start. So I just kept repeating Seo Yuseong’s name like a parrot, and each time, he answered, “Yes”, “Yes” without fail.
“Is it really you?”
“Of course it’s me.”
After losing you, it felt like my whole world had come to a stop. I wanted to ask if he had any idea how hellish my life had been without him, how much I had missed him. But my throat tightened, and all I could do was hold him tightly, afraid that if I let go even for a second, I might lose him again.
After standing there like that for a long while, I finally managed to ask a single question.
“You’re not sick or in pain anywhere, are you?”
Seo Yuseong opened his mouth right away to answer. But I couldn’t even wait for those few seconds it would take for the reply. I started turning his body this way and that way, checking him myself. Seo Yuseong just looked at me quietly, blinking slowly, and then let me move him as I needed, offering up his body so I could see for myself.
It was only after I confirmed that none of the horrific marks I’d seen on Seo Yuseong’s body were there that I finally lifted my head. Then, I urgently shook his shoulders, pressing him to answer.
“Why aren’t you answering?”
At that, Seo Yuseong replied in the same way I remembered him: blunt and as emotionless as ever.
“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry.”
“…Really?”
The moment I saw Seo Yuseong nod in response to yet another foolish question I’d blurted out, I clutched my head, staggered, and sank to the ground. As soon as the immense dread that Seo Yuseong might disappear from my sight once more vanished, relief rushed in, and the strength in my legs gave out.
Seo Yuseong’s hand immediately caught me to keep my body from collapsing, but right now, I didn’t have the presence of mind to care about that.
“That’s all I need. That alone is more than enough…….”
I just sat there, muttering those words, blankly staring ahead.
Then, I heard the sound of something falling.
Drip, drip.
I blinked and saw droplets falling onto the sand, leaving small, dark circles behind. Wondering if it was starting to rain, I looked up, but the sky, though dull and overcast, showed no sign of falling water. In the end, I turned my palm upward and held it out into the air, but the only place the droplets were falling was beneath my own face.
“Don’t cry, hyung.”
And it was only when Seo Yuseong wrapped his arms tightly around me and said those words that I realized I was crying.
“Ah…….”
I knew I must have looked pathetic, breaking down like this in front of my much younger brother. But the warmth of Seo Yuseong, seeping into the wasteland of my heart, was something I had missed so deeply that I couldn’t bring myself to pretend I was okay.
“I’m sorry for making you wait. I had my reasons. Are you angry because I couldn’t come see you?”
As I stayed silent, unable to answer and simply let my tears fall, Seo Yuseong, uncharacteristically flustered, kept glancing at my face and repeating those words over and over. It seemed my tears had shaken him more than he was letting on.
‘Well, I suppose it’s only natural. I’ve never really cried in front of Seo Yuseong before.’
It wasn’t like Seo Yuseong to ramble on like that, but the way he clumsily fumbled through it, clearly unable to read what the other person was feeling, was so unmistakably him that I couldn’t help but let out a laugh, even though it didn’t suit the moment.
My heart soared, as if all the negative emotions I’d just been feeling had never been real. To be honest, I was so happy that I even thought, ‘If this is a dream, I never want to wake up‘. Without realizing it, the corners of my lips curled into a smile, but then my heart dropped, and I quickly covered my mouth with the palm of my hand in a panic.
‘…Someone died, and you’re smiling?’
It felt like reality was finally starting to sink back in.
I was the one who had always told Seo Yuseong, ever since he was young, that no matter what happened, he must never hurt another person. But did he know that the one who ended up breaking that very promise was me?
My current state was far too unsightly to be standing in front of the brother I’d only just gotten back.
My face had gone past blushing from shame. It had turned pale, and now it stung with numbness.
“Did you know? Kang Hyukwoo…….”
I didn’t particularly care that the person in question was Kang Hyukwoo. All that mattered was the fact that I had caused someone’s death. That alone weighed heavily on me, filling me with guilt as I stood before Seo Yuseong. It took everything I had to finally bring up Kang Hyukwoo, but before I could finish, Seo Yuseong cut me off with a flat, emotionless voice.
“He’s dead. He committed suicide.”
“I, I made it happen. I killed him.”
Is he acting so nonchalantly on purpose to lessen my guilt? Or is it simply because he’s fundamentally the kind of person who doesn’t value other people’s lives? Just as those questions began to cross my mind, Seo Yuseong smiled, without a hint of disgust toward me, and defended me.
“It’s okay. You did it for me, didn’t you?”
“…….”
“All things considered, that was a less gruesome way to die. Don’t worry about it.”
Something about it felt slightly off.
Wasn’t the phrase ‘less gruesome‘ usually used when there was something to compare it to? Sure, there was a chance he could’ve been brutally murdered by gangsters, but somehow, it didn’t feel like that was what he was referring to.
“He was someone who deserved to die in a far more miserable way.”
“…….”
“Because Kang Hyukwoo was the one who killed me.”
I had suspected it all along, but hearing the truth confirmed directly from him made my mind reel. It was as if my profound guilt was being diluted by a surge of anger. Seo Yuseong, without a doubt, must have aimed for this exact reaction.
“…So it’s true. You were murdered by Kang Hyukwoo that day.”
When I murmured those words quietly, Seo Yuseong, as if he were talking about someone else’s story, told me that he had learned about what was going on at Kang Hyukwoo’s club through our father. And then, after being found out, Kang Hyukwoo and Lim Seunghoon had dragged him away and thrown him into the sea.
His words filled me with rage, but Seo Yuseong still spoke with a calm, expressionless face.
“To be precise, I died and then came back to life. Just like you did, hyung.”
“Just like I did?”
“Yeah. I was brought back by Han Seungbeom’s power too.”
Han Seungbeom’s name came out of Seo Yuseong’s mouth as if it meant nothing. He hadn’t checked Han Seungbeom’s laptop like I had, nor had he been in contact with his family, so seeing him speak with such nonchalance made me wonder if Seo Yuseong actually knew more about what was happening to us now than I did.
“And…….”
But before I could even ask anything, a translucent window appeared before my eyes.
“I also received these powers from Han Seungbeom.”
[★ User name: Han Seungbeom ☆]
[★ User name: Han Seungbeom ★]
And the moment Seo Yuseong finished speaking, color began to fill the star icon that had been empty in the status window, and a red warning alert popped up.
[(error!) Access by another user who’s not designated as the System Beneficiary has been detected.
Continuing may result in a penalty.]
“This system was built based on a game Han Seungbeom’s mother created for him. That’s why, for anyone other than Han Seungbeom, there are all sorts of restrictions.”
It matched exactly with the design I had seen a few times by chance or in Han Seungbeom’s laptop.
‘They said that kind of message appeared when the car accident happened.’
Then … does that mean the one who saved me during the car accident wasn’t Han Seungbeom, but Seo Yuseong? And the reason no one ever came forward with a single eyewitness account, even though he wore the face of someone already dead, was that all thanks to that ability?
“Then everything that’s happened until now…….”
While I stood there dumbfounded by the completely unexpected situation, Seo Yuseong turned his gaze back to me.
Then, countless stars—ones that should never have been visible in the vast sky at this time—began to glow in a circular formation, as if surrounding Seo Yuseong. The sight left me awestruck, and I unconsciously parted my lips. With the endless night sky behind him, Seo Yuseong smiled brightly and whispered.
“I’ve always been watching you, hyung.”
Even when the sky was in a state where no stars should’ve been visible, I could always see them clearly. The way the status window would immediately activate to help me whenever my life was in critical danger, like now or during the car accident. All of those strange occurrences were finally starting to make sense.
“Now, I’m finally ready to put everything back where it belongs.”
“…….”
“Let’s go back, hyung. Back to the time when we were happy.”
As if he had no concern for the confusion swirling in my mind, Seo Yuseong, his face alight with pure joy, spoke to me. I couldn’t quite make sense of what he said.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, let’s go back to living as Seo Yutae. You wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your life pretending to be someone else, would you?”
The possibility of returning to my original body was something I had desperately wished for.
But in reality, there were far too many complications in the way.
“…I’d go back in a heartbeat if I could. But realistically, that’s just not possible.”
“Why? You saw with your own eyes that your body is still alive, hyung.”
When he mentioned that my body was still alive, I became certain that the one who had been tending to my corpse was Seo Yuseong. At that point, I was beginning to lose track of where Han Seungbeom’s actions ended and Seo Yuseong’s began.
Something was definitely off.
Han Seungbeom must have known exactly how much Seo Yuseong meant to me. So, even if he saw how much I was struggling, could he really have just cut away my memories of him that easily?
“Don’t worry. I’ve taken good care of it so there wouldn’t be any problems.”
Rather, wasn’t it because he was the one being forgotten that he was able to make such a decision so easily?
‘If that’s the case, then everything, right from saving me, was all Seo Yuseong’s doing…….’
“…Wait, wait.”
I was already exhausted, and the sudden flood of information made it feel like my brain was screaming. Pressing my temple firmly, I responded to Seo Yuseong, deciding to deal with the problem right in front of us first.
“Even if my body really is still alive, like I saw, the whole world thinks I’m dead, so how on earth am I supposed to go back to my original life?”
“Han Seungbeom had an ability that could interfere with people’s memories, right? We just need to use that. We’ll erase the very fact of ‘Seo Yutae’s death’, as if it never happened.”
As I listed out the practical problems, Seo Yuseong immediately laid out a solution, almost as if he had expected it all along.
‘To tamper with everyone’s memories, the cost must be enormous.’
There was something strange. The feeling that everything was unfolding far too conveniently in my favor wouldn’t go away, filling me with a sense of dread. And more than anything, what unsettled me most was how everything I’d thought might have been Han Seungbeom’s doing was now being completely replaced by things Seo Yuseong had done.
I forced out a response, just barely finding my voice.
“…Then what about Han Seungbeom? If I go back to my original body like you said, what will happen to Han Seungbeom?”
Hearing my question, Seo Yuseong let out a small sigh, as if he’d known I would ask that. With his usual calm, indifferent expression, he paused for a moment. Then, as if we were simply having an ordinary conversation, he spoke in a dry voice.
“…Forget about Han Seungbeom.”
“…….”
“That child, he already died a long time ago.”
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Translator’s Corner:
Congrats for being happy for 1 (one) chapter…..
After thinking about it, I changed “System’s Consideration Target (Target of Consideration)” to “System Beneficiary“. Actually beneficiary is not quite accurate … “배려 대상” literally means someone being considered for care/kindness … but Target of Consideration feels really awkward, you see, in game-setting context. Sigh, I hate how I can’t just use literal translation for everything T_T the nuance is different…..
I want to feel sad about this chapter but translating this FELT LIKE ETERNITY ??? IT WAS SOOOO LONG I STARTED AT NIGHT AND FINISHED AT MORNING T_T The other chapter usually has 11 pages, but this chapter has 13 pages what the hell … I played Red Velvet – One of These Nights (the mood >>>>, but now that I think about it, this song suits Yutae – Seungbeom more than Yutae – Yuseong….) on repeat when starting, and by now spotify already turned it off because the app thought I was already asleep ….. let’s just update my other projects tomorrow to experience the feeling of translating moderate-lenght chapter again ….. I was thinking of taking one week vacation to celebrate this cabin’s sixth anniversary, but I’m afraid I’d get lazy if I took a break that long
No but everything after this is also asdfghjkl this is why I said I’m more scared of Seo Yuseong … Choi Jeokhyeon is cute compared to him …. I remember someone commenting we considered Choi Jeokhyeon charming because we saw him through Seo Yutae’s eyes (this guy is lowkey down bad I guess), but we also saw Seo Yuseong throught Yutae’s eyes T_T and he was like this …… like how could you just say our Seo Seungbeom is no longer alive …… at least prepare us mentally……
Will I finish translating this series or will this series finish me, we’ll see ……
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