Just One Orgasm!

She wiped her cheek.

"I hate wondering if she’s going to remember me."

Another tear fell.

"I hate pretending that it doesn’t hurt when she doesn’t."

Emilia didn’t interrupt.

Kylie took a shaky breath.

"I hate that everyone keeps telling me she’s getting better."

She looked at Emilia.

"What does better even mean?" Her eyes were red now. "Because she’s not getting better."

She shook her head. "She’s forgetting." Her voice broke. "She’s forgetting everything."

Emilia pulled her closer.

Kylie leaned against her shoulder.

"I know the doctors said it might happen." She sniffed. "I know." Her fingers tightened around Emilia’s hand. "They warned me."

She looked down.

"But knowing something is going to happen doesn’t make it hurt less when it actually happens."

Emilia nodded.

Kylie wiped her face.

"I’ve been doing this for years." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Years, Emilia."

She stared ahead.

"I’ve been waiting for her to get better." She laughed between her sobs. "Every visit, I tell myself the next one will be different."

She shook her head.

"Every single time." Her voice trembled. "I go there hoping."

Emilia rubbed her back.

"And then I come home and tell myself it wasn’t that bad."

Kylie looked at her.

"Today was bad."

Emilia’s eyes filled.

"Today was really fucking bad." Kylie looked away. "I couldn’t even cry in front of her. She already looked scared."

Her voice softened. "She didn’t know me." She swallowed a sob. "And she was scared of me."

Emilia’s face tightened.

Kylie nodded. "She told me not to touch her." Her lips trembled. "My own mother." Her tears dropped to the floor as she looked down. "She pulled away from me like I was a stranger."

Emilia pulled her closer.

Kylie didn’t resist. She rested her forehead against Emilia’s shoulder.

For several seconds, neither of them spoke.

Kylie whispered, breaking the silence. "And I hate to make this all about me."

Emilia immediately shook her head. "You’re not."

"But who am I supposed to talk to?" Her voice broke. "What am I supposed to do?"

Emilia’s arm tightened around her.

Kylie finally let herself cry.

"It’s been years of hoping, Emilia." Her shoulders shook, and she sniffed. "Years."

She buried her face against Emilia’s chest. "I keep hoping." Her words came muffled. "I keep fucking hoping."

Emilia wrapped both arms around her.

Kylie cried quietly. She let out the exhausted tears that seemed to have been waiting all day for permission to come out.

Emilia stroked her hair tenderly. "You’re allowed to be tired."

Kylie shook her head. "I shouldn’t be."

"Why?"

"Because she’s my mum."

"So?"

Kylie pulled back slightly. "So I’m supposed to keep going."

Emilia looked at her. "You’ve been keeping going."

Kylie stared at her.

"For years." Emilia brushed a tear from her cheek. "You don’t have to pretend you’re okay every second."

Kylie looked away. "My mum used to be so strong." She smiled sadly. "She was the strongest person I knew."

Emilia listened.

"She used to tell me that crying didn’t solve anything." Kylie laughed softly. "Then she’d cry when she thought I wasn’t looking."

A tear rolled down her cheek. "I knew when Dad hurt her."

Emilia went still.

Kylie swallowed. "He hurt her when she was pregnant." She didn’t look at Emilia. "He wouldn’t stop."

Her voice was quiet. "I remember being told to go to my room."

Emilia’s hand remained on her back.

"I remember sitting there." Kylie stared at nothing. "Listening." She closed her eyes. "I remember hearing my mum scream."

Her voice cracked.

"I remember thinking if I stayed quiet enough, maybe he’d stop." She opened her eyes. "He didn’t."

Emilia’s heart ached.

"Randall never got to be born because of that abuse." Kylie wiped her face. "He never got to have a birthday."

Her lips trembled.

"He never got to annoy me." She gave a broken laugh. "Never stole my clothes. He never got to do anything."

Emilia’s eyes filled.

"My dad called it an accident." Kylie’s jaw tightened. "I’ve never called it that. I hate him."

"I hate him." Kylie suddenly broke. "I hate him so fucking much."

She buried her face against Emilia’s chest.

"I hate him." Her voice cracked completely. "I hate him."

Emilia held her tightly.

Kylie cried harder. "I hate him for what he did to her." Her hands clutched Emilia’s shirt. "I hate him for Randall."

She sobbed.

"I hate him for making her this way."

Emilia stroked her hair.

"I hate him for leaving me with all of this." Her breathing became uneven. "I hate him."

Emilia whispered, "I know."

"I hate him."

"Let it out, baby."

"I hate him so much."

"I know."

Kylie cried into her chest until the words stopped making sense.

Emilia didn’t tell her to calm down.

She didn’t tell her everything would be okay. She didn’t tell her that her mother would get better.

She simply held her.

Eventually, Kylie’s crying became quieter.

Her grip loosened.

She stayed against Emilia. "I feel stupid."

Emilia shook her head. "You don’t look stupid."

"I cried all over you."

"I don’t mind."

Kylie gave a tired laugh. "You have class tomorrow."

"So do you."

Kylie sniffed. She lifted her head. Her face was swollen red from crying.

Emilia reached for a tissue and gently wiped beneath her eyes.

Kylie stared at her. She gave a tiny smile.

"Thank you."

Emilia smiled back. "You don’t have to thank me."

Kylie leaned against her again.

The room became quiet. The afternoon light slowly disappeared behind the curtains.

Neither of them noticed.

Kylie eventually shifted backward until her head rested against the pillows. Emilia moved beside her.

Kylie pulled the blanket over herself.

"Stay."

Emilia looked at her. "Okay."

Kylie closed her eyes.

Her breathing slowly became steadier. Emilia remained beside her, with one arm around her shoulders.

A few minutes passed.

Kylie’s fingers found the sleeve of Emilia’s shirt. She held onto it loosely.

"Don’t go."

Emilia looked down at her. "I’m not going anywhere."

Kylie’s eyes remained closed. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Kylie nodded faintly.

Her breathing softened.

The tension slowly left her face.

Emilia stayed beside her, gently stroking her hair. Within minutes, Kylie’s breathing became slow and even.

She had fallen asleep with her hand still curled around Emilia’s sleeve. Emilia didn’t move.

She simply stayed there, holding her friend as the room grew darker around them.

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