I Married Three Calamities (And Got A System For It)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Marriage Proposal at 2am

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"I heard you! I heard you, damn you!" Mars hissed in irritation, deeply annoyed by the loud banging against his door.

It was night. Around 2am or so, and he was wondering just who was at his door, deep into the night.

He should probably be worried, but he assumed those damned thugs around here weren’t civilized enough to knock before barging in.

Or maybe they’d learned some manners. But Mars didn’t believe that.

Thieves and criminals never learned manners. Not the low-level ones, at least. And only low-level thugs were around his poor neighborhood.

’And it’s not like there’s anything to steal here. I’m the most valuable thing in this room, and I’m worth next to nothing...according to my boss.’ He thought with a dry chuckle, shuffling through this small, cramped room, the scent of rice and bolognese sauce filling it completely.

He nearly stumbled over his blue waiter uniform on the ground, but Mars was used to it by now, managing to stay steady, though swaying a fair bit because of the numerous novels scattered on the floor and a game controller.

He finally reached the door and, before opening it, peered through the peephole to see his unwelcome guests.

Mars’s heart skipped a beat instantly. ’What?’

He hurriedly threw the door open, finding himself face to face with two men: one big and imposing, forcing him to crane his neck up just to see his hardened face; the other small and lithe, but with cruel eyes that put Mars on edge.

They wore black-and-gold uniforms, a golden palm cradling the Earth etched on their chests.

The Rightful Guardian.

Mars sucked in a deep breath and bowed his head, as he ought to, already regretting his earlier outburst.

"I’m sorry for—!"

"We don’t have time for this." One of them, the big one, said, his black eyes hard and heavy, "We’ve been respectful enough to knock, but we’ve already wasted more time than expected. No need to waste more."

His voice was heavy, and Mars felt his newly awakened Dream Seed tremble.

"I told you to just break down this little door, Captain." The one with cruel eyes said, his tone lilting, a sly smile on his blue lips. "It’s not like it costs much anyway."

"Enough, Joe." The captain said, turning to look at Mars, who was still bowing, still shivering.

"Come on, boy." He gripped Mars’s shoulder, his hand glowing a purple hue, and suddenly Mars’s mind began to grow hazy, "You’ve been summoned by the Leaders of the Three Prime Families."

’...what in the hell?’

His mind went blank.

...

Mars felt himself being shaken.

He groaned and slowly opened his hazel eyes, only to shut them immediately as bright light flared overhead.

He cursed under his breath.

"Now, sweetheart, don’t waste any more of our time, will you?" A gentle, yet sharp, feminine voice slithered into his ear.

This time, Mars’s eyes snapped fully open. His head darted around in a rush, and he found himself in a room worth more than his own organs combined.

He focused on the source of the voice, finding himself staring straight at three figures before him.

Two men and one woman, seated in throne-like chairs, separated from him by a table.

The woman sat in the middle, deep purple hair and matching eyes, dressed in a luxurious suit that framed her figure far better than the men’s attire framed theirs.

The man to the right had golden hair so bright it rivaled the light above, his eyes the same color, staring down at Mars the way a human might stare down at an insect.

Mars already disliked him.

The other man had black hair and pink eyes, smiling gently.

Mars didn’t feel at ease with that smile at all. It looked exactly like the one his boss gave him when he wanted Mars to work overtime...without pay.

Yes, that kind of smile.

Mars let his thoughts wander, trying to ignore the suffocating pressure crushing him from within...and the fact that he recognized all three people in front of him.

How could he not? The whole Earth knew them.

All three were famous Gifted, known to him only through the internet and TV. Beings with power beyond measure he never imagined he’d see in person.

Mallory Skygazer, Matriarch of the Prime Skygazer Family.

Adam Lightbringer, Patriarch of the Prime Lightbringer Family.

William Rose, Patriarch of the Prime Rose Family.

All three rivals, together in one room, with him at the center of it.

’What is going on here? I have work tomorrow, damn it.’

"You must be wondering what’s going on," Mallory said, "well, sweetheart, why, of course, your name was randomly selected out of hundreds."

"Selected?" Mars said timidly, unsure, his silver hair falling slowly over his face.

"Selected, yes. Selected." William picked up, his grin widening, "This is a secret, so be a good boy and keep it that way, will you?"

Mars said nothing, only nodding.

William continued, pleased, "The Rightful Guardian ordered us to end our endless battles with each other and form an alliance. Refusing that gentle ’demand’ meant having one of the strongest humans alive turn against us."

He smiled, "We’re not that stupid, are we?"

’...I wonder.’

"That’s why you’re here." Adam cut in, his voice cold, "We couldn’t find a way to form an alliance, given the lack of trust between us. But an idea presented itself."

"It just so happens each of us has a rather troublesome daughter, aged 18 or a bit older." Mallory spoke again, "Which means it’s the perfect time for marriage, don’t you think?"

’Wait...’ Mars’s eyes slowly widened, ’Wait, wait, wait!’

"Oh, you seem to catch on quickly." William said, laughing freely, "You’re right, boy. Very right, I’d say. To make sure none of us tries to trick the others, we’ve decided to marry each of our daughters to the same man, to guarantee our alliance and bind all three families together."

’God forbid, this...’

"And it turns out you’re the lucky man." Mallory said, and Adam followed, his voice sharp as a razor, sounding as though he wanted this meeting finished at once.

"Congratulations, Mars Fox. You’re marrying the three daughters of the Prime Families."

William pulled a paper out of nowhere and slammed it onto the table between them, then lifted his pink eyes to look at Mars,

"And the marriage is already finalized, all parties involved have signed the contract. Shall we bring you to your wives, boy?"

’All parties have already what???’

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