Sorcerer in the Marvel Universe

The moment Thor stepped aboard the Quinjet, he walked straight toward Sif.

"It’s been a long time."

"Thor..." Sif replied softly, meeting him halfway.

Then... nothing.

She simply stood there.

Everyone else in the cabin exchanged increasingly frustrated looks.

Even Tony Stark, whose expertise lay almost exclusively in terrible romantic decisions, could tell exactly how Sif felt.

Captain America wasn’t much of a relationship expert either, but even he found himself thinking the same thing as everyone else.

Just hug him already.

You charge headfirst into battle without blinking. Why freeze now?

Thor, completely oblivious, continued speaking.

"I owe you an apology."

"I left you on Earth because you were unconscious. I didn’t know what awaited us when we returned to Asgard."

Sif’s eyes drifted away from Thor... and landed squarely on Evenson.

There was enough resentment in that glance to make him quietly look elsewhere.

"I couldn’t risk taking you into danger," Thor continued sincerely. "Afterward, Fandral, the others, and I all worried about you."

Sif smiled.

"It’s all right."

"I understand."

Inside, however, her heart was soaring.

He was worried about me...

Evenson watched the exchange with an expression somewhere between disbelief and pity.

Worried about you?

He ignored you fifteen minutes ago.

If I didn’t know Thor’s attention span personally, I’d think he was an expert flirt.

Still...

Seeing Sif’s radiant smile, Evenson sighed.

You’re really letting him off that easily?

Fine.

Maybe if I help things along, you’ll stop forcing me to drink with you every time you’re upset.

He quietly stepped behind Sif.

"Whoa!"

He suddenly stumbled with theatrical enthusiasm, flailing his arms as though he’d slipped.

One wildly swinging hand shoved Sif squarely between the shoulder blades.

She had no time to react.

With a surprised gasp, she fell directly into Thor’s chest.

Thor instinctively wrapped an arm around her.

For one glorious instant, everything seemed to be working perfectly.

Then Thor’s battlefield instincts kicked in.

He saw Evenson fall.

He saw Sif unexpectedly shoved forward.

His brain reached exactly one conclusion.

Ambush.

Without hesitation, Thor pulled Sif behind him with one arm while raising Mjolnir with the other.

Lightning crashed through the sky.

The hammer erupted with thunder.

Thor scanned every corner of the Quinjet, ready for the unseen attacker.

Several long seconds passed.

Nothing happened.

"..."

"..."

"...Would someone mind getting me down?"

Evenson’s irritated voice echoed through the cabin.

Everyone looked up.

Thor had reacted so quickly that he’d summoned lightning inside the aircraft.

The resulting blast had punched a hole through the roof.

The sudden pressure difference created a powerful upward draft.

Unfortunately...

The "accidentally" fallen Evenson had been lying directly beneath it.

Now he was plastered against the ceiling like a particularly disgruntled bat.

Tony couldn’t stop grinning.

"You know... I actually think you look pretty good up there."

Peggy folded her arms.

"I told you."

"You’re darker than Fury."

"You denied it."

Evenson was currently wearing his demon form, his obsidian-black skin making the comparison inevitable.

He immediately protested.

"This is noble obsidian!"

"It is a refined and distinguished shade of black."

"It has absolutely nothing in common with Nick Fury."

Captain America, being the only genuinely compassionate person in the room, finally climbed up, pulled Evenson free, and jammed his vibranium shield over the hole to stop the airflow.

Evenson slumped into a seat wearing the expression of a man who had just learned the universe disliked romantic interference.

Trying to help people get together really is hazardous to your health.

A few minutes later, while no one was watching, Sif quietly approached him.

"...Thank you."

Evenson smiled.

"You’re welco..."

"I’ll buy you drinks when we get back."

His smile vanished.

Natasha chose that exact moment to drive the knife a little deeper.

"While we’re discussing consequences..."

"This aircraft is worth several hundred million dollars."

"Who exactly is paying for the hole in the roof?"

Every eye turned toward Thor.

Thor immediately defended himself.

"I believed we were under attack."

"It was an instinctive reaction."

The room collectively looked at Evenson.

He blinked.

"I slipped."

"Is that a crime now?"

Neither explanation satisfied anyone.

The argument continued all the way back to the Helicarrier without reaching any conclusion whatsoever.

After landing, the passengers dispersed.

Evenson stopped beside the Quinjet’s silent co-pilot, a field agent who had spent the entire mission hidden beneath tactical gear without speaking a single word.

"Hey."

"What’s your name?"

The agent immediately snapped to attention.

"Field Agent 89757, sir!"

Evenson nodded approvingly.

"Good."

"Do you happen to have powerful relatives?"

"No, sir!"

The answer came without hesitation.

"I earned my position through the Academy."

"I’ve never relied on connections."

Evenson’s smile grew warmer.

"Excellent."

He patted the agent’s shoulder.

"Then how would you feel about taking responsibility for the hole in the aircraft?"

The agent’s expression froze.

His soul briefly left his body.

Evenson slipped on a pair of sunglasses with the satisfaction of a man delivering a valuable life lesson.

Kid...

You still believe the world is fair.

Someone has to cure that innocence.

You’re welcome.

He hadn’t even reached the Helicarrier’s command center before Natasha intercepted him.

"Come with me."

"Director Fury has another assignment."

Evenson’s first thought was immediate panic.

Please don’t be about the Quinjet.

"What assignment?"

"We’re interrogating Loki."

Natasha kept walking.

"Why do you need me?" Evenson asked.

"Interrogation is your specialty."

"Fury has dealt with Loki before."

"He knows Loki is dangerous."

She glanced sideways.

"He’s the God of Mischief."

"If he has magical tricks prepared, having an actual spellcaster nearby is a sensible precaution."

Then her voice lowered.

"There is... something else."

She leaned closer, looking oddly embarrassed.

"Do you know what Sarah likes about me?"

"If I knew..."

"I could change it."

Evenson pretended to consider the question with complete seriousness.

"You could try wearing no makeup."

"Grow your hair long."

"And straighten it."

Natasha stared at him.

"...That’s your professional advice?"

Evenson nodded gravely.

"It might save your life."

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