Today was strange from the moment I opened my eyes. I reached for Soryn in our nest of furs, my fingers seeking the familiar coolness of his scales, but the moment I touched him, he flinched. Not a small movement, but a full-body recoil, his serpent form tensing as if I had burned him.
"Sorry," he whispered, his voice rough and strange. "I am... sensitive this morning."
Last night had been our last together, the final night of my ovulation window now closed. We had made love with a desperation like it was the last. But afterward, when I turned to seek his embrace, the comfort of his coils around me, he had avoided me. He had mumbled something about needing to bathe and slipped away to the stream, leaving me alone in the cooling furs.
It was wrong. He always held me after, always wrapped himself around me until our breathing synchronized, until sleep claimed us together. I felt jilted, abandoned, my skin cold where his warmth should have been. But I tried not to read into it, tried to tell myself that even serpents had moods, had days when they needed solitude.
But after a full day of him avoiding me, of him flinching from every touch, of him leaving rooms when I entered, enough was enough.
I stopped in front of him as he tried to slip past me in the corridor, his head down, his movements jerky and uncoordinated. "What is going on, Soryn?" I demanded, my voice gentle but firm. "Why will you not show yourself to me? Are you angry with me? Did I do something wrong?"
He looked up then, and I saw embarrassment in his emerald eyes, saw the way his face flushed beneath his scales, saw the shame that twisted his features. He was avoiding my gaze, his jaw working as he struggled to find words.
"It is okay," I said softly, reaching out but stopping just short of touching him. "Tell me. Whatever it is, we will face it together."
He closed his eyes, his chest heaving with a breath he did not need, and when he spoke, his voice was barely audible. "I am shedding," he admitted, the words torn from him like confession. "I am sorry, Krys. I should have warned you, should have told you it was coming. But I thought I had more time."
"Shedding?" I repeated, confusion mixing with concern. "Is that... is it dangerous?"
"Not dangerous," he said, shaking his head, his movements jerky and pained. "But it makes me... unpredictable. Sensitive. The old instincts rise, the ones from before I was civilized, before I knew mercy. I become territorial and aggressive. I hurt those I love without meaning to." He finally met my eyes, and I saw tears there and humiliation. "I need to leave, Krys. At least two weeks, perhaps three, until the shedding is done. I need to be alone, somewhere isolated, where I cannot harm anyone."
"No," I said immediately, the word out before I could stop it. "No, you do not have to go. We can manage, I can help, I can—"
"I do not want to go," he interrupted, his voice cracking. "Just the thought of being away from you, from the cubs, from our home... it makes me furious. I want to rage against it, to fight it, to stay despite the danger. But I am scared, Krys. I am scared I will lose my mind and hurt someone. I am scared I will hurt you."
I reached for him then, unable to stop myself, and touched his coil. He flinched so hard he struck the wall, his scales rasping against stone, a hiss escaping his lips that was pure animal. He stumbled back, horror dawning on his face, and I saw how much this was costing him, how much he hated himself in this moment.
"I hate that I cannot help you," I whispered, tears streaming down my own face now. "Maybe I can alleviate your pain with my power. The blue binds, they can heal, they can soothe, they can—"
"No," he stopped me, his voice firm despite his shaking. He reached out, his hand trembling, and cupped my cheek with desperate gentleness. "No, my love. Your power is not made to be used for petty things like this. It is for life and death, for miracles, not for a serpent’s discomfort. I will naturally go through the process. I always have. I always will."
He pressed his forehead to mine, his breath hot and erratic against my skin. "I love you, Krys. Tell the cubs that I love them. Tell Jasper that I will be back before he can miss me too much. Tell Levy that her daddy Soryn is sorry he cannot hug her tonight."
Then he left.
I stood in the empty corridor, my hand pressed to my chest where my heart was breaking, and I let him go. Because love, I was learning, was sometimes letting someone walk away to protect what you had built.
I was sad, deeply and achingly sad, but I had to continue on. The world did not stop for grief, and there were others who needed me, who had waited long enough.
It was time to give my attention to Aureon.
We sat around the low table that evening, eating our meal of roasted meat and tubers, the silence heavy where Soryn’s voice should have been. I explained to them where he had gone, using simple words that the cubs could understand.
"Daddy Soryn had to go on a journey," I said, my voice steady despite the tremor in my heart. "He will be back soon. He loves you all very much."
Jasper’s lower lip quivered, and then he burst into tears, his small body shaking with the force of his grief. "I miss him already," he sobbed, burying his face in his hands. "I want daddy Soryn."
I gathered him close, holding him as he cried, my own tears falling into his hair. "I know, my love. I miss him too. But he will come back. He promised."
After we got the cubs to bed, their questions finally exhausted, their tears finally dried, I pulled Aureon to the side. The newest of my mates, the one who had waited with such patience, who had never demanded, never pressed, only hoped.
"Tomorrow," I said, taking his hands in mine, feeling their warmth and their strength. "Tomorrow I will complete our bond. Are you ready?"
Aureon looked at me, his eyes wide and shining with an emotion so profound it stole my breath. He grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles, his lips warm and trembling.
"Yes, Krys," he whispered, his voice thick with feeling. "I am ready. I have been ready for so long. I have waited my entire life for you, and I would wait longer still if you asked. But I am grateful, so grateful, that you are finally here."
I leaned into him then, letting his strength support me, letting his joy wash over my grief. One love had left, temporarily, painfully. But another waited, patient and true, and I would honor them both by being present, by being open, by being his.
The night routine made my mind leave Soryn, if only because I needed every functioning brain cell to survive the chaos that erupted the moment I mentioned the word "bath."
The cubs were being so bad.
Niku and Sikai, the usual troublemakers, they splashed each other and tried to drown the soap, but at least they got in the water.
Surprisingly it was Jasper.
Jasper, who never fussed, who usually floated through routines with the placid acceptance of a creature who only wanted to sleep, had transformed into a tiny demon of resistance. He clung to the doorframe with all four limbs, his face red with effort, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"I want daddy Soryn!" he wailed, his voice reaching pitches that could shatter glass. "He gives me the good baths! He does not scrub so hard! I hate this! I hate all of you!"
"Jasper, my love," I tried, crouching down to his level, my own exhaustion making my knees shake. "Daddy Soryn will be back soon. But right now, mommy needs you to be brave. Can you be brave for me?"
"No!" he shrieked, and then he did something I had never seen him do before; he bit Leon’s hand. Actually bit him, leaving tiny tooth marks in the golden fur.
"Ow!" Leon yelped, snatching his hand back and staring at it in betrayal. "He bit me! My son bit me!"
"Welcome to fatherhood," Veylan muttered from where he was drying Chase. "They all bite eventually."
It was chaos, pure and simple. By the time we got them all clean, dried, and dressed in sleeping clothes, the bathing room looked like a natural disaster had struck; water everywhere, soap embedded in cracks in the stone, towels strewn like fallen soldiers across the floor. I was soaked to the bone, my hair plastered to my face, my arms aching from wrestling slippery children.
When it was done, they went to bed, finally, mercifully, their energy spent, their rebellion crushed beneath the weight of their own exhaustion. I lay in the room with them, the newborns Zarek, Kaizen, and Tavren; now fast asleep in the bed beside me, their tiny chests rising and falling in perfect synchronization.
I stared at the ceiling, my body throbbing with fatigue, my heart aching with missing Soryn, but my mind strangely peaceful. Tomorrow we will begin. Tomorrow it was time for Aureon to really belong to this family, not as a guest, not as a patient observer, but as a true mate, a true father, a true part of us.
And as sleep finally claimed me, dragged me under into darkness and dreams, I smiled. Because even in chaos, even in grief, even in the exhausting, beautiful mess of our lives... we were together. And that was enough.
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