Adventures of Superguy

July 7, 2010 - Central City

West Family Residence

10:00:06

The blaring of the alarm woke the two tangled sleepers, still nude beneath the thin sheets that covered them in the summer warmth. Walli’s hand slipped out from beneath the cover, darting around like a hyperactive snake as she sought for her phone to silence. Connor stretched and yawned, sitting up as Walli finally found her phone and turned off the alarm. When she turned back to him, she grinned and her eyes glinted like they had last night after turning in for the night. Eyeing his broad and naked chest, she crawled forward and slipped a hand under the covers as she leant up to kiss him.

“Hmph! Hmmm… hm…” he grunted as their tongues wrestled and her questing hand found his morning wood, already tenting the sheets.

“We- hmph, we really shouldn’t…” Connor mumbled into her mouth, unable to summon much disapproval for her intentions in the moment.

“You say that, but this guy is ready to go…” she hummed as her thumb teased the head and he flinched at the sensation. She grinned even wider at his reaction and began to stroke him.

“The point… of setting the alarm, oh!... was so he WOULDN’T walk in on us.” He breathed.

“Relax, he’s probably still bus-”

“Walli! Connor! Breakfast!” Came Rudy’s enthusiastic shout from downstairs. Connor could hear the clinking of plates and glasses as another West family breakfast spread was prepared for the late teenage risers.

Walli froze midstroke, and sighed.

“Speak of the devil…” she moped, releasing his hard on.

“Hey, don’t call your dad the devil. They don’t serve brunch in hell.” He joked.

“Har-de-har. Lastoneintheshowerisarottenegg!” Came her jumbled response as she zipped from the bed and out the bedroom door and into the bathroom with a final slam of the door. 

“Dang it.” Connor said to the suddenly empty room, then scrambled out of bed and put his sleeping clothes back on. 

Wouldn’t want Rudy to find me naked in Walli’s bed now…

Their night time escapades were still undiscovered, much to his relief. As soon as they’d been alone last night after a home-cooked second supper, she’d tended his bruises and then used his state of partial undress to initiate a much longer session. Not that he’d taken much convincing; Walli was both hot and extremely eager. He had been briefly worried she was staking a claim but she’d made no mention of anything permanent with him. They’d taken their time last night but hadn’t gone any further. It was a great time, and it was nice to be so desired, but he wasn’t sure he should go all the way with her right now. She hadn’t asked or pushed for it, so he let things lie. Well, lie as much as they could be when her impossibly fast hands were at work…

Since Walli had beaten him to the shower, he elected to beat her to the food. Rudy’s breakfast spread was even more impressive than yesterday’s. He must have taken the need to feed two meta-human teens as a challenge, and there was nearly double the amount of food as the day before. 

They made small talk in the kitchen as Connor ate, until Walli finally joined them, freshly showered and with a profound look of betrayal to discover him having already claimed and worked his way through half a plate of bacon. She took the remaining plate of bacon and acted as if she had been cut to starvation rations in a Victorian workhouse. Walli gave her father puppy dog eyes until he sighed and opened a new packet of bacon to begin frying up, and she grinned at Connor as if she had won a great victory. He consoled himself with the pile of bacon remaining to him and rolled his eyes at her brattiness.

“So kids, any plans for today?” Rudy asked lightly over his shoulder as he turned the bacon in the pan.

“Ugh, we’re on double-not-so-secret-probation now after the dust up at the mall. Probably best to just stay inside and out of the heat…” Walli answered breezily as she leant back in her chair with her arms behind her head.

“Oh no, missy! You already tried that  yesterday. You’re not loafing around all day watching TV and eating us out of house and home. I’m sure you can find something constructive to do that doesn’t involve getting mixed up with supervillains.” Rudy replied without looking back, waving his tongs for emphasis.

Walli rolled her eyes and breathed a teenagerly sigh.

“Don’t you guys have a Flash Museum?” Connor asked, suddenly inspired.

“A what museum? You mean the Quick Museum?” Walli asked with special emphasis in the first part of the name.

“Lay off! From another universe, remember? The other guy is called the Flash. Actually, he and Jesse have almost the exact same costume, too.” Connor began in the tone of someone just getting started on one of their favorite topics.

“Huh, that’s weird. I’d imagine it would need more, uh, tailoring.” Walli said while making a strange wavy gesture with both hands, like she was outlining something.

It took Connor a long moment of staring at her and processing before he sputtered and choked on his orange juice.

Oh my god! She did the thing! Where you mime a woman’s curves, but for a guy! From the side profile. God, if Flash had a bulge like that, I don’t think heroes would wear spandex…

Walli grinned mischievously at his reaction while Rudy glanced over his shoulder with concern, but Connor just waved him off and wiped his mouth. He glared at Walli, but she was unrepentant. He mouthed ‘very funny’ back to her as she mimed a belly laugh. 

“Like I was saying, you have a Quick Museum, right? I’d love to see that. And what villains are gonna attack there?” He asked innocently.

The look that Walli and even Rudy gave him were incredulous.

“Oh. So they do that here, huh?” Connor asked sheepishly, feeling stupid.

“Yeah, a bit. If they want to piss Auntie Jess off, it's usually the fastest way. History matters to her a lot. Her mom was the first Quick, Jenny Quick, back in the olden days. Her dad was one too, he…” Walli trailed off, frowning.

“...Protocol.” Connor finished for her.

“Yeah, sorry. Don’t tell Auntie Jess I mentioned that, would you?” She asked plaintively. 

He nodded, and she heaved a sigh of relief. 

“I get it. She doesn’t know me, so she only has it on your word that I’m trustworthy. Plus, secret identities should be need to know, and I don’t need to know. I probably know too much already.” He sighed when he finished explaining his understanding.

I know way too much about all of them. Even the ones I don’t know for sure, because this is a different continuity, I could probably guess with enough research and conjecture. I should probably avoid that. Digging into other heroes' identities will just look suspicious, especially if I’m starting with more knowledge than I’m supposed to have. 

And what you don’t know, you can’t be made to tell… he thought, darkly.

Secret identities had seemed such a fun and dramatic convention in the comic books. Looking at Rudy’s back in the delightful West homes’ kitchen, it suddenly seemed far more real and worrying.

What would Captain Cold and the Rogues do if they knew who Walli was? Does the house have security cameras, a panic room, laser turrets in the bushes?

Everything seemed blandly normal and suburban, but that could be a cover. But would anything be enough to stop determined villains come to settle a score?

“The Museum does have good security and protocols. I’ve been there a bunch. Auntie Jess makes me volunteer sorting fan mail when she’s really ticked.” Walli said with a shudder.

“Well, that sounds like a lovely way for you kids to spend some quality time and get out of the house. I just bet no nasty supervillains will stop by today, so get your butts in gear! Time to seize the day!” Rudy ordered, plating the last of the bacon for Walli.

It disappeared before he had even finished speaking.

********

“Jenny Quick made her debut as a superhero in 1941, and joined the homefront defenders of the All-Star Squadron alongside Liberty Bill, Plastic Woman, Doctor Mid-Nite, Hawkwoman, Robotman and the Atom…” the automated voice of the display droned, next to a display of photos, memorabilia, war trophies and seven mannequins wearing the period costumes of the titular heroes. 

Connor takes a series of photos on his new Wayne Tech Eye-Phone, and its large central camera lens takes excellent photos, even through the glare off the display case.

Okay, Batwoman makes a good phone. Chalk another in the column for this universe, next to ‘having superheroes’, ‘giving me a new superpowered body’, and ‘meeting a very cute Flash girl who wants to suck my’-

“OMG can we pleeeease move on? It feels like we’ve been here forever…” Walli groans, and Connor rolls his eyes and decides for the sake of peace (and continued bedroom activities) that’s enough pictures of the exhibit.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is the history of Central City’s greatest defenders boring you, Ms. West?” He asks in a highfalutin tone.

“Its only because I’ve seen it a hundred-thousand-million-billion times! They take school kids in the city here on field trips every year, and I had to spend a whole summer being a docent for them. After I had attended the same tour every year at school! I could repeat the whole thing in my sleep…” She grumped.

“Oof, ok, I can sympathize. Back home, we did the same thing with Plimouth Patuxet Museum. Every year, the same field trip and every year, the same tour.” He grimaces, remembering. It was a pretty interesting trip the first few times, but it was always in spring when the weather was iffy. Elementary and middle school kids on a field trip in the 16th century building replicas wasn’t that much fun, and much worse when spring weather chose to betray them.

“What’s that?” Walli asked, her face screwed up in confusion.

For a beat he just stared at her, and then Connor’s face fell.

“Oh shit, sorry…” She said after seeing his reaction.

He waved her off and sighed.

“You don’t have to apologize. We’ve been over it. Just something I’m gonna have to get used to.” Connor explained.

They had been over it, a lot.

Central City’s Quick Museum was a monument to the legacy of the city’s greatest heroes, tracing their history since the first Jenny Quick down to the latest inheritor of the mantle. Walli had her own annex, and Connor had noted all the articles, videos and awards showed her doing charity work, disaster relief and emergency aid. No fights with supervillains or saving the world for her yet, even though the earliest pictures looked like she was about fifteen when she started.

Questions burned at him but her reaction had shut him down; not here, not now. 

Curiosity about Walli’s personal history aside, the actual history had flummoxed him.

Up to this point, I’ve been assuming its like real world history, with comics stuff layered on top. Kind of like Earth 0 (which is a very biased numbering convention when you think about it). But it’s not…

Every exhibit had a revelation that left him reeling. 

Wonder Woman was depicted in a few team ups with the All-Star Squadron. Not a predecessor of Diana of Themescyra. The woman he had met the other night, the one who stared at him with those perfect eyes, like she could see into his soul. Whose beauty stopped his heart…

He shook himself.

Beguiling. That’s the word for it.

She looked identical in the black and white photos, and in grainy news reels playing on flat screen monitors. Her costume was different, and she styled her hair in period appropriate victory rolls. Her tiara, bracers, and the Lasso remained exactly the same.

How old is Diana?

The possibilities were extensive. She could be a little under a hundred or something like three thousand years old. It was both shocking and not at the same time; the fact seemed outrageous but having met her, he could believe anything about her.

Timelines and continuities clashed in his head. What he knew, or thought he knew, was proven wrong constantly but occasionally he was surprised by being right. 

World War Two had still happened, and a quick view at the Jane Garrick annex had shown him that World War One had also occurred. Beyond that, the 20th century appeared to have broadly followed along with what he knew of history and comics history. 

Except that this world was matriarchal and women dominated pretty much every facet of society.

He had started picking up on that from the get go, but the trip to the mall and the museum was really hammering it home for him. Women working at most of the stores, in business dress while men in fashions he’d considered flamboyant were shopping and pushing strollers. Mary and Rudy West had given him an education in gender roles at  home on this Earth as well. The more he thought about it, the more his hackles raised and he felt panic rising in his gut.

It wasn’t bad. It was different, and it reminded him constantly that he was adrift in an entirely different universe. The presence of superheroes grounded and delighted him, along with his own circumstances. But if he dwelt on the differences too much, he began to feel unmoored. A picture of a female Hitler had almost made him sick.

Walli was a perfect distraction from the existential crisis. She noticed him zoning out early on, and after a hurried explanation in an empty annex, she had clung to him and dragged him away from displays that were undermining his understanding of reality. She had tried to insist they leave and find something else to do, but he refused and determinedly soldiered on. His disassociation and geekery over being at the real Quick Museum warred constantly. If something truly shocked him and he couldn’t look away, she had discovered that a sultry whisper of basically anything into his ear would bring him back to reality.

When I’m more settled, I’ll get some history textbooks and start trying to figure this out. I doubt anyone teaches a class on assimilating into a new universe. Then again, maybe they do.

They departed the All-Star Squadron and Wartime Era exhibition and passed through the main atrium, where a colossal golden statue of Jesse Quick dominated the chamber, under a massive doom ceiling. The whole building was in marble with gold accents and plentiful windows, in the now familiar futuristic Neo-Classical style he was beginning to become familiar with. He liked it, though the number of statues of the Quicks seemed a little excessive. 

Hopefully, Jesse doesn’t let it go to her head. Walli seems past it.

One might think that to be inheritor of an almost century old legacy of superherodom, and to walk the halls of a museum dedicated to it, you might feel burdened by the weight of it all. Walli just seemed bored. 

She has seen it all before, many times. So that’s…

His brain shut down as he saw the impossibly futuristic and gleaming chrome treadmill on a plinth, in an exhibit all its own. The walls were lined with plaques explaining the piece and cases were lined with items that the viewer was assured came from alternate timelines the Quicks had visited with the aid of the item in the central exhibit. Awestruck, he turned to Walli who still, impossibly, looked bored with it all.

“Tell me… that’s not… ?” Connor tried asking.

“What, the treadmill? Yeah, that’s the real one. Don’t try touching it, bad things will happen.” She said with a slight smile, finally actually matching his reaction a little.

“The REAL?! The real one?! Just… sitting here? It can travel through fucking time!” He sputtered out, flabbergasted.

Walli laughed and waved at the Cosmic Treadmill, an apparatus about ten feet long of treadmill base, with a silver armature coming off of one side with impossibly sci-fi looking readouts and controls on it.

“The Treadmill can’t travel through time. It lets Jenny Quick travel through time! If you can’t access the Speedforce, it's just a treadmill.” She said laughing.

Connor squared himself up, trying to argue, but thought better of it and instead demanded Walli take his picture next to it. He even demanded she take a collage of him posing like he was running on it, which a helpful platform was provided for by the museum. He wasn’t the only one who wanted to try it themselves. He studiously avoided touching it or even looking like he might.

********

“So what have you guys been up to?” Connor asked as he helped himself to another of Walli’s Quick Fries as she glared at him in betrayal.

They were seated in the Quick Museum’s food court, and enjoying a light lunch of an individual Piper Pepperoni Pie for him, and several orders each of Heat Wave Spicy Chicken Wings, Fried Mozzarella Boomerangs, Quick Fries and a Captain Cold Ice Cream Sundae. Walli insisted on dipping her fries into her sundae, proving she was a philistine.

The Wayne Financial Bank’s Black Card still hadn’t reached its limit, even after their ‘curfew violation’, so Connor had decided they weren’t in that much trouble, before turning back to the Walli’s propped up phone, where a tiny image of Kaldura and a placeholder avatar of Robin’s emblem looked up at them. 

The team had called for a conference call to discuss yesterday’s events and the Guild’s impending decision tomorrow while Connor and Walli broke for a late lunch at the Museum.

“Climbing the walls of the Bat-Cave.” Came Robin’s irritated reply. “I’ve been training non stop. She won’t even let me go on patrol with her!”

Connor frowned. That didn’t sound good. Maybe their three day wait was for bad news.

“I received leave from her majesty to return home to Atlantis and made use of my time to visit my parents.” Kaldura replied, and it definitely looked like she was underwater. Connor burned to ask how she had reception at the bottom of the ocean but thought it wouldn’t make him look cool to pry

For all I know, Atlantis has 6G and is waiting for the rest of us to get on their level. 

“That’s nice. Tell the folks I said hi, Kal!” Walli said cheerfully while waving a fry.

“I shall. How are you finding Central City, Connor?” Kaldura asked politely.

“Oh, uh, its pretty amazing so far. The Museum is wicked cool, and we had a good time at the mall until the whole, uh, thing happened. I’ve never been able to just buy whatever I wanted before. Who knew how much I’d enjoy shopping once I had someone else’s credit card to do it with?” He asked, laughing.

“Hrm, don’t let Batwoman hear you say that. She can be free with the cash until she thinks someone’s abusing her largesse. ‘Money is a tool like any other, and those who don’t respect their tools will lose them.’” Robin quoted, even dropping her voice a register into something like Batwoman’s distinctive growl. 

To Connor’s ear, it sounded more like a sexy purr than the gargling gravel of Batman from film and tv, especially coming from Robin.

He and Walli laughed, Kaldura only chuckled.

Well, let’s rip the band aid off.

“So… Jesse and uh, Big Blue were pretty pissed yesterday. Did ‘her majesty’ or the Bat say anything?” Connor asked, after clearing his throat. 

Walli froze with a scope of her sundae halfway to her mouth and their friends went quiet on the line. Connor looked about, worried someone might have overheard, but nobody in the busy cafeteria seemed to be paying attention to them.

Kaldura answered first, sighing and shaking her head.

“I have not spoken with her majesty since taking my leave. The question troubles me as well. She was not inconsiderate of our position when we spoke, however.” She said, hedging her words.

Connor blew a sigh.

That’s neither a yes or a no. How do they decide these things? Aquawoman is the team leader, but is there a vote? Its a Guild, not a League, so maybe only ‘masters’ vote? Oi, all the things I don’t know. I should start on a list.

“The Boss hasn’t said anything to me about their decision besides ‘Three Days.’ So I stopped asking. Penny tried to calm me down by telling me ‘When the mistress says three days, she means three days.’ So we’ll find out tomorrow.” Robin said, miserably.

Penny must be Alfred. Or lady Alfred? Or a codename? Robin keeping her identity a secret from the team is gonna get confusing if we don’t lay ground rules on what’s okay to share and what’s not. Extra confusing to me because I DO know, or think I do.

“But…” Robin said with a note of rising hope.

“But what? Out with it, Robi!” Walli insisted.

“But, last night she actually came up out of the cave and challenged me to a little one-on-one hoops.” Robin said proudly.

Both Kaldura and Walli’s eyebrows raised.

Connor just looked confused.

“Is… basketball… good?” He asked hesitantly.

“Basketball is very good.” Robin said authoritatively, and he, Kaldura and Walli breathed a sigh of relief.

“Batwoman is not the best at communication, but from what Robin has told us, she often communicates more in deeds rather than words.” Kaldura explained for Connor’s benefit.

“Okay, so basketball is good. That’s a positive sign. But I did want to ask you all, since I kind of led the charge on making the ultimatum and you backed me up. I’ll follow you girls anywhere, but it begs the question; what are we going to  do if they say no?”

There, the question that had been weighing on him since the confrontation at Project Cadmus was out in the open. If the Guild called their bluff, what was the team prepared to do about it?

“We will do whatever we think we must.” Kaldura said simply, her resolution clear.

“Yeah, we don’t need their permission.” Walli piled on.

“If they don’t trust us now, they’re never going to. Better to make a clean break than keep trying to get blood from a stone.” Robin finished, and he could hear the grim set of her mouth in her words.

They’re really willing to break with their mentors and the Guild over this. Over us. 

Pride filled him. A few days in the world of his dreams, and he had friends willing to radically alter their lives to blaze their own trail. 

With him.

“Then we’ll see you both tomorrow.”

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