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Ava was impressed. She’d never seen so many goblins together in one place.

She was also quite taken by the sorceress standing before her. Beautiful, immaculately groomed, and quite fetchingly dressed. More like a queen before her royal subjects than a witch dealing with goblins.

That imperious look turned on Ava, Meena’s eyes blazing as she stared at the naked elf holding the notepad.

Ava tried to smile, but she felt terribly afraid. Had she offended this powerful woman somehow?

Meena’s gaze turned to Gherkin. The goblin shrank from her fury. His head seemed to turtle down into his bloated body as he took a step back from her.

"Gherkin."

Meena spit the name out with disgust. She swept her cloak from her shoulders, dropping it and revealing her pale arms and deep cleavage. Ava gasped in awe at the ease of the theatrics. This was gonna be goooood.

"Y-yes, Meena?" the goblin chief squeaked, his bravado completely deflated.

"Why have your elves doubled?"

"Doubled? You mean two?" Gherkin looked over at Amaria and Ava. "Um, elf come to ask questions. For reporting."

"Reporting?" Meena twitched the fingers of one hand and violet electricity played across her palm.

Gherkin looked back at Amaria for help. Ava interjected, "I’m a journalist, miss. For the New Larrin Morning Wood. Have you heard of it?"

"I was not addressing you," the sorceress hissed. She flicked her fingers and Gherkin was slammed into the wall by an invisible push of force.

Meena strutted past him as the groaning goblin slid to the floor, Amaria covering her mouth to hide a smile. Meena ignored both and loomed over Ava, a good half a head taller than the blond elf. "But I see that you have better answers than the fat goblin. So maybe you will tell me how my goblin lieutenant, who barely leaves his bedchamber he is so often rutting with this other elf, managed to bring you into his harem."

"Oooooh, is this a harem?" Ava asked, jotting in her notepad. "I’ve been in one of those before. Briefly. Do I get a piercing or a brand or something?"

"A brand? What?" Meena rolled her eyes. "Are all elves as shameless as the two of you?"

"No," said Amaria. "Some are even more shameless, mistress. Ava’s aunt once beat a succubus in a cocksucking contest."

"Ridiculous," said Meena. "Who would even hold such a contest?"

"It was the barbarian—"

"Enough!" Meena’s shout rang through the chamber like the crack of thunder. She turned her harsh gaze back to Ava.

"How did you find your way to Gherkin?" She prowled closer, teasing her sharp-nailed fingers over Ava’s shoulder and the back of her neck.

Ava stiffened, those clawlike fingertips dragging up and down, her eyes arrested by Meena’s own. "I will remind you that lying to me will have serious consequences. Do not attempt any deception. I will see through it immediately."

"Um... W-well, I was doing a story and I came here looking to do some interviews," Ava said, trying to skirt the truth rather than lie to Meena.

The sorceress narrowed her eyes. She tilted her head as if trying to see into Ava’s mind.

The goblins below the balcony shifted with uncertainty. Few if any of them understood the argument that was playing out over their heads. But the sight of the two lovely women, one utterly naked, one garbed in leather, power, and sadistic leather was quite compelling.

"The adventurers," Meena said, revealing her cruel smile. "You came here with that group of meddling fools."

"Um, well, yes, with them. Only, I’m an observer. Why don’t you give me your side of the story and I can—"

"My side of the story?"

Meena snapped it out so hard that Ava flinched. Meena’s smile became cruel. She chuckled and then began to laugh. Ava couldn’t help but notice that Meena’s laughter made her tits jiggle and shake in her bodice.

"There could be nothing more tedious than explaining the machinations of the Black Horde," Meena cackled.

"Who?"

Meena’s smile slipped. "The Black Horde," she said.

Ava stared at her.

"...Led by the Horned One?" Meena said. "Conquered half the continent twenty years ago? Rape, pillaged, and cursed whole kingdoms in their path?"

"Ohhhh, that one!" Ava said, then frowned. "But, wait. Weren’t they beaten at the Siege of New Larrin?"

Meena tossed her head contemptuously. "A strategic retreat! We were not beaten. Only delayed!"

"Isn’t that what beaten means?"

"Silence!" Meena snapped, magic snapping off her like bullwhips of violet lightning. "The Black Horde was delayed only! And now, we rise again! Look!" she barked, gesturing at the portal below. "Look upon it! This time, there will be no failure. This time, we shall steal a march on New Larrin. Yes! Using these goblins, I have excavated these ruins. With their aid, I have reactivated the portal. And with it, I shall bring from the Cliffs of Karn the entirety of my horde! With the aid of my pig monsters, I will clear the path straight to the city! No news will warn them! No hope will save them! New Larrin will burn and what are you doing?"

"Writing this down!" Ava gasped, her quill a blur as she hunched over her notebook. "This is wonderful! And you said your name was Meena? Can I quote you that last bit? It’s gold!"

Meena grabbed Ava by the throat, the elf squeaking in surprise. The sorceress glared down into Ava’s startled blue eyes. "You stupid slut! You think this is a game? We shall soon destroy all that you—"

"Yeeeeeeeeee haawwwwwww!" cried a woman’s voice through the chamber.

A moment later, a pair of hulking piglike humanoids charged into the room with Maya and Dinah immediately behind them. The floor shook as rampaging hogs followed, surging all around them in a pink tide of porcine power.

Goblins screamed in surprise as the oinking beasts slammed into them with all the weight of a bacon packed cavalry charge, battering the scrawny humanoids aside, biting those too slow to get out of the way, and running over the rest.

There were too many charging hogs to be stopped. They seemed enraged, as if the humanoid pig men had translated something to make them feel solidarity.

Not since Animal Farm had pigs caused so much damage. Ava watched in disbelief as goblins were flung and trampled.

The two humanoid pigs waded through their four legged brethren and towards the fallen form of Arman slumped on the floor.

Maya was with them, cutting loose the farm girls as Dinah ran for the portal. The priestess halted before the crackling ring, her arms raised as she began to intone power words.

"What the fuck!" Meena cried, releasing Ava to grab the balcony’s rail, her jaw slack at the chaos unfolding. "What is this? What the hells is thiiiiiis!"

Meena launched a bolt of crackling energy that incinerated several of the charging pigs and sent several more squealing madly and running in different directions.

It also caught three of the goblins and they were instantly reduced to smoldering skeletons.

Meena didn’t seem to care. Fury painted her face, magic crackled in her hands as she flung more spells down onto the floor below, blasting apart pigs and goblins unfortunate to be too near them.

Meena’s long hair blew back from her shoulders with gusts of magical wind. Her attention swung towards the portal, caught sight of Dinah at work.

With a snarl, Meena hurled a bold of purple lightning at the priestess. The spell took Dinah in the back, smashing into her, making her arch, cry out and fall to her knees.

"No!" Ava cried.

Meena’s triumphant grin turned to a snarl as the priestess pulled herself back to her feet, body steaming but seeming otherwise unharmed.

"Oh, a bit of magic in you!" Meena spat as power grew in her palms, spitting and crackling in the air. "It will only prolong your suffering!"

Ava quivered, warring with herself, trying to obey her duty as a journalist and remain neutral. To allow the story to play out and merely observe. But she could not stand by and watch this woman kill Dinah. She had to act! Ava looked around, grabbed an ancient ceremonial copper plate, and smashed it over Meena’s head.

The sorceress never saw it coming, dismissed the elf for a quaking slavegirl. Lightning sputtered from Meena’s fingers. She swayed, her eyes rolling back, and she collapsed in a heap.

"Oh dear," Amaria said.

In a whirl Maya swung herself over the railing, the catgirl landing nimbly on the floor, daggers out.

She blinked in surprise at Ava with the plate over the motionless Meena, then laughed. "So you’ve got some steel in you after all!"

Ava squeaked, dropping the plate with a clatter. "Oh! Oh gosh! I... I didn’t mean..."

"Don’t care! Time to go," Maya said, grabbing Ava’s arm.

"Oh, but, um, Amaria!"

"Don’t worry about me," the other elf said with a smile, already sinking back to the tunnel they came in through. "I’ve survived the end of empires before, Ava. And this is nothing compared to those. I hope we meet again."

"Huh?"

"C’mon!" Maya said, yanking Ava over the edge of the balcony.

The elf screamed in surprise as she dropped through the air, only to land in one of the brutish pig monster’s outstretched arms.

Maya landed nimbly beside them, and for good measure kicked a stunned goblin standing nearby in the face.

"Good catch! Let’s go!"

The pigman snorted, running after her, soon joined by his companion, hoisting an unconscious Arman over his own shoulder. The pair pounded towards the crackling portal as Dinah intoned the final words.

With a hiss the portal snapped into being, solidifying, overlooking the intersecting streets of a small village.

Thatched roofs shimmered and a few townsfolk wandering about paused with shock, wavering in the portal’s shine. One of the massive pigmen let loose a deafening squeal, and like a sea of hog, the pigs milling around the room focused, charging towards the shimmering gate in a mass.

Head ringing, Meena hauled herself up by the balcony.

She stared dimly at the portal, but as the group dashed through it she blinked away her dazedness.

Lurching to her feet, she jabbed a finger at the portal. "Stop them!" she screamed at the goblins. "Get them! Get me that fucking elf you useless green-"

Explosions thundered through the room. Crackle bombs at the base of pillars burst, tearing through the ancient stone.

Goblins screamed as masonry tumbled down with deafening booms. One hit the stone ring of the portal, shattering it. The portal crackled, collapsing, magic pouring out like a sudden wave of steam.

Meena stared in slack-jawed shock as goblins fled and died in every direction. A groan had her look down to see Gherkin propping himself back up.

"Wha happened?" the fat goblin said blearily.

Fury twisted Meena’s lovely face. She grabbed the goblin by the collar of his makeshift cape, hoisting him up.

"This is all your fault!" she screamed.

"Huh?" Gherkin said.

For last words, it was a poor one. But what followed as Meena channeled her magic into the portly goblin’s form couldn’t rightly be described as words.

Gherkin convulsed as lightning arched through his body, the goblin’s eyes rolling, skin crackling like meat over an open flame as he was cooked from the inside out.

Snarling, the sorceress hurled the smoking carcass from her and over the railing.

She glowered at the room as it collapsed, and with it, all her plans for Hog’s Cross.

"There are other plans," she snapped, whirled about, and vanished down a tunnel moments before the whole chamber fell in on itself with a thunderous crash.

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