Rising Shards

Side Fangs #156: “Mr. Benta IV”

Caya strummed her fingers as she read over the meeting itinerary another time. She had Berin and Mr. Soleri to her right and left, and across from her on the setup of computer tables rolled together was Kitty, who stuck her tongue out when she saw Caya looking her way, and Ms. Corinani with her.

“Were you two the only ones from Wildfire Hearts that decided to join us?” Soleri asked.

“Uh huh,” Kitty said.

“And we’re just waiting on…” Berin trailed off just before Principal Penteldtam burst into the room, already nervously laughing as he walked circles around a shorter gentleman in a greenish brown suit.

“That was one of the worst speeches I’ve ever seen! What the hell is going on at this school, you nitwit? Are you truly this stupid?” The man said.

Caya knew they were meeting with a representative from the Benta Scholarship organization, but wasn’t sure which member. She hadn’t met this one before.

“I would like you to know I’m doing my best,” Penteldtam said as he pulled a chair out for the shorter man.

“What about the requirements! The tasks! You dunce!” The man dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief, then swatted it at Penteldtam until he sat down next to him.

“I’d prefer if you were less hurtful about this, sir. Just warning you now, I am about to cry.” Penteldtam said.

“Good, you should be crying, maybe letting out some emotions will block up the dams of idiocy in your brain and let some smarts back in! How on earth did you become principal, anyways?”

“Through, well, some…kind of process, I imagine.” Penteldtam said. “I don’t really remember so it’s probably not important. I wish my main man Mantorvel was here. You’d love him, sir!”

“I don’t care about your ‘main man'…hold,” the man held up a finger as he sniffed the air. “There are unfamiliar odors here. And unfamiliar faces too.” He turned and noticed the other guests in the room.

“If I may introduce myself.” Berin started.

“You may not.” The man said. “Wait, actually that’d be good. But let me go first. My name is Jonn Benta IV, but please only refer to me as Mr. Benta IV, or I’ll punch you in the larynx.”

“Now, I forget sir, are you the Benta?” Penteldtam asked.

“I’m a Benta,” He said. “A distant cousin of the Benta. Being distantly related to actual famous people is the one thing I think we have in common, Kilanders.” He adjusted his glasses. “Good gravy, how many Kilanders are working at this cesspool?”

“Technically two cesspools,” Kitty said. “My school, and theirs.”

“Three, actually,” Soleri said. “I consider Falling and Rising Shards each their own school.”

“You people never shut up, and nobody’s even said their names!” Benta IV said. “I need another piece of candy.”

Mr. Benta IV nodded and grunted as each at the meeting introduced themselves, save for Corinani, who was cut off before she could say anything.

“Who let her in here?” Benta IV asked.

“She’s my assistant!” Kitty said.

“I’m a bestselling author.” Corinani said.

“Really? I’ve never heard of you.” Benta IV said.

“You don’t even know my name.” Corinani said.

“Whatever,” Benta IV said. “And the Wildfire Hearts headmaster is…?”

“Not present,” Corinani said said.

“Very old,” Kitty said. “So he didn’t show up. Ha ha!”

“Good, that guy creeps me out. He heebies my jeebies, if you will.” Benta IV said. “Since you lot are the only ones who showed up, and I’m missing my vtuber streams for this, maybe let’s please get this over with?” He cleared his throat as he plopped a suitcase in front of him, shuffling through some papers. “First. Sixteen big globules in the void.”

“Globules?” Berin asked.

“Big merging things, I don’t know!” Benta IV said. “What’s a good word for it? We’re going with globules. A bunch of globules happened, aren’t those dangerous?”

“Sixteen is pretty good for us.” Penteldtam said.

“Is it? Sixteen is a big number! How many globules is bad?” Benta IV said.

“Well, maybe around thirt—" Penteldtam started.

“Wrong! Any globules is bad! The fact that there are so many void nodes haphazardly mushed together by students is unruly! And scary! And I don’t even get it! What the heck even is the void anyways?”

“That falls upon the Wildfire Hearts students more so than any at the Shards schools.” Caya said, glaring at Kitty.

“And you just let them run roughshod over you?” Benta IV asked.

“Kinda?” Penteldtam said.

“Really? Show some backbone, you spoon of a man!” Benta IV said. “And how many kidnappings? Void-nappings? Don’t you imbeciles have any other words for this place than void? I hate this so much!” He looked through his suitcase and pulled out a bag of hard candy, loudly crunching on a handful. “What gaooebed to Atrax, anyhow? I always got along well with that fellow.”

“I’m sorry sir, ‘gaooebed’?” Berin asked.

“Oh, that’s just my silly way of saying ‘happened.’ It’s an inside joke between myself and Mr. Atrax.” Benta IV said.

“He had an accident and is on leave.” Caya said.

“Oofta, that blows,” Benta IV said. “My next question is what are you idiots doing about that Exile character?”

“I think you should direct that question to Kitty.” Caya said.

“Who, little ol’ me? Do I actually get to talk?” Kitty asked. “The Exile works at Wildfire Hearts. I was told that if you have any questions for the Exile, you may direct them to the Wildfire Hearts media team, who will in turn relay them to the Exile.”

“I bet it was one of you dung beetles masquerading around in that silly getup,” Benta IV said. “In Echela schools, you never hear about Endoran vigilantes.”

“I’m pretty sure you do,” Penteldtam said.

“I don’t! Don’t put words in my mouth!” Benta IV said. “Oh, why’d I get this stupid job watching over Cani schools? Why couldn’t I keep watching over Echela schools? Echela schools are so much easier! We just have our robotics, and mathematics to boot! Do you have math at any of your two to three schools in this interconnected web of stupidity?”

“There’s plenty of math and robotics at our school.” Caya said.

“Oh, I’m just so sick of it all!” He buried his face in his arms and whimpered.

“Well, unfortunately, or fortunately? You’re assigned to Cani schools at the moment, so we’d like to get our word in.” Berin said.

“God, shut up!” Benta IV said. “Your voice is annoying! So annoying I almost forgot the main thing I was going to say!” He grabbed another handful of candy. “So you’re doing like a school versus school deal?”

“Yes, we enacted the Recreant Protocol, as defined in the district rulebook.” Caya said.

“Because Wildfire Hearts won’t cool it with the raiding?” Benta IV asked. “By the way, stop that please. I have to monitor all the lawsuits you jackrabbits get also, so I’d like to limit that.”

“We’ll try, my good dude.” Corinani said.

“Oh my god, shut the hell up,” Kitty said.

“I’m just being supportive! We’re supposed to be good!” Corinani said.

“I agree with the Kilander, just stop talking already.” Benta IV said. “If you do this Recreant thing…”

“Well, it started already.” Berin said.

If you do this Recreant thing! Do it by the books! I don’t want any controversies whatsoever!” Benta IV said. “The big, main point I want to make before I leave this odd smelling place. All the schools in this county need to shape up, or it’s the buckets for you.”

“The buckets, sir?” Penteldtam asked.

“Yes, the buckets!” Benta IV said. “I’ll have you know I am heavily considering some big restructuring of all these awful schools. And I have the power to do that, because I am not only on the Benta team, but I’m on the school board as well, and they sent me here!” He laughed so hard that he started wheezing, then began to cry. “I actually have to come back here regularly now, so by the next time I visit this pond scum, I want all your students on the scholarship actually doing things for the scholarship, or doing your silly wrecker game or whatever. You know what a good school looks like, surely, so at least try to imitate that!”

“We have a lot of exciting things planned for the education of the students that we’d like to share with you, Mr. Benta IV,” Berin started. He began to load up a slideshow, but Benta IV stood up abruptly and left the room.

“Guess we’ll have to show him next time,” Berin said.

“He didn’t even ask anything of me.” Soleri said.

“Can we go then?” Kitty asked. “Come on.” She gestured for Corinani to follow.”

Kitty glared at Caya as she left.

Berin patted Penteldtam on the back, who looked more than a bit shaken by the meeting.

“You doing alright, bud?” Berin asked.

“Honestly, that went pretty well for a meeting with Mr. Benta IV.” Penteldtam said. “Usually I’m crying a lot sooner, and for a lot longer.”

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