I was low on HP, low on MP, and low on sleep. The sun was rising and I still had no idea where I was. My sense of direction told me that I was heading towards the main path near the goblin village. Unfortunately, my sense of direction seemed rather untrustworthy in my sleep deprived state.
I crawled through thickets and bushes which scratched me up. My HP dwindled just a little bit more, though that did not matter. Staying conscious was my true aim. I was so tired and weary from trying to find the path home. My -1 Body likely had a part to play in my fatigue. It was an immense struggle to keep moving.
With one last push, I broke through some dense shrubbery and landed on a road. I had made it. I picked up a large branch and grasped it with two hands to use as a cane.
I was in a miserable state. If a carriage passed by, they would surely have pity on me and let me hitchhike. Or would they? I applied some extra mud and dirt to my body. There, that would do it. Or would it? What if someone incredibly heartless passed by? I took off my boots and put them in my bag. Now this was sure to work. Even the most callous passerby couldn’t abandon a child with no shoes, could they?
I pulled out my water bottle and dripped some water into my eyes. The mud on my face would wash off in streams and make it seem as if I had been crying. Even in my weakened form I was a tactical genius. There was not a single person who could resist leaving me be with all this effort I had put in. The next carriage that travelled by on this path would give me a ride, for certain.
I heard the rolling of wooden wheels and thudding of hooves behind me. This was it.
A carriage being pulled by an exceptionally long horse stopped beside me. The horse had six legs and the head of an eagle. It reminded me of a griffon, only more messed up and creepier.
Three people hopped out of the carriage, all with worried looks on their faces.
One was aged 157, named Ashbry, had long pointy ears and a short faint-pink ponytail. She looked youthful despite her age. Her clothes were made of light cloth accented with gold embroidery. The front of her shirt had a green plus symbol.
Another was 29, named Georoald, and had a yellow afro. He was a boring human. On his back was a giant pickaxe.
The last was 52 and named Jugemu. His lower body was thick like a bodybuilder, but his upper body was thin and skinny. His neck was long as heck and his mouth was a beak. If I had to guess he was half-emu.
“Are you alright, boy?” Jugemu asked. His voice came from metres above me.
“What happened? Were you attacked?” asked Ashbry.
“We’ll make whoever did this pay!” said Georoald.
I had spent all my time trying to look as pitiful as possible that I forgot to think of an excuse for why I was like this. Saying someone attacked me would be a bad idea. These three looked strong so I didn’t want them trying to get revenge on my imaginary assailants. I tried to make my voice as weak as possible. “I was on a walk and got lost on the way to the King’s city. Please help.”
“Oh you poor thing.” Ashbry knelt to my level. “Of course we’ll help you.” She fazed a magic staff into existence and casted a spell. Green particles and light emanated from the tip of the staff. “Greater clean!” The light shot into me.
I looked at my body and the grime was gone. Was that really the first priority for her?
Georoald was clicking something on his System. “Let me craft you some shoes, kid.” I leaned over to see him pressing some buttons. A screen popped up over his System.
[Crafting Successful]
[+Boots of Lesser Minor Speed]
“Here you are.” Georoald handed me the pair of shoes and I put them on.
“Thank you, sir.” I tried to sound grateful to get in his good graces. I appreciated the boots, but I just wanted to hitch a ride on the carriage.
“Lesser heal!”
Green energy surrounded me as Ashbry cast another spell on me. I saw my HP increasing. “Thank you, so much, everyone. I didn’t expect to receive such kindness from strangers. I can’t thank you all enough. You gave me footwear, healed me, and even cleaned me. Thank you!”
“Don’t mention it, kid.” They all got on the carriage and rode off.
“Hey!” They were just going to leave me? I started chasing after them. “Where are you lot going?” I shouted.
“We’re off to the King’s city, just like you,” replied Ashbry from inside the carriage.
“And you’re not going to offer me a ride?” I was surprised I was keeping up with the moving carriage. It wasn’t going fast but my legs were small. It was impressive that I could keep up, though I was running at full speed.
“I thought you were on a walk? You won’t get any exercise if we let you on.”
“But I’m tired! Wont you please let me hitch a ride?”
“Why didn’t you just say so?” The trio slowed down the carriage and allowed me on.
I laid on the wooden floor and gasped for air. I was knackered. My eyes shut and I began to drift off. The path was bumpy, so I was experiencing several traumatic head injuries as I tried to rest.
“Are you sleepy, little one?” Jugemu asked.
“I haven’t been able to sleep at all.” There was no need for me to play up how exhausted I was; it was evident.
“You poor thing. Would you like to come and sleep on your big sister’s lap?” said Ashbry. She patted her thighs.
“But I don’t have a big sister.”
She chuckled. “I’m talking about me. Wouldn’t you find resting your head on a beautiful woman’s lap pillow to be better than the floor?”
“Lap pillow?” Now that she mentioned it, that sounded good. “What if all three of you sat side by side and made a lap bed for me?”
Ashbry seemed hesitant to accept, but the others agreed without protest. I think she was most disappointed that I used Jugemu as my headrest and her as my footrest. His giant thighs were far too comfy to resist.
As I slept, I had a vivid dream. Before me appeared an invisible body with qi flowing through its meridians. I could reach out and touch them. I could see the trajectory and shape. My brain felt as if it was experiencing something that I had always understood but never felt.
I’d never had dreams this vivid before. The only catalyst for it that I could think of was my points in Mind.
Then the invisible body morphed into a rat. I saw it had all the same meridians as a human body, but the directions were different. The lines and length were dissimilar but still fundamentally the same as a human body. I closely examined it and figured out that I could use acupuncture on a giant rat. In fact, I could use acupuncture on anything. All creatures had these meridians, but just in different forms.
I imagined the invisible body shifting into a half-emu. My knowledge expanded.
I imagined a half-demon next, then a half-elf, then—
“There’s a low-level monster out here!” A squawking voice woke me.
“No! Damnit. I was in the middle of learning so much.” I strained my eyes to look around. Georoald and Ashbry were playing a game of chess on my belly. “I’m awake, guys.”
“We’ll call it a draw then,” Ashbry said.
“DRAW? It’s mate in one! Make your move and I’ll win.”
“I need to take care of the monster that the griffon spotted.” She got up and stretched her legs.
I removed the chess board delicately and arose as well. “There’s no need. Let me take care of it. I’ve just reached an enlightened state. Thanks to that dream, I can perform acupuncture on any creature now.”
“Acupuncture? What’s that?” asked Jugemu.
“It’s a form of alternative medicine that allows me to do certain things like alleviate pain and also knockout enemies.”
My three saviours looked at each other incredulously. “Right… well you just stay put. We’ll go deal with the problem.”
“I’m serious! I can perform it on one of you to prove it.”
Jugemu said, “Well if it can reduce pain, I’d like to have you try it on me. For some reason, I have a lot of neck pain.”
I tilted my head skyward. “I wonder why…” The half-emu was constantly craning his neck to look down at things. “Lay down, and I’ll get to work.”
Jugemu laid face down in the stationary carriage.
I cleaned and sterilised my acupuncture needles. “Neck pain is linked to the Big Toe meridian.” I placed needles along the meridian at specific pressure points. “Do your best to relax during this process.”
“A little hard to relax when I’m getting stabbed,” I heard Jugemu’s muffled voice say.
Ashbry and Georoald watched from the sidelines in fascination. They had never seen a treatment like this in their entire lives. I had pierced Jugemu’s skin in many different locations. Each needle was stuck in halfway while the rest protruded out.
“You two wanna try flicking the needles?” I asked.
They were both horrified and intrigued by my question. As I worked on the Big Toe meridian, the other two agitated the needles inside Jugemu. After 30 minutes, the treatment was complete.
Jugemu was up on his feet, swinging his neck around. “I don’t feel any pain at all. This is amazing!”
Ashbry applauded. “Incredible! My school never taught me about anything like this. I have much to learn as a healer.”
Georoald nodded his head with folded arms. “You truly are an expert acupuncturist. Forgive me for doubting you.”
Jugemu pulled out a coin purse and dropped it in my hands. “I wish I could give you more, but this is all I have on me. No amount of massage therapy has ever soothed my pain as much as you just did. I am in your debt.”
I opened the pouch and started drooling. “How much is in here?”
“Only 1076 GP I’m afraid, master acupuncturist.”
Only? This was so much money to me but a pittance to him. All this time I could’ve been making a killing doing acupuncture? Plus, the respect I was being given felt amazing. I didn’t have to lie to earn this recognition. I got it through my own real efforts. I was already planning on opening an acupuncture clinic when I got back to the city. I could probably rent out an office with all these gold pieces.
“Anyway, you said you wanted to take care of the monster yourself, master?”
“Ah, yes! I can perform acupuncture on any creature now, including monsters. Therefore, I shall handle it myself.” I stepped out of the carriage and confronted the monster that blocked the way. “I’ll knock it out with one blow to the neck,” I said with utmost confidence.
The monster I saw was a blue blob.
My saviours gathered behind me. “Prepare to face the might of a master, slime!”
This was a slime? It was very cute; I gave it that. I held my needle in my hand. But how the hell was I supposed to perform acupuncture on it? This thing had no meridians at all. It was just a blob.
Ashbry cheered me on. “Get to stabbing, master. Show that thing what an expert acupuncturist can do!”
“O—of course!” What the hell was I supposed to do? I held my needle up and stabbed the slime. Nothing happened. Of course, nothing happened because it was just a ball of slime.
“I’m so impressed by the master’s technique,” said Georoald.
Please don’t be, I thought. I stabbed the slime again. My arm sunk into it. That wasn’t good. I tried to yank my arm out, but it was stuck. Up to my elbow, I was enveloped in slime.
“He’s taking his time, like a skilled chef slow-roasting winter squash.”
My arm being stuck wasn’t the main problem. The biggest issue was that more of me was being sucked into the slime. I wiggled my hand inside it, hoping that the needle would cause it pain, but it didn’t. It was a slime with no central nervous system. It seemed completely incapable of feeling pain. The slime was now up to my shoulder.
Ashbry whispered to her comrades, “Is he alright? Defeating a slime should be simple. Why is he taking so long?”
Jugemu tutted. “A beginner cannot understand the machinations of a true master.”
The slime had my whole torso inside it. I wanted to ask for help, but the shame would have killed me.
Georoald cleared his throat and asked me, “Perhaps the master acupuncturist is in need of some help?”
“Not at all!” I shouted. “This is my process. Trust in it.” Why didn’t I accept the help? I needed it badly, but it felt so awkward after all the bravado I had shown. My entire body, apart from my head, was now inside the slime. “You know, this feels kinda good.”
Ashbry advised, “You shouldn’t stay in there too long. At the moment, the slime is feasting on your outer layer of dead skin, but once it starts dissolving your body, it will hurt very badly.”
“Ah yes. That makes sense. Let me just get out.” I wiggled my body. That was a bad move because the slime now engulphed my head. I held my breath as my entire body was encased in a blue slime.
“Ok, even I think he needs help now,” said Jugemu.
Ashbry pulled out a straw and stuck it into the slime. She blew into one end and filled the slime with air from her lungs. The slime inflated like a balloon and started floating upwards. Unfortunately, I started floating too. I envisioned myself floating through the sky, for all eternity, in a slime balloon. Thankfully, Jugemu grabbed my hand and tethered me to the ground. While heaving for breath, I managed to eke out, “Thanks for the help.”
“Don’t mention it,” said Ashbry. “As in none of us should ever mention this again. This was super weird.”
“Yeah,” I said while catching my breath. “What was that straw by the way?”
“Oh this?” Ashbry pointed to her red and white, striped straw. “It’s a magical item. You can create floating air by blowing into it. Great for parties.”
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