The leader of the fighters was a bare-chested 29-year-old man named Keswick. Muscles bulged with every movement he made. He was clad in an armour of flesh, everywhere except his legs, which were unnaturally skinny. Worryingly so. I was surprised they were even capable of holding his torso up. On his ankle in small black text was written, ‘I don’t beleive in leg day.’ The misspelled tattoo was certainly a bold choice.
“Ready to fight, little mage?” Keswick asked.
I shook my head and my hands violently. “No! I’m not here to fight. I was just interested in what was going on, and I wanted to say hi to my older sister.”
“I didn’t realise Eppy had a younger brother.”
“I don’t!” Eppy shouted. “He’s just messing with you.” Eppy grabbed my shoulders from behind and squeezed. “Right, kid?”
“Right…” I felt an unnatural heat coming from her palms. She wouldn’t set me on fire for kidding around, would she? I didn’t want to test her patience.
She leaned in close and whispered to my ear, “And you’ll join our side and fight for us too, won’t you?”
“Hey, hey! That’s taking things too far.” I wasn’t going to get my butt kicked for her. “I’d rather you burn me alive than get into a duel with an expert fighter who would pummel me to a painful death.”
Eppy took her hands off of me and lit a cigarette with a flame from her fingertips. After taking a puff she asked, “Do you not want to fight because you’re scared of getting hurt or because you’re scared of the pain?”
“Both!” I looked at the two defeated individuals within the transparent shimmering dome. One of them was a mage who was bloodied from receiving axe wounds. The other was a fighter who was charred from fire magic. I did not want to end up like either of them.
Eppy blew second-hand smoke down at me. “So, if I set up the fight so that you wouldn’t be hurt at all and your pain would be lessened, would you fight then?”
Was that even possible? How could I duel someone and not be hurt? Those two in the ring certainly looked like they were hurt.
“If the kid’s not fighting, tie him up and put a sock in his mouth, Eppy. He looks like a tattletale.” Ew, no. That was an unhygienic fate I was adamant about avoiding. I carefully scoured the surrounding area for an escape route.
Keswick did not have a good impression of me, and rightfully so. I had no qualms about snitching. Two students who needed medical attention were lying unconscious in the middle of a bubble while we were having a casual conversation. That was simply cruel. I would snitch on these people the second I got a chance.
“What will it be then, kid? A fight where you won’t get hurt, or my sock stuffed in your mouth?” Eppy smiled down at me smugly. She knew that there was no choice for me to make. I had to pick the fight.
What she didn’t know was that I had a third option. I hadn’t come here alone. I had accomplices. My allies could call a teacher over to save me while I stalled. I would have to subtly use body language to express what I wanted. I glanced over at Newmill and Penrin for help. They were eating popcorn. Why? Where did they even get popcorn from?
“Come and get some popcorn. Only 5 GP!” A popcorn vendor had constructed a makeshift stand out of nowhere. Beside him was a mage that he had convinced to pop the corn with fire magic.
I turned back towards Newmill and Penrin. My eyebrows wiggled and jiggled in an attempt to convey my message. I even mouthed the words, “I need help.”
Newmill gave me a thumbs up. “Good luck in the duel.” I was stupid to expect Newmill to figure it out. He was only just barely as smart as me, which was impressive for a 12-year-old, but not helpful.
Penrin was my only hope left. On my right hand, I closed my three central fingers and outstretched my pinkie and thumb. I put the hand up to my ear and shook it. I was imitating holding up a phone. The message was clear: call for help.
The girl tried her very best to decode my message. I could see the gears turning in her mind. She pieced together the clues that I had given her and then it finally clicked. Her eyes widened when she realised. “You’re right, Yarm. A saltshaker would be good. This popcorn is too bland.”
That wasn’t it! I had thought that Penrin would be smart enough to get my secret message, but it flew over her head. Why would she think I was signalling a saltshaker of all things? No wait, I once again came to the realisation that I was the moron. Of course she didn’t understand what I was saying. They didn’t have phones in this world.
More people had filed into the boxed-off area that we occupied. “The Mages Society and the Fighters Club are going at it again,” one of the spectators said.
“Did I miss the duel between mister chicken legs and the chain-smoker?”
“I’m new here. Can someone tell me what’s going on?”
It seemed as if, not only was I going to have to fight, but I would have to face the humiliation of losing in front of all these people. At the very least I was promised not to get hurt. More and more students came through the alleyway and sat on the sidelines, eager to watch a fight. There was a dreadful feeling in my stomach that only grew. That was until I saw a professor come through the alley with a stern look on his face. Relief washed over me.
His age and anger both played a role in covering his face with creases. Bushy eyebrows converged at his nose. The teacher walked with stomps as opposed to steps. With each stride, the grass beneath his feet was crushed flat. He moodily moved towards Eppy and Keswick. I could already imagine the scolding he had in store for them.
However, he did not stop when he arrived, instead he carried on. He walked straight past them and approached the popcorn seller. “Please tell me you have sweet and salty, this time. I’m tired of your flavourless popcorn.”
This was too much. Even the professor turned a blind eye to my plight? “Oi, teach! Why did you come here?” I shouted at him.
He swivelled his head to me with his cheeks full of popcorn. “Are you talking to me?”
“Yes! Who else would I be talking to?”
He swallowed the popcorn in his mouth and almost choked trying to get it all down. Then he filled up his cheeks with more popcorn.
“Stop eating and answer me!”
He spoke with his mouth full, “A student told me there was a fight happening here.” Chunks of popcorn flew out of his mouth, but he quickly replaced them with more. He somewhat resembled a chipmunk. A balding, greying, senile chipmunk.
“And you came here to stop it, right?” I asked.
He looked to his left and then his right. “Me? No. I came to watch. It’s not often that you get to see students battling it out.”
This guy was the worst kind of teacher that I could imagine. They allowed rules to be broken for their own entertainment. They were the type to ignore bullying or even encourage it. “You know duelling is prohibited but you still allow it? Say goodbye to your job. I’m reporting you to the dean. You’re not going to get away with this.”
The teacher paused his munching and tilted his head in confusion. “But I am the dean…”
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