Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Chapter 144: Chapter 142

At that moment, one of the Soltaire students pointed toward Gawain.

"Then what about this guy?"

Everyone looked at him.

Gawain was still crouching exactly where I’d left him, completely motionless like a very dangerous gargoyle.

I immediately brightened. "Oh, him?"

The students nodded.

"It’s a buy one get one gift!" I smiled brightly.

The Soltaire students immediately shook their heads.

"We don’t want him."

"Yeah."

"Absolutely not."

"Take him back."

"Actually take him farther away."

I turned to Gawain. "You hear that?"

"..."

"They don’t want you."

"..."

"So get lost."

I kicked him lightly but Gawain remained perfectly still.

This time several Soltaire students physically flinched as one student leaned toward another.

"Shouldn’t he be angry?"

"He is."

"How can you tell?"

"The fact that he is now smiling."

Everyone immediately took another step back.

Gawain slowly stood up, brushed some dirt from his clothes, then smiled at me.

"Oh, My Lady."

"What?"

"Once this exam is over..."

"Yes?"

"...I’m submitting my resignation."

"No you’re not."

"I absolutely am."

"Nope."

"Absolutely."

I ignored him and turned back toward Soltaire.

"Now then."

I clapped my hands.

"Since we’re all friends here—"

"We’re not."

"Since we’re all acquaintances here—"

"We’re not."

"Since we’re all future victims of the same educational system here—"

"...Continue."

I smiled brightly. "Give me a tour."

Without waiting for permission, I casually walked into their territory as if I owned the place.

The students stared at me in complete disbelief.

"Should we stop her?"

"I don’t know."

"She’s technically our hostage."

"Good point."

"I’m sure she won’t try to escape."

"Why?"

"We have supplies."

"Good thinking."

I almost felt insulted.

Did they really think a few supply crates were enough to keep me here?

Actually...

I looked at the supplies.

...they weren’t entirely wrong.

The students followed behind me while Gawain remained where he was.

I continued walking deeper into the camp but the farther I walked, the more confused I became.

Then I became concerned, switching to frustration then lastly I was horrified watching them use the precious supplies.

’What abomination was I witnessing?’

I stopped in the middle of the camp and stared at the mess.

Five students were using a medical bandage to tie up a tent.

Three students were attempting to cook dried rations directly on top of unopened cans.

Someone had somehow managed to snap a fishing rod despite there being no river within sight.

One student was using a first aid manual as a plate.

Another had converted a survival rope into what appeared to be a fashionable belt.

Meanwhile, a group of students were arguing over a can of food, not what was inside the can but on how to open the damn can.

"How do we open this?"

One student picked up a rock. "I think we can smash it."

Another immediately objected. "No! The food inside will burst!"

"That’s not how physics works."

"We don’t know that."

A third student held up a spoon. "Why don’t we use this?"

"That’s a spoon."

"Exactly."

"What does a spoon have to do with opening a can?"

The student looked offended. "I don’t know. I was brainstorming."

Meanwhile, another student suddenly gasped. "My nanny has a magical tool called a can opener!"

The others immediately looked impressed.

"Amazing."

"Truly revolutionary."

"It can open cans?"

"Apparently any canned food!"

The group collectively stared at the can with newfound respect.

"Oooh!"

"Send me a picture later!"

"I’ll tell my butler to buy one too!"

"My family should invest in that technology."

I felt something inside me die.

For goodness’ sake.

It had an easy-open ring.

A giant metal ring specifically designed so people wouldn’t need a can opener.

The students continued discussing industrial innovations when I finally snapped.

"Give me that," I charged towards them, snatched the can, and pointed at the ring. "What’s this?"

The students squinted.

"A decoration?"

"A handle?"

"A manufacturer’s logo?"

I wanted to scream but I took a deep breath then pulled the ring.

POP!

One student looked like his worldview had shattered.

"You can do that?"

"Yes."

"Without a can opener?"

"Yes."

"Without a rock?"

"Yes."

"Without a spoon?"

"Especially without a spoon."

The student looked genuinely amazed while another immediately pulled out a notebook.

"Wait."

"What are you doing?"

"I’m taking notes."

I shoved the now-opened can back into its owner’s hands before I started inventing new curse words.

The student accepted it carefully. "Thank you, Miss Blanca."

I walked away before I could say something that would get points deducted.

Unfortunately, things somehow became worse.

A third group of students was gathered around a pile of firewood but they weren’t moving or trying to build a fire, they were just staring at it like the wood would eventually catch fire out of embarassment.

One student finally noticed my expression. "Miss Blanca?"

"What?"

"Why do you look like you’re about to cry?"

I didn’t answer him and closed my eyes before exhaling slow deep breaths.

’This is not my business.’

’This is not my business.’

’This is not-’

You know what? This is my business now since I don’t want to be the last one remaining alive in Soltaire.

I finally stopped in the middle of the camp and shouted.

"EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR YOUR PRECIOUS SUPPLIES WILL ALL BE GONE IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

One student cautiously raised his hand. "Is there something wrong?"

I slowly turned toward him as the poor student immediately regretted asking.

"Something wrong?" I repeated.

My eye twitched.

"SOMETHING WRONG?!"

I spread my arms toward the entire camp.

"EVERYTHING IS WRONG!"

Several students physically flinched.

I pointed at the upside-down tent. "Who built that?"

A student near the back slowly raised his hand. "I did."

"Why?"

"I followed the instructions."

"There were instructions?"

"Probably."

The tent immediately collapsed.

"Oh."

I clenched my teeth. "It was upside down. What do you expect?"

"Maybe the ground was unstable."

I ignored him before I suffered a stroke and looked toward the fire pit. "How long have you been trying to make a fire?"

"Two hours."

"Two..."

I closed my eyes.

"...hours?"

"Yes."

I opened them again.

"Have any of you ever gone camping before?"

Silence.

One student cautiously raised a hand. "Well... My family owns a camping company."

"Wonderful."

Hope surged through me.

"Then you know how to do all this?"

"No."

"Then why did you raise your hand?"

"I wanted to participate."

I stared at him.

The student smiled nervously.

I looked around again.

Broken tents, unopened canned food, and fire pits that looked personally offended by their attempts.

Then I focused at the students.

These weren’t warriors or survivalists, these were wealthy noble children who had apparently spent their entire lives having servants solve every problem for them.

My eye twitched.

’These spoiled wealthy brats...’

One student pointed at a camp fire. "Miss Blanca."

"What?"

"How do this lit up?"

I took five deep breaths trying not to scream at him.

There was no escaping this.

I was going to become a teacher.

Again.

I pointed towards the entire camp.

"Everyone gather around."

The students blinked.

"What?"

"Why?"

I cracked my knuckles.

"Today we’re learning Wilderness Survival 101."

The students exchanged glances.

"Isn’t this a combat exam?"

"Not anymore."

"Then what is it now?"

I looked around at the disaster they called a campsite.

"A rescue operation."

Within minutes, I was teaching students how to pitch tents properly.

How to start a fire.

How to ration supplies.

How to open canned food without looking like they were trying to solve ancient runes.

By the end of the lesson, the camp actually looked functional.

The tents stood upright.

The fire was burning.

Food was cooking.

And the students looked at me with the same admiration people reserved for miracle workers.

One student even had tears in his eyes. "I didn’t know camping could be this easy."

I wiped a sweat on my forehead. "It was always easy."

The student looked emotional.

Another raised a hand. "Miss Blanca?"

"Yes?"

"Can you stay here permanently?"

The entire camp immediately nodded.

I frowned.

"Absolutely not—"

I froze and looked back at them sweetly.

"—I will consider staying if you agree to one tiny condition."

The noble students immediately surrounded me.

One reached for his wallet. "Money?"

Another pointed at himself. "Loyal servant?"

A third somehow appeared on one knee. "I have excellent references."

Someone else dramatically placed a hand over his chest. "What do you prefer? Sweet and devoted or cold and possessive?"

Another student raised his hand.

"I can bark."

"..."

"What?"

"..."

"I can bark very convincingly."

A few students immediately began arguing.

"That’s unfair."

"You’re trying too hard."

"At least let us compete properly."

One student even looked thoughtful.

"Should we prepare contracts?"

Meanwhile, I was slowly backing away from the rapidly growing crazy crowd.

"THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT!"

The entire camp froze.

Silence.

"What I want," I continued, pointing dramatically toward the center of the territory, "is a fair exchange with your flag!"

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