I was guessing that in the Kris Krag world, we’d all be kind of exaggerated and simplified versions of ourselves, but I should have figured with Kalei getting a totally made up backstory that the others would as well. For example, I thought Lillia would be in a stern hall monitor type role here, but Kris Krag talked to her like she was a hyperactive choir star, and mentioned her cheerleading prowess a lot. Lillia did her best to play along, but the void monster masquerading as the most generic guy ever did not make it easy.
“I always wanted a cheerleader to cheer out my name,” Kris said. “Something like, “Gimme a K! Gimme an R!’ That sort of thing, you know? That must sound silly…”
“I’m not doing that,” Lillia said.
“Oh…” Kris sulked and wandered away.
“Lillia, you’re gonna lose points.” Oka said quietly.
“Good,” Lillia said. “I’m just putting someone else to the front, this quickens the process overall, don’t you think?”
“Lillia has a point,” Kalei said. “I’m pretty sure I’m in the lead so we could try just focusing his attention on me, I guess.”
“No…” Marmalade said, her head low.
“Huh?” Kalei asked. “Something wrong with that?”
“Ah,” Marmalade jolted, giving away that she maybe didn’t mean to say that out loud. “Just that it sucks...that the burden falls onto you?”
“Thanks, but I just want this over with,” Kalei said. “Plus, whoever gets ‘close’ with him is the one that gets to kick his ass, right? So it sucks for now, but the payoff will hopefully be worth it.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Marmalade said. She hid behind the big artsy notebook she’d been given for her character.
“We also determined that Zeta is in the lead with Kalei,” Oka announced. “I just wanted to note that.”
“And?” Iris said.
“I just wanted to note it, I just said!” Oka snapped.
“Zeta could take the lead,” Lillia said, stroking her chin. “But after her performance on the rooftop, I think that may delay things further.”
“You could all see me on the roof?” I asked.
“We were watching from the shadows,” Oka said. “And it was quite infuriating. Not you, just that guy being into you. Dr. Diast, do we all get a turn beating him up? Pretty please?”
“It probably won’t be an easy fight, so maybe,” Diast said.
“I can probably take him,” Kalei said. “And I’m way better at flirting than Zeta, so I got this.”
“Hey, I think I’m pretty decent at it!” I said.
“She is!” Oka said.
“See, this is also why neither of you should be the one,” Iris said. “So annoying with that.”
“With what?” I asked.
“With the whole mushy gushy business, like we got it,” Iris said.
“Just ignore her, it’s past four and she hasn’t had her Lotsa Choco cookies yet.” Maia said.
“Right, I haven’t even had my four o’clock cookies yet!” Iris said. Her crankiness was helped by her being put into a goth archetype in the Kris Krag world, with a monochrome outfit and heavy makeup. Maia’s clothes were mostly the same as her usual casual wear, but she had really expensive looking sneakers on. “And I’m taking it out on my friends…see what no cookies and a jerkass dude monster does to an Iris? It’s not pleasant!”
“It’s not helping with my headache, that’s for sure,” Lillia muttered. “Let’s move on, shall we? So for this next round, everyone but Kalei try to seem as unlikable to Kris as possible.”
“It’s finally my turn tell this guy off,” Aira said. Her outfit had been changed by this void node to be that of a train conductor with a big hat and overalls. Aira surmised that Kris had overheard something about her incident at the train station earlier in the day that was almost too chaotic to follow when she casually explained it to us.
“Just remember, getting angry at him seems to make him more clingy,” Oka said.
“So how are we supposed to be unlikable for him?” Aira asked.
“Let’s try going against the roles assigned to us,” Lillia said.
“Zeta, you better just stand there because ditzy klutz is pretty on brand for you,” Kalei said.
“OK, in my defense, I feel like I’m tripping way more than I usually do,” I said.
“We are in his domain,” Oka said. “And if our clothes change, there’s probably more he has control of, too.” She had seemingly been put in a preppy mean girl character, which was so unfitting that it made me giggle to think about.
“Yep, and the longer you’re here the more likely his influence will get stronger,” Diast said. “He probably used a bit of that power just influencing you to keep him around back in the home world. So maybe quicken this whole thing up a bit?”
“Yeah, we got our plan, we just need…where’d he go?” Kalei asked, looking around.
I wasn’t sure if this was some Kris Krag defense mechanism, but he made us wait. Maybe it was to make us feel bad for him and give him more of our time, but we were all pretty done with this even with whatever his influencing powers were in this place.
“Ah, if it isn’t my favorite gorgeous women,” Kris said, appearing so suddenly that we barely had time to suppress our groans at his line. If he was sulking earlier, he didn’t show it now. “Hm, who should I spend time with today…?”
“I hate trains,” Aira announced. “If there’s one thing that’s not my hobby, it’s uh, it’s trains! Those locomotives, hoo boy, they get me steamed. Diesel, steam, uh, other kinds. All of them aren’t my thing. I may be dressed like a conductor. But alas!”
We all turned to the monster guy to see his reaction. Kris just squinted.
“And I…like…nerds?” Oka said. “I like being nice to everyone no matter the social clique? Definitely not being as mean as. I…” She coughed and mumbled until Kris wasn’t staring at her anymore.
“It’s a bright and sunny day! I love everything!” Iris said, doing jumping jacks. She then smacked Maia on the back and nodded eagerly at her.
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be, how can I go against it?” Maia hissed, her mouth in a forced grin. “I got…shoes. These are my only pair.”
“I know you asked to see my art yesterday,” Marmalade said. “But…I didn’t draw any. I just did my math homework because I thought it would be funny to turn in a big sheet of paper. Sorry to let you down.”
With Kris Krag now focused on me, I had to do something to not seem klutzy.
“Uh…check this out!” I said. I figured doing a jumping jack like Iris and landing it well would prove my lack of clumsiness or something. “Hup!” I cold have sworn when I jumped into the air there was nothing in my nearby vicinity, but when I landed, for some reason a bunch of garbage cans popped up and I tumbled into them, knocking them over. Oka helped me up, but my pride was severely wounded.
“Hey, don’t worry about her,” Kalei said, putting a buttery smooth voice on. “Wanna hang out with me today?”
Kris smiled. “I think today, I’ll hang out with…” He looked over all of us once again. I was sure he’d pick Kalei. The rest of us weren’t playing along. She was the only one to show interest, right? “Hm, I think Marmalade.”
“Huh?” Marmalade said.
“And…would you like to go with me someplace special?”
“Huh?” Marmalade said.
Kris took Marmalade by the hand and led her away from the school, heading down the sidewalk into the foreboding suburbs.
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