I arrived at Penrin’s residence just before 8PM, the agreed upon time. A carriage had already been prepared outside the house. It was far fancier and more luxurious than any carriage I had seen before. The carriage driver wore a top hat and suit. “Hi,” I said to him.
He gave me a glance and looked at me as if I was filth. No other response came from him.
“Ah, you must be an introvert.” It seemed as if the carriage driver did not like non-nobles like me. I twiddled my thumbs while waiting.
After a few minutes, Penrin’s mother, Frome, exited the mansion. She was beautiful. Her straight black hair flowed to her waist. She wore glossy black lipstick, dark eyeshadow, and thin-framed glasses. The end of her hair had a red-scrunchie which matched her gorgeous red dress. It was tight-fitting but modestly showed little skin. She walked elegantly in open-toed black heels. Her earrings and necklace were both pure silver fitted with red rubies. At age 52 she was at the prime of her beauty.
Penrin was also dressed nicely, probably.
I wondered if I might seem out of place at this soiree since I wore cargo shorts and a t-shirt. My shorts were black, but the three hems were coloured white. Inversely, my shirt was coloured white, but the edges were trimmed black. It wasn’t exactly my style. It was Loftus who bought them for me on my first day in this world.
“I’m glad you came, little hero. You’re looking quite dashing.” Frome’s compliment was genuine, but she was still talking down to me. She thought of me as a child.
I kneeled before her, held her fingers, and kissed the back of her hand. “My looks pale in comparison to yours.”
Frome covered her mouth and chuckled which amplified the crow’s feet on her face. “How could a wrinkly old lady like me compare to the beauty of youth?”
I released her hand and stood to meet her gaze. “No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in your autumnal face.” Was it considered plagiarism to use John Donne’s words to flirt with a lady?
“Autumnal face?” Frome looked confused. Perhaps poetry wasn’t so big in this world, I thought.
Penrin interrupted the conversation. “He looks like a peasant, Mother. Won’t this just make the harassment from other nobles worse?”
“Nonsense, you promised a hero at the soiree. He’s practically the main event. It would be shameful if you attended without one. You shouldn’t turn down someone who showed up to help you,” said Frome.
“Yeah, exactly. I showed up to eat delicious food and help you! Show some appreciation,” I said.
“Helping is your second priority then?” Penrin sighed.
Truth be told, I didn’t know how much helping I was going to do. I imagined at the event she would be harassed by other noble kids, but I did not know if it was appropriate for an adult like me to intervene in the matters of children.
“You know where we’re going, right, dear Flitwick?” Frome asked the carriage driver.
Flitwick looked at her as if she was filth. “Get on, scum.”
I realised I wasn’t previously discriminated against for being lower-class. This carriage driver was just an asshole.
We arrived fashionably on-time. The soiree was held at what I would describe as a small palace. The stone exterior was decorated with fine carvings of intricate patterns and mythical animals. Up front there was a lush garden filled with colourful flowers and plant species that I had never seen before. This world shared many things with Earth, but it also had more. I could see red roses. Yet I could also see a strange plant similar to a dandelion but purple in colour and six times the size.
The three of us walked the stone path to the palace. To my side there was a large pond filled with koi fish. These koi were alike to the ones on Earth, but their striking colour was teal instead of orange.
“This place is way too extravagant,” I commented.
“Stop looking like a lost puppy,” said Penrin. “Act with some decorum, will you?”
I straightened up. When we entered, we were led to a large room filled with guests. Overhead there was a great chandelier filled with candles powered by tiny little runes. The guests were all dressed in luxurious clothing. They wore fine dresses and tailored suits, and there I stood in shorts and a t-shirt.
The guests numbered around fifty or so. Most were middle-aged adults, like me.
At the centre of the party, I saw rows of long tables filled with platters of food. The variety and abundance of the feast was enough to make me drool. I wasn’t one to stand on ceremony, so I immediately raced towards the plates. First, I tried the yellow grapes. They were incredibly sour, almost like pineapples. Next, I went for the orange oranges. They tasted the same as on Earth.
Before I had a chance to sample the next dish, someone grabbed my arm. “What are you doing here, peasant boy?” A tall nobleman yanked me away from the food. “Did you sneak in?”
I realised a group of the guests were looking at me as if I were a rat that had somehow burrowed in to eat all the food. “His attire is so drab,” a guest said.
Another asked, “How did he sneak past the guards?”
The nobleman grabbing my arm had a swirly moustache and a monocle. I could tell at first glance that he was hiding his balding head with a combover. I had once employed the same strategy in my previous life.
“Let go of me,” I said. “I was invited here by a friend.”
Penrin rushed over. “He’s with me!” Her mother followed closely behind.
Since the noble was only holding one of my arms, I used my other hand to eat some more food. The next thing to enter my mouth was a peach-sized strawberry. The extra size had reduced the sweetness of the strawberry and made it taste watery. “Hey, do you have smaller versions of these in this world?” I asked the nobleman while pointing at the strawberries.
He looked like he wanted to snap me in half for asking that. He turned back towards Penrin. “I suppose this is the Hero that you’ve constantly been prattling about?”
“Yes,” Penrin said meekly. She was always so fierce and confident when talking to me. It was slightly painful to see her personality become so muted.
The crowd started talking amongst each other. “It’s one of the king’s heroes!”
“Amazing. I haven’t had the chance to meet one yet.”
“I have so many questions to ask him.”
“The ugly hussy actually managed to bring something interesting in.”
The last comment made my ears twitch. Did I hear that correctly?
A different guest muttered, “It’s astounding that Frome had the audacity to show up.”
“She had no choice. She might be an estranged wife, but she’s still a noble.”
“What’s even more surprising is her daughter showing up with her face looking like that.” The guest giggled after her comment.
The nobleman pulled my arm and lofted me towards Penrin. “Keep your dog on a leash, girl.” I stumbled into her and then fell onto the ground.
Penrin bowed to the nobleman. “My apologies.”
The nobleman laughed. “Look at how much humility you’ve learned after being scarred. If only you’d learned how to drop your ego before having your face slashed. Of course, back then you knew your beauty was unmatched so you could act as bratty as you wished. However, now that you’re hideous, you must play the part of the good girl. You know that no one would tolerate you otherwise.”
Penrin kept her head bowed. No one could see her despairing expression but me. “It is as you say,” said Penrin.
“Indeed, it is. Want to know something interesting? Before the incident, your father offered me your hand in marriage. He said your personality needed work but assured me that I was more than capable of correcting you. Your beauty was unrivalled, so I agreed.”
I could see Frome’s fists clenching. I didn’t think she would be satisfied with a slap any longer. She was going to give the man several concussions if no one intervened.
“Your father and I had our wedding planned for the coming month. In one month from today, you would have been my bride.” The man cackled. “Naturally, once you were disfigured, I called off the wedding. I doubt there’s a single noble at all that would court you in this state. Perhaps you can trick this Hero into pitying you enough to marry you?”
The other guests chuckled at the nobleman’s words. “He’s so lucky the marriage wasn’t finalised. Imagine being wedded to that thing.”
“Her personality was seriously so insufferable before. I’m glad she was scarred.”
“She flaunted herself like she was God’s gift to the planet. Not so special now, is she?”
“Her head is still bowed. I wonder if she’s crying under there.”
Penrin gripped her dress tightly while still bowing. She was crying. I was the only one who could see the tears running along her nose. I had expected, when I came to this place, to see noble children giving Penrin a tough time. Kids harassing kids was my prediction. I had never expected it to be adults bullying a ten-year-old girl. Grown men and women were surrounding a child and mocking her. Some of these people had ages up to 70. At that advanced age, they ridiculed the poor girl as if they were no more mature than schoolyard bullies.
And what was that comment about the nobleman taking her as a child bride? The more I learned about this world, the more I loathed it. That a man in his thirties could marry a child was heartbreaking. I could not see a single person around me that cared about Penrin, apart from her mother, whose black lips had turned red from the blood she drew from biting them. She was on the verge of going berserk and losing what little reputation she had.
I didn’t know what the consequences of her attacking the man would be, but I knew it would be bad. In this horrid world, I would not have been surprised if she were made into the nobleman’s slave for such a crime.
I slapped my knees and got up from the floor. I had always thought it to be the duty of adults to protect children. No matter how annoying or aggravating, the weak and innocent were to be protected. Even those children that sang Baby Shark over and over until I wanted to claw my ears out, even they deserved to be protected.
“She’s no longer marrying you then? Sounds like she dodged a bullet.” I walked over and stood between the nobleman and Penrin.
“What was that?” The man turned his attention towards me instead of insulting the poor girl some more.
“I can’t imagine a worser fate than being betrothed to a man so embarrassed by his balding head that he must try to shamefully cover it with what little hair he has left.” I dealt damage to my past self with that remark. I felt like a captain sinking his own ship to drown his crew. I had hurt myself to hurt another.
I heard a few titters from the guests. The now furious nobleman stood over me. As an intimidation tactic, he leaned down towards my face and said, “I recommend you watch your mouth, boy.”
I pinched my nose and replied, “I recommend you watch your breath. Do nobles not know how to brush their teeth?”
More stifled laughter came from the guests. Penrin had taken the opportunity to wipe her face and regain her composure. Frome was still ready to kill.
The nobleman’s anger stirred further. “You are quite impudent, aren’t you? I suppose that you think you’re immune to consequences due to being one of the king’s chosen. But what proof do we have that you really are one of these so-called Heroes? Am I to believe that you are, simply because this minx said as much?”
“How do you want me to prove it?” I prayed that he wouldn’t ask me to show my System. The only evidence I would be showing is how I was actually a villain and not a hero.
“It is said that those with the Hero title can know certain information about people without asking. Take age, for example; if you can tell me the correct ages of several people, I’ll believe you are a Hero.”
“Very well.” I looked around at the guests and then pointed at one. “That woman over there is 42.”
The woman was startled. “Correct! How spectacular.”
“That man over there is 29.” I pointed to another person.
“Indeed!” he replied. “How did you know that? The king’s heroes are fascinating, truly.”
“That woman is 24, that man in the tan suit is 63, the gentleman in black is 58, the lady in blue is 67…” I correctly named the ages of a dozen or so people. The whole crowd was amazed. They all seemed eager to learn more about Heroes. “And lastly, you are 52 years old,” I said while pointing at the haughty nobleman.
He laughed. “Wrong! I’m 36 and not a year older. It seems that your abilities are not as infallible as they seem.”
I tilted my head and said as innocently as I could, “But it says 52 above your head, that’s strange."
“Your ability has failed. Your answer is incorrect.” The nobleman folded his arms and stared at me smugly.
The guests started gossiping. “It worked for everyone else. Do you think he’s lying about being 36?”
“I’ve always thought that he looked much older than he claimed to be.”
“52 seems closer to his physical appearance than 36 does. He’s trying to save face by pretending he’s 36. The Hero can see his real age.”
“How embarrassing is that? For his real age to be outed by the Hero he accused of being false. What a riot.”
The nobleman became flustered. “No, you’re all mistaken! His ability must have made an error. I really am 36!”
No one believed him. They chatted about how pathetic it was for him to hide his real age.
The nobleman clamoured for everyone’s attention. He desperately tried to convince them that my ability was erroneous. As he did, his eyes landed on me, and I gave him a mischievous smirk. I knew he really was 36 years old, but it was funny to mess with him.
“Why you! Deceiving little wretch!” The nobleman grabbed me with one hand by the collar and lifted me into the air. Veins popped out on his forehead. “You will regret this. Do you have any idea who I am?”
I shrugged. “The Demon King?”
“What? No! Of course not.”
“Sorry, they told me the Demon King was a nasty, ugly and vile individual, so I just assumed you were him.”
The bystanding nobles no longer tried to hide their amusement. They were enjoying how greatly entertaining the situation was.
The nobleman used both hands to hoist me further into the air. “I am Duke Gosport, the highest of nobility, and the host of this soiree. Today is the day you learn respect, boy! I will be the one to teach it to you.”
“Please stop!” The prince, Newmill rushed out of the crowd and grabbed a hold of me. He pulled me down and begged the nobleman, “Please have mercy. My friend is unaccustomed to the conventions of our world. He meant you no wrong, Duke Gosport.”
The duke released me. It seemed that even nobility was afraid of royalty.
Gosport said, “Why am I not surprised? The failed prince befriending a Hero.”
Never mind, he was not afraid of royalty.
“Aren’t you ashamed to be only level 9 at your age? You’ve accomplished nothing, despite having all the advantages of royalty. Your father, the King, does not want you. Your siblings are embarrassed to be related to you, and your concubine mother wishes you dead. You’re worth nothing as you are, so perhaps you’d be better off putting your effeminate nature to use by dressing up as a woman. That way, you can secure an alliance by marrying a real man.”
A thought appeared in my head. “Wait, you said you were going to marry Penrin. Does that mean at age 52 you’re still unmarried. Damn, no one wants you, huh?” Again, I dealt damage to myself. I was unmarried at 45. “Also, isn’t it a little weird that a gramps like you is so interested in the love-lives of children?”
“I am not 52!” Gosport stomped his foot and then regained his composure. “Ah, whatever. Forget it. What does my age matter? I have levels, I don’t have an unsightly scar on my face, and I have far more wealth than anyone here.”
I whispered to Newmill, “Notice how he said nothing of intellect.” Newmill chortled and tried to cover his mouth.
Gosport walked over to Penrin. “From now on, I suggest you refrain from inviting uncivilised creatures here.”
Penrin nodded. “Yes, Duke.” She was still obedient but looking far more confident than before. I guess the humiliation of the duke had brought some light back into her eyes.
“Ugh, it really is revolting being so close to your grotesque visage. It’s almost admirable that you still appear in public looking like that.” He laughed to himself but no one else was joining in anymore. “Oh right, I brought a gift for you.” Gosport gave Penrin a flyer. “It’s a recruitment poster for the circus. I imagine you would fit in nicely between the donkeys. After all, you have a face that even a mother couldn’t love.”
I saw Frome raise her fist to strike the despicable Gosport, but her fist froze mid-air. And so did everything else.
[Charmer title activated.]
Oh no… not this again. A twenty second timer popped up.
[Choose the correct dialogue option for a reward.]
[Forgive me and my transgressions, Duke Gosport. I swear fealty to you now and forever. Allow me to serve as your retainer. Do the soles of your boots need licking?]
[Hear me now! Hear me now! I’ve planted several bombs around the city, and I plan to detonate them unless my demands are met. Bring me 500 cigarettes.]
[Oi Gozzy! Fight me! Right here, right now! I realise that you’re level 40 and I’m level 15, but I don’t care. I am HIM. I can win! You’re a duke, right? So put up your dukes!]
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