Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Chapter 150: Chapter 148

Porita Class Territory

The moment I spotted actual tents, I immediately tried to shake Fredrinn’s hand off.

Unfortunately, he tightened his grip.

"Let go."

I shook our joined hands.

He refused.

"Can we at least let my classmates see us holding hands?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty pretty ple—"

"Shall I chop off your hand instead?"

Fredrinn disappeared beside me and the next thing I know, I saw him standing three meters away from us.

I looked beside me to see Gawain standing calmly while Fredrinn looked like a rabbit that spotted a vicious wolf.

"Good afternoon, Gawain."

"Bad afternoon, Fredrinn."

"How come you got here so fast?" I crossed my arms while looking at Gawain.

Gawain looked mildly confused. "I was here first, My Lady."

"You were?"

"Yes."

"And you didn’t bother finding me?"

"No."

My jaw dropped. "No?"

Gawain nodded. "I had complete faith in your ability to cause trouble regardless of where you were."

"..."

"..."

"...That wasn’t a compliment."

"It wasn’t intended to be."

Fredrinn immediately raised his hand. "I found her."

Gawain glanced at him. "Unfortunately."

"I protected her."

"Unfortunately."

"I guided her here."

"Very unfortunately."

Fredrinn looked wounded. "You make it sound like I’m a criminal."

Gawain’s stare lingered.

"..."

"..."

"...Would you like me to answer that honestly?"

Fredrinn immediately looked away. "Let’s move on."

He quickly guided us deeper into the territory and the farther we walked, the more confused I became.

Come to think of it, only this part of the forest seemed completely unaffected by the fog.

Bright sunlight filtered through the trees, a crystal-clear river flowed beside the camp, and students lounged around in bathing suits.

Some were swimming.

Some were grilling food.

Others were relaxing on floating rafts drifting lazily down the river.

There was even a juice bar with a menu, decorations, there’s also one student wearing a tiny bartender vest while serving fruit smoothies.

A third was sunbathing with cucumber slices on his eyes.

This wasn’t a combat exam anymore, this was a vacation resort. Meanwhile, every other class was fighting for their lives.

I looked at Fredrinn. "What exactly is this?"

Fredrinn spread his arms proudly. "Porita Territory."

"No."

I pointed around us. "This."

"Oh."

He smiled. "We call it Camp Paradise."

"You named it?"

"Of course!"

My gaze drifted towards the relaxed students again.

One student floated past us on an inflatable swan.

Another was drinking coconut juice while reading a novel.

Someone else was getting a massage.

I didn’t even want to know how they managed to arrange that.

"Are you even participating in the exam?"

Fredrinn looked offended. "Of course."

"How?"

"We’re surviving."

"You’re on vacation."

"Exactly."

I looked at Gawain as a slow grin spread across my face. "Are you thinking what I’m thinking?"

Gawain was already grinning at me. "Of course."

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

"And this is where our—"

Fredrinn stopped mid-sentence when something felt wrong.

It was too quiet.

He slowly turned around.

"..."

"..."

"...Where did they go?"

The people he was guiding had completely disappeared.

"WOOOOHOOOO!!!"

Fredrinn’s head snapped toward the river.

A split second later, Blanca launched herself off a large rock.

SPLASH!

A massive wall of water exploded upward and the resulting wave reached the shore and drenched everyone nearby.

Including Fredrinn.

Water dripped from his face, his clothes were soaked, and shoes squished.

Yet somehow, he wasn’t paying attention to any of that because Blanca had resurfaced while laughing. The bright smile on her face was enough to completely short-circuit his brain.

For a few seconds, he simply stared at her motionless like an idiot before a grin slowly spread across his face.

His plan was working.

Step one: Get Blanca into Porita Territory.

Complete

Step two: Make her enjoy herself.

Complete

Step three: Keep her here long enough to win.

Currently in progress

Fredrinn pushed his wet hair back. "Let’s proceed to the next phase..."

Without warning, Fredrinn grabbed his shirt.

RIIIIP!

A few moments later, he was standing there wearing only board shorts. He tied his long hair into a ponytail, put on sunglasses, crossed his arms, and posed as a dramatic gust of wind chose that exact moment to appear.

Unfortunately, it made him look even more ridiculous.

At least in the opinion of every sane person present.

Unfortunately for everyone else, Fredrinn was objectively attractive enough that sanity stopped being a factor.

The nearby girls immediately gathered around him, fangirling shamelessly.

"Hey Fred, care to join us?"

"We can fit one more in the hot tub."

"Can you put sunscreen on my back?"

"My shoulders too."

"My arms."

"My entire body."

"Jessica!"

"What? I’m being honest!"

Fredrinn placed a hand over his chest and let out a dramatic sigh.

"Sorry, ladies."

The girls looked hopeful.

"But I’m already taken."

Silence.

Every single girl looked at him like he had just announced he was marrying a tree.

"Taken?"

"By who?"

"You have a girlfriend?"

Fredrinn smiled. "Blanca."

The girls stared at each other before they burst out laughing.

"Pfft!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Delusional!"

Fredrinn’s eye twitched. "What’s so funny?"

A girl wiped tears from her eyes. "You?"

Another pointed towards the river where Blanca was currently attempting to teach Gawain how to do a proper cannonball while the latter looked like he would rather fight a dragon.

"Blanca?"

"Yes."

"As in Blanca Frostine?"

"Yes."

The girls exchanged glances once more then collectively snorted.

"As if she would even glance at you."

The others nodded.

"Not even in your dreams."

"Actually maybe in your dreams."

"Definitely only in your dreams."

"Very vivid dreams."

Fredrinn clutched his chest dramatically. "You wound me."

A girl rolled her eyes. "She basically wanted to murder you when you didn’t want to let go of her hand."

"That’s called flirting."

The girls looked horrified.

"No."

"Absolutely not."

"Please seek help."

"Professional help."

Fredrinn ignored them and looked back toward the river.

Blanca was laughing again which made him smile immediately.

The girls watched him while shaking their heads.

"What exactly do you even like about her?"

Fredrinn didn’t even hesitate. "Everything."

"That’s not an answer."

"It is."

"No, seriously."

Fredrinn simply pointed towards the river as the girls turned their heads.

Blanca was currently arguing with Gawain while holding a camera.

A second later, she accidentally dropped it into the water then immediately blamed Gawain despite the fact that he was nowhere near her.

Fredrinn smiled. "See?"

"No."

"Exactly."

"We still don’t see it."

Fredrinn ignored them.

"She’s beautiful, funny, talented, terrifying, intelligent, impossible to predict, and every time she enters a room something explodes."

"..."

"..."

"...That last one sounds less like a positive trait and more like a safety concern."

Fredrinn pointed dramatically at Blanca. "That’s what makes her special."

One of them sighed. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I respect your dedication."

"Thank you."

"I still think you have absolutely no chance."

Fredrinn’s smile widened. "Neither does anyone else."

The girls blinked.

"...What?"

He folded his arms confidently. "If I can’t win her over, nobody can."

The girls looked at each other.

"...He’s hopeless."

"Completely."

"Terminally lovesick."

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

"Gawain, did you record that?"

Gawain looked down at the camera in his hand. "Yes, My Lady."

"Great!"

I immediately splashed toward shore.

"Now go up there so I can record you too!"

Gawain looked at the cliff before shaking his head. "I believe there has been a misunderstanding."

"There hasn’t."

"There has."

"There hasn’t."

Gawain sighed. "I’m too old for this."

I snatched the camera from his hands. "Nonsense."

"My joints disagree."

"You don’t even have old man joints."

"I absolutely do."

"You climbed a mountain carrying three artillery cannons last month."

"That’s different."

"How?"

"I was motivated."

I pointed at the cliff. "Go be motivated again."

"I don’t want to."

"Come on!"

"No."

"Please?"

Before he could say no, I grabbed his arm and started dragging him.

"My Lady."

"Nope."

"Have mercy."

"Never."

"Have mercy."

"Never."

The nearby Porita students immediately gathered around.

"Five thousand IC he jumps."

"Ten thousand says he pretends to drown."

"Twenty thousand says she throws him."

The others nodded thoughtfully.

"The third one sounds likely."

Meanwhile, Gawain had finally reached the top of the rock formation.

He stood there like a condemned prisoner awaiting execution.

I immediately raised the camera. "Perfect!"

Gawain looked down.

The river suddenly seemed much farther away than before.

"My Lady."

"Yes?"

"If I die."

"You won’t."

"If I die."

"You won’t."

Gawain sighed then muttered under his breath. "I should have let those assassins kill me years ago."

"JUMP!"

The entire Porita Class immediately joined in.

"JUMP!"

"JUMP!"

"JUMP!"

Even Fredrinn joined in. "JUMP!"

Gawain slowly turned his head and the look he gave Fredrinn nearly stopped the man’s heart.

Fredrinn immediately looked away. "I was supporting team spirit."

Gawain closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and stepped off before panic appeared on his face.

"OH THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEAAAAAA—"

SPLASH!

I immediately burst out laughing while trying to keep the camera steady.

"That was amazing!"

Gawain resurfaced. "My Lady."

"Yes?"

"I want that recording deleted."

"No."

"My Lady."

"No."

"I raised you better than this."

"You literally taught me blackmail."

"..."

"..."

"...Fair enough."

I happily jumped down from the rock to meet him but the moment my feet touched the wet surface, I slipped.

"AH—!"

The camera flew out of my hands.

Everyone watched in slow motion as it spun beautifully through the air.

PLOP!

The camera disappeared into the river as I turned to Gawain.

He was trying very hard not to smile but his shoulders were already shaking.

"This is your fault," I muttered.

"What?"

"This."

I pointed at the river.

"The camera."

"The water."

"The fish."

"How exactly am I responsible for any of those things?"

"If you hadn’t distracted me, this wouldn’t have happened."

Gawain immediately nodded. "That sounds completely reasonable and not delusional at all."

"Glad you understand."

"Of course, My Lady."

The smile he was suppressing somehow became even worse as he cleared his throat.

"It’s a shame."

I narrowed my eyes.

"A real tragedy."

"Gawain."

"It seems we can no longer retrieve those pictures."

"Damn you."

"What a devastating loss."

"You look so happy."

"I suppose all evidence has been erased forever."

One of them finally raised his hand. "Actually..."

Gawain froze.

The student smiled nervously. "I can just send you the pictures later."

Another student pointed at a small recording drone hovering above the river. "I caught every single one."

A second raised his hand. "I also recorded it."

A third student raised his hand. "Me too."

A fourth looked up from his phone. "I already made a backup."

A fifth proudly declared. "I got three different camera angles."

My smile instantly returned while Gawain looked ready to murder them all.

"Damn you all."

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