Adventures of Superguy

July 6, 2010 - Central City

Central City Shopping Center

14:27:42

This feels a little unlikely.

Superboy and Kid Quick crouched behind the planter, soft mall muzak playing in the suddenly quieter mall, out of sight of the cause of that quietude. On the other side of the planter was the third floor atrium, a sunny, wide open area with more planters, a fountain, and benches for taking a load off from rampant consumerism. A few jewellery stores lined the outside perimeter, as well as a Jawa Juice and an Uncle Andy’s Pretzels to provide snacks to any mall walkers stopping by. 

But what had driven most of the mall’s patrons off were the two nearly identically dressed figures stomping about and guffawing as they herded two dozen or more hostages towards the fountain, penning them in with a couple of steel benches torn off their usual spots and jammed back down into the tiles to make an impromptu barricade. The hostages huddled fearfully while their captors cracked jokes.

“God dangit, Tommy! This is more fun than that time we stole Grandaddy’s truck and plowed it through the McGillicuddy fields!” She said, speaking in a thick Southern drawl that screamed a life lived in trailer parks. 

That one was Tuppence, if her brother’s inane commentary was to be believed. A hair under 6’ teen girl, white, built like a budding powerlifter, but with a generous bust, dyed blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail with an undershave on the sides. She was dressed in a punk skinhead style; high black combat boots, fishnet leggings, a plaid mini skirt, multiple studded belts, a tight white tank top that barely contained her assets and let her red bra see through, and a pair of red suspenders holding up her ensemble. She also had on a pair of bicep length fingerless black gloves, numerous mismatched bangles, necklaces, and rings, but also wore several steel piercings in her ears and a nose stud. 

The smashed up jewellery stores were no doubt the provender of her accoutrement, and she delighted in examining them at length on her hands. Both her and her brother had messenger bags which bulged with their stolen contents.

Said brother, Tommy, sneered at the mall patrons being held hostage, feinting a lunge at them to make them recoil and crowing at their reactions with a cruel smile on his broad face. He looked much like his sister, enough that they were likely twins. A bit taller, more than a bit broader, and dressed similarly, but in painfully tight skinny jeans with pre-ripped holes, and a long sleeve fishnet top over his own white tank top. His equally bleached hair was cut in an undercut with shaved sides, with two lines carved in, just like his sister’s.

Tuppence and Tommy Terror, the Terror Twins, as they made VERY clear to everyone in earshot. 

Finding the twin reprobates had been easy; Connor was finding focusing on his super hearing was getting easier and easier. The silent alarm was simple to locate, and after a brief discussion on the necessity of secret identities when they were in their civvies and the Guild had been QUITE insistent on them staying out of trouble, they both put one of Connor’s new shirts around their heads and brought the collars up over their noses and tucked the sleeves in, making a crude but effective disguise. Or so Kid insisted; the Superboy was much less convinced.

Who is gonna be fooled by these? I should have insisted on T-Shirt Ninjas but Walli refused. But what’s really ridiculous, besides these two wanna-be skinhead supervillains, is that they’re here at all when we are! Come on, what are the odds? And after we were told we were benched. The Guild has to have exceptions for when you’re minding your own business and the villains come to you.

Reading about the constant adventures of superheroes in comic books made it seem like this kind of stuff happened all the time, but actually living it in real life made it surreal. He’d been out of the pod at Cadmus for less than 24 hours, got to third base with Walli, bought a new wardrobe (now safely tucked in the men’s bathroom, which was probably the nicest one he’d ever been in) and suddenly a pair of villains who must be either so D-list or new that he’d never even heard of them show up to rob and terrorize the mall?

I’d complain about rushed and lazy writing, but I don’t think anyone is writing this. 

Or at least, I hope they’re not.

That caused a moment of existential crisis before Walli distracted him by whispering in his ear, which also raised his hackles and other things.

“We’re on our own here, Jesse and Supes had some charity race scheduled today. They were starting in Metropolis and circling the globe, they’re probably in the Pacific right now! So, forget being benched, I’m putting us in the game. Here’s the plan, you distract the Trouble Twins and I’ll slip the hostages out. Ok, break!” Walli instructed before zipping out of sight, presumably to a better spot to launch her rescue mission.

Which leaves me to deal with Bette and Butthead.

He wasn’t actually sure how you distracted supervillains. His first thought was to attack, but they were right by the hostages so that seemed like a terrible idea. Racking his brains and finding nothing growing there, he looked around for inspiration.

The only handy thing was someone’s discarded can of STARRO ENERGY DRINK, still partially filled, and with a creepy eye in the middle of a familiar star logo. He picked it up, weighing it in his hand, and shrugged.

It works in video games and they look pretty homeschooled.

Waiting for the Twins to be distracted bickering about something about how a particular necklace did or didn’t flatter Tuppence, he chucked the can across the atrium and towards the opposite side from where Kid’s blur had headed. The can rocketed away and smashed through Uncle Andy’s Pretzel’s display cabinet, scattering glass and salted pretzels everywhere. The Twins heads shot up and twisted to look like prairie dogs, and then they shared a suspicious look. With a nod and shove on the shoulder, answered by an angry scowl and a return shove, finally Tommy headed off to investigate, leaving Tuppence alone to watch the hostages but her eyes were locked on her brother’s broad back.

…Well shit, it actually worked. 

Looking around for Kid Quick, he saw her peak around a corridor next to Jawa Juice and give him a thumbs up, and then pointed forcefully towards Tuppence. He nodded back and thought fast. She was distracted for the moment, so now would be the time to get the drop on her. 

Gotta get her away from the hostages first, though. Then hold aggro on both while Kid Quick gets everyone out. Should be easy, I’m Superboy!

…I hate being Super”boy”. 

Pushing away that annoying thought, he crept out around the planter and lined himself up at Tuppence’s unsuspecting back. His heart beat faster and his adrenaline spiked; he was actually picking a fight for the first time in his life. Everything at Project Cadmus hadn’t counted. This time he was actually initiating it of his own choice. He was in full view of the hostages and he doubted they’d stay quiet, so as soon as he lined up he took off in a charge at Tuppence and lowered himself into a football tackle. She started turning just before he hit her, catching her in the hip in a chop block and bending her over his shoulder as he wrapped both arms around her hips and carried her forward. The next thing he knew, they were crashing through a jewelry storefront and they went down in a pile of broken glass and shattered cabinetry. 

Damn, that was fast! I crossed the whole atrium-

Analysis was interrupted by pain when a size 10 lady’s combat boot soccer kicked him in the head and sent him flying back out of the store. He skidded across the tiles and dug his fingers in to slow himself down. When he stopped, he was in a crouch with his fingers buried in the broken tiles up to the second knuckle. Tuppence was strutting out of the jewellers, dusting herself off with a cocky grin, accentuated by the dark purple lipstick she wore.

“Well, that ain’t hardly fair, fella! You can’t just hit a gal from behind like that, not least without buying her dinner first. Seems like ya need to be taught a lesson in manners!” Tuppence drawled as she strutted, cracking her knuckles audibly. She burst into a sudden charge and swung wildly at him, while he sprung back and her fist buried itself into the floor with a crack.

“Ha! Ain’tcha just a little spring chicken, hopping around like that. C’mere, sugar, Mama Tuppence just wants to give you a little taste!” She threatened as she licked her purple lips. 

This is getting uncomfortably sexual, fast. She’d actually be pretty hot if she wasn’t so clearly a white trash psycho. 

Then Tuppence charged him again and he gave ground desperately. He tried opening the mind palace again, letting its telepathically programmed moves fill the emptiness that was his mind. Except that his mind didn’t feel empty at all, especially while worrying about Walli getting to the hostages, where Tommy was, and how he was pretty sure Tuppence’s nipples were poking through her tank top.

She might be enjoying this little mano-a-womano too much.

The look of delight on her face and the wide grin she wore certainly made it seem so. Blue eyes twinkled manicly at him beneath her black eyebrows and brow piercing. Backing up proved no longer feasible as he neared the far wall and she came in throwing furious punches, big hooks to the head and body that he tried to block, poorly. Blows slammed into him painfully, mostly his body as he put a shell guard up around his head. The noise the blows made sounded far worse than they felt; they were bruising blows and he wasn’t used to getting hit, but Docbuster had hit him much harder. They seemed fairly evenly matched in strength and durability; despite the speed and violence they were operating at, it seemed like a fight between two normal people as far as damage was concerned.

That was until a vicious blow from behind knocked him down and made him see stars, right before that size ten lady’s boot planted itself in his ribs and sent him flying into the fountain, shattering plaster and fiberglass features while water spilled everywhere. He caught a brief glimpse of the hostages, almost all gone and a blurred figure coming back for the  rest. Springing to his feet in knee deep water, Superboy squared up just in time for Tommy to knock him back with an uppercut that connected on his chin and hurled him up and out of the fountain. It made his teeth clack together and he almost bit his tongue. 

Landing in a crater, he rolled out of the way as a familiar boot came stomping down towards his chest. Switching to offense he jabbed at Tuppence, but she slipped it easily and grabbed his wrist, pulling him forward and using his momentum against him to throw him over her shoulder and to the ground. The whole thing happened so fast he was stunned more by the move than by the impact. Lying there, he tried to yank his wrist out of her grip but before he could a massive weight smashed into his solar plexus and drove the air out of his lungs, as Tommy came off the top rope with an elbow drop directly into his guts. Folding around the blow, he tried to suck in a breath.

But Tommy’s sister gave him no respite, spinning him around like a ragdoll before hurling him at her brother. Tuppence’s brother managed to catch him midair and grabbed his shoulder in a full nelson, laughing as he struggled. He stopped laughing when Superboy got his feet under himself and applied all his strength to breaking the grapple. Both men tensed and strained as the concrete slab floor beneath them began to crack under the strain, grunting as they matched strength for strength.

I’m stronger! Gotta outmuscle them!

But the elation of that discovery was buoyed by Tuppence’s return. Seeing him beginning to break the hold, she provided a distraction by throwing a tornado of blows at his head and body, working him over while he couldn’t defend himself. She gave each punch everything she had, since she didn’t need to worry about missing or defending herself. Being hit over and over again racked up damage quickly, despite being tough enough to endure the Terror Twins blows. Ribs bruised and made breathing painful, his eye began to bruise and swell, as the twins shouted insults at him and encouragement to each other, but he couldn’t focus on it under the pain.

Punishing blows suddenly ended as Tuppence disappeared in a blur, only to go flying into a wall and punch right through the drywall. Kid Quick had returned, her rescue mission finished, and she gave him a thumbs up and a grin before he rocketed off to continue fighting Tuppence.

“Hey! Ain’t nobody lays a hand on my big sis!” Tommy shouted at Kid Quick’s back, and Superboy took advantage of the distraction.

“Don’t worry about her, Tommy, worry about you!” He growled as he strained to break the hold and Tommy used all his available leverage to try to hold on, bending backwards and groaning as he did.

That brought the skylight ceiling of the atrium into Superboy’s focus, and gave him an idea.

All this superstrength requires leverage…

It had already proven a good tactic against Aqualass, so pushing that guilt aside he crouched down and bent over, pulling Tommy off his feet unexpectedly.

“Hey Tommy, buckle up!” He shouted as he sprang out of his couch and launched them both into the air with a surprised yelp from the villain.

Passing through the skylight was barely felt and suddenly they were in the warm sunshine of the Central City afternoon. The leap was the strongest he’d tried yet and by far the highest; it must have cleared a thousand feet by the time they hit the apex, giving them a fantastic view of the very flat Central City street grid. While they flew, Tommy kept struggling with him to maintain his grip,

But bereft of his footing and freefalling through the air, Superboy managed to slip the grip and turn around, grabbing hold of the Terror Twin’s shoulders and hurling rabbit punches into his face. Tommy returned them in kind, along with vicious knees and elbows which spoke to a lifetime of very dirty fighting. But the ground was coming back up fast, even as the leap drifted to one side of the Central City Shopping Center, and they crashed through a canopy of solar panels and into the road deck of the parking garage. At the last moment, Superboy spun Tommy underneath him and when they hit the deck, opening a crater ten feet across and shaking the structure, Tommy took the brunt of the impact, shouting in pain.

The impact knocked the wind out of Superboy as well, so he crawled off Tommy and climbed to his feet. Tommy rolled away and scrambled to his feet, using a parked sedan to help himself up. Then he picked up the car by the front and swung it like a baseball bat, impacting and crumpling the car around Superboy and launching him across the garage roof deck and embedding him in the side of a minivan. Super hearing let him hear a couple of screams from shoppers clearing the garage roof deck, and he heard nobody else in danger.

Peeling himself out of the minivan, he grit his teeth and met the charging Tommy Tuppence.

Enough of this two on one shit, and taking a beating from the super trailer trash!

His anger flared and that did what nothing else had done so far, emptied his mind. The hot rage grew cold but kept burning, as moves and attack patterns filled his mind. He ducked and slipped Tommy’s punches and evaded his grabs. In return he shot forward with precise jabs, rocking Tommy with each one that landed. Kicking at the side of Tommy’s knee brought him down on that knee, and Superboy followed it up by grabbing Tommy’s head and delivering a brutal knee directly to his face. That blow sent him tumbling back, clutching his bloodied and broken nose.

The opponent got up from his knees, hands clutching at his broken nose as blood poured from between his fingers. Rage burned in the opponent’s eyes, and Superboy coldly calculated that the anger would make the opponent attempt another reckless charge. 

Tommy didn’t disappoint, growling like a beast with a stuffed nose as blood poured down his mouth. Fury lent him a desperate speed and strength as he threw wild haymakers that never seemed to connect as Superboy ducked or deflected them on his guard, and in return curled vicious hooks into his exposed ribs. Tommy grunted and he wheezed painfully after a few of them. Tommy clutched at his side and backed off, pain obvious on his face, just as a new impact rocked the roof deck.

With another shower of broken glass, steel and wiring, Tuppence smashed into the deck like a meteor, landing in a perfect three point crouch which she sprang from as she saw her brother’s blood. Fury twisted her features as she threw herself at Superboy with an even more vicious barrage of blows than before. Now she peppered kicks and knees with her punches, and threw elbows when she got inside his guard. This time he was forced to give ground again while she spent her anger. 

Streaking blurs resolved into Kid Quick, somehow still keeping her ‘mask’ on. Her pants were worn and scorched below the knee and she was breathing heavily.

“Heycouldn’tkeephercontainedinthemall.She’stoostrongformetotakeheadonbutwegotthis!” Came her rapid fire encouragement as she gave him a thumbs up and turned back to their foes. He stood beside her and with a glare of grim resolve, he put up his dukes and moved to charge in beside Kid Quick.

But the fight seemed to go out of the Terror Twins at the now more even odds and their eyes widened. They shared a look, then turned around as one and leaped high into the air, disappearing behind the canopy of solar panels. He heard the distant impact a few moments later as they landed, then the rush of wind as they leaped again, continuing their retreat. Superboy was so shocked he just stood there gawping.

“Did they… just run away?” He asked incredulously.

“Uh… looks like it. Chock one win up for us! Woo-hoo! Epic team up, high five!” Walli crowed, holding up her hand for a high five which he numbly returned. The sudden cessation of hostilities had thrown him for a loop, and he was coming down from the adrenaline spike.

“Shouldn’t we go after them? They’re getting away…” he asked distractedly.

Kid Quick breathed an explosive sigh and bent over, hands on her knees as she sought to catch her breath.

“Normally… I would… but I’m gassed and running on fumes. And  you don’t look so good… and you have no idea where you’re going. But hey, we beat ‘em, just the two of us!” She said, smiling up at him. He felt a warmth in his chest at her shining smile, and at the thrill of battle and victory. 

Hell yeah! We won! We beat a pair of supervillains! I’m 3-0 already!

“Ahem.”

“Oh, hey Jesse-” Kid Quick did a double take, and Superboy turned to look behind him to see the aunt and mentor of his friend and teammate standing behind them, her arms crossed and an impatient yellow booted foot tapping. Descending with her crimson cape billowing behind her, arms also crossed and a disapproving frown on her face, came the Woman of Steel. Staring up at her and remembering her coldness last night, he rubbed the back of his head and winced, finding it sore.

“We-” he began trying to explain.

“Three days. We asked you to lay low for three days.” Came Superwoman’s chilly chastisement, delivered from on high.

He sighed, turning his head and rolling his eyes.

Oh come on! That’s not fair.

“We didn’t go looking for trouble! We were here shopping and you were out of town, Jesse! They took hostages!” Walli explained indignantly.

Superwoman and Jesse Quick share a look, and then turn back to their juniors.

“Regardless, you could have called for backup. That’s the kind of thing you’re meant to do when you’re benched, Kid.” Jesse continues, and the continued chewing out makes both young heroes roll their eyes.

“How long would that have taken?” Connor asks, his frustration apparent. 

“You would know that if you were trained, at all. You came out of Project Cadmus’ pod yesterday, and with a… great deal of confusion about your situation.” Superwoman said, and her choice of words made his eyes narrow.

What’s that supposed to mean?

“We did the job, regardless of training. Speaking of the job, aren’t they getting away right now? Shouldn’t we be going after them?” Superboy asks, waving a hand in the direction he can still hear the impacts of the Terror Twins’ leaps from.

“Jesse and I will go after the Terror Twins.” Superwoman says with a sharp nod and with a boom of displaced air, she flies away and the sight takes his breath away, making him forget she was just chewing him out and then dismissing him like a kid being sent to bed without supper.

“Go home, Kid.” Jesse says with finality and disappears in a red-gold blur in pursuit.

Wallis takes a deep breath and opens her mouth to say something to their long departed backs when Connor holds up a hand to stop her. At her curious look, he taps his ear, and she shuts her mouth and looks abashed.

Let’s not dig ourselves any deeper in the hole…

A pair of villains engaged, stopped from endangering civilians, and put to flight if not defeated. With perhaps a little help from Superwoman and Jesse Quick.

Not the worst start to being a superhero. Could really use less being told off like we caught out past curfew. Seriously! There has to be a protocol for “I was minding my own business at the mall and supervillains attacked.”! Its like they’ve got it out for us.

Or maybe Superwoman has it out for him.

That thought pains him. Superman is HIS hero, the one of whom he’s read EVERYTHING he could get his hands on. From wacky Golden Age reprints to the grittiest 90’s Iron Age foil covered trash. Superwoman… isn’t Superman. She’s not a comic book character here; she’s a real person. Can any actual person measure up to the legend? 

It doesn’t feel like it, so far. She keeps looking at me like she really wishes I wasn’t here. Is it the clone thing? Or the reincarnation thing? They were all a bit weird about the multiverse bit, like it was pretty wild to them. 

Or does she know I was lying?

The idea twists his guts. Has he already ruined everything in this new amazing life by lying to the Justice Guild? Would they have even believed him if he told the truth?

“Well, that’s just great…” Walli breaths as they head down the stairs of the garage and cross back into the mall. He can hear the approaching police and EMS sirens as they head for the bathroom where he left his purchases. As he slips into the absurdly well appointed men’s room and retrieves his bags from the pink sofa there, he rejoins Walli and they head for the car, removing their ‘disguises’ in the bathroom.

“Luggage.” Connor says distractedly as they get into the car and prepare to wait alongside the civilians all trying to get out  of the property after the meta-brawl. Its the first thing he’s said since the Guild members left.

“Huh?” Walli asks as she turns the key and starts up her father’s yellow econobox grocer getter, piled high with his new wardrobe.

“Luggage. Should have bought luggage, so I could put all the clothes in it instead of making you carry the bags. Then I’d have luggage to move my stuff in, too.” He says as he stares out the window, troubled by the implications of Superwoman’s distance with him.

“Huh. Yeah, that would be a good idea. We can get that tomorrow, though. I think they’re closing for the day… say, you hungry?” She asks hopefully.

Connor turns to her, after seeing the black eye starting to swell around his right eye in the side mirror. He smiles, shaking his head.

“Yeah, sure. Batwoman’s buying.”

“Yes! Score!”

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