That even the dean was fine with students fighting was outrageous. Who was I supposed to report him to? The King? It ultimately meant that I had no better choice than to accept this duel. “Eppy, I accept the match, but how is it that I’m not going to get hurt or feel pain during this fight?”
Eppy pointed at the dome that two students were unconscious inside. It had a diameter of 20 metres, give or take. “See that? It’s a portable rune matrix for mock battles and duelling. Within it, any damage you take is not real. You’ll see your HP reducing, but it’s an illusion. When your HP reaches zero, you fall unconscious. We’ll pull you out, and when your body leaves the bubble, you’ll wake up with no injuries. Plus, the dome has a pain reduction effect, so you’ll feel less pain from any attack you receive.”
I was impressed. This dome certainly was more sophisticated than I expected. I had imagined it was just there to represent the outer bounds of the battle arena. I didn’t realise it was capable of creating a harmless place for combat to occur. It mildly reminded me of that newfangled VR stuff.
“Thanks for the explanation. That puts me at ease. I’m glad that I won’t hurt someone else during the fight.” And I was even more glad that I wouldn’t be hurt. Realistically, I had no chance against a seasoned fighter in a fair match. Though, the unique circumstances of the battle had upped my chances of winning. If I didn’t feel pain and I couldn’t be hurt, then I could throw caution to the wind and just charge at my opponent. Any damage I took would not be real. By not worrying about my own safety, I could just jam my needle into my opponent’s neck while they attacked me. “Who will I be fighting?” I asked.
“Me.” A half-giraffe with a metre-tall neck came out to meet me. He was covered in yellow fur and dark spots. His entire height was approximately 3 metres. My strategy was immediately thwarted. There was no way I was getting to the pressure point on the neck of this half-giraffe. Not without a high jump. Just the way he towered over me was intimidating enough. I had to raise my chin to the sky to see the half-giraffe’s overhead display.
[Upton]
[Age: 19]
[Level: 20]
“Nice to meet you, Upton. I’m Yarm.” In Upton’s presence, I felt like an ant. An ant with a strange thought. “This may be a rude question, but how do you brush your teeth?”
The half-giraffe coiled his neck down like a spring and reduced its size considerably. “Like this,” he answered.
“Oh.” The flexibility of Upton’s neck was striking. In that sense, his neck was more similar to a snake than a giraffe. “Thank you. No further questions.”
“Shall we begin then?”
The two of us stood at opposing ends of the dome. Eppy massaged my shoulders and gave me pointers like a boxer’s second. Upton laid down on his side and had a team of people massaging his neck. He had a greater number of ringside cornermen than I did.
We stared each other down before our match. “Eppy, can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” she said while tapping my shoulders with her fists. “Do you want to know his weaknesses?”
“No,” I said. There was something more important in my mind. “Why are those two unconscious people still in the dome?” It was concerning how long they had been left there. If someone dragged their bodies out, they would wake up without any injuries. Why were they being left to dry out in the middle of the ring?
“Leave them. That’s their punishment for having the audacity to draw.”
“That’s crazy. Are you expecting me to fight while trying not to step on their bodies?”
“Not at all. I want you to step on them! Kick them around a little while you’re out there.”
Eppy definitely had a screw loose. Maybe two, now that I thought of it. I kept feeling cigarette smoke being puffed against the back of my head as she explained to me how I should fight.
“Once you’ve got him off balance, hit him with a fireball. Then, when he’s putting out the flames, create ice at his feet so he can’t move. After that, just whack him with wind until he falls over and—”
“Eppy, I told you already, I’m not a mage. I can’t use magic.”
“Don’t be so pessimistic. Everyone can use magic. It’s about whether or not you’re willing to put in the effort.” Eppy began scrawling something on a piece of paper. “First, I recommend reading The Beginner’s Guide to the Arcane. Then you should read Fire Away, Fire Away. Or maybe…” she trailed off.
“Ok, that’s cool and all, but I can’t learn that right now, can I?”
“Guess not. Well just try your best then.” Eppy pushed me into the dome and caused me to trip, landing face-first into the ground. Upton simply stepped in from the other side.
An announcer appeared out of nowhere and appointed himself the referee. Into a megaphone rune he announced, “On the fighter’s side, we have Upton the half-giraffe. He is a veteran fighter who has made a name for himself by only killing weak monsters to level up. Rumours say that he hasn’t killed a monster above level 3.”
For some reason, the crowd cheered that defamatory introduction.
“On the mage’s side, we have Yarm the otherworlder. His accomplishments include losing an unlosable debate, and not much else, really.”
The audience cheered for me, just as loud. Through the cheering, I heard music. I got distracted by a school band that had appeared. They played instruments with some skill and some clumsiness.
“Let the fight begin!” the announcer announced.
I brought my attention back to my opponent. While I was turned away, Upton had drawn a crossbow out of nowhere. He fired it directly at me and I did not have time to dodge. The bolt flew through the air and hit me in the thigh. It pierced straight through and left an almond-sized hole in my leg.
[-34 HP]
“OW! OW! THIS HURTS!” I screamed. I collapse to the ground and put pressure on the wound. “This is so painful!” I could feel the blood oozing out of me. The pain had me on the verge of fainting. My eyes darted towards Eppy for an explanation. “I thought you said I wouldn’t feel pain? Why does it feel like my leg’s on fire?”
Eppy raised one eyebrow and lowered the other. “I told you the dome reduces pain. It doesn’t negate it completely.”
“Ouch. My leg hurts so bad. There’s no way this dome is working properly. How much is the pain reduced by?”
“One percent.”
“That’s it? Only one percent? That’s barely anything!” I cast Cleanse on myself to stop the bleeding.
[Mana: 50/60]
Blood stopped leaking out, but I still felt some of the pain. “If this is the way things are, I give up!” I shouted loud enough for everyone to hear. “I forfeit. If I have to experience pain like this then I’m not fighting. I don’t care if the injury isn’t real; it still hurts. I surrender this match.”
The whole audience fell silent. They listened to me complain about my leg and cry from the pain. My attempt to quit the match came as a surprise to them all.
The announcer cleared his throat and said, “It seems that Yarm has surrendered. Unfortunately, it seems that he doesn’t know you cannot forfeit duels like this. This is a mock deathmatch. A loss only occurs when one person’s HP is reduced to zero.”
There was a rule like that? Why was I never informed of these things prior? Did people get a kick out of me not knowing what was happening?
“Don’t be such a coward, Yarm,” Eppy yelled. “Set that nitwit fighter ablaze with a fireball!”
I saw my opponent loading up another bolt into his crossbow. This was bad. Previously, the bolt came out so fast that I couldn’t dodge it. If he fired another one at me, I would have to go through that immense pain again. I looked for cover, but there was none. This was an arena barren of any objects.
I heard a click as Upton loaded his crossbow. He was ready to fire his shot.
I was not ready to receive it. I couldn’t dodge, and there was nowhere for me to take cover. I couldn’t even make a mad dash for Upton as he was too far. This was a nightmare. Wait a minute, I realised there was cover. I ran toward the centre of the ring as Upton lifted his crossbow towards me. He coiled his neck down so that he could aim better. His long neck made it so that firing a weapon normally was inaccurate.
I made it to the arena’s centre where two bodies lied. I cast Cleanse on the mage.
[Mana: 40/60]
The mage’s eyes slowly opened as he was cleansed of unconsciousness. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Is it morning, already?” He let out a yawn and then a crossbow bolt lodged itself inside his head, killing him instantly. Well, mock killing. The mage’s body fell to the ground again.
I placed my hands together and gave the mage a mock prayer for saving me.
The crowd loved what I had done.
“What ingenuity to use the previously defeated combatants as human shields,” said the announcer. “Is that even allowed?”
Some members of the audience started chanting my name and others booed me for cheating.
I was now close enough that Upton couldn’t reload his crossbow. I could easily sprint over to him in the time it would take him to load in another bolt. Knowing that, Upton pulled out a retractable staff. It was folded into three parts and then connected into one large piece of wood. The wooden staff had a large glowing crystal at the top. It emitted particles of light and swirled with flowing energy.
I pointed accusatorily at the man. “Is that a magical staff? This isn’t fair. I thought you were a fighter?”
Upton skilfully twirled the staff around his arm. “You’re right. This is a magical staff. However, I don’t use it for magic. I use it to hit people.”
What? Why? Why would he do that? What was the point? Was he an idiot? “Does attacking with it imbue your strikes with magic or something?”
“Nope. It’s literally worse than just using a regular stick to fight.”
“Then why?” I asked with genuine confusion.
“It’s a statement piece.” He spun the staff around some more. “Stylish, right?”
Yup. He was an idiot.
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