There Must Be Something Wrong With This Game!

「Ten minutes later.」

"Friend, have you found enlightenment?"

The Missionary of Love, who clearly did not have the physique of an elementary schooler, looked down at Nemo on the ground and asked with a serious expression.

"Enlighten my ass!" Nemo, lying on the ground covered in bruises, yelled furiously. "Are you even playing a card game anymore?! I’m asking you, is this a card game?!"

"My heart and my actions are as clear as a mirror. Everything I do is an act of love!"

"Stop tacking on words just to hit some arbitrary character count!"

"Friend, it seems you still lack love."

Hoisting Nemo up with one hand, the Missionary of Love gave a benevolent smile. "But do not worry. I will fill you with love."

"Get away from me, you creep!"

"Duel!"

"AHHHHH!"

Nemo logged off.

There was no reward for quitting midway, but Nemo didn’t even want a reward at this point; he just logged out immediately.

After he logged off, the player ID above the default NPC’s head vanished, and the elementary schooler’s behavior returned to normal.

His eyes glazed over. He then started walking home in a daze, muttering, "Weird, how did I get here?"

"Why is that weird-looking uncle staring at me?"

Ignoring the elementary schooler, the Missionary of Love suddenly turned his head to look at a street corner not far away.

Over there, a fourth-grade elementary schooler was watching him with a cold, silent expression. The ID above his head revealed his identity.

Shadow God.

The guild master of the medium-sized guild [Eternal Night], former guild master of the Icefield Walkers, and the 31st-ranked star player.

The current Shadow God was dressed in a cold, arrogant style. His gothic attire gave the elementary schooler a somewhat sinister air, and the scooter at his feet was covered in strange decorations, showing off Shadow God’s unique taste.

The chirping of cicadas filled the silence between them, lending their staring contest a certain Zen-like quality.

Suddenly, the Missionary of Love asked, "Did you see that?"

"See what? Your sunken man-boobs?"

"Shadow God, you too would stoop to such vulgar language? Your verbal coarseness reveals a lack of love within you. Noticing my flaw means you instinctively crave love! Come, let me envelop you in my love! Du—"

Before the Missionary of Love could finish his shout, Shadow God had already slapped on his headphones, hopped on his scooter, and zoomed down the slope, darting through an alley at the bottom of the street with extreme speed.

A duelist never runs from a duel—provided they can hear the challenge.

Using his headphones to avoid the Missionary of Love’s duel invitation, Shadow God thought back on the scene he had just witnessed as he rode his scooter.

’So that’s the kind of card the Missionary of Love uses.’

But before he could process it, he heard a series of furious roars from behind him.

The voice was so piercing that even the death metal blasting through his headphones couldn’t drown out the shouts.

"Shadow God! Duel!"

"What? A shovel? You wanna drive an excavator?"

Playing dumb like a pro, Shadow God sped up, but the explosion of male hormones was still getting closer.

The stench of sweat and the sound of panting seemed to be right beside his ear. Even without turning his head, he could hear someone running behind him, endlessly repeating, "Duel!"

’Is this really a fucking elementary schooler?’

’What kind of elementary schooler runs around shirtless making noises like a pervert?!’

After passing through a bush, Shadow God felt the ground beneath him disappear. The road had abruptly ended, sending him falling through the air and plummeting toward the playground below.

Adjusting his posture in mid-air, Shadow God landed smoothly with a groan from his scooter. He then heard a shockingly loud thud from behind him.

Braking his scooter, Shadow God turned to look back and saw the Missionary of Love sprawled out on the ground, his condition unknown.

He hesitated, and just as he was about to call for help, he saw the Missionary of Love get up, rubbing his chest. "That was close. Almost broke a rib. Good thing I have a Talent."

"What kind of Talent do you have? You’re fine after a fall from that high?" Shadow God couldn’t help but ask.

"Undying Body. Once per dungeon, I get a chance to revive with full health and all statuses cleared!"

"So you’re saying you actually died just now?! Then you can stop worrying about your ribs, can’t you?!"

"It’s fine. My stamina just recovered. Now then, du—"

"Duel with me, Shadow God."

A voice that suddenly cut in interrupted the Missionary of Love’s duel invitation.

They had landed right in an elementary school playground. A group of kids eating cheap popsicles in the shade were staring at them curiously, their eyes widening when they saw the Missionary of Love’s physique.

"A monster!"

"A running, jumping, man-eating muscle monster is here!"

A few of the more timid kids wet their pants on the spot and ran home crying.

The once-lively playground was instantly left with only a few people.

After a moment’s hesitation, Shadow God looked at the person who had issued the challenge, a look of realization dawning on his face. "Duan Someone?"

"Shadow God? You know me?"

"The man who could defeat my dark side, Nemo? Of course I know you. To meet here must be the guidance of fate and the morning star. Under this bright moonlight, I accept your duel! Show your card, Duan Someone!"

"Okay."

After yelling this, Shadow God, as if by tacit understanding, walked over to Duan Fei and asked, "Where’d you get the popsicles?"

"The little shop over there. Fifty cents for two."

"Lend me some money."

"Don’t even think about it. I’ve only got two bucks left. I really love these things, but Cuihua and I only got one each, and Jinghong got two."

Shadow God turned to look at Jinghong. "Lend me some... never mind."

For some reason, he felt like he shouldn’t ask that person for a snack.

Even though they were devastatingly cute, his biological instincts were screaming at him: ’Don’t ask, definitely don’t ask!’

’That one is dangerous!’

Sitting down next to Duan Fei, the two of them made no mention of the duel, which allowed the Missionary of Love, who was standing to the side, to figure a few things out.

He let out a cold laugh and crossed his arms. His tower-like physique was bathed in a holy glow by the dusk, as if a god of muscle had descended upon the mortal realm, radiating the kind of domineering aura that screamed he’d kill your whole family if you looked at him wrong.

"Go ahead and stall. If I leave, I lose," the Missionary of Love said.

"My parents aren’t home. I can stay here all day," Duan Fei said, raising his hand.

"My parents are divorced, and no one’s watching me. I can stay here all day too," Shadow God said, drooling as he stared at the snacks.

The Missionary of Love was about to say something else, but then he saw a true Valkyrie approaching in the sunset—it was the mother of his current avatar.

And she was the real god of muscle.

The radiance of her muscles was enough to purify all evil.

Her body, forged through a thousand trials, sparkled like a diamond, making the Missionary of Love’s muscles look utterly insignificant.

Seeing the warrior goddess, the Missionary of Love sighed and said to the others, "Fine. You’ve escaped today, but tomorrow..."

"You little brat, time to go home! What do you think you’re doing, not doing your homework all day?!"

The Valkyrie sent the Missionary of Love flying with a single slap, then turned to the others and said gently, "Sorry to bother you. You should all head home early too, don’t make your families worry."

Watching the Valkyrie carry the Missionary of Love away, Duan Fei felt that this dungeon was truly a case of crouching tigers and hidden dragons; one master after another kept appearing.

But tomorrow...

’This is going to be tough to deal with.’

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