I Married Three Calamities (And Got A System For It)

Chapter 19: Chapter 19: Crazy Woman

Solaris just stared blankly at the ring for a couple of seconds, unmoving. Seconds that made Mars nervous, thinking that maybe he’d been too hasty by showing the ring.

As he was about to speak, Solaris beat him to it, her strange voice echoing around the living room:

"Where did you get this ring?" she asked, and Mars had never heard Solaris speak in such a calm tone.

And that scared him to death.

’Now, what the fuck is going on again?!’

"Yesterday," Mars said in a tight tone, trying to come up with something. "I got it yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Solaris tilted her head slightly, looking at him, or more precisely at his face, still full of bruises not fully healed.

Mars watched Solaris’s expression shift from confusion to realization and then back to confusion, this time with her characteristic scowl cracking across her face.

"Don’t tell me you got beaten up yesterday because of this ring," Solaris said. "Are you a fucking fool?"

’What? What kind of nonsense is this woman spouting now?’ Mars thought in confusion, before he immediately understood the situation.

’Does she think my wounds are because of this ring?’ His eyes widened slightly, and Solaris took that as confirmation of her deduction.

A strange feeling bubbled inside her heart. But she didn’t even entertain it, burning it to ashes before it could take root.

Still, it was impossible to fully discard the feeling, which made her sigh angrily, her face taking back its fierce expression.

Mars, meanwhile, was thinking about how to use this situation to the best of his abilities.

Technically, he hadn’t lied. He’d gotten the ring yesterday. It was Solaris herself who’d made the leap that he’d been beaten for it.

Would he be a goddamned fool and let this opportunity slip away?

No fucking way!

This was his chance to get close to Solaris, so he could protect himself by helping her avoid another mental breakdown that would turn him to ashes.

His decision was made faster than anything.

"So you did get hurt because of this ring," Solaris said again. "Are you a fucking fool? Why would you do that?"

"I saw the ring and thought it would suit you," Mars replied coolly.

"You think a ring only believers of the Church of the Holy Sun can wear suits me?" Solaris laughed incredulously. "Let me say it again: are you a fucking fool?"

’This is the third time, by the way. And your family is foolish!’

"Why?" Mars frowned slightly. "Aren’t you a believer?"

"Of course not!"

"What?" he exclaimed, taken aback. "Isn’t your uncle a Bishop of the Sun in that Church? Hell, your whole family is known to be a bunch of fanatic—!"

He stopped himself just in time, smiled sheepishly, and continued, "Well, your family is simply a bunch of good, devoted believers. Very devoted, even."

Solaris rolled her eyes. "I thought everyone knew about that incident."

"I’m not everyone. And you’ve caused so many incidents, we won’t even get to start our cleaning and cooking if we start listing them."

"You’re getting loud, fucking plebeian. Speak to me with respect," Solaris hissed, suddenly taking a menacing step forward, her face close to his own.

Mars’s heart skipped a beat, but he forced himself not to move. He attempted a smile. "You’re so beautiful, Solaris. I like your eyes, they’re like twin suns. Scary but mesmerizing."

"Y-You! What?!" Solaris jumped backwards, taken aback by the unexpected compliment. "Bitch, how dare—!"

"Why aren’t you a believer of the Holy Sun, being a Lightbringer?"

"Are you fucking trying to change the subject? I’m not a fool!"

"I just said what I thought. You don’t like being complimented?"

"Who cares about a compliment from a plebeian?" she shot back defensively, gathering herself, cursing again. "And the reason I’m not a believer is simply because my uncle banned me from the church."

Mars’s face suddenly turned exasperated. "What did you do this time?"

"This time?"

"Solaris, please, let’s not do this. We have work to do, right?"

"Tell me first who beat you," Solaris said, her eyes cold and burning. "And don’t you dare lie to me again, plebeian. This matter concerns me now, because of this ring. So spit it out and stop being a damn pussy."

"You don’t speak like a Prime."

"Fuck the Primes!"

"...right."

"Will you speak or not?" Solaris urged. "If you refuse, fine, I won’t press. But I’ll find out myself either way."

She smiled coldly.

"All I need to do is go to where you lived and burn everything until I get my answer."

"You wouldn’t dare."

’She actually would.’

"You know I would."

’Crazy bi—! I mean, crazy woman!’

Mars’s face twisted with difficulty. He didn’t want the girls involved in this, let alone Solaris.

He wanted to solve it himself because it was his own problem.

However, thinking about it again, maybe he shouldn’t. Maybe he should put his ego aside and actually seek his wives’ support.

Only through that could they build connections: by going through things together.

’And besides, I need my money from my boss.’ Mars’s eyes narrowed, watching Solaris’s impatient eyes. ’It doesn’t look like a great idea, but Solaris... Solaris is a good partner to have for retrieving some cash, isn’t she?’

He couldn’t help but smile sinisterly. It wasn’t a bad idea to let his walking disaster of a wife blow off some steam.

Especially after yesterday’s episode.

That was his job as a husband.

Coming to a decision, he nodded. "I’ll tell you," he said. "I promise I will. But first, let’s answer my question then let’s start the cooking and cleaning, and during our training I’ll tell you."

"Why wait so long?" Solaris frowned.

"Because once I tell you, we’ll have somewhere to go, you and I."

"Huh? Where?" she asked. "And I don’t like how you said ’you and I,’ bitch."

"Are you a fan of Sakamoto Days?"

Solaris’s eyes lit up with sudden excitement. "Yes, of course—!" She clapped her hands over her mouth, stopping herself from talking.

Mars grinned at her. "You’re so cute. It’s fine to be an otaku as a girl. Why—!"

"I’m not a fucking otaku like you!" she hissed.

"Yeah, right." His smirk deepened, giving Solaris the intense urge to punch his face. "Anyway, we’re going to do it like that. We’re not killing anyone. We’re just going to take some money."

"Oh," Solaris said, her lips trembling as if fighting a grin.

"So?" Mars prompted. "Why aren’t you a believer?"

"I just said the Sun God is a bitch while a High Priestess was giving a sermon, and I was banned," Solaris shrugged lazily. "These motherfuckers are so sensitive."

Mars looked at her blankly, then closed his eyes wearily.

"You’re fucking crazy, Solaris."

She grinned. "At least I’m not a whore like Moon."

"Hell no, Solaris, you’re not dragging me into your problems with Moon," Mars refused, shaking his head. "Anyway, what about the ring?"

"What about it?" She snatched it from his hand. "I’ll take it, of course, fool."

"But you’re not a believer."

"Who fucking cares? I dare them to come for me over this!"

’I feel like this is going to bite my bony ass later,’ Mars thought, sighing.

Still, it was something for Solaris. They’d do whatever was necessary if something happened in the future.

For now,

"We have a deal, then?"

Solaris looked at the ring nestled on her ring finger, beautiful against her well-cared-for hand, and suddenly realized that... this was a ring... and a ring was only given to...

She shook her head wildly. ’Don’t think about it! It’s not like that! It’s just a ring!’

She gathered herself, looked back at Mars, and nodded slowly. "We have a deal," she said. "Don’t forget my three massages!"

"Oh? You want it that badly, h—!"

"I will fucking kill you if you finish that sentence."

"...right."

’Tough crowd. No one can joke around here anymore.’

"Let’s get started," Solaris said, urging him, already moving to gather the cleaning supplies. "We have training later, and somewhere to go, apparently."

"Yes, let me show you how to use the cleaning supplies."

"I’m not an idiot, plebeian."

"...debatable statement, to be honest."

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"Nothing."

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