Seo Yuseong is dead.
Regardless of how he died, the outcome remained the same.
If Seo Yuseong had died in an accident, I would have mourned how futile his death was. If he had died of an illness, I would have grieved over why he had to suffer until the very end. And if he had taken his own life, I would have sorrowed over how tormented his heart must have been to drive him to such a desperate measure.
In the end, every death carried its own pain and sorrow, and there was no such thing as a better death. What mattered was not how he died, but who he was to me.
Having bid farewell to many precious ones, I should have learned that lesson well by now.
But…….
“The hell … who did they kill?”
I wanted to ask someone, anyone, why it had to be this painful.
But perhaps it would be meaningless.
When I lost Seo Yuseong, the most painful thing was the realization that I would never see him again. But beyond that, I was tormented by the guilt of failing to protect him. But then, to make it even worse, I found out that his death might have been intentional—something caused by someone, something I might have been able to prevent.
Seo Yuseong died because he learned about Kang Hyukwoo’s dirty secrets.
The child who couldn’t express his emotions well was brutally murdered by Kang Hyukwoo and Lim Seunghoon in the only place he was afraid of, the sea.
‘I trusted Lim Seunghoon without even realizing it until the day I died?’
My father was always deeply interested in Kang Hyukwoo’s business and desperately tried to secure a share in it. His reckless investments, even going so far as to rack up debts everywhere, was probably because he had fallen into Kang Hyukwoo’s scheme—one meant to use him to get a hold of my weakness.
‘…This is a lie, isn’t it?’
Seo Yuseong had been cold to his father since childhood. He must have secretly followed his movements out of disdain for his behavior and, in the process, discovered Kang Hyukwoo’s business.
Seo Yuseong was born clever, so it was inevitable.
He was different from me, who allowed myself to be swayed by something as trivial as affection and refused to face reality.
“I’m so glad that you have a lot of affection unlike Seo Yuseong.”
And that must have posed a clear threat to Kang Hyukwoo.
‘I shouldn’t have done that.’
If I hadn’t taken Kang Hyukwoo’s hand because I was blinded by my dreams of standing on stage, if I had coldly pushed Seo Yuseong away when he followed me to the company because he wanted to stay by my side. If I had doubted Lim Seunghoon even once, if I had abandoned my father from the start so Seo Yuseong wouldn’t feel uneasy, if I had stayed with Prism until the end despite what Jo Inchan said and protected them all, Seo Yuseong wouldn’t have died.
The tens of thousands of possibilities that I had let slip through my fingers began to weigh me down.
Even though I knew that no amount of regret could change reality, I couldn’t stop.
“Heuk, ah, ugh…….”
Not a single tear fell, yet my shoulders trembled, and I let out ragged, choking sounds as if I were sobbing. In the grip of overwhelming despair, I gasped like a fish out of water, desperately sucking in air only to exhale and inhale again. Even in this state, my body was still instinctively fighting for breath. It was almost laughable how my body was still trying to survive.
“Yutae-ya!”
And with the distant echo of Choi Jeokhyeon’s shout as the last thing I heard, my staggering body crashed to the floor.
Han Seungbeom’s gaunt frame, all bone and no flesh, crashed against the hard floor, yet I felt no pain. At this moment, I had no room to care about such things.
“…Haa, ha…….”
My breathing quickened, my limbs grew rigid, and my mouth became so dry that even breathing started to feel painful.
Whenever I fell into this state from excessive stress, Seo Yuseong would always help me through it. But now, I still couldn’t accept that he was no longer by my side. Those bastards were still alive and well in this world, yet Seo Yuseong was gone. It was impossible to accept such an absurd reality. And even if I tore them to pieces and killed them, Seo Yuseong would never come back.
‘…How am I supposed to tell the Prism members about this?’
Just a day ago, I was happy at the thought of being able to talk with the members of Prism again. But now, I have no idea what kind of face I should show them when I see them.
Prism should never find out about this. They’ll never be able to handle it. They’ll either be completely broken, or they’ll impulsively go after Kang Hyeokwoo. It’s bound to be one of the two. This would be no different from killing Seo Yuseong a second time in their hearts.
I could guarantee it.
Because that’s what I’m feeling right now.
‘What about my mother?’
In my fading vision, I glimpsed what looked like my mother’s face. I shut my eyes tightly. I had told her that I would protect Seo Yuseong, that she didn’t need to worry, but now I was too ashamed to face her.
I was powerless.
“…….”
“Come to your senses! Seo Yutae!”
As my consciousness grew hazy, a sharp ringing sound echoed in my head.
To me, it sounded just like my mother’s screams.
***
[DO YUDA’S POV]
“Yuda-ssi, can you reach him now?”
“No, I can’t get through. It seems like his phone has been turned off the whole time…….”
We were supposed to start preparing for the next comeback soon, but we couldn’t get in touch with Seungbeom-hyung at all. Naturally, the dorm was turned upside down as everyone, including the members and managers, started running around everywhere to find him.
While he often didn’t respond to our messages, he was always quick to reply to the work-related messages from the manager-hyung. Now, though, he wasn’t replying to the manager-hyung’s messages either.
‘Did something happen?’
Since we were in a break period, there weren’t any immediate scheduling issues. However, when the manager-hyung mentioned that he had experienced a few cases where celebrities went off the radar or ran into some sort of personal emergencies that made them unreachable, Kiryang-hyung, who had a weak stomach, started to feel nauseous.1
‘Seungbeom-hyung is a grown adult, and a man. What could possibly happen?’
To be honest, I wasn’t that worried about Seungbeom-hyung. I always had the impression that Seungbeom-hyung was a strong person who wouldn’t be shaken no matter what happened. If it had been the stupid Zen, though, I would have been extremely worried.
I was afraid that I would be scolded for making a fuss over nothing when he probably just needed some rest, and that I would disturb his time off. However, seeing the manager-hyung and the eldest hyungs looking more and more worried, I decided to keep my concerns to myself.
While we were in the midst of searching for Seungbeom-hyung, we received a call from Prism-sunbaenims.
When they asked, “Did Han Seungbeom perhaps return to the dorm?”, I almost blurted out a sharp reply, “Didn’t you, sunbaenims, forcibly take Seungbeom-hyung and refuse to send him back?“. But before I could say something I’d regret, our level-headed maknae spoke first, calmly replied, “We’re also looking for him right now” and “Could you tell us the time and place where you last saw Seungbeom-hyung?”
Then we were told that, after hearing something from Prism-sunbaenims, Seungbeom-hyung disappeared the moment they briefly looked away.
At first, I thought he must have heard some harsh words. But after listening to the nuances of their voices, Kangwon-hyung said he didn’t think so. Rather than being hurt by Prism sunbaenims, he felt that Seungbeom-hyung had heard something shocking or something along those lines.
‘Does it even make sense that Prism-sunbaenims know something that could shock Seungbeom-hyung that much? The only connection they have is that they appeared on the same program together.’
Wasn’t it a little strange?
Come to think of it, Seungbeom-hyung always seemed unusually close to Prism-sunbaenims from the start.
But when I saw Nicholas-hyung looking as fierce as ever right in front of me, I had no time to think any further about it and was forced to immediately shift my focus.
‘Why, why is he giving that phone such a death stare? Phones are living things too.’
I was already distracted by the manager-hyung pacing around anxiously, but seeing how terrifying Nicholas-hyung looked, I felt a cold sweat forming on my back and around my eyes.
‘Someone, save me.’
With a scowl on his face, he kicked at the furniture and muttered something to himself, but honestly, I didn’t understand a single thing he said.
‘It’s probably a swear word…….’
It was a good thing there was a language barrier between us.
I honestly thought it should be considered a crime for such a scary-looking guy to act like that. But as a bug who had long since surrendered to this group’s ruthless hierarchy, all I could do was keep my mouth shut and do as I was told.
“…….”
In the meantime, Nicholas-hyung clicked his tongue in annoyance, picked up his phone, and started speaking into the microphone. At first, everyone in the dorm rushed over, thinking he had finally gotten in touch with Seungbeom-hyung. But the moment they heard his sharp tone and English, they all quietly went back to what they were doing. Everyone immediately realized that the person on the other end of the call wasn’t Seungbeom-hyung.
“…….”
‘Since he’s speaking in English, could it be Nicholas-hyung’s mother?’
But through his fingers, I caught a glimpse of the letters ‘H’, ‘W’, ‘A’, ‘L’, ‘E’, and ‘E’ on the screen, which made it obvious that the name belonged to a Korean person.
‘The surname Lee is written as Lee in English. This level of guessing is easy.’2
Ah, but on second thought, his mother’s and sister’s last names were also ‘Lee‘.
It made sense, because his father was Korean.
‘Hmph, using my brain for the first time in a while is giving me a headache.’
If that’s the case, is Nicholas-hyung getting that angry at his family? Even though he’s the youngest?
As someone raised with Confucian principles, I couldn’t wrap my head around it at all.
Nicholas-hyung was snapping at the person on the other end for quite a while, and with my 30-points English listening skills, I could only understand two words, “Police” and “Right now“.
‘No way, he’s not seriously planning to report this to the police, is he?’
The company had already decided to delay things as much as possible to avoid attracting unwanted attention from the media, so this sudden remark made me anxious. As I silently prayed that Nicholas-hyung wouldn’t do anything rash, he finished his call and approached us.
“I found out, where he is.”
.
.
.
We headed straight to a floor in a hotel run by the Sanghwa Group, a place I had never once set foot in my entire life. I wasn’t sure if we were even allowed to barge in like this, so I felt intimidated, but Nicholas-hyung pounded on the door as if this place were his own home.
“Open the door!”
After a while, the door slowly opened and a man appeared.
‘Whoa, it’s Lee Saehwa.’
Although I had never seen a picture of his face, I immediately realized his identity.
Just like Seungbeom-hyung had said, his sophisticated aura closely resembled Nicholas-hyung’s.
But I felt like there was something fundamentally different.
‘…This person is scary.’
His red eyes, devoid of any light, were lifeless and scanned the faces of the manager-hyung and the members as if evaluating us, before finally settling on Nicholas-hyung with a look that seemed to want to crush him. He then crossed his arms, leaned his head against the doorframe, and quietly spoke.
“Lower your voice.”
“…….”
“Mind your manners, Nick.”
His tone was soft and charming, and yet I felt intimidated.
Apparently I wasn’t the only one who sensed it, because Nicholas-hyung flinched slightly. He gritted his teeth, then spoke in a sharp tone.
“Is this really the time to be concerned about that? You could have contacted me, but you deliberately didn’t. You’re always like this. Whenever something happens, you cut everyone off and go into hiding. Is this your idea of family?”
“…….”
“He won’t be happy about this. Or about you looking at me like that.”
At those words, a subtle crease appeared in his otherwise straight eyebrows.
And the murderous aura seemed to soften a bit, making it feel like there was finally room to breathe.
‘…I feel like throwing up.’
I had no idea where to direct my gaze in the midst of this sudden family fight.
No, forget the family fight, I was just scared. I had thought no one could be more terrifying than Nicholas-hyung and Seungbeom-hyung, but this person was on a whole different level.
But Nicholas-hyung seemed quite used to this kind of situation, showing no reaction as he stepped closer to him and asked.
“Where is he?”
Is he looking for Seungbeom-hyung?
Just as that question crossed my mind, the man blocked Nicholas-hyung with his arm and replied in a flat voice.
“…He’s sleeping after taking a tranquilizer. Something happened.”
…What did I just hear?
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Translator’s Corner:
Idk if it’s the effect of I’m sick (most likely not because I, quite literally, always have more sick days than healthy days) or if it’s just because I’m naturally too empathetic, but this arc is really draining my heart asdfghjkl MC depressed making me depressed as well asdfghjkl and it’s not like I’m crying, I didn’t cry at all since the revelation … omg I guess that’s why. I thought I didn’t cry because I already read this too often (I’m not lying when I said I read the whole novel 100 times already), but I still cried when I read Prism’s POV few chapters ago …. it’s just that, in this arc, rather than sadness, I feel more … empty asdfghjkl like it’s so empty … maybe because MC’s grief is not something fresh that when I put the sentence after sentence together, it just feels … really empty. Detached from reality. Like I really get his feeling of “what’s the point of living like this?”. omg, this is why i always got INFP in every MBTI test.
sigh … I even ate two pieces of very sweet chocolate ice cream but it just felt bitter ………….. how did translators who translate no-happiness-in-sight type of romance genre survive …… or the survival type story where the author seemed to love making the MC suffer just for fun …. i could never … I mean, this kind of story is fun to read … but to translate … is seriously not my passion. I’m a light story lover who picked this up just because I love it so much that I can’t let it be an underrated hidden game …. don’t worry, Seo Yutae, you deserve to be loved by the whole world ….
Seriously, if I died and the God in charge of isekai didn’t reborn me in this novel, I will riot …… I need to protect my dearest MC and save Prism before the novel plot started …. God, if you can give me Seo Yutae in my life, just send me to his life !!! I will fix everything, I remember everything that happened in this story word by word!!!!
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