Cultivation System: Elder Edition

Chapter 460

Songs of Survival (VII)

"Hey, old man." The girl who spoke looked to be about sixteen or seventeen, with long, golden hair tied into locks and an expression of someone who'd sooner burn the world than suffer being told no. "Did you see what happened? What caused all that over there?" she nudged her head sideways and 'pointed' toward the flat nothing.

"No," I replied simply. Technically, I didn't actually see it. I did experience it, though. "Are you all alright? Nobody got hurt?"

"Huh? Why do you ask?" she immediately put on an even deeper frown as though I asked her for a million bucks. "I thought you were some fool, but you were planning on attacking us?"

"... yes, I asked because I wanted to attack you," I sighed and silently rolled my eyes. Ultimately, I'll probably just use Shadow Steps to run away.

"Pfft. He rolled his eyes at you, Senior Sister."

"Senior Sister's suspicion always makes her like this."

"Maybe he's just a kind old man, after all?"

"..." Picking up on the background commentary, I raised my eyebrows as I glanced over at the young girl whose cheeks fast turned red, her face scrounging up even more. "Shut up!" she bared her fangs back at them. "I thought you'd stop talking after the last time my suspicion saved you!"

"She's right," I tossed from the side. It is a prerogative to be suspicious of people. Like I am suspicious of all of you. Are you truly some children who just happened upon me? Or are you my inner demons, come to feast? The ghosts of all my errors and mistakes? Ah. If only I had the eye to discern."

"... uh, old man... are you, are you alright?" I couldn't quite grasp her, as she did a one-eighty from her 'suspicious' self. Even the look in her eyes shifted to that of worry. "We really are not your demons, I promise."

"Is something a demon would say."

"H-how, how can we prove it to you?"

"..." I eyed her oddly for a moment. "What happened to you being suspicious? What if I said that to prove you were not my inner demons, you should jump off the mountain? Would you have jumped?"

"O-of course not! You bastard, how dare you trick me!"

"She would have considered it, no?" I looked past her and at the group behind her who all, in almost comically perfect unison, nodded.

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"She really would."

"Knowing Senior Sister, she might have jumped, actually."

"Not before holding a speech about how it's suspicious that she needs to jump, but she feels in her heart it's the right thing to do."

"S-shut up! All of you, shut up or I will really get mad!" she lashed out at them yet again, though it didn't seem as though they took her very seriously. I have a sneaking suspicion of my own that many of them tag along with her because it's fun. "And you," she turned toward me. "Do you wish to die?!"

"Some days." I nodded. "When my demons come to haunt me."

"Oh. I, I'm sorry, I--"

"--for someone suspicious, you may yet be the most gullible child I've ever met in my life."

"Pfft."

"Old man immediately figured her out."

"Senior Sister, this old man is fun! Are you here alone?"

"Ah, no," I said. "I came here with some kids of mine, but we've yet to find each other. What about you? Where are your Elders?"

"Hm, they told us where they'd be, but not to go there unless we immediately want to forfeit," somebody explained. "This is supposed to be a challenge where we prove ourselves."

"Hm," I nodded, though I noticed that the suspicious girl was suspiciously quiet. I nearly had a jump scare when I glanced at her and saw her staring deathly daggers back at me. "I'm sorry," I smiled as apologetically as I could. "My kids and I often take jabs at each other, and you reminded me of one of my girls, so I instinctively talked to you as I would to her. That was quite rude of me."

"... the old man apologized."

"Wooow. He really might be a kind old man."

"Like those hermits in the stories?! Hey, Senior Sister, did we stumble upon some secret hermit that's as strong as Sect Master?!"

"Oooh! That might be it! He might even be part of one of the trials!"

Wow, look at that imagination run wild.

Reconsidering, it looks like she really might be the most grounded one and the one that keeps them focused. At the very least, they seemed like a well-adjusted bunch, though so did mine at first glance.

"Ho ho, while I'm quite flattered you think so highly of me," I said. "I really am just an ordinary old man. I can share with you some food if you are hungry and can brag about my kids until the end of time, but that's about it. No greater wisdom, no trial, no hermit sharing the secrets of the world with you, I'm afraid."

"Humph," the leading girl scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "You are too flippant for an old man! Our Elders have proper demeanor. Even if you are not wise, you must uphold the image of one. To so brazenly and openly admit you have nothing to teach us... tsk, tsk, tsk, you really are a weird old man."

"Ho ho, who says I have nothing to teach you? Did I not mention I have food? Allow me to expressly teach you the importance of a good, hearty diet."

"H-huh? What?"

"You see, the human mind is like an unending web of connections, and it spans our entire bodies. When you're sick in the stomach, you don't just feel sick in the stomach; your mind feels tired, you feel unwell, and that connection traps you. Inversely, when you have a good meal, you perk up; your mood lifts, your thoughts clear up a bit, and you seem just a touch quicker with a quip. While us cultivators needn't eat and can sustain ourselves on fairy dust and unicorn tears, my theory is that the lack of proper diet is the reason most martial artists seem mad and are quick to jump and kill you.

"A good meal calms and soothes, and a great meal is like a divine kiss of the heavens that instills pristine dew upon your soul, gracing you with a feeling so sublime that it cannot be put into words."

"..."

"Long story short," they seemed to try really hard to think upon my words, but they were just a word soup that I spat out as a quick mask. "How about you sit down with this old man and tell him something about yourselves while he prepares you a nice, warm meal, huh?"

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