I Married Three Calamities (And Got A System For It)

Chapter 20: Chapter 20: Cleaning & Cooking

Mars showed Solaris patiently how to use the tools to clean the house. It wasn’t easy, and not because she was stupid, but because Solaris refused to listen.

She loved doing everything her own way, which made the explanation process a real living nightmare for Mars.

They lost a considerable amount of time bickering, cursing, and with Solaris almost punching Mars, before they finally reached a middle ground.

Only then did Solaris start cleaning the house.

Her face at the beginning was hard and obviously dissatisfied, but the more time passed, the more a serious expression emerged on her face.

Mars observed her calmly from time to time as he busied himself cooking breakfast, and lunch afterwards.

They had enough ingredients to manage both of those.

However, they had nothing for dinner. Mars was very tempted to sell some of the many luxurious items in the house to earn money, but abandoned the idea immediately after.

He didn’t want to make the women live in a poor, uncomfortable environment. Their situation was depressing enough as it was.

For him, there was no drastic change in his living conditions, except the big house. Mars had always struggled with money and food.

But he could very much understand that for these three princesses, who probably never knew what it felt like to look at an empty fridge at night after a whole day of work and choose to drink water to survive the night... this situation was probably as close to hell as they could get.

’Still, they’re managing better than I expected.’ Mars mused as he cooked.

He turned his head once more and saw Solaris, kneeling on the ground, cleaning the table in the middle of the living room extensively with a blue cloth.

Considering she wore only a long shirt, that sight made Mars audibly gulp.

So audible, in fact, that Solaris heard it, making her snap her head straight at him. She wore her usual tight frown. "What are you looking at?"

"I’ve been meaning to say," Mars said hesitantly, "maybe you should wear something that... huh... let’s say, covers more of your body?"

There was a sharp pause before Solaris’s voice exploded.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she hissed, stopping cleaning instantly. "You’re telling me what I should wear? On my own damn body? With my own clothes?"

’Woman, come on, we’re not having this conversation.’

Solaris continued relentlessly, "Are you the type of insecure man who orders his wives to wear—!"

"First, it’s not about insecurity," Mars cut her off. "Second, I was telling you that more for me than for you. I’m a man, Solaris." He shook his head. "I don’t need to tell you more than that."

"You’re just a fucking pervert."

"Oh!!" he exclaimed. "So you’d have preferred it if I looked at your body in those clothes and felt nothing at all?"

Solaris paused at that question, suddenly at a loss for words, her face twisting into a difficult expression.

"See?" Mars chuckled. "That’s not me being a pervert. It’s a natural reaction."

"Then keep your natural reaction to yourself. I wear whatever I want."

"As you wish," he shrugged, turning back to cook the eggs and heat water for tea. "I don’t mind the view anyway."

"You..." Solaris clenched her teeth hard and stopped herself from cursing him. She knew it was useless, since Mars was a shameless man.

In the end, she just ignored him and continued cleaning. She was almost done.

When Mars finished cooking breakfast and put it all on the table in the living room — since the dining table was broken by Solaris — he immediately started on lunch.

He wasn’t going to do anything difficult.

He took the rice and put it in the rice cooker. Next he cut some onions and sweet potatoes to cook on the stove, while at the same time cooking the salmon they had on another burner.

By that time, Solaris had fully finished cleaning. She’d only cleaned the ground floor, and only the parts most likely to get dirty.

It didn’t take too much time.

So now she leaned her left hip against the kitchen counter, just a couple of steps from Mars, arms crossed beneath her heavy chest, and watched him with deep seriousness, trying to learn a thing or two while she was at it.

Solaris wanted to be better at everything.

"You can go eat first if you want," Mars said, still cooking. "Then start training. I’ll join you when I’m done."

"Don’t order me."

His lips twitched. "I’m just trying—!"

"Don’t fucking try, then. And I’ll go when I feel like going. You should be faster," she said, rolling her eyes. "What’s so difficult about what you’re doing right now?"

"Everything looks easier when you look at it from the side," Mars replied. "You should know that, shouldn’t you? How many times did you curse and spit at reporters when they dared say you got your modeling contracts simply because you’re a Lightbringer?"

Those words tightened Solaris’s face immediately, making her remember everything she’d lost, all over again.

"But it obviously wasn’t easy, was it?" He smiled at her.

"Why does it matter now?" she hissed bitterly. "They all abandoned me when I was no longer a Lightbringer in name. They fucking abandoned me, plebeian. So maybe those bastards were right."

"Positive thinking, Solaris! Positive thinking!" Mars shouted immediately. "I don’t need you freaking out and throwing a fireball at my ass, okay?! Calm down!"

"It’s you saying calm down when I’m fucking calm that would make me lose control, bitch!" she snapped.

Mars stopped, then nodded...

"Oh... yeah, right. Then should I say don’t calm down?"

"How about you shut your damn mouth?"

"Interesting proposal, but no thank you," Mars replied lazily. "And I just remembered that one of the ingredients of the Food Serum is Holy Water from the Church of the Holy Sun. You know, I was happy to hear that, because, after all, I have a literal Lightbringer with me."

He turned his head towards her, seeing her looking the other way. "Guess what I felt when I heard you curse the very god your fanatic family worships."

"I never believed in that crap anyway. I’m not a believer."

"You’re also not the sharpest knife in the box, are you?"

"Go fuck yourself."

Mars ignored her curse. "Now that you can’t help us obtain the Holy Water, and knowing only the Church has it... can Moon and Willow go?"

"Don’t be a fucking fool. My family hates the Rose and the Skygazer."

"I’m talking about going to the church... not your family’s house."

"The church is controlled by my family. It’s the same thing."

"Fanatic and corrupt—!"

"Mars, I will kill you."

"...guess the truth is forbidden here. Fine." He sighed, finally putting down the utensil.

He was done.

He turned fully to Solaris and looked at her. "So you mean to tell me I’m the only one who can get this Holy Water now?"

Solaris smiled coldly. "Guess so."

"Does the Church accept poor people, at least?"

"They prefer rich people, but they’ll accept the likes of you."

"Do they bless Holy Water for the one who weeps hot tears beneath the altar of the Sun God?"

"If you kiss the ass of the Sun God deeply enough, and your tears are convincing."

"Sweet. Really convenient." Mars smiled crookedly, his tone suddenly shrinking to a barely audible whisper. "The anniversary of my mother’s death is in three days."

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