[BL] Debut in Interstellar After Retiring as Grim Reaper

Chapter 301: Merit

"Why did you use your own merit for that child?" After sending the child, Ji also erased the mother and father’s memories about meeting them and left that dream of farewell. The others are not on their business anymore so they left and went back to the underworld.

And this is Si’s question immediately to him.

Ji stops walking and looks at the grim reaper. He could sense the genuine doubt in his words because apparently, it is not because he didn’t know that he can but rather, why ’waste’ your own merit that he worked hard to accumulate just to give it to someone else like that child?

"Because the child wishes for it." he simply replied.

The grim reaper frowns. "Is that what the Judge wants me to do? To give my merit to those souls?" The tone of his voice sounds not right. Even the devil on the reaper’s side frowned at that thought.

Was this just basically saying you have to work your ass off and even your pay will be given to others? Then why work?

Ji chuckles. "Of course not. Giving merit is voluntary. I meant to give it to the child after I saw his sincerity and genuine love, not just him but also for his parents. I’m sure that even in his next life where he won’t remember this life, they will still be happy being a family together."

The grim reaper paused for a while. "... That’s it?"

Hm? Ji saw that there’s still confusion in his eyes.

"So what if he really feels that way? Would that be beneficial to you?" In No. 444’s eyes, sacrificing something you work hard for just to give it to someone else without benefiting you is equal to nonsense. And even doing it for someone whom he just knew for that time was very dumbfounding to him at all.

Ji didn’t answer for a while. Is it? Truthfully, yes. There are things that need to be given that might bring more to you. Merits from these are even more stronger than the usual merit they accumulated from fighting monsters, defeating devils and demons, and even from sending souls. Ji knew this after using it one time and asking the Judge when he noticed something strange inside his body.

It wasn’t like an illness or he went weak, rather the power that he had was way more solid and sharper. The Judge told him not to tell anyone about this discovery.

However... he looked at No. 444 and thought for it a while before answering.

"No," he lied with a smile on his face. He wouldn’t tell because he knew that if this grim reaper knew, he would do his utmost ’best’ to do it that way. "I don’t give it that much if that’s what you’re worrying about. I did it because I was willing."

"But I don’t understand how you casually gave it to them. The child will have a better body and life in his next life, I think it’s already good." Unexpectedly, No. 444 seems to find this situation with a novelty. He’s more curious than anyone else right now.

Ji thinks it’s a good thing. That only meant that it’s starting to make a difference, given how he used to react a while back. However, he would not satisfy this grim reaper now.

He turned to the devil on the side. "Yin, what do you think?" he asked. Unlike the ’ignorant’ grim reaper, this devil definitely understands what he said. Yin is someone who faces different enemies. Devils face more darkness— negative emotions, betrayals, war, traumas— everything perhaps that’s the opposite of light. The environment made it so. But that doesn’t mean of course that he doesn’t understand what those are.

For someone like this great devil, he knew.

The devil frowned at him. "Being soft-hearted is never a good thing." he commented that he expected.

He laughed for a second and was about to speak when Si’s next words stunned them.

"Heart?" His head tilted for a bit. "Grim reapers don’t have a heart."

"...."

"???" Both he and the devil turn towards him with a dumbfounded face. Is he being sarcastic? Those words definitely are but the look on Si’s face told them that he was not.

And it was even as if he was asking the literal way.

But that’s impossible— he thought.

"Si, grim reapers are actually like humans too. We feel something and we somehow connect it with others. Being soft-hearted for something like this isn’t that bad. You may not feel it yet but after experiencing it, it’s very wonderful." A flash of tenderness appeared on his face and he raised his hand to feel the beating of his heart.

"It’s very warm in the heart—"

"What heart?" Yet, even with his explanation, there’s still a confusion on his face. He saw him looking at his hand on his chest.

"Why do you feel warm there? What is the heart you are talking about?"

This time, he finally realizes that they aren’t on the same page at all.

"Si, if you’re talking about me being different from what you think about grim reapers, I am indeed. Some of our reapers do have a stone-hearted and that’s what you may have encountered but there’s still me who just—"

"No." He cut him off. "I don’t mean that way."

He sighed. "Then what do you mean? Is it something bad? Is it that bad to you that grim reapers also want to experience a life? We may a rule not to interfere with human lives but—"

"Wait, stop." It was the devil who couldn’t take this small confrontation and he also looked at No. 444 with confusion. "Can you explain what you meant by that question in the beginning first?"

Si blinked his eyes and pointed to his chest. "You said that you feel your heart warm so I am asking you what do you mean by feeling warm when grim reapers don’t have a heart."

He frowned. He really didn’t know how the atmosphere just turned like this but for some unreasonable reason, he just felt irritated by those words. It was as if he’s saying that grim reapers like them are not allowed to feel anything.

And he even looks clueless at his words as if he really doesn’t understand so he was very speechless, thinking that this is maybe the reason why when he asked others about him, some colleagues wince a bit.

It’s really his attitude.

"See, it’s still the same—"

"No." The devil cut him off again.

Yin felt an indescribable forebeing and sigh. The next second without a word, he suddenly raised his hand and put it on the grim reaper’s chest.

"!!!"

No. 444 instinctively backed away and swatted the man’s hand. A cold expression flashed in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" he coldly warned him.

Ji was also surprised but when he realized what he wanted to do, that’s when he understood something and made his eyes widen in bewilderment.

"Y-You!" He also pointed No. 444’s chest. "You... don’t have a heart?"

The air suddenly froze. It was as if time stopped at that moment.

No. 444 looks at the bewildered expression on their faces and he also realizes the point.

Does that mean that when he said that his heart felt warm was because... he does have a heart inside his chest?

But... he doesn’t have a heart.

That realization stunned him. There was silence among them but for the first time in his life, he felt that this silence was very deafening.

On his stillness, Yin took that chance and silently raised his hand again and put it on his chest. He stood frozen, watching the devils’ expression in front of him turned complex.

He pursed his lips. In this silence, he seems to hear nothing. He felt it. There was nothing inside him.

... He really doesn’t have a heart.

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