Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Chapter 148: Chapter 146

Sunday, 8:06

Ralites Class only remembered they had a leader the next morning.

Specifically when someone woke up, looked around the camp, and realized he hadn’t heard a certain someone barking orders for several hours.

"...Wait, where’s Gian?"

A few students froze mid-breakfast.

"I thought he came back?"

"Did you bring him back?"

"Not me."

"I didn’t even realize he was gone."

"Didn’t someone go get him?"

No one answered.

They had accidentally forgotten their leader overnight.

One student buried his face in his hands. "Oh no."

"Should we get him?"

Another sighed. "We probably should."

"Before he files a complaint."

"Or kills us."

"Mostly kills us."

A rescue team was immediately assembled.

Unfortunately, the moment they found Gian, every last bit of sympathy vanished.

The man had completely lost his mind.

The second Gian saw them, he started cursing so aggressively that several nearby squirrels evacuated the area.

The birds, however, decided they had suffered enough.

As Gian was carried back toward camp, his furious voice echoed throughout the forest.

"LET ME GO, YOU ASSHO—"

Tweet!

"—MOTHERFUC—"

Tweet tweet!

"—YOU FUC—"

Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!

"YOU ARE ALL ABSOLUTE PIECES OF SHI—"

Tweet tweet!

"YOU ALL REALLY LEFT ME THERE TO DIE?!"

Tweet tweet!

"I SWEAR I’LL TIE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU TO A TREE!"

TWEET!

"THEN I’LL STRIP YOU ALL NAKED—"

Tweet tweet!

"THEN I’LL SKIN YOU ALL BIT BY BIT UNTIL YOU ALL LOOKED LIKE SKINLESS SHI—"

TWEET!

"I’LL MAKE EVERY CLASS STARE AT YOUR BUTT-NAKED FU—KERS!"

TWEET!

By this point, even the birds sounded exhausted.

One particularly brave sparrow even flew directly above Gian’s head and looked down at him.

The sparrow seemed to be considering something vile... personal... especially one that involves bird poop.

Unfortunately for the sparrow, it maintained professionalism and simply continued censoring him instead.

The whole trip back to camp was accompanied by Gian’s nonstop yelling and the increasingly frustrated chirping of local wildlife.

Once they reached the middle of the camp, the rescue team dropped him on the ground, removed the ropes as everyone immediately took several steps back.

Gian slowly stood up, his clothes were dirty, leaves were stuck in his hair, dried roots on his back, and what seemingly like bird poop on his shoes.

The students watched nervously.

"...Leader?"

Gian smiled, one eye twitching violently.

The students immediately scattered in every direction.

"HE’S SMILING!"

"RUN!"

"THAT’S NOT A NORMAL SMILE!"

"IT’S THE SIGNATURE BLANCA SMILE!"

Meanwhile, I sat comfortably near the campfire eating breakfast while watching the disaster unfold.

Gian simply looked at the fleeing students before his gaze slowly shifted towards me.

I smiled and offered him a plate. "Good morning."

His eye twitched again as he began walking towards me. "You."

Before he could get any closer, Gawain suddenly stepped between us. "You got a problem with her?"

Gian stopped. "...You?"

"Yes. Me."

"Oh."

I interrupted before Gawain could beat Gian to a pulp. "He was with us last night."

Gian pointed at Gawain. "...How did he even—"

"You must be hungry right now," I cut him off as I handed him a perfectly grilled breakfast sandwich.

His murderous aura vanished as he grabbed the sandwich with both hands then sat down directly in front of me and started devouring it.

Several students slowly peeked out from behind trees.

"...Did she tame him?"

"I think she fed him."

"Same thing."

By the time Gian finished the sandwich, he had tears in his eyes.

I smiled sweetly. "Feeling better?"

He sniffed. "A little."

"Good."

I leaned forward as the smile on my face somehow became even sweeter.

"Let’s talk business."

Gian frowned suspiciously. "What business?"

I clasped my hands together.

"You can keep being the leader, continue ordering everyone around, and you’ll never see me stepping foot in this territory again."

Gian narrowed his eyes. "And?"

"In exchange, you give Altaire your flag."

Gian stared at me. "That’s bull—"

I immediately raised a finger. "Or."

"Or?"

I nodded cheerfully. "Or I’ll become the new leader of Ralites."

"..."

"I’ll kick you out."

"..."

"No class will adopt you."

"..."

"And eventually I’ll order this class to surrender their flag to Altaire."

He suddenly burst out laughing.

"Hahahaha!"

Several students flinched.

"Hahahahaha!"

A bird flew away.

"HAAAAHAHAHAHA!"

Even Gawain looked mildly concerned.

Finally, Gian pointed at me. "Do you honestly think my class will let you do whatever you want?"

I smiled. "Yes."

His eye twitched. "You can’t kick me out of my own class!"

I nodded. "Okay."

"This class won’t ever approve you as their leader!"

I tilted my head. "Actually, they very much want me to be their leader."

Gian snorted. "That’s impossible."

I looked past him toward the gathered students. "Am I right?"

The students immediately looked away the moment Gian turned to look at them.

Gian smirked triumphantly. "See?"

I sighed. "You’re scaring them."

"What?"

"How about this?"

I pointed behind him.

"You keep your back facing them."

Gian narrowed his eyes. "And?"

"If they agree with me, they’ll throw stones near us."

"..."

"..."

"...Fine."

He crossed his arm.

"Let’s settle this once and for all."

As soon as he turned his back, chaos erupted.

Thunk!

A pebble landed beside us.

Thunk! Thunk!

Another two followed.

Five.

Ten.

Then suddenly it became a meteor shower.

Small rocks flew from every direction.

One bounced off Gian’s boot, another hit the ground between us, a third narrowly missed Gawain, and a fourth hit Gian exactly in the head.

"OW!"

"Sorry!"

"NO YOU’RE NOT!"

The stone barrage continued.

Students who couldn’t find rocks started throwing pinecones, someone threw an apple, and one ambitious student launched an entire potato.

"WHO THREW THE POTATO?!"

"I PANICKED!"

Within seconds, the ground around us were full of small objects.

Gian slowly turned around to see the students abruptly stopping.

Some hid their hands behind their backs.

Others whistled.

One was still holding a rock.

"..."

The student slowly dropped it.

"...I can explain."

A vein bulged on Gian’s forehead.

"What."

He pointed at the ground.

"Kind."

Another point.

"Of."

Another point.

"Deal."

Final point.

"IS THIS?!"

I pointed at myself. "The kind where I’m being generous."

"YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE BENEFITING FROM THIS DEAL!"

"That’s right."

The sheer honesty stunned him.

For a moment, Gian didn’t even know how to respond.

I smiled pleasantly.

"Although which option will you choose?"

I tilted my head.

"The easy one."

Then pointed at him.

"Or the harder one."

Gian opened his mouth. "You wicked little bi—"

"Continue," Gawain suddenly interrupted him, smiling while aiming his soul weapon directly at Gian’s face.

Gian immediately corrected himself. "You wicked little... businesswoman."

"Thank you."

"That wasn’t a compliment."

"I’ll take it as one."

"Can you at least give me... a moment to decide?"

The man looked like he had aged several years in the last ten minutes.

I sighed dramatically and stood up.

"Very well."

I placed a hand over my chest.

"It seems Gian has yet to reach a decision."

The students collectively groaned.

"Therefore, I shall graciously step aside and allow him the space he needs to think."

I walked away with Gawain.

The moment I was out of earshot, the students mercilessly rushed to Gian.

"You could have chosen Blanca as leader instead!"

"Yeah!"

"You can just temporarily step down!"

"You’re the class president anyway!"

"Technically you’d still have authority!"

Gian’s eye twitched. "What are you all—"

"Who would cook for us now?!"

The entire camp immediately fell silent.

The question had struck everyone’s heart.

"She’s like a five-star chef."

"No."

"She’s better."

"Even the eggs tasted amazing."

"I didn’t know eggs could taste like that."

"I thought I hated vegetables."

"I ate three servings."

"I ate six."

"I ate eight."

"We’re getting off topic!"

"No we’re not!"

The students immediately turned back to Gian.

"You ruined everything."

Gian stared at them. "...Excuse me?"

"You ruined our chance."

"Our chance at what?"

"A hostage/ free chef."

The camp nodded solemnly.

"A tragedy."

Gian looked around in disbelief. "You people realize she’s literally the enemy flag, right?"

Nobody answered.

"RIGHT?"

One student hesitantly raised a hand.

"Counterpoint."

"What counterpoint?"

"We would have won the exam already but the most important thing is that she made grilled pork."

Several students nodded.

"Very compelling argument."

"The beef was excellent too."

"The matcha was life-changing."

"I was there."

"We were all there!"

Gian looked like he wanted to launch himself into the sun.

Meanwhile, the students continued their assault.

"You know how hard it is to find someone who can cook, negotiate, scam other classes, and improve morale at the same time?"

"That’s a very specific skill set."

"Exactly!"

"And you almost chased her away!"

One student grabbed Gian’s shoulders dramatically. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CUP NOODLES SHE GOT US?"

"THAT WASN’T EVEN FOR OUR CLASS!"

"THAT’S NOT THE POINT!"

Meanwhile, a student looked toward where I was supposed to be sitting.

"Guys..."

Nobody paid attention as they were still busy emotionally destroying Gian.

The student pointed at the empty spot. "She’s gone."

The camp fell silent as they looked to where he was pointing.

"...What?"

One student swallowed. "She’s really gone."

Another looked around frantically. "CHECK THE TENTS!"

Students immediately started searching but she was nowhere to be found.

Every single head slowly turned toward Gian.

He immediately took a step back. "...Why are you all looking at me?"

"You see what you did?"

"What?"

"You scared her away."

"I DIDN’T SCARE HER AWAY!"

"You absolutely did."

"You rejected her leadership application."

"THAT WASN’T A LEADERSHIP APPLICATION!"

One dramatically fell to his knees. "Our chef..."

Another covered his face. "Our future..."

A third pointed accusingly at Gian. "You ruined everything."

Gian looked ready to explode when a student suddenly came running from the edge of the territory.

"I FOUND A NOTE!"

Everyone immediately crowded around him.

"What does it say?"

The student unfolded the paper then cleared his throat.

"Since negotiations failed, I’ve decided to negotiate with another class instead.

Regards, Blanca."

The camp froze.

"..."

"..."

"..."

One student slowly lowered his head. "She left us."

Another sniffed. "She really left us."

A third clenched his fists. "We failed her."

Every single student turned towards Gian again.

"We want our chef."

"We want our hostage."

"We want our future leader."

"We want breakfast."

Gian pointed at them in disbelief. "THAT’S FOUR DIFFERENT THINGS!"

The students didn’t care.

One student crossed his arms.

"Bring."

Another nodded.

"Her."

A third pointed toward the forest.

"Back."

A fourth smiled pleasantly.

"Or we’ll kick you out of the class."

Gian finally snapped.

He threw his head back and released a shrill scream that echoed throughout the entire forest.

"BLANCA YOU LITTLE—"

TWEET!

"YOU MANIPULATIVE—"

TWEET TWEET!

"YOU ABSOLUTE MENACE OF A—"

TWEET!

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