Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Chapter 146: Chapter 144

"Welcome to Voltes Territory!"

The students spread their arms dramatically as if they were unveiling a wonder of the world.

"Wow...."

I gave them the most unenthusiastic clap imaginable before looking around, looked around some more, and somehow the situation became worse the longer I observed it.

Everywhere I looked there were only weapons.

Rail cannons.

Pulse turrets.

Plasma accelerators.

Missile pods.

Energy batteries.

More rail cannons.

There were so many weapons that I was beginning to suspect they had stolen supplies from an actual military base.

I slowly turned back toward them. "Where are the rest of your supplies?"

The students frowned at me.

"Are you blind?"

One student lovingly patted a graviton mortar. "Can you not see these beauties?"

Another crossed his arms proudly. "What? Too amazed to think straight?"

The group immediately started laughing.

I waited for them to stop but they didn’t so I calmly raised a finger.

"Food?"

The laughter gradually died.

"..."

"..."

A few students suddenly became interested in the sky.

I raised another finger. "Shelter?"

Several students awkwardly scratched their heads, one looked toward a half-assembled tent lying upside down in a bush, while another quietly looked away.

I raised a third finger. "Medical supplies?"

The silence became painful.

Then, as if a switch had been flipped, they immediately started blaming one another.

"Why did we waste our energy gathering weapons?!"

"We only needed one!"

"Blame the war freaks!"

"YOU were one of the war freaks!"

"I only wanted the rail cannon!"

"You wanted THREE rail cannons!"

"This exam is mostly about survival!"

"Not straight-up warfare!"

"Tell that to Hector!"

"WHY IS THIS MY FAULT?!"

I slowly smiled as I watched the civil war unfold when a bottle of water suddenly appeared beside me along with a steaming cup of noodles.

My smile widened. "Thank you—"

Wait.

Who?

I turned my head to see Gawain casually sitting beside me.

I hadn’t even noticed him arrive.

He was already halfway through his noodles, calmly slurping while the Voltes students argued themselves into extinction.

"..."

"..."

"Can you at least speak when you’re next to me?" I asked as I grabbed the cup noodles.

Gawain simply pointed at his mouth full of noodles.

Slurp.

I stared. "Really?"

He stared back.

Slurrrp!

"You know what? Fair."

I rolled my eyes and peeled open my noodles.

In front of us, the Voltes students were still arguing amongst themselves.

"This is your fault!"

"No, this is your fault!"

"Why is it my fault?!"

"Who even brought artillery cannons?!"

"You approved the artillery cannons!"

"I DIDN’T THINK YOU WOULD BRING ALL OF THEM!"

Meanwhile, Gawain and I sat peacefully on a supply crate, eating noodles while watching what was essentially a very loud nature documentary.

A documentary featuring idiots.

Gawain took another bite before glancing toward the arguing students.

"Why bother collecting weapons when we already have soul weapons?"

I nodded.

"I know, right? Soul weapons are much more efficient."

I pointed my chopsticks dramatically.

"You don’t even feel how heavy they are."

"Agreed."

"And they’re literally connected to your soul."

"Exactly."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"...So why do I constantly see you carrying around engineered military-grade weapons? Where do you even manage to hide those in your body?"

Gawain slowly looked away.

It was the kind of action people did when they absolutely knew the answer would get them arrested.

He ignored my question entirely.

"You see, I collect unique and hard-to-obtain weapons."

His eyes slowly drifted toward the mountain of artillery scattered around the Voltes camp.

"In short, I am a weapon collector."

The glint in his eyes intensified.

"And right now, these weapons I’m seeing are not yet available in the market."

I stared at him in horror. "Please don’t tell me you’re about to steal them."

Gawain immediately looked offended.

"My Lady."

He placed a hand over his chest.

"The way you think of me deeply wounds me."

I sighed in relief. "Well that’s good because for a second I thought—"

"I’m just going to borrow one of every type they have."

"..."

"..."

"Say what now?"

Gawain pointed toward the artillery scattered throughout the camp.

"One VX-99 Nova Lancer."

Another finger.

"One Titanbreaker Rail Cannon."

Another.

"One Aegis-X Particle Mortar."

Another.

"And one Helios-Class Orbital Marker Array."

I stared at him. "That’s not borrowing."

"It is."

"No."

"It is."

"No."

He thought about it. "Fine. Let’s just call it extended borrowing."

"THAT’S STILL STEALING!"

Gawain casually ate another mouthful of noodles.

"Then I’ll accidentally forget to return them back."

"..."

"..."

"...Hehehe."

I slowly put down my noodles.

This weapon-obsessed maniac. So he was stealing them after all. He just simply changed the vocabulary.

I pointed at the artillery. "How would you even manage to steal weapons that big?"

"Thank you for worrying about me."

"I’m not worried about you."

"But I’ll handle it myself."

He smiled before lovingly patting my head.

I immediately swatted his hand away. "Your hands are oily from the noodles!"

He looked down to see his fingers were indeed covered in noodle grease.

I thought that would finally stop him.

It didn’t.

The moment I lowered my guard, he attempted another head pat.

SMACK.

Then again.

SMACK.

Then again.

At some point I simply gave up and let him do whatever he wanted.

"Don’t worry," Gawain smiled softly. "I’ll show you my collection someday."

"No."

"You’ll love it."

"No."

"I have entire sections dedicated to specific threats."

"No."

"You haven’t even seen the anti-dragon artillery section."

I paused. "The WHAT section?"

"The anti-dragon artillery section."

"WHY DO YOU HAVE AN ANTI-DRAGON ARTILLERY SECTION?!"

Gawain looked genuinely confused by my confusion. "In case some filthy dragon happens to slip into someone’s room again."

That sounded alarmingly specific but before I could question it, he continued.

"I also have several <anno data-annotation-id="a2190d8e-8145-4237-8b62-771388d0cb40" data-title="VX-Shadow Neuro-Snares">VX-Shadow Neuro-Snares¹</anno>."

"..."

"...What are those?"

"Fox traps."

"WHY DO YOU HAVE FOX TRAPS?!"

Gawain looked away suspiciously. "I like to wear fur stoles someday."

I slowly put my noodles down. "You are not helping your case."

He ignored me.

"I also own a <anno data-annotation-id="2e2bd684-059e-3f62-2f31-90a79f84b2a3" data-title="Leviathan-Class Magneto Harpoon Launcher.">Leviathan-Class Magneto Harpoon Launcher.¹</anno>"

I didn’t even want to know anymore.

Unfortunately, curiosity won.

"...And what exactly is that for?"

"Sashimi."

"You built a military-grade harpoon launcher."

"Correct."

"For fishing."

"Correct."

"For sashimi."

"Correct."

I looked toward the heavens wishing for it to explain who created this man.

The heavens remained silent.

"I don’t even know why you have these kinds of weapon sections."

"Organization is important."

"No normal person organizes weapons by species."

Gawain looked thoughtful. "Because I’m extraordinary."

Before he could continue explaining whatever horrors existed inside his collection, we suddenly found ourselves surrounded by Voltes students staring at our empty cup noodles.

"..."

"..."

"..."

One student pointed. "Where did you get that?"

Another immediately stepped forward. "Can we have one?"

A third shoved him aside. "How much?"

A fourth looked at my empty cup. "Just a sip?"

"It’s empty."

"I know."

He looked devastated.

The crowd immediately descended into chaos.

"You have food?!"

"Actual prepared food?!"

"Since when?!"

"We haven’t eaten a single proper thing since the start of exam!"

One student pointed accusingly at the cup noodles beside us. "Do you know what we ate?!"

Another immediately answered. "Grass!"

A third looked offended. "Roots!"

A fourth looked ready to cry. "Three different kinds of mushrooms and I don’t even know if they were edible!"

"Hey, it’s healthy," several herbivore beastkins muttered from the back.

Nobody listened to them.

The students suddenly dropped to their knees.

"Please give us some!"

"Please!"

"We’ll do anything!"

"Within legal limits!"

I looked at Gawain and smiled. "I assume you already stole half of Soltaire’s supplies, right?"

Gawain nodded casually who was in the middle of brushing my hair.

I didn’t even question where the brush came from anymore.

"Let’s trade."

The Voltes students immediately perked up.

"Three plasma accelerators for cup noodles."

"Not enough."

"Five."

"Still not enough."

"Eight."

I smiled. "Deal."

The students immediately cheered.

"Deliver one plasma accelerator to every class."

The cheering slowed.

"And whatever remains goes to Altaire."

The cheering completely stopped.

"And tell them I was the one who delivered them."

They slowly looked at each other before shrugging. They don’t care anymore as long as they get to eat.

Half the students immediately got to work. Several started dragging plasma accelerators away, others loaded them onto transport platforms, while one student was somehow carrying an artillery cannon over his shoulder.

I decided I didn’t want to know.

When they were finally gone, I turned back toward Gawain as he handed me a cup of noodles and handed that single cup of noodles to the remaining students.

The outrage was immediate.

"What is this Blanca?"

"Only one?!"

"HOW THE FUCK ARE ALL OF US SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS?!"

"We had a deal!"

I nodded at them. "Yeah, we had a deal."

The students nodded furiously.

"THEN WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE CUP?!"

I pointed my chopsticks at them. "You never specified how many noodles you wanted for the eight plasma accelerators."

The camp froze.

"Shameless..."

"She’s too shameless..."

"I can’t even argue with that."

"Technically she’s right."

"That’s the worst part."

I smiled sweetly. "Let’s have another deal, shall we?"

The students immediately took several cautious steps backward.

"Absolutely not."

"No."

"Never again."

"You can’t trick us twice."

I continued smiling. "But this time please be specific."

<annotations style="display: none;">specifically made for Duke RenardonThis is exclusively for Kayden and I’ll leave to your imagination on what kind of beast he is hehehehe</annotations>

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