Caesar's Moon

Chapter 39: Chapter 38: Ideologies

Years ago in the silent street as the rain fell, Kaezan who was wearing a brown hoodie, black trousers and sneakers, was walking on the road with both hands in his pockets.

While walking, several voices echoed in Kaezan’s head.

"Seven hundred thousand?! Nah, man, you’re on your own."

"Is this what you have become?!"

"You’re an ero-wrestler, now?!"

"Bitch of a man."

"Tell me, Kaezan, how does it feel? Does it feel good or really good?"

"I’m sorry but we don’t... Serve your ’kind’ here."

"Hey, handsome. Would you like to put those ero-skills of yours to good use?"

"Oh look how the mighty has fallen."

As Kaezan was still walking, Akari’s grin played in his head.

"Oh, I am so excited to see your match this coming week. I wonder how you will fare against the loan shark Magoi.

Well then, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see... My beautiful toy."

Kaezan after remembering everything, halted and gritted his teeth.

"Fuck you. Fuck you all." Kaezan said silently.

Currently in the hospital as Caesar and Kaezan were still together in the hospital room, Kaezan exhaled and spoke.

"When I was forced into ero-wrestling, I was made to go through the development center called Tough enough.

Akari threatened to kill me if I fail to pass it. I had to put everything I had to ensure it doesn’t happen.

The training was... ’Tough’ . Strict teachers who talk about ero-wrestling like it is normal.

People who had great in-ring talent and also had talent at those perverted things."

Kaezan stayed quiet for a time, staring at the sheets that covered his body before he continued speaking.

"But what made it scary was how every week, they would cut out a group of people. So you have to keep doing your best and above to make sure you don’t get cut.

For someone in my situation, getting cut was not an option.

In a day, it’s either someone or a group quits because they can’t handle the pressure or in a week, a someone or a group gets cut out.

That kind of thing leaves you paranoid because you can never tell when it will be your turn.

Are you performing well or underperforming?"

"I tried to be strong. I tried to endure everything... But there were cracks on the walls." Kaezan said as he recalled his younger self vomiting in the toilet, "Everything there just disgusted me, but I had to keep going otherwise it would be the end for me."

"At the end of the program, I was among those that passed." Kaezan continued after the recollection, "I was nearly at the bottom of the list, but a win is a win.

However, that’s when the true horrors began."

"Akari... In that soulless family, she is the most fucked up person there." Kaezan said as he took a gaze at Caesar.

"Yeah, I know." Caesar replied.

"Freak, degenerate, soy-boy, pervert and a couple of other shit I got because I became an ero-wrestler." Kaezan said as he turned his face away, "Something I didn’t want but was forced to become.

At one point, a restaurant refused to serve me food because of how I was perceived.

Fuck! Some bastards thought what I was going through was cool and they wanted a part of it because ’I got to wrestle chicks, get my dick sucked and eat cookies’... So disgusting."

Kaezan scoffed.

"The last guy that tried to make light of my situation left with a black eye and got his teeth kicked down his throat."

"Wow." Caesar said as she gazed at Kaezan with a blank face.

"I get where you are coming from." Caesar continued as she turned her face away again, "To be hated and scorned for something you didn’t choose.

Me being hated by a large majority in EBW for being a ’nepo’ because I didn’t pay my dues and got the ’good stuffs’ that others had to work their asses for.

To the non ero-wrestling fans, I’m a whore, a degenerate and a thrill seeker. Someone who because she lived a bad life, made bad decisions and ended up becoming an ero-wrestler."

"Heck, I’ve even been sexually harassed at workplace because of my status as an ero-wrestler." Caesar continued as she placed her palm under her chin, "The bastard thought that me being an ero-wrestler gave him permission to grope my ass and learnt the hard way... Though I went overboard with how I did it. Almost beat him to death."

"I did get to learn that a lot of ero-wrestlers that are in EBW aren’t there because they want to feel good or because they are perverts, but because they are desperate. You know ... People who had nowhere else to go and needed to fend for themselves or the ones they love, so they were willing strip themselves of their dignity and bear society’s scorns." Caesar said as her eyes rolled towards Kaezan.

"I don’t give a shit." Kaezan replied, "Doesn’t make the company any less sane. It’s still fucked up."

"Yeah it is." Caesar said, "But do you know what makes ours different? It’s that the others had a choice. They knew what they were stepping into and they were willing to take it.

We... You and I... Our choices were illusions that we could see through, and yet we were forced to still bear the unjust judgement of society.

For you, it was your life. For me, it was the lives and safety of the ones I deeply cared about."

Kaezan kept quiet as he narrowed his eyes before he spoke to Caesar.

"The ones you care about... Do they care about you, too?"

"Yeah. Yeah, they do." Caesar answered.

"And how are you certain?" Kaezan asked.

"Because we’ve been with each other throughout the hard times." Caesar answered.

"We’ve always stuck our necks out for each other." Caesar continued as she recalled Rai and Eyo standing between their parents and an injured younger Caesar with a scowl while tears were falling out of their eyes.

"No matter what happened, we always had each others backs." Caesar continued as she recalled her younger self standing between her parents and her younger siblings while glaring at her parents.

"The reason why I entered EBW was to protect them from the dangers of the Mizukais." Caesar said after the remembrance, "But they are also my anchors. The reason why I can keep moving forward despite everything."

"They are also the main reason why I haven’t taken my life." Caesar said with a smile.

"Do they know about this? The fact that you are in ero-wrestling for their safety?" Kaezan asked.

"No. And it’s best it stays that way. For their own good." Caesar answered.

Kaezan stared at Caesar for a moment and turned his face away.

"It must be nice to have people who really care for you."

Silence sat in the air for a time until Caesar spoke.

"Earlier in the graveyard, I asked about Balland and you didn’t give me a vague answer."

"Do you know him? Was he among the friends that set you up?" Caesar asked as her eyes rolled towards Kaezan.

Kaezan stayed mute for a moment before answering.

"I do know him. He was my friend, and no, he didn’t set me up. He wasn’t even present during that time."

"Before I was forced into ero-wrestling, I... I tried to reach him but his number was unresponsive." Kaezan continued as Caesar narrowed her eyes.

"He told me he tried to help you, but you seemed so scared and angry." Caesar said.

"I was." Kaezan said with the look of guilt and shame, "I was in a terrible headspace and it was days after my second match with Magoi.

He kept trying but with everything that happened and was happening, I pushed him away.

I pushed away the one person that really wanted to help."

"Heavens, I was such a fool." Kaezan said as he covered his face with his palm.

Caesar stayed unresponsive and stared at Kaezan for a few seconds before she spoke again.

"He is my boss."

"Huh?" Kaezan said in confusion as he glanced at Caesar.

"Balland. He is my boss. Well one of my few bosses." Caesar said, "And he is the one who has helped me a lot in this situation."

"If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know what I would have been doing right now." Caesar continued as she turned her face away and tilted her head down, "Akari threw me into the ring with no form of training just to see me humiliated and destroyed, but Balland, after my first match, hooked me up with a personal trainer and I got to say, as much as that old guy is crazy, he is hella effective in his teachings.

There are a lot of things Balland is doing and has done for me that I don’t know how to thank or repay him for his actions."

"Is there still hope for me?" Kaezan asked, "Do you think I could reach him?"

"The hope part... That is up to you, but as for reaching Balland... I don’t think that is possible right now." Caesar answered, "He is currently unavailable."

"Why? Is something wrong?" Kaezan asked.

"Not sure." Caesar answered.

Kaezan gazed at Caesar in silence. His eyes rolled down in conflict before he returned them back to Caesar.

"You said the hope part is up to me. How? What hope is there for me?" Kaezan asked, "I know that once I recover, I will be forced to go back to either the asylum or EBW and I don’t think I can spend another minute in any."

"You’re more likely to go back to EBW." Caesar replied, "Since you escaped and seem sane... Sort of, she’ll pick up from where she stopped with you."

"I-I don’t want that." Kaezan said as his voice had a bit of panic in it.

"Of course, you don’t. Why would you?" Caesar said, "It’s a shitty place and the things we do in there is shitty as well.

Hmph. Ero-wrestlers... What a joke. Yet, I can’t decide what the bigger joke is? The ero-wrestling as some sort of sport or the people watching what we do yet condemning us.

Believe me when I say there are hypocrites who consume degradation as entertainment yet despise the degraded."

"What does that have to do with what I’m saying?" Kaezan asked.

"Nothing... Yet everything." Caesar answered, "After my match with Nero Rogue and Akari revealed the real reason why she placed me in ero-wrestling, something snapped inside of me."

"I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to die." Caesar continued as her ears flattened, "But before I could do it... Before I could take my own life, I remembered my reason for living. My reasons for fighting... My anchors... And I just stopped."

"If I died, who will be there for them? I am basically the only one who is protecting them. How will they feel when they learn I’m dead?" Caesar asked as she raised her head, "I couldn’t do it. Not while their lives and safety are resting on my shoulders."

"However. I had another anchor. One I created that night, and that was to spit in the face of Akari."

"Huh?" Kaezan said in confusion.

"I can’t touch her. I can’t throw words at her in her presence... ’But’... I can still defy her by not giving her what she wants." Caesar said as she turned her cold gaze towards Kaezan.

"Not giving her what she wants?" Kaezan asked softly.

"Akari wants me broken. She wants me crying and begging. She wants a full mental collapse where I end up just like you. No offense." Caesar replied, "And she wants that just to satisfy her twisted curiosity and sick arousal.

That night when I refrained from killing myself, I made a new vow... A vow of being an ero-wrestler not just to protect the ones I care about more but to also spite Akari."

"To deny her the satisfaction of watching me break." Caesar continued as she coldly narrowed her eyes while her irises glowed.

In that moment, Kaezan’s body slightly trembled as he felt a dangerous pressure radiating from Caesar.

Kaezan then entered an entranced state for a moment and saw the upper body of a black-yellow humanoid demonic wolf hovering over Caesar.

"That sick game she is playing, I will turn it against her and make her regret putting me there." Caesar said at the moment Kaezan saw this, "No matter what or who she throws at me, she’ll never get the reaction she craves."

Kaezan’s eyes widened in horror as fear crept into his body while Caesar was speaking.

"Endure silently... Win loudly." Caesar said, " ’That’ is my goal."

"H-huh?" Kaezan said as his eyes were still widened.

"So tell me: what is yours or what will it be?" Caesar asked, "Are you going to let Akari keep on having her way with you? Giving her what she wants or are you going to fight back and deny her her cravings?"

Kaezan was mute at Caesar’s question.

He wanted to speak but the words were stuck in his throat.

After staring at Caesar for some time, he tilted his head down, closed his eyes and clenched his teeth.

"I-I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do any of this. I-I just want to be free."

Caesar stared at Kaezan with her plain exterior and spoke.

"We both do, but that is not happening anytime soon. You know that.

We are gonna be in that company for a long time till either the debts get paid or she gets what she wants.

And like I said before..."

"I don’t intend to give her that." Caesar said as she tilted her head while her irises illuminated again, "Are you gonna give it to her again ... Or you gonna give her the middle finger?"

"We will meet again one day in the ring, and who will I be seeing in that moment? The broken toy of the Mizukais or the man who decided to rule his hell?" Caesar continued as Kaezan slightly opened his mouth in horror, "There is an old saying that goes ’If your path demands you walk through hell then walk like you own place.’

And that is what I intend to do."

"Once again... What about you?" Caesar asked as she narrowed her eyes, "Are you going to remain her plaything or are you going to become the Bhaal Null of EBW?"

"Bhaal Null?" Kaezan asked as he raised his head.

"Yeah. The boogeyman." Caesar said, "The one who rose above his tormentors and became the devil king of the moon, hunting all his in path once the full moon goes up."

"I...I-"

"Take control, Kaezan." Caesar interjected as she drew her face closer to his, "Defy Akari. Turn her own game against her."

"You gave her what she wanted before." Caesar said as her irises glowed once more, "Don’t do it again."

Kaezan softly stammered as he was both horrified and at loss of words.

Quietness hovered in the atmosphere until the sound of the door opening resonated, causing Caesar and Kaezan to turn to it’s direction and saw Akari.

Akari wore a black dress with purple accents and beside her was Gendo who was wearing a blue suit while being accompanied by guards and nurses.

"Oh. It seems like you are having a wonderful conversation." Akari said with a smile.

"Akari." Caesar said flatly.

"Hello, dear." Akari said to Caesar, "I watched your graveyard fight, and I must say, it was quite... ’Entertaining’."

Akari then turned her gaze towards Kaezan and gave a disturbing yet sly smile which made Caesar turn and saw Kaezan trembling in fear while his eyes were widened.

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