The old eunuch sat down and said, "Speaking of which, I asked around about that matter you mentioned last time. Heh, I thought you were talking nonsense back then, but it turns out you weren't joking at all. Good heavens, Emperor Shuncheng is truly something. Thinking about it now, though, it still feels a bit strange. It's just an empty title, so how could it be so important? Why go to such lengths to set up such a scheme?"
Chen Changsheng pondered for a moment, then shook his head as well. "At first, This Chen didn't quite understand either. For a mere disparity in a title, why go to such massive lengths? But later on, I slowly came to understand it."
"A difference is a difference in the end. Yan Ruchu's purpose in life was to one day restore Great Jing. Even though he had become the emperor and this world was practically the world of the House of Yan, it still fell short of perfection. He wanted the world to remember the word Jing, rather than Xiang. Only this way could he feel that he was truly living, rather than feeling like he could die at any moment."
The old eunuch looked a bit bewildered. He shook his head and said, "That really makes one wonder. In my view, he was a bit too stubborn."
"Yes."
Chen Changsheng said, "If he weren't stubborn, how could there have been so many years of chaos?"
The old eunuch sighed softly, lamenting, "A person's life is truly fascinating."
"They are all fascinating," Chen Changsheng said.
The old eunuch froze for a moment, then immediately began to laugh.
Their conversation was a bit baffling, but they alone enjoyed it.
Just that single word: "fascinating."
Holed up in this Library Pavilion reading books, Chen Changsheng found some old play scripts as he flipped through the pages.
Opening them, he found them familiar.
It was as if he had flipped through them before.
When was it again...
As Chen Changsheng was thinking, he heard the old eunuch sweeping dust ask, "Why are you staring blankly at that play script?"
"I thought of someone."
Chen Changsheng snapped back to reality, opened the script, and began to read.
"Want to talk about it?"
"Then I'll talk about it."
Perhaps to Chen Changsheng, voicing some things actually made him feel a lot more comfortable. He often brought up past events to the old eunuch, and the old eunuch was more than willing to listen. He was very interested; after all, these were stories rarely heard by a eunuch deep within the palace.
Chen Changsheng spoke of Xianle, that tragic princess from back then. She died in the stagnation of the state; a cup of poisoned wine turned her into a spirit, leaving her all alone in this Library Pavilion.
"I've heard of her."
The old eunuch said, "I've heard of this princess. I previously heard someone chatting about these things. That man understood history books quite well; his family fell into ruin and he entered the palace. While chatting idly, I heard him mention Princess Xianle, and he felt deeply aggrieved on her behalf."
"So there are still people who remember her..." Chen Changsheng said in a daze.
The old eunuch froze for a moment upon hearing this and said, "Of course. She is recorded in the history books, after all."
"I see..."
Chen Changsheng recovered his wits and continued speaking. "The very first time I met this little princess, it was also right here in this Library Pavilion."
The old eunuch pricked up his ears and focused on listening to the story.
Chen Changsheng spoke from beginning to end, rarely leaving anything out. Even though this story seemed pieced together from bits and pieces, he told it in its entirety.
The old eunuch was in a daze for a while after listening, then asked, "She took up ghost cultivation. Doesn't that mean she's still in the Mortal World right now?"
Chen Changsheng paused, pondered for a moment, and then shook his head.
"I don't know."
The old eunuch asked in confusion, "You haven't seen her since?"
"Ever since she walked out of Shangjing City, I haven't seen her again."
Chen Changsheng thought for a moment and said, "Perhaps she's no longer in the mortal realm."
"Reincarnation?"
"No, her soul scattered."
"Didn't you say those who practice ghost cultivation have endless lifespans?"
"Yes, but she was different. Perhaps she simply wanted to leave on her own."
Chen Changsheng said, "Ghost cultivation isn't a good path. After transforming into a spirit, one forgets warmth, cold, and hunger, and loses all desire for many things. It is under such circumstances that they slowly lose themselves. Why do some benevolent wandering ghosts turn into vicious spirits and malevolent ghosts? The fundamental reason lies exactly there. Living while isolated between yin and yang cannot be considered living at all."
"To think there's such a saying..." the old eunuch muttered. He then asked, "Then there must be those who can endure it, right?"
"Of course," Chen Changsheng said. "The Way of Ghost Cultivation first and foremost tests one's state of mind. If one's state of mind cannot pass the trial, the final result is simply the soul scattering. But once they step past it, the road ahead is endless."
Hearing this, the old eunuch joked, "I won't lie, I'm actually quite interested."
"You'd best not be interested."
Chen Changsheng said bluntly, "You don't have that state of mind. By complying with the natural order of heaven for your next life, you might just be born into a good family. But if your soul scatters, you'll be left with nothing."
The old eunuch thought about it, yet still couldn't understand. "If we're talking about the next life, then I certainly won't remember the matters of this life. The so-called scattering of the soul is no different from losing one's memories."
Chen Changsheng pondered for a moment and said, "What you say makes sense, even though it's a bit subjective."
"Doesn't everything in the mortal world stem from the mind?"
"Hmm..."
Chen Changsheng turned to look at him and asked, "Do you really want to practice ghost cultivation?"
But the old eunuch shook his head and said, "I was just saying that. I don't really mean it. I have no lingering attachments left anyway, so what would I do staying in the Mortal World?"
At his advanced age, the old eunuch had also come to understand certain truths about life.
Chen Changsheng said, "If it had been a few years earlier and This Chen had agreed to it, you might have sought death on the spot."
"Heh, that's really possible."
The old eunuch said, "People, you know, always understand more the longer they live. For someone like me who hasn't gained clarity in life and lacks that level of comprehension, living longer just means more torment."
"Yes, it's such a simple truth," Chen Changsheng thought to himself.
Thinking of this, the old eunuch asked, "Speaking of which, what about you? How long have you lived? Has it been hundreds of years?"
"A hundred years or so, maybe, but the days I was truly alive have been few."
"Huh?"
"Not as long as you imagine."
Chen Changsheng smiled self-deprecatingly and said, "I am the kind of person you spoke of—one who hasn't gained clarity in life and lacks the proper state of mind, yet has still obtained longevity."
"I didn't mean that." The old eunuch opened his mouth and said, "I didn't mean to mock you..."
"I know."
Chen Changsheng said, "If it were possible, I wouldn't want longevity either."
"Huh?"
The old eunuch didn't understand again, saying, "This situation of yours is quite complicated; it's got me a bit clueless. To say something unpleasant, if you truly didn't want it, why not seek... seek death?"
"I just can't die."
Chen Changsheng spread his hands and said, "That is why it's a torment."
Listening to such words, the old eunuch fell silent.
After a long while, he uttered a single sentence.
"Why do I feel like there's a hidden meaning in your words?"
"This Chen is not showing off."
"I think you are."
"..."
"I'm really not."
"Alright, alright."
The old eunuch waved his hand, his face filled with exasperation.
He couldn't die, and yet he was still unhappy about it.
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