Trapped in an Omegaverse Tragedy

(Song Recommendation: 500 Miles)

Dinner was eaten in absolute silence.

Doha had cooked and fed Songrik. He handled the dishes and then helped Songrik wash.

After they both finally settled in the bed, Doha began stroking Songrik’s hair.

"Are you going to take it tomorrow, hyung?" He asked.

"Yeah, I’ve informed the office about my sick leave," Songrik replied. He felt restless and nustled into Doha’s arms.

There was some silence for a bit. Then Songrik looked up and peered Doha in the eyes.

"Am I doing the right thing, Dohaya?" He asked.

Fear was consuming him.

Fear of things that could go wrong with his body regardless of whether he kept or aborted the baby.

Fear of what this decision will turn their relationship into.

Fear that he might regret his decision in the future.

Fear that... he might not be able to cope with killing the life within himself. A child that would be loved anywhere and everywhere.

"Right is not a strong enough argument, hyung," Doha said as gently rubbed his back. "The word you should be using is ’good’. What is good for you? What is good for me? What is good for us? Right is not always good. But good is always right."

His breathing became softer as soft words kept pouring out of his mouth.

"We are in a relationship but that doesn’t mean we should follow what any standard in world says is right. I think about you, when I have to decide. I think what is a good decision so that you would be smiling widely tomorrow. I don’t do forevers, hyung. Because I don’t know and can’t know how long we have left together. So I think about just the immediate tomorrow. What would make me happy tomorrow? You smiling would make me happy. So I do everything I can to ensure you’ll smile tomorrow. That’s a good decision for me."

Songrik felt awfully selfaware.

Surely what he was doing was right but was it good?

Would his decision today make him happy tomorrow?

Would this decision make Doha happy tomorrow?

...

He didn’t know.

Because he hadn’t seen ’this’ tomorrow Doha talked about.

He had always learned to think in the long run.

He was planning a lifetime together with Doha everyday.

But... how was he so sure of that time?

Realistically speaking, a million things could happen to separate them.

So how was he so sure they would remain together forever?

His logic was flawed.

And this flaw made him question his every decision.

Like the one he was making next morning.

But surely, Doha was with him. He supported his decision. Surely he must’ve understood why he wanted to abort the child.

His thoughts when lulled him to sleep, he didn’t realize.

But he woke up again at 2 o clock in the morning because he felt thirsty. He reached for his water bottle on the bedside table and drank.

He finished half the bottle. Maybe the stress was tiring him out. He saw he had sweated a lot on the bed.

He noticed another thing.

Yeon Doha was gone from the other side of the bed.

An unsettling feeling arose in Songrik’s chest. He could feel in his heart that someth was wrong.

He walked out of the room to look for Doha but he was dizzy and sweating a lot, so it was hard to keep his balance.

His eyes looked gaunt. Probably because of exhaustion and all the stress.

He found a light on in the central bathroom.

He somehow got himself near the bathroom.

What is he doing in the middle of the night?

There was crack in the door, Songrik was going to open the door when he heard a sniffle.

His feet froze on spot and body paralysed with impulse.

Through the crack, inside the bathroom, he could see Doha crouched beside the sink cabinet on the floor, the reports were all scattered in front of him.

Tears were rolling down his eyes as he stared at the ultrasound images of the baby.

He was crying quietly at first, but some thought came in his mind that made him hug the ultrasound image.

A weak sheepish voice came from him, as if he wanted to be heard by someone but feared someone else would hear him.

"Little baby," he pleaded as he wiped his tears with his hands. "I’m sorry. We cannot welcome you."

The words hit Songrik like daggers in his chest.

"God I wish, you could be here. But... your papa isn’t ready yet. We don’t want papa sad, do we now?"

Stop. Don’t cry.

"Maybe... you’ll come back to us in the future. I hope you would not be angry with papa and me."

Stop pleading with such a sad face!

"Oh God I wish... you’d have come to us a little later. I know hyung is doing this for me but it hurts all the same."

I can...I was hoping you won’t be sad...

Doha sprang up suddenly, he wiped his tears and washed his face.

Amd then in front of the mirror, he practiced... a smile. A warm reassuring smile.

"He shouldn’t feel guilty about choosing what he wants," Doha told himself. "I have to support him, just like he supports me."

He then gathered up all the files and reports. He took a good look at the ultrasound before clicking a photo of it.

He then kissed the image on his phone.

"Goodbye, little baby."

When he returned to the room, Songrik was still asleep on the bed.

Ah... his water bottle is half empty...

Doha filled the bottle and placed it beside him on the bedside table. He then kissed Songrik on the forehead as he laid beside him and hugged him to sleep.

Songrik opened his eyes, he wasn’t asleep yet.

"Good decisions....?" He mumbled.

The morning came anyway no matter how the two of them wished for it to not.

Doha braught the pills for Songrik as he finished with his breakfast.

"Here you go, hyung," he said with a warm smile. "Let’s get this over with."

Songrik looked right into his eyes as he took those pills.

Doha then offered him a glass of water. Songrik could see his hand shake slightly.

"I...don’t want to," Songrik said. Droplets fell on his lap from his eyes like the first few drop of rain before a storm. "Dohaya! I want the baby!!"

And he sobbed like a baby himself. Doha...baffled and confused, just hugged him to console him.

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