It was hard listening to Loftus’ impromptu mathematics lesson while resisting the urge to punch him, but I managed it. He explained to me how to work out the formulae that Blyth came up with. It took me a while to calculate everything, but I was able to do it. Probably…
He left me and went to bed. I still had much left to do. First up on the list was having a rendezvous with my sweetheart. I conjured my slots. Drool dripped out of the side of my mouth. “You’re as beautiful as ever, darling.”
I had 11 level up points to spend. Loftus had told me earlier that I could add the level up points, currency, and items to my status page by going into the settings. I clicked the toggles in the menu and lo.
[Name: Yarm] [Age: 45] [Level: 14]
[HP: 100] [MP: 10] [XP: -5984] [LP:11] [GP: 50]
[Body: 0] [Mind: 0] [Soul: 0]
[Titles: Villain, Lockpicker] [Skills: Cleanse] [Items: Soundless Pick]
I looked for a toggle to add my debt to the page, but I couldn’t find it. This System could have used a lot more functionality. There should have been a little analogue clock widget, a calculator page, a radio button, a TV menu, and a gambling screen. How antiquated of the System to not implement such basic functions.
I turned my attention back to my lovely slot machine and gave it a spin. It rolled and rolled and all three reels landed on Stats. I kissed the machine. “Well done, honey.”
[Choose your Stats.]
[+1 Body] [+3 Mind] [+2 Soul]
I had no idea what to pick. Body was the obvious choice, I felt. It improved your strength and it gave you HP. To my knowledge, the more HP you had, the less likely you were to die. Wasn’t it best to go all in on that? And if I became strong enough, I could kick the crap out of all the horrible people in this world. Though, it felt awful picking the option that gave me the least amount of progress.
If I picked Mind I would get three times as much benefit. I had no idea what benefit I’d get, but it would be three times as much. Mind was the most elusive stat. It didn’t affect HP or MP. It was impossible to know what it really did. All I knew for certain was that it would make my Lockpicker title stronger. Did I want that? It’s not like there were any complex locks that I needed to pick. It felt like a waste to improve it.
However, apparently it was supposed to make your mind stronger. If I put points into it, perhaps I could’ve solved mathematical problems faster. If I increased it enough, maybe I’d be the one giving out formulae at the nightly meeting that no one could understand. That was my vanity speaking, but a rational part of my brain wondered something else. If my Mind level went up, could I figure out a plan to combat the immorality of this world?
I genuinely felt hindered by my lack of intelligence many times. If I improved it, then there was a possibility for me to find solutions to problems that I had no answers for. The abolition of slavery, the removal of poverty, the end to needless killing: I could solve all these things. Maybe. It wasn’t certain. There was a chance that I became smart enough to understand that there was no answer to these problems. I didn’t want that. I’d end up like the ethics professor.
The last option was Soul. By taking it now, my MP would rise to 25. Then I could cast Cleanse twice. And since Cleanse scaled off of Soul it would also become stronger. I didn’t know what form that strength would take. The description seemed pretty transparent as for what it did.
[Cleanse]
[Remove one status effect from a target within range. Costs 10 MP. (Soul)]
How could a Skill like that become stronger? Would the range change? Maybe at a certain threshold I could remove more than one status effect. I wasn’t sure.
Out of all the options I was leaning heavily towards Mind. I think that subconsciously I was drawn towards the biggest number. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, was there? What if I just picked the biggest number each time?
That actually sounded pretty smart. I was getting smarter already, even before choosing the Mind option. I reached up and pressed the middle option. My Mind level increased to 3. I checked my status page for a change but there was nothing, apart from seeing my Mind go up.
I tried to feel a difference. Could I think faster? I went back to the equations that Blyth made. I tried to figure out certain XP thresholds for random levels. I think I felt a little faster at calculating. Or maybe that was just the placebo effect. I really didn’t know. If there was a change, it was hardly perceptible.
Why was I even trying to figure this out? Couldn’t I just go to the library and search up books on the System? Or I could just ask someone. Yeah. That was a good idea. I really was getting smarter.
I went for another spin by pulling the lever. It was a dud. No payout. I went in for another spin, and it was a miss too. I was down to eight points, but I didn’t feel any stronger.
The next spin was a hit. Stats again. My plan was just to pick the biggest number for every Stats roll.
[Choose your Stats.]
[-1 Body, +4 Mind, -1 Soul]
[+2 Body, -4 Mind, +5 Soul]
[+1 Body, -1 Mind, +1 Soul]
The System just loved to mess with all my plans. What the heck was this? The first two options would degrade my stats into the negatives. How would that even work? Would my HP and MP be lowered? If my Body lowered my HP below zero, would I die? And what happened if MP reduced to below zero? I was only two Soul levels away from that happening.
I started adding the numbers up in my head. Once that failed, I started writing them out to sum them up. The first would net me +2, the second +3, the third +1. If I stayed true to the plan, I had to pick the second one. If I did, I would lose all the Mind levels I got from my previous spin. That was an issue but not the primary one. At a negative mind level, I would become stupider than I already was. Was that even possible?
The second option was out of the question.
The third one would keep all my stats positive, but it was only +1. There was a scratching curiosity in my head to pick the first one. I wanted to test what would happen if my stats dipped below zero. It was important to experiment, wasn’t it? I would learn nothing by playing it safe.
I clicked it. My HP became 90 and my MP became 5. I realised I couldn’t cast cleanse anymore. This was a horrible idea. What was I thinking?
Maybe the reason I felt no change in intelligence from the Mind increase was because I was too much of an idiot in the first place. If a genius became twice as smart, he would become a super genius. If an idiot became twice as smart, he wouldn’t even become average. If I had an intelligence level (IL) that was 10, multiplying it by 2 would only make it a little bigger. But someone with an IL of 100 would gain a lot more by multiplying it by two.
This was all my imagination speaking. I had no idea if it was true. Well, it wasn’t like I could turn back the hands of time. I rolled again. The spinning of the reels made me forget about my worries.
This time it landed on Title.
[Choose your Title.]
[Farmer] [Charmer] [Llama]
The System seemed to be a fan of Rhymes like Eppy.
[Farmer: Increases rate of loot drops. (Body)]
What the heck did that mean? And what did this have to do with farming? Shouldn’t this Title have given me a bonus to my tilling speed? I’d expected it to help with cultivating crops or something along those lines. Whatever ‘loot drops’ was, I didn’t like the sound of it.
[Charmer: At random times during conversation, QTEs will occur. Pick the correct dialogue option for rewards. (Mind)]
Again with things that I didn’t understand. I was so tired of abbreviations, even on Earth. I didn’t like LOL or his brother LMFAO. I hated BTW and SMH. I didn’t know what IDK meant. And I certainly couldn’t wrap my head around IYKYK.
[Llama: Become half-llama. (Body)]
I actually liked this one. It wasn’t useful at all, but I liked it. What would it even entail, becoming a half-llama? Would my lower body become that of a llama, like some strange centaur? What if my head became llama? I didn’t want that. I remembered something about llamas spitting at people. I already had enough enemies.
It was inherently interesting that I could become another species. Could a half-person gain the human Title and become fully human? How come I didn’t have the human title already?
This one Title gave me so much food for thought. What if there was a title that could turn me into a monster? Then I could join the Demon King and lay waste to this awful world. Nah.
Of the three I decided to go for the middle. I didn’t know what a QTE was, but it seemed like I could gain rewards by answering a question correctly. The other two didn’t promise me anything like that. Plus, my Mind was my highest Stat. The other two titles would be scaling off of negative Stats, making them even less useful.
I picked charmer and rolled again. Miss. Five points left.
A flashing dial caught my attention. It had appeared after the miss at the top left of the slot machine. That wasn’t there before. I knew because I had licked every inch of this slot machine and I didn’t remember licking that knob.
Above the dial was the word multiplier. The knob had settings I could turn it to. The one it was already on, had the number 1. I could turn the dial to the other setting which was the number 2. When I turned it, the writing on the slot machine suddenly changed. ‘Two level-up points to Spin. Rewards are multiplied by two, and there is a greater chance for the jackpot.’
It seemed like I could increase my wager to gamble for greater prizes. If I did this, I would be risking a lot. I would only be able to spin twice at this setting, and they could easily be whiffs. But I imagined if they weren’t. What great prizes would await me? Maybe I’d even hit the jackpot?
Maybe the jackpot would give me a genie lamp. There was magic in this world wasn’t there, so that was entirely possible. For my first wish I would ask to win the lottery. Oh, and for my second wish I’d free the slaves or wish for world peace or something like that. Never mind, that was stupid. I should just wish for God-like powers instead. Then I could use those powers to help those that suffered. It was sorted. I’d wish for omnipotence once my next spin gave me a genie lamp.
I pulled the lever and waited eagerly. My heart beat quickly. I was so excited for my new life once I won the jackpot. Everything would be different. My life as a pathetic loser would be over. Everything would be so much better.
I looked at all the reels landing on something different. I missed my first chance, but the second one would definitely pay out. My new life was just around the corner. I just had to pull the lever again.
I pulled it and my eyes were glued to the reels. I clasped my hands together and prayed for a big payout. “C’mon, c’mon.” The reels clanked as they stopped in succession.
Nothing. I failed. I only had one level-up point left. I shamefully twisted the multiplier knob back to 1 and rolled again.
It spun and landed on Stats. This time was a little different, though. One of the reels had the writing of Stats surrounded in flashing gold.
[One Golden Reel: Extra Payout]
I started crying upon seeing those words. I had struck it big. The System was about to bless me with something amazing.
[Choose your Stats.]
[+3 Soul] [+3 Soul] [+3 Soul]
That wasn’t even a choice! You couldn’t tell me to choose when all three options were the same. I banged my head against the machine. Slots were stupid. I was going to play the lottery tomorrow instead.
[Name: Yarm] [Age: 45] [Level: 14]
[HP: 90] [MP: 25] [XP: -5984] [LP:0] [GP: 50]
[Body: -1] [Mind: 7] [Soul: 2]
[Titles: Villain, Lockpicker, Charmer] [Skills: Cleanse] [Items: Soundless Pick]
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