The Main Character is the Villain

To quote the scholar who, to the very end, said he could not give me a school uniform: The Academy is the face of the kingdom, and the Academy’s uniform is the Academy itself. Therefore, we cannot release an Academy uniform to an outsider. This is because if the Academy's uniform were to be associated with lewdness or any kind of shady entertainment, the Academy's honor could fall with it.

He wasn't exactly wrong. But I couldn't hide my regret. I was living in a fantasy world, and I couldn't have Academy school uniform sex? That was something I couldn't tolerate. According to the scholar’s information, there was still about a month of leeway. It took roughly a fortnight to get to the capital, which meant I had a fortnight of free time.

I couldn't just give up on school uniform sex. If they couldn't get me a uniform, I'd just have to make one myself. The capital had plenty of skilled tailors, and I had two perfectly good eyes. I’d just observe the female students' uniforms at the Academy with my own two eyes, and if I offered a tailor a premium, they'd surely make a set of clothes for me in secret.

“Fuck, if you don’t have teeth, you live with your gums. Isn't that right?”

“Husband. So, you want me to write my measurements here?”

Eve stood before me, pen in hand, copying down her body measurements. Since the Lord's Wife's dresses were custom-made, Eve had a paper with her body measurements. In the case of someone like Sieri, for whom I had recently ordered clothes myself, her body measurements were already written in my notebook. Eve wore a rather uncomfortable expression. I asked.

“Eve. What’s wrong?”

“No, it’s just… this is really okay, right? It is?”

“Of course, it’s fine. I’ll make the design slightly different. I told you, even the Academy can't say anything.”

Next to Eve, Aira, who was also writing down her body measurements, unconsciously nodded at Eve's question and looked at me with anxious eyes. In Aira's case, I had called a professional tailor to take her body measurements and create a form, so all she had to do was copy it over. Anyway, what do these girls take me for? No matter how much I didn't discriminate between beastfolk or mermaids as sex partners, I had a line. Minors were outside my strike zone.

“I don’t touch minors.”

“…Then I’m fine with it.”

Eve believed my statement. The lingering feeling was so unpleasant that it was more fitting to say she chose to believe me rather than actually believing me. Aira nodded with a slightly more distrustful expression than Eve. I asked Aira.

“Aira. Are you done writing?”

“Ah, yes! Yes, here you go.”

I took the papers from Aira and Eve and put them in my bag. The only ones left in this mansion to get sizes from were Cellu, Elsi, and Soya. I had left Soya and Elsi to the tailor, but I planned to measure Cellu myself. I decided to head to the swimming pool first to ask Cellu for her body measurements. When I went to the pool with a pen and paper, I found Cellu sprawled out at the edge of the pool, sunbathing.

Her flopping tail looked like a flatfish thrown on the bare floor of a seafood market. I went behind Cellu and poked her tail. Cellu slightly opened her closed eyes, looked at me, and grinned.

“Heh.”

“What were you doing?”

“Sunbathing.”

“Trying to become a dried pollack?”

“What’s a dried pollack?”

I imagined a sun-shriveled Cellu, then shook my head. Cellu’s curiosity shifted from the dried pollack to the pen and paper I was holding. She sat up and pointed to them in my hand, asking.

“What’s that?”

“This? Cellu. It’s paper to write down your body measurements.”

“My body measurements? Why?”

“I’m planning to order a group uniform.”

“Mermaids don’t wear clothes.”

Cellu said this, showing off her lean figure. As she stretched her back upwards with her tail trailing on the floor, her breasts swayed. I nodded at her words and said.

“That’s right. Mermaids don’t normally wear clothes. But I want to dress you in a pretty outfit, Cellu.”

“I’m in the water most of the time, so I can’t wear it much anyway.”

Cellu said, shaking her head. I could sense a sign of burden on her face. Her reason was realistic, but I wanted to dress Cellu in an Academy uniform, too. The reason was nothing special. It was because I wanted to fuck a mermaid in a school uniform. I said.

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to wear that outfit every day. Think of it as a gift, like a wedding ring. It’s not particularly practical, it just takes up space and gets in the way, but when you look at the clothes I gifted you, you’ll be able to feel my love. Understand? It’s an expression of my love for you, Cellu.”

“Heh, love Eve more than me. She might talk tough, but she always loves you.”

Cellu smiled brightly, seemingly pleased by my words, but she was still looking out for Eve. I once again held out the pen and paper.

“Of course, the one I love the most is Eve. Cellu is next.”

“That feels strange in its own way.”

“Then would it be right to put Cellu as the first priority?”

“I don't know. That feels strange in its own way, too.”

Cellu said, shaking her head. The corners of her mouth were raised, but her smile also held a hint of bitterness. I said.

“Cellu. Have you ever had your body measurements taken?”

“No. Measure me.”

Cellu spread her arms wide. As she turned her body toward me, the pink nipples that had been hidden by her hair made a slight appearance. Below them, her firm abs and smooth waistline were revealed. I took the tape measure I had prepared and approached her. The smell of the swimming pool wafted from her damp hair.

I set the pen and paper aside so they wouldn't get wet and hugged her from behind. As the tape measure lightly pressed against her chest, Cellu made a groaning sound of discomfort. I whispered in her ear.

“Stay still, Cellu. If you move, the measurements will be off.”

“I don’t think this is so bad.”

It was a rare, honest impression. A knight who had stepped out for a moment saw me hugging Cellu, cleared his throat, and turned away. Cellu said to me.

“A knight just saw us and ran away. What do you think he was thinking?”

“He probably thought we were a beautiful couple.”

“I think he probably thought, ‘The Lord is fucking a mermaid outdoors now.’”

“Cellu. Excessive self-deprecation is not good for you.”

I stopped measuring Cellu’s waist and tightened the tape measure. As it squeezed her waist, Cellu struggled in surprise. Her tail thrashed, slapping against my thighs.

“Heuk, you, don’t tighten it so much.”

“It’s a punishment. You are the Lord’s mother-in-law. You should be dignified, like a mother-in-law.”

“I want to be, too.”

Cellu said. A strange emotion was woven into her un-playful voice. It was a voice that seemed to be trying hard to suppress its gloom. I loosened the tape measure around her waist and looked at Cellu. Cellu was still smiling with her tongue stuck out. She said.

“Am I a necessary existence in this mansion?”

“Of course. I need both Eve and you, Cellu, very much.”

“We’re contributing to your bad image, you know. Every outsider who comes to the mansion says it, that Peta Lusius is really breeding mermaids to have sex with them.”

“Who says things like that? I’ll find them and smash their faces in.”

“That’s a vicious cycle. You know, right? At first, I counterattacked because humans attacked us. But when I killed humans, stronger humans came flocking. After repeating this, I became numb to murder. You’re the same. For a human, the fact that you copulate with a mermaid is close to an insult. You know that, right? You used to have a fit whenever you heard that, didn't you? But now you just let it slide. You’ve become numb to slander.”

“So what? I defeated the Ain in the Northern Region, and I even caught the Demon King with the Hero. Right now, I’m playing a big role in the operation to chase Evangeline. No scandal can bring me down. Slander that can’t interfere with my life is no different from losers imitating the sound of a dog barking.”

In the past, I would get annoyed if people babbled about me being a mermaid-lover or a zoophile, but not anymore. It was because no matter who said what, my position in this kingdom was already solid. It was enough to just smash the heads of the humans who openly called Eve a 'fish' or made snide remarks about my sex life. But Cellu shook her head and said.

“If you act like that, Eve will forever remain just a mermaid. I want Eve to become a person.”

“Eve herself thinks she’s a mermaid.”

“But she isn't a mermaid.”

Cellu always drew a line when it came to the issue of whether Eve was a mermaid or not. It was as if she was insisting that Eve was human and she herself was enough of a mermaid, always arguing that Eve was human. My tape measure was now measuring Cellu's arm.

I felt the need to come to a clear conclusion on this. I opened my mouth.

“Cellu. You and Eve are shunned because of your brutal criminal records. This would be the same even if you weren't a mermaid. Even if I become a pristine human, even if you, Cellu, were to leave our mansion of your own accord, I don’t think other humans would accept Eve. Rather, Eve would just become my flaw.”

Cellu didn't answer my words. She was looking at the mansion’s athletic field.

Eve is not accepted by society because she is a murderer and a rapist. Beyond the racial issue, this was the biggest problem. In the name of revenge, both Eve and Cellu had killed too many people. I had used the privilege I gained from defeating the Demon King to save the two of them, who would have originally been hanged.

This was an unchanging fact, even if Cellu insisted that Eve was human. Eve had already come too far to set foot in the world of humans.

“Cellu. You need to face reality. The reason Eve claims to be a mermaid is because she was abandoned by humans and you took her in. If even you say she's not a mermaid, then who on earth is Eve? If humans call Eve a mermaid and you say Eve is human, who should she rely on?”

Cellu looked at me. Her face was contorted. It was the first time I had seen such a face on her. She hugged me and said.

“You’re right. But I wish Eve was human. I don’t even wear clothes. I can’t cook the food Eve likes, nor can I share hobbies with her. I can’t tell other groups to get along with Eve. Because Eve isn’t a mermaid. Eve can’t sing like a mermaid, and she prefers her food cooked rather than raw. So I… I know it’s an absurd greed, but I wish Eve was human.”

I hugged Cellu’s back tightly and began to console her. Is Eve a mermaid or a person? At the trial venue, I had obtained a verdict that Eve was human, but it seemed that being a person wasn't something decided by a verdict document. Is it enough that I call Eve a person, and that the people of our territory think of her as a person? What on earth is needed for Eve to become a 'person' as Cellu wishes? What is the 'human' that Cellu wants? How can it be achieved?

"You're very greedy, Cellu."

My head was a mess. This wasn't a conversation that could be concluded while taking measurements for clothes. I tried to end the story with a joke.

"Heh, you made me this way. You bad person."

Cellu noticed my hint that I was trying to wrap things up and smiled for me.

"But you still like it, right?"

"I like you second to Eve."

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