There Must Be Something Wrong With This Game!

Inside Duan Fei’s home.

Steamed buns and pickled vegetables were already laid out on the table. The still-warm stir-fried dishes indicated that the cook hadn’t been gone for long.

Song Zhe had already gone back. Duan Fei, Jinghong, Cuihua, and the Shadow God were gathered in Duan Fei’s home. Each grabbing a steamed bun, they finished off the food before sitting cross-legged together to discuss what to do next.

After they had eaten and drunk their fill, the Shadow God was the first to speak. "Duan Someone, first, thank you for helping me escape the pursuit. That muscular demon monk is terrifying. Even a preset scenario like this could turn out this way."

"Muscular demon monk? You mean the Missionary of Love?" Duan Fei asked curiously.

"Yeah. His original name was Tang Sanzang—as in, ’bury heaven, bury earth, bury your whole family.’ His style used to be relatively normal, but he accidentally entered a certain dungeon while he was live-streaming. On stream, he was forced to become a Magical Girl and then had an epic battle with a tentacle monster."

Duan Fei imagined the muscular demon monk wearing a frilly little skirt, fighting a slimy tentacle monster.

’All the wardrobe malfunctions and torn clothes in between... the mere thought of it made me want to puke.’

The Shadow God patted Duan Fei’s shoulder and lamented, "You can probably imagine it, right? Anyway, his stream was banned that same day. The reason for the ban was ’content is excessively disgusting.’ And his original 100,000 followers grew to 200,000..."

"Why did they increase?"

"’Macho Little Bunny,’ ’Just Gotta Dote on You,’ ’Boonie Bears...’ The new fans were all men, and their interests were also men."

"Oh, I get it."

"Anyway, after that incident, Tang Sanzang died. In his place rose the Missionary of Love. Now, he starts preaching his twisted love and justice the moment he sees anyone. Although he’s become a total pervert, his strength is nothing to scoff at. That crazed energy is actually a pretty good fit for the dungeons in Abyss."

After hearing the Shadow God’s intel on the Missionary of Love, Duan Fei asked another question. "Then why was he hunting you?"

"Because I saw his secret. He doesn’t use Monsters to play cards—he gets on the field himself."

A clap of thunder illuminated two pale faces.

For a moment, Duan Fei didn’t know how to react.

"I was originally planning to settle the score with Nemo, but I happened to see his entire card game with Nemo. He started by using the Magic Card ’Hero Summoning’ to bring himself onto the field. After that, he just kept attacking, directly attacking the opposing player."

Imagining the scene, Duan Fei realized this tactic would be incredibly hard to counter.

"But Nemo’s no slouch when it comes to talking his way out of things. He was a guild leader, after all. How could he lose a rule-bending argument like that?"

"That’s the Missionary of Love’s second trait. He doesn’t listen to other people’s nonsense. He’s a character completely immersed in his own world. Other people’s rule-bending has no effect on him, even with a crowd watching."

"After all, all he needs to do is beat people up."

"Yep, that’s right. As long as he keeps attacking and makes his opponent fall, that’s all that matters. In the end, Nemo took a full four punches, and each one made him cry for a long time."

"Tragic. But so satisfying."

"Yeah, I thought so too. I was really happy watching it. Anyway, that’s the situation. The remaining players in this dungeon are you, me, Jinghong, Cuihua, and the Missionary of Love. Cuihua and Jinghong are definitely going to help you, and I’m prepared to repay my debt to you, so..."

"Hold it."

Duan Fei stopped the Shadow God, then tilted his head and asked, "Why are you assuming I’m going to lose to you? Are you trying to get out of our deal?"

"Of course not. It’s just that when it comes to fast-talking, I fear no one!" the Shadow God said confidently.

"So you’re saying you’re pretty brave, huh."

"Are you kidding? I’m super brave."

"...Wanna go?"

"Let’s go!"

They flipped on the lights in the house, set up the game console, and Duan Fei and the Shadow God started playing cards on the side, constantly trying to out-talk each other and discovering new avenues of rule-bending.

The game console stayed on. Jinghong played some old games while Cuihua watched from the side, acting as the audience, approving or disapproving of every nonsensical argument.

The battle raged until dawn, when the Shadow God, unable to hold on any longer, finally collapsed.

Before passing out, he said defiantly, "I didn’t lose to you, I lost to sleepiness! How can you last so long!"

Duan Fei, also sporting dark circles under his eyes, grinned triumphantly. "One-dollar coffee candies. You’re worth it! They’re pure caffeine; even a kid could stay up till dawn on these."

"Damn it, you used your wallet power!"

"Money is part of the game. Don’t play if you don’t like it."

Watching the Shadow God pass out, a weakened Duan Fei walked over, took the man’s champion’s credential, and then promptly fell asleep beside him.

After they both fell asleep, Jinghong, who had been dozing in front of the game console, crawled up.

She quietly moved next to Duan Fei, dragged him to a more spacious spot, and then curled up beside him like a kitten, smiling with satisfaction.

They slept until the afternoon. The awakened Duan Fei sat up, scratched his head, and reflected on what a good sleep that was.

Most virtual reality games had a sleep function. When it detected the user had fallen asleep, it would automatically activate a program to help them rest more comfortably.

However, this function was extremely difficult to implement. The human brain was incredibly complex, and figuring out how to let players get better sleep within a game had always been a challenge. He never expected Abyss to have cracked it.

’Just how many more surprises does this game have in store?’

First, he carried the sleeping Jinghong to the bed. Then he sat down and began to ponder how to deal with the Missionary of Love.

Rule-bending arguments were at their weakest against such a stubborn, single-minded player.

Because you never knew which would come first: the fist or the card.

"Anyway, let’s test his strength first. Cuihua, can you help me out?"

Cuihua nodded solemnly and said in a low voice, "I would go through..."

"Go through fire and water for me, I know, I know. No need to be so dramatic. Just a simple probe of the Missionary of Love will do."

"Un-understood."

Finding the Missionary of Love wasn’t hard.

The city was small, and the Missionary of Love’s stamina was extraordinary. He could patrol the entire city in half an hour, constantly searching for Duan Fei and the others.

When Cuihua, carrying a clothes-drying pole from the house, came before the Missionary of Love, his eyes lit up with excitement. He rushed over, shouting, "A duel!"

"A d-duel!"

Right from the start, the Missionary of Love immediately declared, "My turn! I activate the Magic Card ’Hero Summoning’!"

"Ro..." ’Shouldn’t we play Rock-Paper-Scissors to decide who goes first?!’

"There are no heroes in my deck, because it’s all ’Hero Summoning’!"

"Ma..." ’You can only have three copies of a Magic Card!’

"Since there are no heroes, I must bravely step forward and become a hero myself!"

"You..." ’What part of you is a hero?!’

"Therefore, my favorite code is..."

"Al..." ’Alright, fine, you’re a hero.’

Duan Fei and the Shadow God, observing from the shadows, silently jotted down the code, preparing to go back and see what kind of spectacular content it was.

Then, the Missionary of Love roared and shouted at Cuihua, "I summon myself in Attack Mode! Missionary of Love, attack!"

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