AYLA

It was noon before I realized how badly I had been dreading this moment. I had spent the entire morning trying not to think about Lucius.

It had not worked.

Every time my mind wandered, it somehow found its way back to him and the way my body reacted whenever he came near me.

The fear that had crawled up my spine yesterday when he had tried to kiss me.

To the questions that had been multiplying in my head since Astrid told me the truth about the princes.

They were not my brothers.

Lucius had lied about that and he had lied about why I had supposedly run away from my family.

He had lied about my father.

How many other things had he lied about? I did not know.

Another reason I could not take their words at face value was that it was also a probable chance that they were the ones lying to me and not Lucius.

If only I could remember something concrete than flashing memories. I had tried to force myself to remember but all I got for that effort was headaches.

A knock sounded at my door.

I looked up to Amara walking into the room.

"Lord Lucius summons you," she said.

I swallowed and rose to my feet. My legs felt strangely weak as I followed her out.

The corridors seemed longer than usual and every step toward Lucius’s chambers made the strange feeling in my stomach worse.

I kept telling myself that there was nothing to fear.

He was my mate. Whatever else was happening, that much was true.

I could feel the bond. I just could not understand why the rest of me seemed to reject him.

Amara stopped in front of a set of doors and knocked.

"Enter." Lucius’s voice came from the other side.

She pushed the door open and I stepped inside.

He was standing in the middle of the room. His hands were clasped behind his back, and the moment his eyes landed on me, a smile spread across his face.

It was the same smile I had seen countless times. Warm, affectionate and almost convincing.

"There you are." He looked me over slowly. "You look beautiful."

I forced a smile.

"Thank you."

He took a step toward me.

"I have been waiting for you." he said, raising a hand and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his knuckles brushing my cheek. My skin prickled where he touched. I could not say why. I could not name the thing that made me want to step back from him.

"You have been quiet," he said. "Is everything well?"

"I’m sorry."

"There is nothing to apologize for." he frowned, staring at me.

His gaze made me uncomfortable

I shifted slightly.

"You seem nervous."

"I am not."

"Is that so?" Lucius leaned closer.

But immediately his lips touched mine, I saw a flash of an image...

I saw a room,at night. My room... a a masked man walking in then the image shifted to a tent, the taste of blood on my lips, being knocked unconcious... Lucius’ voice, his face.

I stumbled back, away from him.

He immediately frowned.

"Hey, hey... are you alright?"

I could not answer. My heart was hammering in my chest and my breathing had become very shallow.

I pressed my fingers against my temples. My head was throbbing and Images kept flashing through my mind too quickly to catch.

I remember...I fucking remember now.

With that thought came the dawning horror that I was standing in front of him and still at his mercy.

"Ayla..." his voice was guarded now and he was looking at me with narrowed eyes, waiting for me to speak.

I shook my head from side to side, willing my throat to work. I had to stop panicking, I had to collect myself if not I was going to make him suspicious of me.

"You look unwell, Ayla. Let me..."

"I’m fine."

"You are shaking."

I looked down.

He was right.

My hands were trembling so bad. I clasped them together, my mind reverting to the tonic Cassian had left behind on the table in the satchel... the very same tonic I did not take today.

Fuck me!

"I..." I whispered. "I need some air."

"Air?"

"Yes. I..." I pressed a hand to my chest, where my heart was fighting to get out through my ribs. "I have been feeling queasy since morning. I just need a moment. Some air. I will be right back, I promise."

The words tumbled out too fast. I could hear the stammer, the thin edge of panic in my own voice, and I could not stop it. I could not stop any of it. It was all over my face and he could see it.

He studied me for a moment and when he spoke again, his voice was all concern and warmth and it was the most frightening thing I had ever heard.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No." The answer came too quickly.

His eyes narrowed and I forced myself to smile.

"I just need a moment alone. I will be right back. I promise."

"Of course," he said.

I turned toward the door. My legs were unsteady as I walked.

I could feel his eyes on my back but I kept my spine straight and my steps even. The corridor waited beyond that door and if I could just reach it, I could run.

The door was right there.

Breathe Ayla, I said to myself. You are almost out.

My hand found the latch of the door and I pulled it open.

Just then Lucius’s hand slammed the door shut over mine.

I jumped, a small cry escaping my lips as I turned.

Lucius stood behind me. His hand rested against the door and he was no longer smiling.

My stomach dropped.

"Lucius?"

He looked at me for several seconds. His expression was strangely calm.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a thin whisper.

"You remember." He said, matter of fact. "Don’t you?"

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