I didn’t know where to start with words, so I made my hands busy. Voss and I cleaned up as much wreckage as we could. I’d be lying if I said hearing him grunt with exertion didn’t affect me. We sorted the last piece of debris and moved to a nearby hill overlooking what remained of the city. The swamp remained calm, despite all the earlier chaos yet the dry half had been decimated completely.
We sat down on top of the hill, letting the silence wrap around us because speaking would break the moment.
“Guy.” And there goes the moment. “You didn’t check in.”
“I know.” I was exiled, what was I supposed to do? Hell, even with the council divided and scattered, I’m still technically exiled.
“You could have checked in with me.” He took the clip in his hair out, it fell in dark waves around his shoulders. He ran his fingers through his silky black hair, combing it like he always does when he’s nervous.
“I know. There was a lot going on, Voss. There still is.” Honesty. I owe him that and so much more.
“I heard.” He snorts. Voss sat his hands in his lap carefully, as if moving too much would break whatever was holding him down right now. “Congratulations,” he softly whispered. His tone was anything but congratulatory though.
Dammit.
I turned to him. I gathered as much courage as I could find to say the words I should have said before I left.
“Thank you.” He blinked and raised a questioning eyebrow. “Thank you for loving me. For wanting me, teaching me. I wouldn’t be me without you—”
“You sure as hell don’t seem like you right now.” His words were sharp but his gaze was soft. “When was the last time you ate a healthy meal? Had a shower and some real sleep?”
Silence was my answer because I honestly couldn’t remember.
A rueful chuckle bounced off his chest, it reminded me of the wind chimes grandpa had in his cave.
“What kind of mate lets you run ragged like this?” I sighed and laid down on the grass.
“The kind who has to juggle the world on her shoulders. The kind of mate that is so busy taking care of everyone else that she forgets to take care of herself and her mates…” the words slipped out before I could stop them, “and her baby.”
Voss’s eyebrows shot up, eyes widened. He cleared his throat, putting some bass back in his voice.
“You have a baby?” I smiled, his voice still squeaked at the end.
“Yes and no.” He waited with bated breath. I almost kept it to myself because on some level I was still coming to terms with it. “The baby isn’t mine. It’s her husband's.”
Before he could interrupt with a much needed argument, I held up a hand.
“That husband is also my second mate, believe it or not.”
I was for sure certain that Voss’s eyes were about to pop out of his head and that he’d give me hell. But instead? He laughed his ass off, rolling around in the dirt, holding his gut like a kid who heard the world's worst joke.
“Glad you find it hilarious.” I groaned, throwing my elbow over my face.
“I’m sorry.” He wheezed, wiping a stray tear away. “It’s just that…the goddess must have one hell of a sense of humor to give you two mates but all they’ve done is made you the third wheel.”
I scrunched up my nose. “That’s not true. They both love me, in their own way.”
Voss’s face turned serious. “I get that. And I know your big dumb heart can tell when someone’s hurting you but I also know you’re stubborn as fuck.” No disputes from me, Voss knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.
I shrugged, unsure what else to do. They do love me. Wyatt seemed like he was finally coming around to the idea of taking our relationship to the next step but at the absolute worst time. Sapph was my angel, period. If she wasn’t so deep in the black hole that is Wyatt, we’d be tangled up in the sheets right now and…it would be my baby inside her.
“Fuck…” I sat up and buried my face in my hands. I’m better than this—I have to be! I should be happy my mates are having a child,a child that I will love and cherish like my own. But they won’t be my own…not fully.
“Easy, big man.” I felt his hand on my shoulder and sighed, missing his touch. “Let me guess, the reality of being a secondary father just hit you?”
“...who am I, Voss?” I raised my face up to the orange sky and let the humid air cover me like a blanket. “What am I even doing? I used…I—”
“You used to be team leader and now you’re in a supporting role?” Yet again, Voss gets me. I wasn’t just the leader because of who raised me, no. I led my soldiers because I was the best. Everyone wanted me or wanted to fuck me but one thing was for certain: I was never anyone’s second choice.
“I know she’s your idol…but you know you can walk away if you want to, right? You can reject them.” I pulled away from him, mouth twisted in disgust. I wouldn’t lie and say I hadn’t thought about it but I don’t think I have the strength to leave them.
“It’s not that simple, Voss.”
“Oh, it’s not? Is that because I’m still mateless?” He crossed his arms, the venom dripped in his words but I refused to run away.
“No, it’s not—”
“Just answer me this then,” he held up a finger to my lips,”do they both want and choose you?”
I started to nod but I paused, mulling it over. Individually, I feel that the answer is yes. But together…those two damn near consume each other in their love and anyone else just gets caught up in their wave and washed away.
“If you’re thinking this long, then the answer isn’t what you think it—” Voss stopped and jumped away from me just as a hauntingly familiar pink tail slammed in the area he just sat in.
“Do not touch what is MINE!” I had never seen her so aggressive…and so fucking hot. Her eyes were wild, short pink curls plastered with sweat on her mahogany cheeks.
I should not be bricked up while watching this…but I am.
Voss’s muscles tensed, he took up a fighting stance but his knees trembled with fear.
“Oh shit—no wait, Sapph it’s not what you think it is!” I tried to warn her but I was already too late.
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