Chapter 61
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Jiang Li stood outside the hospital, his gaze fixed on the tall building in front of him as if it were something far more terrifying than it should have been. The glass doors reflected the pale winter sky, dull and cold, and for a long moment he simply stared at them, unable to move, unable to think, as if his entire body had locked itself in place. His heart pounded heavily in his chest, each beat loud and overwhelming, echoing in his ears until it felt like it was the only thing he could hear.
They hadn’t even stepped out of the car yet, and already he felt like he was suffocating.
Shen Yu was still driving slowly through the parking lot, his movements calm and unhurried as he searched for a space, completely composed in a way Jiang Li couldn’t understand. There was no tension in his expression, no hesitation in his actions, and that contrast only made Jiang Li’s anxiety feel sharper, more suffocating, as if he were the only one who could feel how heavy the air had become.
Jiang Li lowered his gaze to his hands, only then noticing how badly they were shaking. His fingers trembled uncontrollably in his lap, and he quickly pulled his sleeves down to cover them, hiding the movement as though it might somehow make the fear less real. His breathing was uneven, shallow, each inhale barely enough, and he swallowed hard before forcing himself to speak.
"I don’t think they’re open," he said quietly, his voice fragile and unsteady, almost breaking under its own weight. "Shen Yu, it’s Christmas... we can just come another day."
Shen Yu glanced at him briefly, his sharp eyes scanning Jiang Li’s pale face before returning to the road, as though he had already made his decision.
"I think they are," he replied simply.
The car slowed before coming to a stop, the engine falling silent in a way that made everything feel even louder. Shen Yu stepped out first, closing the door behind him with a soft sound before turning to wait.
Jiang Li didn’t move.
For several long seconds, he remained frozen in his seat, his fingers gripping the fabric of his hoodie so tightly that his knuckles turned pale. His chest felt tight, painfully tight, as though something invisible was pressing down on him, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to take a full breath.
He couldn’t do this.
He wasn’t ready.
But when he finally lifted his head, he saw Shen Yu standing there, waiting for him without a trace of impatience, without even a hint of annoyance, and something about that quiet expectation made Jiang Li’s chest tighten in a different way.
Slowly, as if forcing his body to obey, he pushed the door open and stepped out of the car.
The cold air hit him immediately, biting against his skin, but it didn’t help the way he thought it might. Instead of clearing his mind, it only made him more aware of everything—his racing heart, his trembling hands, the overwhelming pressure in his chest that refused to ease.
He looked up at the hospital again, and a faint shiver ran through him.
"Shen Yu..." he called softly, his voice barely holding together.
Shen Yu turned slightly at the sound.
"Mn."
Jiang Li shook his head, taking a small step back without realizing it, his body already trying to retreat before his mind could catch up.
"I can’t do this," he whispered, his voice breaking as the words left him. "I can’t go in there."
The tears he had been holding back slipped down his cheeks, warm against the cold air, and he didn’t even try to stop them.
Shen Yu paused, watching him carefully, as if trying to understand something that had not yet been said. Then he stepped forward, placing his hands firmly on Jiang Li’s shoulders, grounding him in place, giving him something solid to focus on.
Just as he was about to speak, something surfaced in his memory.
That day.
The hospital entrance.
Jiang Li crying.
Surrounded by people.
Shen Yu’s gaze sharpened slightly as the pieces began to connect.
"Is that why?" he asked quietly, his voice lower now, more deliberate. "That day I saw you crying... is that the reason you don’t want to go in?"
Jiang Li nodded, his breathing uneven as small, broken hiccups escaped him, and being this close to the hospital made everything feel unbearable in a way he couldn’t explain.
It felt like the air had been pulled from his lungs.
His chest tightened painfully, his heartbeat spiraling out of control as a familiar dread crept up his spine, wrapping around him, dragging him back into something he didn’t want to remember.
At first, the voices came faintly, so quiet he almost thought he imagined them, like distant echoes carried on the wind.
But slowly, they grew louder.
Clearer.
Sharper.
His father’s voice.
Cold and harsh, filled with anger and accusation, cutting through him as if no time had passed at all.
Jiang Li flinched violently, his hands reaching forward as he grabbed onto Shen Yu without thinking, clinging to him as if he were the only thing keeping him from collapsing completely. His entire body trembled, his fingers gripping tightly into the fabric of Shen Yu’s clothes, desperate for something real, something steady.
Shen Yu exhaled quietly, his brows drawing together slightly as he understood the situation more clearly.
Leaving now wasn’t an option.
If they walked away, Jiang Li might never come back, and without proper care, the pregnancy would become a risk neither of them could ignore.
Shen Yu lifted his gaze briefly toward the hospital before looking back at Jiang Li, and then, without hesitation, he made his decision.
He stepped forward and pulled Jiang Li into his arms.
Jiang Li’s breath hitched as he was pressed against him, his body instinctively leaning closer, his uneven breathing muffled against Shen Yu’s shoulder as he clung to him.
"Close your eyes," Shen Yu said quietly.
Jiang Li obeyed immediately, squeezing them shut even as his body continued to tremble.
Then, without warning, the ground disappeared beneath him.
His eyes flew open in shock.
Shen Yu had lifted him.
Jiang Li gasped softly, his arms tightening around Shen Yu’s shoulders as he instinctively held on, his legs supported securely.
"Shen Yu!" he said, startled, his voice still unsteady.
Shen Yu looked up at him, completely calm.
"I said close your eyes, Jiang Li."
Jiang Li’s heart began racing again, heat rising to his face despite the cold air around them, and he squeezed his eyes shut once more.
"Please... put me down... I’m scared," he whispered, his voice trembling.
"You’re not heavy," Shen Yu replied evenly. "I won’t drop you."
Shen Yu looked toward the hospital.
Then back at Jiang Li.
His breathing.
His shaking hands.
His tears.
Then he turned around.
At first, Jiang Li tensed, his body rigid as panic threatened to rise again, his chest tightening as though something heavy was pressing down on him.
But after a few steps, something felt... different.
Hesitantly, he opened his eyes.
And froze.
They weren’t moving toward the hospital.
They were walking away.
The realization hit him all at once.
They weren’t going toward the hospital.
They were leaving.
Jiang Li’s fingers slowly loosened around Shen Yu’s coat.
Only then did he realize how tightly he’d
been holding on.
The snow fell quietly around them, soft enough that Jiang Li barely noticed it.
For the first time since they arrived, Jiang Li felt like he could breathe.
"Jiang Li," Shen Yu said after a moment.
Jiang Li made a small sound in response, still leaning against him.
"What do you want to name our child?"
The question caught him off guard, pulling his thoughts away from fear and into something softer, something warmer.
"I don’t know," he murmured. "Shouldn’t we decide together?"
Shen Yu let out a quiet breath that almost sounded like a chuckle.
"I mean a nickname."
Jiang Li fell silent, his thoughts shifting slowly as he considered it.
A name.
Something small.
Something gentle.
Something that belonged only to them.
His breathing continued to steady as his mind focused, his earlier panic fading into the background as he thought about it more seriously.
Shen Yu noticed the change immediately, a faint smile touching his lips, and without saying anything, he turned and walked back toward the hospital.
Jiang Li didn’t notice.
He was too lost in thought.
By the time they stepped through the hospital doors, Jiang Li’s grip had loosened, no longer desperate, his breathing calm enough that the earlier panic seemed distant.
A nurse walking toward them paused in confusion at the sight, clearly unsure what to make of the situation, but before she could speak, Shen Yu raised his hand slightly, stopping her.
He walked to the desk and wrote down what they needed, his movements quick and precise.
"Shen Yu..." Jiang Li murmured after a moment, a small pout forming on his lips. "It’s hard to choose."
"Find a good one," Shen Yu said calmly. "If you do, I’ll buy you your favorite ice cream."
Jiang Li blinked, momentarily distracted.
Then Shen Yu set him down.
The moment his feet touched the ground, Jiang Li looked up—
And froze.
A man in a white coat stood in front of them, his sharp blue eyes focused directly on them.
Jiang Li’s breath hitched, panic rising again, though not as overwhelming as before.
"Shen Yu..." he whispered.
"Hold onto me," Shen Yu said quietly.
And Jiang Li did.
His fingers tightened into Shen Yu’s clothes, his body leaning closer, seeking that same sense of safety again.
The doctor observed them silently before speaking.
"It hasn’t even been three months since your manifestation," he said calmly. "And you’ve already gotten an omega pregnant."
The words settled heavily between them.
Jiang Li’s grip tightened.
His heart began to race again.
But this time—
He didn’t let go.
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