A Person with Morals gets Transported to Another World [LitRPG] [Satire]

“Any questions?” asked the headmaster from his floating platform.

Many metres away from me, a student raised their hand. The headmaster hovered down to them and pointed the microphone in their direction. The student asked, “Can I choose another armour item? I think I made a mistake.” Atop the student’s head was a green sombrero.

“No refunds,” said the headmaster. It was the headmaster’s fault that many felt cheated, since he didn’t explain the contest at all. Though, it was necessary for him to pretend as if he had done it on purpose. “Any other questions?”

Another student raised their hand and the headmaster hovered over. “Headmaster, my skirt is red. You don’t expect me to take it off to avoid losing, do you?” The girl feigned a damsel act. She pinched the hem of her skirt. “What a dirty old man you are, to think of a contest where I must undress.”

The headmaster stared at her with a deadpan expression combined with disgust. “The colour system is only for what is conjured by the obstacle course. Keep your clothes on, missy.”

The girl became disappointed. “Aww.”

Was it just my imagination, or was the number of exhibitionist flashers much higher in this world?

Another student called the headmaster and said, “These armour pieces aren’t fashionable at all. Can I have something that isn’t so ugly? I would rather lose than be caught wearing this.” She held up a pair of green trousers and dangled them.

“Then lose,” responded the headmaster.

“Can I use my crossbow if I rubber tip the bolts?” asked another.

“Outside weaponry is disallowed,” said the headmaster and then floated to the next person.

A student with a sadistic smile said, “Can I cast an illusion spell on the other students to make them think that their families are being brutally murdered before their very eyes?”

The horrified headmaster said, “No. Of course not. What is wrong with you? In fact, new rule: casting spells on others is disallowed.”

A short girl said, “I really want to win, but my chances are looking slim. Do you take bribes?”

“Yes, but you can’t afford the price,” replied the headmaster before moving on.

“Do you think I look better with a beard or without?”

“You look awful either way.”

“Can I have a ride on your floating booth?”

“Sure, if you’ll let me drop you off into the water.”

The next person to ask a question was I. There was something that had been on my mind during this whole scenario. I asked, “Headmaster, how have you done all this? You summoned an obstacle course that takes up the entire school. You even made seats for spectators and a huge amount of water below. To top it all off, you’re on a floating platform. You must be a great mage to accomplish all this.”

The headmaster would have had to cast many different types of spells and maintain them too. To have such mastery over so many schools of magic was highly impressive.

“Oh, all this? I hardly did anything,” he said.

I wasn’t going to allow him to be modest. My knowledge on magic was still rudimentary, but this was far beyond what even an archmage would be capable of. Not just the scale, but the sheer variety of magic made it a show of immense talent.

The headmaster shook his head and said, “No, seriously, I hardly did anything. This is all a skill from the System.”

“What?” I was confused. “A skill that makes an obstacle course?”

He shook both his hands this time and said, “No. It’s a skill that turns a school into an obstacle course, provided I am the headmaster of that school and I have told at least five lies about students in parent-teacher conferences in the past month.”

“What kind of highly specific criteria is that?” I asked.

The microphone made that answer audible to all. The parents in the spectating areas were not happy, and so the headmaster started getting booed.

Though, I was disappointed that the headmaster hadn’t used his own magical talents to accomplish all this, it did interest me in a way. The System was capable of creating this huge course without any input from the user. It did something that almost all humans were incapable of. Just what was this System thing?

Having had enough of the booing, the headmaster said, “Begin!”

All students immediately jumped into action. One of them literally jumped. A woman with powerful legs leapt into the air from her platform and leapt to another platform. Her massive muscular thighs gave her the ability to skip the obstacles.

From her starting blue platform, she jumped to another safe blue platform, and then to another. Like a frog, she avoided all pathways by using her incredible jumping ability.

With a few hops, she made it to the starting platform of another student who had barely gotten started. With only a glance, anyone could tell that the wimpy boy she faced would not stand a chance.

I expected a Sparta kick from the woman to push the wimpy boy off the edge. However, the woman stole the green scarf that the boy was wearing and then used it to tie him up. She then attached him to her left arm and used him as a human meat shield.

I shuddered knowing that the weak boy could have easily been me, if the starting arrangements were different.

The woman then started jumping to another student. But, at the midpoint of her leap, a green sombrero came flying towards her. She couldn’t dodge the hat midair and so she got hit in the face and fell to the waters below. Upon contact with the water, the woman and the weak boy disappeared.

What remained was a green scarf and a green shirt.

The sombrero did not fall to the waters. It was reeled back by the boy who threw it. He had a fishing rod which he had hooked onto the sombrero before he threw it. After retrieving his hat, he used the fishing rod to try and hook the armour in the water below. He cast his line and aimed for the scarf and shirt.

I realised I was wrong in my initial assumption that people would go for the green objects placed around the course. Instead, it was far better to defeat fellow students and steal their green items.

With my homing darts, it was possible for me to knock out opponents from afar without reducing their HP, but I was not allowed to use outside weaponry. I didn’t think I could play the darts off as medical equipment.

To my left was a path that required me to avoid rotating red horizontal columns. The spinning cylinders moved quickly. To get past them, I would need to jump high and fast repeatedly. It was possible for me to use my hands for leverage, since I had green gloves on, but it would still be tricky.

To my right, the blue footpath did not exist. Instead, there were monkey bars that I needed to grab onto. The monkey bars were coloured blue and red alternately. This meant that a normal person needed to swing through the air to get past it. Luckily, with my gloves, I could just grab onto each bar.

I climbed across the monkey bars, noting how my light body made it much easier for me to get across. Even though I was weak when it came to Body level, I still had the base athleticism of an average child’s body.

While moving across, I heard a cannon blast. To my side, a student had made it to a platform where a green cannon resided. He had aimed the cannon at me, and out of the barrel came a red sponge ball. It flew with speed but had no impact when it hit the platform in front of me.

The student adjusted his aim and fired at me again. This time, the red ball was on a direct course for me. I hung by one arm and used my free hand to catch the ball. I was close enough to the next platform to make it to safety before the cannon had a chance to be reloaded.

When I made it, I realised I had two red sponge balls to do what I wished with. The balls were so light and airy that it would be difficult to throw them at anyone. I would never be able to put enough force into them to hit another student.

But it would have been a waste to simply discard them. I was going to carry them with me through the course. But I thought of a better use for them. I used my gloves to tear holes into the sponge balls and then I shoved my hands into them.

The balls were soft enough for me to move my hands freely inside, and they gave me the ability to touch others to cause them to lose.

I ran along the blue pathway towards one of the green objects. I still couldn’t make out what it was, since it was within a depressed pedestal.

From another path, a different student was coming towards the same object as me. There was going to be a standoff.

I could see that the other student had chosen trousers, but he ripped them in half and wore them like arm sleeves. I wasn’t sure what the point of that was, but he probably had his reasons.

While running, the boy raised both his fists towards his own face and pointed his elbows at me. His elbows began extending towards me at a high speed. The arm sleeve stayed on his elbows so I couldn’t hit them with my red balls. Though, I was able to dodge them.

Was elbow extension a spell or just a quirk of this boy’s biology?

The boy was trying to elbow me off of the blue platform and into the red water below.

When his elbows missed, they started receding. I hooked my elbow into his shortening elbow and used it as a free ride back to the boy. The student watched as he dragged me towards himself. He tried to get me off by extending his arm but that only allowed me to lock my legs around the arm. “Get off me!” he shouted.

The boy brought me to him, and I landed a soft tap with a sponge ball into his face. He disappeared and left his sleeves behind. Unfortunately, the ball I used on him also disappeared. It seemed that after contact with someone, the red cannonballs would fade away.

I didn’t think it was necessary for me to wear the green sleeves, so inside I tied them together and then attached the remaining red ball on my arm to one end. I effectively had a long rope of green with a red ball attached to the end. I could use it to hit another student from a distance.

The headmaster announced to everyone, “Only 100 students remain! What spectacular performances we’ve seen!”

The number of students had reduced very quickly. If only there was a place for me to hide, I would’ve waited out the whole contest. Though, it was probably best to gather as many green interactables to increase my chances at winning, rather than waiting it out.

I stopped hearing cannon blasts and saw that the cannoneer had been taken out by a telekinetic mage. Green and red items swirled around them like a barrier.

Running over to the pedestal, I opened the transparent cover to find a small green water pistol and a slip of paper. The paper note read, ‘This is a placeholder item. Put in a green crossbow with red bolts when the contest starts. PS, this is my daughter’s toy, so don’t damage it.’

I screamed internally. What horrible luck I had. Wasn’t the System the one who made this course? Why did I receive a placeholder item? To make things worse, the pistol was empty. I couldn’t even use it as a distraction tool. It had no use whatsoever.

On second thought, perhaps it wasn’t completely useless. If I could somehow fill the pistol with the red water from below, I could shoot it at opponents. The trouble was that the water was several metres down and I couldn’t reach it without taking a dive.

However, I did have a sponge ball with me. To give the ball some extra reach, I tied my shirt to the green sleeves so I could lower the ball into the water. The sponge ball absorbed the red water as expected. I pulled it up and then squeezed the ball above the pistol’s tank.

The red water filled the pistol. This made the item very useful, but the ball was still wet. I could no longer use it as I wanted. If I hurled around a wet sponge ball, drops of water could accidentally land on me.

Even just a drop would probably be enough to make me disappear, so I couldn’t risk still using the ball. I had to remember that if my shoes were to accidentally step into the puddle I created, I would lose.

To avoid that, I would need some green boots. So for now, I left the ball and sleeves behind. Coming back to them was always a possibility. The only part of my body that was currently wet was my gloves. That was either beneficial or detrimental. Only time could tell which.

“50 students left!” the headmaster shouted.

While I was spending time filling the pistol, other students were collecting all sorts of items.

One student had a green umbrella. One had a spear with a green shaft and red tip. Another had extremely long stilts that they were using to get around by walking through the water. They didn’t last long before someone hurled an item at them. With their balance shifted, they fell into the water.

I looked for a conflict-free path to another green item. To the left, I could crawl through a tunnel with red wire. To the right, was a regular path with a wall alongside it. The wall was full of holes. Within each hole was a boxing glove. On the path, I could see barely perceptible pressure plates.

I could already see a student coming my way from ahead. I quickly went down the right path.

“Get back here, little boy!” the student cackled while chasing me. Considering their speed, they were a Body type.

I dodged the pressure plates while moving through the path.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I just want those gloves and that water squirter of yours.” The student had a green shirt, trousers, and boots. Either they had defeated two people or defeated someone who had defeated someone else.

The student pulled out a half-green and half-red boomerang and threw it at me. Thinking quickly, I stepped on a pressure plate and ducked. The boxing glove came out and punched the boomerang into the water below.

“Oh no! My boomerang!” The student mourned the death of their weapon. While they went through the five stages of grief, I shot out a few drops of water from my pistol on the ground. I made sure to aim for the area that did not have a pressure plate.

I kept running and got to the end. When the boomerang person got to the water droplets, they didn’t even notice them. They were far more focused on avoiding the pressure plates. Their foot landed on a droplet and they disappeared.

Their green shirt had been punched into the water below, but their boots and trousers did remain. Though, the path to get there would be difficult. I would need to avoid the water droplets I had placed by purposefully stepping on the pressure plates.

“Hey, Yarm!” a familiar voice called out to me. A voice that irritated me just from hearing it. It was Loftus. But I had not seen him nearby. I wondered how he got to me. “Down here!” he said.

I looked down and saw Loftus rowing a green boat with two oars.

“I’m glad you’ve survived this long, but I’m going to have to be the one to defeat you,” he said.

I was astonished he had made it past the qualifier after having to flip the cursed coin so many times. It was either a testament to his luck or strength. He was within pistol shooting range, but I wanted to see what he was planning to do.

Loftus pulled out a harpoon with a chain attached to it. He chucked it at me with a surprising amount of strength. The harpoon tip lodged itself in the platform I was standing on.

Meanwhile, Loftus tried to stabilise himself because the throw had made his little boat wobble and take aboard water. He tried his best to not step in it.

“Loftus, watch out!” I yelled.

“What—" He looked up to see a squirt of water from my pistol hitting him in the face. He disappeared.

“10 people left!” the headmaster shouted. I noticed that the headmaster’s floating platform had never hovered near me for the entirety of the contest, and soon I saw why. His attention had been stolen by the stars of this event. “Just look at these two go!” he said.

A green trident was thrown into the top of the belltower, and it stuck itself inside the blue walls. A student draped in green then appeared at the trident out of thin air. He pulled it free and then aimed it at the telekinetic I saw before. Hundreds of red and green objects swirled around the telekinetic girl.

The headmaster said, “It’s an incredible battle between a teleporting fighter and a telekinetic mage! Truly one of these two will be the winner of this contest!”

I couldn’t deny that. The telekinetic looked invulnerable to any attack with their swirling barrier of objects, and the strength with which the teleporter threw that trident to the belltower was intense. I tried devising a strategy to beat them, but my mind was coming up blank.

The headmaster then said, “I’m being told that I’m not allowed to pick favourites, so forget what I just said. Any one of the remaining students could win.” He concealed his laughter badly when amending his statement.

The teleporter launched his trident towards the telekinetic girl. The girl dodged, rightfully assuming her barrier couldn’t defend against the force of the red-tipped trident. When the trident pierced the ground, the teleporter appeared at its location and pulled it free.

The telekinetic propelled a great number of red objects at the teleporting boy, however the boy was fully clad in green. The objects just bounced off of him.

With a swipe of his trident, the objects were flung away. A few students on the wrong side of the course were hit with the stray objects. If I were unlucky enough to have been on that side of the obstacle course, I would have lost.

“What an amazing display of power!” shouted the headmaster. “It’s hard to believe that the two of them are merely level 30. The teleporter has Body strength far superior than what is expected at that level. And the telekinetic is floating so many objects around herself that it’s making me dizzy. I only wish I knew the names of these exceptional students.” The crowd cheered as the two stars fought.

The two danced between platforms. The telekinetic would float green objects beneath her feet to allow her to float. It took a greater deal of mana to do that, but she was left with no choice. The teleporter’s attacks were vicious, and it was foolish to be in close quarters with him.

Both were struggling to make progress towards victory. It seemed their abilities perfectly countered each other. And their MP bars were decreasing at around the same rate. If both were to hit zero, the teleporter would almost certainly win.

“Only 4 students remain!” announced the headmaster.

Somehow by just standing and watching this spectacle, I had made it to the top 4. The other students had either defeated each other or been defeated in the crossfire of the intense battle going on.

I had almost resigned myself to a loss. Watching the two titans battling made me realise just how little strategy was worth in the face of power.

“Do your best, Yarm!” I heard Newmill shout from somewhere. Was he the other remaining student? I looked in the direction of the voice and saw that he was shouting from the spectating benches.

“You lost?” I yelled back.

“I was the first to lose! I tried to jump over a red jump rope and then got caught on it. I only lasted 10 seconds,” he said. I was impressed that he was able to shout his humiliating performance without shame. Penrin was by his side, so I knew she wasn’t the last student either.

Looking around, I couldn’t see the fourth student at all.

A telekinetic blast shot out many red objects towards the teleporter. Unfortunately, I was in the blast zone. I had to swat away the objects to avoid losing. Thankfully, the distance from the blast made it easy for me to protect myself.

The two battling individuals got close to a familiar place. It was where I had initially found the water pistol in my hand. It was also where I filled it up, so there was a puddle there. The telekinetic simply flew over it. I doubt she even noticed.

The teleporter was too focused on the battle, so he didn’t notice either. He ran through the puddle, slipped, hit his head on the platform, cracked his neck, knocked himself out, and then fell off the edge into the water below. His body promptly disappeared.

The cheering audience became silent. Everyone was trying to compute what had just happened. The headmaster hovered in the air above and said, “Uhm…” He was as speechless as everyone else.

Seeing that her nemesis had defeated himself, the telekinetic hopped off her green objects to conserve MP. She hopped off directly onto the puddle that I had made and then immediately disappeared. She had probably noticed the puddle, but she did not realise it was red water, since the teleporter did not disappear on contact with it.

The telekinetic had forgotten that the teleporter’s feet were covered in green too.

Somehow the silence got even more silent.

There were only two audible noises: a crow cawing from atop the belltower, and an old man coughing in the audience. Thinking that he had to mend the mood, the headmaster said, “Well, that was anticlimactic. I’m still not entirely sure what happened.” His hovering booth hovered down to the scene of the accident. “Looks like there’s a puddle of red water on the platform. I wonder how that got there.”

No one really had anything to say. The viewers were all disappointed that they didn’t get to see the epic battle they had hoped to see.

“Ah, I’m getting some extra info,” said the headmaster. “The teleporter is called Stroud and the telekinetic is called Painswick.” He scratched his head. “That would have been nice to know during the battle.”

He was wrong. Those were not their names.

My eyes darted around looking for the last student, but I couldn’t see anyone. There wasn’t any place for someone to hide in this open obstacle course. I kept on looking while the audience lost interest in the contest by the second.

I meandered through the course for 20 minutes. About half of the spectators left due to pure boredom. For some reason, the audience was getting angry with me for not finding anyone. People shouted spots for me to check. I followed their advice since I had nothing better to do, but still the last student couldn’t be found.

After 30 minutes, something finally happened. A random pedestal on the next platform turned into a human. “Ahh, is it over yet?” the boy emerging from the pedestal asked. “I can’t see or hear anything when I’m transformed like that.” The boy had been waiting in hiding for the duration of the contest.

The headmaster was taking a nap and was still unconscious, so he had nothing to announce.

I got a good look at my last opponent and saw that it was Bromley, one of the Earthlings I hated. The boy put on an arrogant smile and said, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Yarm. You’re the last man standing, huh?”

“Don’t forget about the guy behind you,” I pointed over his shoulder.

Bromley quickly snapped his neck back to see if there was someone sneaking up on him. He became embarrassed when he realised that I had tricked him. My joke had the intended effect of wiping the smug smile off of Bromley’s face. “Funny,” he said, deadpan.

I pointed my green pistol at him. He was within range of a water blast.

He immediately held up his hands. “Woah, watch where you point that thing.”

The problem with water pistols was that the jet of water that came out was quite slow. Though, it was probably enough to catch a mage like Bromley. Probably.

“Wait! Don’t shoot. That’s one of the interactable objects, right? I’m guessing it shoots out a red laser or something?” he said.

He was wrong. It was simply the headmaster’s daughter’s toy. “You’re right,” I said. I was having trouble with where to aim. Bromley had chosen the green shirt, which lowered my chances of hitting my target. Once I shot, Bromley would know that this was filled with water, which would make defeating him mildly more difficult.

“Hold on. If you shoot me, I’ll go around telling everyone that you’re the thief who freed over a hundred slaves. You don’t want that, do you? Everyone will hate you and shun you once they find out that you’re that infamous criminal. Your friends will probably abandon you too,” he said, desperately.

It was a childish attempt at saving himself. It almost made me pity him, but he was too horrible of a person to deserve pity.

“Trust me, once people find out, there will be a huge target on your back. It’s not worth it just to win this competition. The prize isn’t even that good anyway. Just forfeit and no one has to know that you’re a criminal.” A nervous laugh came from him.

I would have thought that someone capable of mind control would have a better grasp of other people’s minds than this. It was laughable that he thought that I cared so much for my reputation. Perhaps that was indicative of his own mind.

The last thing he wanted was for people to dislike him, so he thought that I would hate being shunned as much as he did. It was all just projection. I didn’t care if people hated me for saving others. I could never imagine myself being ashamed of the good that I had done.

“Well?” Bromley said. “If that’s not enough then, I’ll tell everyone about the fact that you’re really a 45-year-old man in the body of a child.”

I couldn’t ask for anything more. That was exactly what I wanted others to know. It was becoming clear to me just how much these Earthlings enjoyed being thought of as children.

“I’m going to reveal all your dirty little secrets if you don’t let me win. Give me that pistol or I’ll tell everyone that—”

“Enough,” I said. “Just be quiet, will you?” Listening to the boy going on drove me nuts. “You want this pistol? Have it.” I threw the pistol at Bromley for him to catch.

He started smiling wide, thinking that his stupid plan to blackmail me had worked. I wondered if it was the case that since he used a mind control skill, his actual ability to control people was weak. Just like how a fire mage probably wouldn’t know how to use a tinderbox.

Bromley caught the green water pistol with both hands and then disappeared. Before throwing the pistol, I had popped the lid off the tank. Bromley didn’t know it was filled with red water and so caught it without concern.

It irked me that such an idiot had the ability to control people’s minds.

After a few seconds the headmaster was awakened by something.

“What? What?” he asked to someone. “Ah, a student won?” He peered over his floating platform and descended down when he saw me. “Congratulations! You’ve won today’s Sports Day event. Your name is Modbury, right? How are you feeling?” He pointed the microphone in my direction.

I didn’t mention that he had gotten my name wrong. Something else was on my mind.

The crowd was uninterested in what I had to say. The headmaster was half-asleep. And the only people clapping for me were my teammates. I took a deep breath and said, “I am one of the King’s heroes, and I helped over a hundred slaves escape their bindings.”

Everyone’s attention was caught like flies into webs. From their slouched positions, they suddenly sat upright. Murmurs started spreading around like flies out of webs.

“What did he say?”

“The so-called hero just admitted to that heinous crime.”

“Why would he do such a thing? Weren’t those slaves reserved specifically for the heroes?”

The headmaster brought the mic back to his own mouth and said, “That’s a good joke.” He false laughed. “It seems the winner is a prankster.”

I grabbed the mic and said, “With what means I have, I’m going to try to end monster genocide, slavery, child marriage, public executions—” I was cut off before I could say more. The obstacle course disappeared, and everyone found themselves back on school grounds.

The platforms and water had all disappeared in the blink of an eye.

People had difficulty finding their bearings after being instantaneously teleported like that. Newmill and Penrin ran up to me and congratulated me on my victory. They patted me on the back, ruffled my hair, and squeezed my shoulders. I was being drowned in comforting positivity. It was nice.

The three of us revelled in the joy of winning together for a good few minutes.

Newmill said, “I’m glad we got to end our travels together on a high note.”

“Me too,” said Penrin.

Both of them were happily smiling but their comments filled me with confusion. I said, “What do you mean end our travels? Could it be that you two are tired of me already?”

Penrin said, “I was tired of you a long time ago, but no, not because of that. The end-of-term test is coming up soon, so all of the student body is going to be studying hard. We won’t have time to hang out for a while.”

“I see,” I said. Such exams meant a lot to the students of this school but were near meaningless for me. “Well, good luck with your studying, you two.”

“Aren’t you going to study too, Yarm?” asked Newmill.

“There’s no need,” I said. As a hero, I attended this school on special permissions. I doubted that I would be expelled for failing a test here or there. There was much better stuff for me to spend time on.

Newmill said, “Since you read so fast, I guess you can just cram everything in before the test day, right?”

“Oh yeah, good point.”

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