The Main Character is the Villain

- We would like to invite you, Peta Lusius, to the Guest Teacher event for the Middle and High School Divisions at the Academy. Further details will be provided by an academy guide by the date written below.

That was the content of the letter from the Academy. The date indicated was one week from today. I sat in my office, scanning the letter, a smirk spreading across my face. I can be a teacher at the Capital Academy? Even if it’s just a guest teacher, it still means I get to play around there, right?

“Groom. What’s written in that letter that’s making you laugh like that?”

Eve was sitting in the seat next to me. Today, Eve was serving as my work assistant instead of Sieri, who had been diligently working as my proxy until now. Sieri seemed to want to work with me rather than rest, but I had forced her to take a break anyway.

“Apparently, I can go be a teacher at the Academy?”

“We’re screwed.”

Eve said it without a moment’s hesitation. To her, me entering the Academy as a teacher seemed akin to an act of destruction. As she coolly summarized my future career as a teacher as being ‘screwed’ while looking at her documents, I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt.

“Hey, what do you mean, ‘screwed’? What part of this is screwed? Who’s a better fit for a teacher than me?”

“Groom. You know you’ll be truly screwed if you get caught laying a hand on an Academy student, right?”

Although I was happy about going to the Academy as a teacher, I had no intention of touching the female students. Touching a female student at the Academy was a far more dangerous action than screwing a captured mermaid or a widow in the Northern Territory with nowhere else to turn.

My scandal with Erina hadn’t escalated into a major problem because Erina herself hadn’t said anything to me, and the kingdoms were mutually hushing it up. But what if I were to touch a student at the Academy? What if that student got pregnant or blabbed to others about her relationship with me? That one trivial action could cause all the karma I’ve accumulated to explode, and my life could genuinely be over.

The students at the Academy were talents that the nation was actively supporting. That’s why I had no intention of touching them. The risk was huge, and the return was too small. Now, if I were to screw a teacher, that would be a different story.

“......Really?”

But Eve didn't seem to believe my resolve. Even though I said I wouldn’t touch them, she asked again, her voice laced with suspicion.

“Yes. Really.”

After I affirmed it once more, Eve didn't press the matter any further.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Who is it?”

“Ah, My Lord. I-it’s Sieri. I was wondering if there was any work I could help with...... Resting all by myself, I’m so...... I don’t even know what I should be doing......”

Eve and I grinned as we heard Sieri’s voice from the other side of the door. Our eyes met, and Eve, smirking, gestured toward the door with a nod.

“Just let her join us. She wants to work that badly.”

“Sieri. Come in.”

At the words telling her to come in and work, Sieri looked as happy as a puppy whose owner had just brought out a frisbee. She was trying hard not to show an embarrassed expression, but the corners of her mouth were twitching into a smile, and she expressed her utter joy by squirming. If she were a beastfolk, her tail would probably be wagging furiously. Eve spoke, giggling.

“Ah, look at that expression. Seriously.”

“Really...... Ms. Eve. Please don’t tease me so much.”

“It’s because you’re cute. Because you’re cute.”

Since Eve was speaking my mind for me, I decided to go with the flow.

“Sieri is cute.”

“Sieri is cute.”

As Eve and I kept repeating ‘Sieri is cute’ with silly grins, Sieri didn’t know what to do with herself, squirming and shrinking into a corner of the room. With a flushed face, she looked at us and managed one word.

“.....You’re so mean.”

Ah, fucking cute.

***

A week passed. Young Lady Rosalyn Yuba finished her week-long sightseeing of the territory and returned safely to the capital. Despite the accident that occurred when she first arrived, she seemed to have a very high opinion of the Peta Territory. As soon as Young Lady Rosalyn Yuba was gone, Robin dropped his solemn expression and reverted to his usual self.

“Robin. You seem low on energy. Are you that sad that Young Lady Rosalyn Yuba left?”

“Not at all. I am fine.”

“But your expression looks gloomy.”

“To be honest, a little. That’s why I’ve been visiting the pig farm lately to soothe my troubled heart by watching the pigs.”

“......I see.”

It seemed Robin had found his own way of dealing with a long-distance relationship, so I decided not to meddle.

The academy guide arrived late that evening. He was a skinny scholar with glasses. A timid disposition was visible beyond his round spectacles. As if sorry for his late arrival, he bowed his head and apologized to me repeatedly as soon as he stepped out of the carriage.

“I am sorry. I have arrived late.”

“You made it on the same day, so it’s fine. Rest today, and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

It was the next morning when we finally started talking properly. I was genuinely curious about how I should conduct myself as an Academy teacher, so I had many questions for him. The scholar sat with the [Academy Education Code] on the desk, as if ready to answer anything.

“So, why me of all people?”

I started by asking about the part that bothered me the most. To put it bluntly, my image wasn't exactly the best. I was happy about becoming an Academy teacher, but I was also curious by what standard these bastards had selected me. Objectively speaking, wouldn't AA, who defeated the Demon King and married the Elf Princess, be a more suitable person for a teacher than a mermaid-loving, zoophilic High Priest having an affair with the princess of the Elf Kingdom?

Why choose me? Are there mermaid enthusiasts at the Academy too?

“Ah, could it be that you are not pleased with the offer of being a guest teacher at the Academy......”

The scholar showed a sign of anxiety at my question and asked back. He was fidgeting, afraid I might refuse. I shook my head and said.

“No, no. I think it’s a very good proposal. I believe it will be of great help to me as well. But, I’m curious about the criteria for my selection. I think knowing this will make it easier for me to understand what the Academy expects of me.”

“Ah, the criteria, you say. High Priest Peta Lusius, you ranked first in the Academy’s survey on ‘The Person We’d Most Like to Have as a Guest Teacher’.”

“Why?”

“Pardon?”

Hearing the reason only made me more confused. Have the Academy students gone crazy from studying too much? They want to call me as a guest teacher? Why? Is this similar to a situation where people vote for the slow kid in the class president election as a joke, only for him to actually win? Seeing the scholar struggle to answer, I quickly changed the question. It was a question that wouldn’t lead to anything good by digging deeper.

“Never mind. The fact that I ranked first in such a survey… I’m overjoyed. Now then, I’d like to know how the classes are conducted.”

“Ah, yes. The classes are scheduled for Monday and Friday of this week.”

The scholar began to explain the class schedule, pointing to dates on a calendar he had brought. The calendar he took out from his coat was packed with the education schedule. The writing was so small that it was hard to read even when I squinted. I could faintly make out only the letters for ‘Guest Teacher.’

“Monday and Friday? I guess a guest teacher teaches twice.”

“You will be in charge of the Middle School and High School Divisions as a guest teacher.”

“I guess I won’t be doing the Elementary School Division?”

“The parents were vehemently opposed to it, so......”

I shouldn’t have asked. The scholar glanced at me nervously even after he had answered. The atmosphere became awkward again. To break this awkward atmosphere, I threw another question.

“Will I be visiting both the boys’ and girls’ schools? I heard the Capital Academy separates boys and girls.”

I asked, dredging up a memory from the game. In the game, the boys’ and girls’ classes were separate; you could get a decent piece of equipment from the boys’ class and one of the heroines from the girls’ class.

“Ah, about that......”

The scholar showed reluctance at my question. What is it? Fuck, what’s the problem this time? Why does this scholar look so troubled every time I ask a question?

“What’s wrong?”

“The girls’ academy currently prohibits men from entering, so you will not be able to go in.”

“Is that so? Can’t be helped, then.”

In the original story, the classes were separated by gender, and male students couldn't enter the girls’ section of the Academy. The fact that I, an outsider, couldn’t enter wasn't all that strange. Though the phrase ‘men are prohibited’ did sound a bit odd.

“For the classes, you can focus on stories from when you defeated the Demon King or the subjugation of the northern demihumans. Most of the students who wanted you as a guest teacher did so because they wanted to hear such heroic tales.”

The scholar suddenly started explaining the content of the lessons. His speech became faster and flustered, as if he was trying to change the subject.

“I understand. That’s a simple task.”

Fortunately, the stories the Academy students wanted to hear were about the Demon King Subjugation and the Northern Demihuman Extermination War, not my sexual exploits. It wasn’t a story I couldn’t tell, nor was it a difficult one to tell, so I nodded. When I nodded, the scholar let out a deep sigh and wiped the sweat from his face.

It seemed the very act of talking to me was a burden for the scholar. The scholar asked me.

“Do you have any other questions?”

“Questions, you say...... Ah, I’d like to talk about the payment.”

You shouldn’t do what you’re good at for free. When I brought up the subject of payment, the scholar looked a little surprised. He said.

“As for the payment, we will allocate a separate Academy budget for you. May I ask what amount the High Priest has in mind? We cannot give you a lot, but we will try our best to accommodate you.”

“No, I don’t need money. Instead… can you give it to me in school uniforms?”

“Do you mean the male school uniform?”

“The female school uniform. Five custom-made sets in different sizes.”

“.....May I ask what you plan to use them for?”

“I will use them on my wife.”

“.....I do not think that will be possible. The Academy’s school uniform is not an object to be used for such a purpose......”

“We won’t have sex, just a fashion show. Can’t you give them to me?”

“I cannot.”

“I’ll wear them myself. Please, just one set.”

“......”

“Why? A person can cross-dress a little if they want to.”

In the end, the scholar refused my demands. Stingy bastard.

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